Method of communication: Direct messaging through Instagram 

April 13, 2023 - 5:01pm 

Sophia: Hi, My name is Sophia and I wanted to talk to you about some of your art. I am in 11th grade and am looking at you as an artist in my comparative study for my IB art class. I have learned so much about you and I find you so interesting and inspiring but I have trouble finding recent stuff. If that is an active choice I completely understand but if you are open I have some questions I would love to ask you. 

May 6, 2023 - 2:51am

Graffam: Hi Sophia, thanks for the kind message. Sorry I only saw it just now! Ask away~

May 10, 2023 - 10:34pm

Sophia: First, I want to thank you for taking the time to talk with me, I am so excited to hear from you and really appreciate the response. I also wanted to say that I have been reading the news about what’s going on in the states, I am so sorry you have to be in an environment like that and I hope you are saf. 

Before I ask you anything specific I want to also make sure that you are comfortable with this conversation and I have your consent to cite you in my report. Since everything needs to be cited for the IB program, I will copy our conversation as an interview onto a password protected document only there so I can cite my sources. If that makes you uncomfortable I completely understand but would love to work something out so we can still have a conversation about your work. 

May 11, 2023 - 4:14am

Graffam: Hey, no worries at all. Thanks for all the kind works. No concerns about the conversation, feel free to ask whatever is helpful. I’m an open book!

May 12, 2023 - 12:04 pm

Sophia:  Wonderful, thank you. For part of my project I am comparing two of your works, “Pink is the Saddest Color” (the one with the polka dot dress and where the face is somewhat covered but the pink paint) and “if you don’t like how I look then leave.” There are a lot of differences in these two pieces but a major point that stuck out was the faces and how they communicate so differently. I would love to hear from you the intentions of the pieces and how these differences are important to the composition and communication of the pieces.\

May 16, 2023 - 1:13am

Graffam: Hey sorry for the slow response, I think that is a very interesting question and I’ve never really thought about those two pieces directly related to each other but I think there is a similar root to them, just expressed differently. 

Pink is the saddest color was the first work I made when I started transitioning in 2014 and was a initial reaction and confrontation to my physical appearance and emotional state during that time. I had just been left by my longterm partner for being trans and was experiencing a lot of discrimination and threats against me, and felt like I couldnt even look at myself, or at least parts of myself. I used painting as a means of attacking that, metaphorically and literally by abstracting my face or confronting the viewer with my own appearance as a testament to my own existence. 

Where as ‘if you dont like how i look then leave’ was a response to a similar insecurity just 3 or 4 years later. It was an insecurity that because I was trans and would always be perceived as trans, that I would never be enough for someone else. I was in another long term relationship with a cis man and felt constantly inferior to cis women and felt at odds with trying to blend into ‘straight culture’. The way its painted I think was much more detailed, unabstracted and non glamorizing to illustrate a sense of authenticity or not hiding away from my physical appearance, on my journey to accepting myself on a deeper level. 

The title is a reference to the song “boyish” by japanese breakfast, in which she tells a story about being cheated on by a partner and left for someone who is more feminine and beautiful. It really resonated with me and I related to it so strongly that it kind of inspired the piece.