A lot of the comparative studies do not introduce the piece first. By not describing the scene, narrative, subject, images used initially, the examiner can not see how your perspective on the work is formed and it limits their ability to address your subsequent analysis.  

USE your introduction to tell me what your findings. 

I do not need to know that you will look at the assessment criteria, I need to know that you chose these artists because... and you are interested in.. and you have been discovered...

The reason that we write it at the end is so that we have a better connection to the pertinent information that an our original superficial choices. 

Introduce yourself as an intelligent candidate who has been able to show how you have grown as an artist as a result of this in-depth and critical investigation. - NOT JUST A TASK to show knowledge. Supposed to help you grow. 

SPEAK TO Sally Bray or use the slides provided. 

Make sure that all of your referencing system is the same throughout. It needs to be logical and consistent.

"Art piece's title" or Art piece's title will differentiate between what is a quote and what is the piece.

not 

"Art piece's title" 

Also unpick to the title! It is so important!!!

"Repetition of ideas and information was frequent. This is particularly the case on screens dedicated to comparing and contrasting, which often simply repeat earlier points. The best candidates understand that the whole study is a comparison and develop this discussion from the start in the manner of a well-argued presentation of ideas."

"the use of Venn diagrams in weaker submissions had limited connections and comparisons with no evidence of critical analysis. Placing information on a screen is not developing a discussion of similarities and differences."

It is called a comparative study and so you need to tell me something that is more thorough and shows an in-depth critical analysis of the work shown. 

Fuller sentences illicit better responses, but it is not about writing more, it is about more of a development of an argument and addressing concerns that are deeper than the obvious / expected / superficial. 

"The best candidates used the comparison screens to develop a discussion."

There needs to be an authentic engagement with the three works and a connection to how this work is a reflection of the artists and their times. 

Each time that you look at an image, or a section on a page refer to it as FIGURE x and then reference properly. If it is the first time that you have looked at an image then you need to add this in as well. (look at the image on the left) feels sloppy and undermines you as an excellent art student. 

Ask your peers, your parents, anyone else... to read it through before you hand in the assignment. Retell them the story of your PP. Get used to seeing the elements come together and make sense.