Homily at Elizabeth's Christian Funeral Liturgy

ELIZABETH M BARICKO: March 13, 1920 – April 3, 2012

Jesus told his disciples:

“The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified.

Amen, amen I say to you,

Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies,

It remains just a grain of wheat.

But if it dies, it produces much fruit.

[ John 12: 23 ]

Elizabeth Baricko was given the name of “Elizabeth” at the time of her baptism. Over the years she was often called Betty. That is, until about thirty years ago when she became a grandmother and we started to call her “Grammy,” a name that really fitted her well. That’s the name I’ll use in speaking about her today.

We’re here today to celebrate both her life and death, just as a runner is cheered on not only while running the race but also while crossing the finish line. And Grammy crossed the finish line in great style.

We met as a family a few days ago to select the Scripture reading for today’s Mass and we focused on the hard times and the sufferings she endured over her ninety two years on earth. We also thought of how grace-filled her life was. We chose the scripture in which Jesus speaks not only about a grain of wheat falling to the ground and dying, but also on the fruit that it produces. That was Grammy’s life. “Amen, amen I say to you: unless the grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat. But if it dies, it produces much fruit.”

Often when we talk about death, we are thinking about dying physically, about the end of our life here on earth. But the Monks of old saw it in terms of “dying to self,” letting go of our selfishness, our pride, our anger and resentments. It’s a matter of opening our hearts and minds to God’s will for us and accepting each day as it comes from God’s hands. It’s about turning our will and our lives over to the care of a loving God in whom we trust. That was Grammy’s life.

Her baptism was not just a social convention or an inherited custom, something she was born into. For Grammy, it was a personal decision, a long term commitment, a free act of faith. These words were said to Grammy when she was baptized and she took them to heart:

“Dearly beloved, this child has been reborn in baptism. She is now called a Child of God, for indeed she is. In confirmation she will receive the fullness of God’s Spirit. In holy Communion she wil share in the banquet of God’s sacrifice, calling God her Father in the midst of the Church.”

She told me one day that she learned to say the rosary when she was three. Over the nine years he lived with us after Grampy died, I heard her morning, noon and night praying the rosary, watching Mass on television and saying her prayers in her room. Sometimes as she got older, she’d be sound asleep in her chair in the living room while watching Mass on TV. I thought to myself, was she sleeping or was she praying? Actually, she was doing both. She was always accepting of God’s will without questioning.

Grammy had her share of sorrows and hardships. He daughter Joan died at the age of one, and her son Billy died when he was in his early twenties. She lived through the hard years of the depression and made ends meet even when Grampy was seriously injured at work. Over the years he had several serious operations herself. And through it all she walked in faith, in the hands of God.

Think of this for a moment. Everything, without exception, that we are or have came to us from God. And every good thing we are able to do or accomplish in life happens because of God’s grace and presence in our lives. Of ourselves, we are nothing! We are virtually powerless! We cannot claim the credit. We can only live in gratitude. And this is our secret: It has been said that our prayer begins where our power ends. How true! Most everything worthwhile in life begins where our power ends – because it is then that we are forced to open our hearts to a power greater than ourselves – and that power is God who leads us all the way home.

It would seem that at first she resigned herself to life’s hardhips and suffering because she had no choice. Then with time and God’s grace she began to accept her lot in life. Eventually she may have approached embracing life’s difficulties much as St Therese who said, “To suffer and not to die.” The center of her life was the Blessed Mother and Jesus in the Mass.

Some think that faith in God is a warm blanket – it’s the cross! Grammy understood the meaning of these words: “Are you unaware that we who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?” [Rom.6:3]

True spirituality is to be found in the midst of a fully human life and not apart from it. God chose not only to create human nature, but also to work through it. Grammy’s life was truly and fully human, a mixture of joys and sorrows, happiness and disappointments, love and forgiveness. Did she fear dying?

Absolutely not! Her face lit up in a big smile when she spoke with Jan about dying and wondered who would meet her when she entered heaven. She spoke frankly and openly also with Kelly, Devon and Katie. The one fear she did have was the fear of going to a nursing home and not returning to her own room at home. I told her that I had painted her room and that, surprisingly, I had done a great job and that the room is waiting for her when she gets out of the hospital. However, we both knew the reality and we spoke about John 14 where Jesus says not to let your hearts be troubled. Have faith in God and also in him and that in his Father’s house there are many dwelling places and that he is preparing a place for her.

We like to say we are spiritual beings on an earthly journey – but we can also say we are human beings on a spiritual journey. And the human part was not to be denied. There were times when she annoyed us and an equal number of times when we annoyed her. How could it be otherwise? She was living with us in a home she did not own and I didn’t like it when she’d say to me, “It’s your house,” and Jan didn’t like it when she’d ask, “Can I have a few of your cookies?” It was always our house and our cookies.

I’d be sitting in the back room on the computer and from the front living room Grammy would cry out, “Jack! Jack!” I’d rush to the front room expecting to find an intruder at the front door or a raging fire … “What is it?” I’d ask and she would calmly answer, “The mailman came.”

If I did her laundry on Saturday and brought it back with a sock missing, it was a major issue. She had her feet pedicured every month and had her toe nails painted. Now when she was in the hospital, her painted toes became an attraction. Kelly mentioned one day, “You know, Gram’s ninety two years old and she has really pretty feet. They’re really nice, like Mom’s, only nicer.”

Grammy also had new glasses which she wouldn’t wear for fear of breaking them – and she was hard of hearing and would try to cover up the fact by saying “I know” when she had no idea of what was just said. But love and forgiveness prevailed in every situation. St Therese said grace is everywhere – and we found that grace and God’s presence in all of these very human situations.

Well, we started out speaking about the grain of wheat falling to the ground and producing much fruit. Grammy, like the grain of wheat, fell to the ground an died – and her life and her death produced many graces and much happiness and many treasured moments for all of us.

If you mention the phrase “the word of God,” we would immediately and rightly think of the words written in the sacred scriptures. But Jesus is also the Word of God, he is the living Word of God sent to us by God the Father. And this is what came to mind when I wanted to close with a scripture passage that would in some way highlight how Grammy accepted Jesus and became a Child of God.

[From the Gospel of John ]

In the beginning was the Word,

And the Word was with God,

And the Word was God.

He was in the beginning with God.

All things came to be through him,

And without him nothing came to be.

What came to be through him was life,

And this life was the light of the human race.

The light shines in the darkness

And the darkness has not overcome it.

He was in the world

And the world came to be through him

And the world did not know him.

He came to what was his own

But his own people did not accept him.

But to those who did accept him he gave the power to become Children of God,

To those who believe in his name,

Who were born not by natural generation nor by human choice

Nor by a man’s decision but of God.

And the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us,

And we saw his glory, the glory of the Father’s only son, full of grace and truth.

AMEN!

One last word for those of us knew and loved Grammy:

Death may end a life. It does not end a relationship.

Jack Hauck