Counselling 101

Students at Risk

Sometimes, students can look perfectly normal, even smiley and liked by all. But on the inside, there is a storm brewing, with no one to provide shelter.

There is thus a need to be pay close attention to the minute details so help can be rendered early.

Reasons for such symptoms

New environment

School transitions/new classes
Stress and anxiety

Traumatic Events

Death of Parents
Physical/Sexual Abuse
Bullied by others

Symptoms

Learning Difficulties
Weak in Language
Poor Memory
Poor Motor Coordination
Higher Impulse
Dislikes change of routine
Short attention span
Clumsy
Poor social skills
Difficulty reading/doing math
Eating Disorder
Reading difficulties
Selective Mutism
Apathy
Injuries or signs of hurt
High anxiety

Barriers to Communication

As teachers, we seek to understand our students better by establishing better communication. However, communication can sometimes be challenging as...

Students may feel:

Shame associated with needing help/assistance
Pessimism in outlook and thoughts
Fear
Anxiety
Threatened by loss of independence

Students' Motivation to resist communication

Loyalty to others
Unwillingness to make changes
Resentment of teacher or school for requiring interview
Sees no necessity for interview
Difference in goals: Student's Vs System's
Teacher's values mismatch theirs
Teacher's personal characteristics eg. age, race, gender
Teacher's failure to assure confidentiality

Secrets to better communication

1. Picking a venue

Pick somewhere comfy and private - students dislike the stigma of meeting a counsellor/teacher
If at a rectangular table, sit at the corner to be less confrontational
Ensure space allows student to feel safe - not dark and scary etc

For reticent students

Students can draw something that represents their current emotions on a piece of paper and then ask about the drawing to elicit answers.
Students can also pen down how they feel.

2. Talking Tactfully

Always start with "small talk".
Paraphrase/repeat students' sharing as a means of confirmation and also as a way to show the student that you hear him/her
- Let me see if I got this right...
- I see that you feel...
Affirm and thank the student for sharing especially when it comes to matters that are tough to share
Check for student's feelings
Check for any actions or method they are using to cope
Use open-ended questioning
- What caused you to be late?
- How did it happen?
- What were the thoughts going through your mind when it happened?
Avoid using these words:
- "Why" - which implicitly makes the student think that he/she is wrong and is being asked to justify one's actions
- "Right?" - students tend to say yes to such questions even if it may not be so
Avoid close-ended questioning except to confirm facts
- Examples of close-ended questioning
  - Were you late?
  - Are you ok?
  - Did you feel scared?

*Try to solicit information instead of trying to find solutions immediately. Get to know all the facts and underlying factors before a decision on the type of suitable help is made.

3. Manage body language

Lean slightly forward but offer student sufficient personal space
Ensure eye contact is on the client but do not stare at client especially if client is uncomfortable
Do not face the client squarely as this is often associated with aggressive behaviour
- Sit slightly adjacent to the student so that his personal space is preserved
- If at a rectangular table, sit at the corner of the L-table if possible
Maintain an open, accepting posture
- Do not fold your arms

4. General Tips

Foundations of Helping Relationships CARE:

Communicate (Fat)

Feelings, Action, Thoughts

Affirm (Pay)

Praise, Appreciate, You

Respect (For)

First, Open-mindedness, Regard

Empathise (All)

Acknolwedge, Listen, Lift
Listen – Attend, Read, Tune in, Summarize

5. Addressing the class

There is no need to pinpoint victims when highlighting your awareness and expectations to the class
Pinpointing victims may cause bullies to attribute al the information you know to the victim and fuel more bullying
Not pinpointing specific students also gives bully a chance to amend their actions without thinking that they have already been black-listed.
Victims always fear that the bullies will bully them even more.

6. Share Helpful Frameworks

Pre-emptive measure: STAR MODEL

STOP
THINK
ACT
REFLECT

Worst-Best-Most Likely Framework

What is the worst thing that coud happen if you don't tell your from teacher
What is the best thing that could happen if you tell your form teacher?
What is your form teacher likely to do?

Guided Reflection

If you could have the perfect life, what would it look like? [this sieves out what the individual wants most in his/her life?]
What are you doing to get what you want?
Did the action helped get you what you want?
Is there a better way to get what you want?

*When anger is unleashed. there can be no logical debate - so always wait for students to cool down before you reason things out with them.

Beyond Parental Control

Did you know?

About 50% of those beyond parental control are girls and it usually has to do with sexual promiscuity.
For the boys - it is usually because of criminal activities
- Loanshark runners
- Rape/consensual underage sex
- Assault
- Public Nuisance
- Arson

Background Info

Singapore law takes the Mens Rea approach - that the intention or knowledge of wrongdoing that constitutes part of a crime, as opposed to the action or conduct of the accused.
Probationers:. They have to be home from 8pm - 6am. If found guilty, they may have to be transferred to the boys/girls home.
Parents who hand their children over on the basis of them being beyond parental control, cannot expect to "retrieve" their children as and when they like eg. for Chinese New Year.

Role as teacher:

Help students on probation to bite the bullet, remain faithful to it and work towards turning over a new leaf.
Ensure parents are deeply conscious of the consequences of subjecting their child to "Beyond Parental Control", before they make a decision.

What to do if you see warning signs?

For referral to IMH

For students who are deemed to be mentally unstable and needs external professional help, the teacher should refer student to IMH rather than to any hospital, as the hospital would eventually refer to them to the IMH.

When in IMH

Follow the child into the room to oversee the process and ensure child's wellbeing
- Observe if the child is also depicting the same facts
  - Some students may not want to depict the truth for fear of having to stay in IMH or being stigmatised
- Assist if needed

Some intolerable cases that must be reported immediately

Child abuse
Incest
Possession of Firearms
Drug possession/consumption - sometimes these slip through the cracks of online purchase

*Report to HOD along with a counsellor, who will talk to VP and VP to P.

Interesting family dynamics observed

Father domineering - son likely to be domineering
Mother domineering - son likely to be quiet or subdued

Must-Haves for building good relationship

Mindset

Relationships

ICT

Working with Students

ADHD Students

Can place them nearer to the back
- Allow them space to move about without distracting others

Visually Impaired

Colour Blind
- Ensure slides are not referred to in terms of colour
- Ensure you know which students have this condition and which colours are challenging for them to decipher

Poor vision
- Test paper has to be specially re-formatted
- Cannot be simply bolded and resized on A3
- Cannot be simply enlarged in size as some diagrams, words may fall to the next page

Other students

Teach them how to embrace and appreciate peers with special needs

Working with parents

Use the "we" approach rather than a "you" and "I" approach
Best interests of students are at the centre
Employ the use of ICT like whatsapp personal messages, websites or other ways to constantly keep parents up to date with what is happening and with their child's progress

A Current Overview

There are approximately...

24000 special-education students in mainstream school
66 in each school
13 in each level

WHICH MEANS 2 IN EACH CLASS!!!

This means we are almost sure to encounter students with special needs. How can we equip ourselves to handle this?

In terms of our educators, there are approximately...

400 Allied Educators
3000 Teachers trained in special needs
Student Development Team
- AEDLBS
- Career Guidance
- Year Head
- Level Head
- Discipline Master
- School Counsellor