Rev. Michael Aparo

I FELT CALLED TO THE PRIESTHOOD, BUT NOT TO CELIBACY.

Written by Francis Grady Taylor originally published in The Hartford Courant, April 10, 2002

As a young man in a Rome seminary, [The Salesian Pontifical Athenaeum] Mike Aparo spent a lot of time thinking and praying. It was the mid-1960s, the time of the Vatican II Council, an exciting time when the (Catholic) church was poised for momentous change.

It wasn’t enough for Aparo. One year short of graduation, he left the seminary and married …. “I felt called to the priesthood but not to celibacy,” he said.

More than 20,000 priests are estimated to have left the priesthood to marry in the past 25 years. Those numbers are heard often these days, as the church attempts to cope with pedophilia scandals. Critics say the celibacy requirement narrows the pool of candidates for the priesthood, making the church disproportionately vulnerable to people with unresolved sexuality issues.

It took years, but Aparo eventually attained his dream of the priesthood – and marriage after being ordained by an independent bishop in the Western Orthodox Church, a Christian denomination.

Although the Roman Catholic Church is more diverse than just priests who have chosen a lifetime of celibacy, it still has no allowance for someone like Aparo. The church includes family men who have joined the priesthood as widowers, priests who have converted from other denominations and continued to be married, and married priests in the Eastern Rite Catholic Church.

And there are those who call themselves married priests.

A Roman Catholic priest is ordained for life, and one who marries is laicized, or reduced to the status of a layperson in the church. Though no longer a cleric, a married priest can still [in case of “emergency”] hear confessions, give absolution and perform baptisms and marriage ceremonies, but not inside the institution of the church.

For example, a laicized priest can officiate at a wedding outside a church, hear a bedside confession or perform a baptism, as long as the ceremony is not held inside a church [and in the case of weddings, will not be considered “valid” by the Church].

Aparo does not regret his decision to switch denominations so that he could be married and be a priest. The Western Orthodox church is similar in liturgy to the Catholic Church and follows doctrines of the early church. The church has its own organizational and national structure but does not recognize the pope as its spiritual leader.

“There was a time when a rectory had two or three priests who lived together and shared prayers and camaraderie, but now most rectories have a single resident” according to Aparo. “They don’t have a family, and that is so sad.” (End of Courant article).

***************************************************************************************************************************************************

I left the Salesians in 1964 from Rome when the Council was finishing its second session. I married in 1966 and was ordained a permanent deacon in 1974 for the Archdiocese of Hartford. A few years later my wife left me, and the marriage was annulled (in 1976/77). AND I was told that I had to remain celibate in order to continue functioning as a deacon.

In 1984 I was laicized so I could marry my present beautiful wife, Ann. We have two daughters. In 1991, I was ordained a priest by a friendly autocephalous bishop (with a pedigree going back to an excommunicated RC Brazilian bishop, Carlos Duarte Dacosta). I was incardinated in in the Good Shepherd Companions in February, 2014.

I had a weekly religious TV show in Italian for the neglected Italians in our area. The TV show ran for a good ten years before the station was sold to Telemundo.

I had gotten an MSW degree in 1970 and worked for Catholic Charities for about twenty years, and then for a state mental hospital, where I became chaplain upon my retirement in 2000, until it closed in 2010. Now I volunteer at another state hospital and at an assisted living facility, where I offer counseling, companionship and religious services several times a month. I perform weddings as well as baptisms, anointing the sick and funerals. I received a Doctor of Ministry (D.Min) degree in 2019 from Global Ministry University.

I had the joy of officiating at the weddings of some young men whom I had baptized, when they were infants, when I was a deacon.

I am the president of a local interfaith clergy association where I feel well received by all the clergy, including several canonical RC priests. I am pretty happy with the way things have worked out for me. I feel like I have made a difference in the lives of those I live and work with.

Fr. Michael Aparo

e-mail: aparomic@gmail.com

Website: www.mikeaparo.com