Self-Care

Review Your 2026 Goals

As we enter the last few weeks of 2026, your goals for next year should be reviewed. It’s the perfect time to reassess your accomplishments for 2025 and organize the new year ahead.

How did 2025 shake out?

I like to make a list (using last year’s focus) on what was achieved in your career this year.  Did your career targets meet your expectations?  What goals needed revising or provided feedback for other career tracks, like a promotion or movement to a different area?  Get an assessment for where you’re at in your job and make a goal(s) for 2026.

Does your lifestyle fit you?

Again, ask yourself the questions about who you’re socializing with and why.  Does my “tribe” support my long- and short-term goals?  Am I getting the support I need to make my dreams a reality? Plus, remember lifestyle is everything from your budget on spending, where you live, and who you hang out with. These all need to align with who you truly are and where you’d like to end up.

Is your mindset supportive or hurting you?

Your frame of mind has a huge impact on your personal goals and their success. For example, if you’d like to try to learn a new language, hobby, or change careers you can!  You have to start, without having the mastery or confidence to be good at first.  We all start out as a student at some time in our lives. But, never starting that path toward change will definitely hinder your progress toward learning and growth. 

So, the old saying rings true, “If you think you can or cannot, you are always right!”  Having a positive mindset to achieve your goal is the first step toward success!

Keeping a record

Finally, keep a record of your yearly objectives with a timeline, benchmarks, and feedback for improvement. Keeping track of your progress makes you accountable especially if you share your goals with friends and family. You can change anything. If you really want something bad enough it is usually achievable with hard work, perseverance, and patience.

Create your 2026 goals to reflect your lifestyle and dreams and don’t ever give up!  

Staying Thankful Keeps You Healthy

Staying Thankful through major life changes—such as moving, changing careers, or facing health challenges—can be overwhelming. These transitions often bring uncertainty, fear, and disruption to our routines. Yet, how we respond to change plays a vital role in our overall health and well-being. Maintaining a positive attitude during these times isn’t just comforting—it’s a powerful tool. A tool that can protect both your mental and physical health.

The Power of Perspective

While we can’t always control what happens in life, we can control how we interpret and react to it. A positive mindset doesn’t mean ignoring pain or pretending everything is fine. Instead, it means choosing to face challenges with hope, openness, and the belief that you can grow through adversity.

Research shows that people with a positive outlook recover faster from setbacks, have lower levels of stress, and are more resilient. They’re more likely to find meaning in hardship and adapt in healthy ways. Even small shifts in thinking—focusing on what you can control, practicing gratitude, or seeing challenges as opportunities make a difference.

Health Benefits of Staying Positive

A positive attitude does more than lift your mood. It’s been linked to a variety of health benefits, including:

• Stronger immune function: Optimistic individuals tend to have better immune responses, helping them fight illness more effectively.

• Lower stress levels: Positivity reduces the effects of chronic stress, which can harm the body over time.

• Heart health: Studies show that positive thinking is associated with lower blood pressure and a reduced risk of heart disease.

• Improved mental health: A hopeful outlook can ease symptoms of depression and anxiety, and boost feelings of self-worth and motivation.

Taking Care of Yourself

Supporting your physical health during change is just as important. Regular exercise, nutritious food, and restful sleep give your body the strength it needs to handle emotional ups and downs. Equally important is seeking connection. For example, talking to friends, journaling, or asking for help when needed are great ways to cope.

Remember, it’s okay to feel unsettled during major life shifts. But by nurturing a positive attitude, you create space for healing, growth, and even joy in the face of change.

Life will always bring change, but your mindset can shape how that change affects you. Stay hopeful, stay kind to yourself, and take care of your health, inside and out. 

Comforting and Uplifting Fiction

Here’s a list of fiction titles that support well-being by offering emotional comfort, inspiration, perspective, or a calming escape. As a librarian, I would recommend them all depending upon what you like to read.  These books make great gifts too.

These books are heartwarming, gentle, and affirming—perfect for lifting your mood.

1. The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune

2. Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

3. A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman

4. The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion

5. Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand by Helen Simonson

Emotionally Insightful and Empathetic Reads

These novels deepen your emotional intelligence and help you better understand yourself and others.

6. The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

7. Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng

8. The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd

9. The Giver of Stars by Jojo Moyes

10. The Light Between Oceans by M.L. Stedman

Peaceful and Reflective Fiction

Perfect for calming the mind and nourishing the soul with quiet beauty.

11. The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry by Rachel Joyce

12. The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey

13. Gilead by Marilynne Robinson

14. Our Souls at Night by Kent Haruf

15. The Hen Who Dreamed She Could Fly by Sun-mi Hwang

Whimsical and Imaginative Escapes

Let your mind wander into enchanting, hopeful worlds that offer rest from real-life stress.

16. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

17. Piranesi by Susanna Clarke

18. Stardust by Neil Gaiman

19. The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow

20. The Keeper of Lost Things by Ruth Hogan

These books can ease anxiety, spark reflection, and create a sense of connection—all vital parts of well-being.

The Power of Organization

Organization brings clarity and peace. On the other, hand living in a cluttered space can feel overwhelming and chaotic. Disorganization often leads to stress, distraction, and decreased productivity. Research shows clutter increases cortisol, the stress hormone, especially in women. A disorganized home sends constant visual reminders of unfinished tasks. This creates mental fatigue and makes it harder to focus or relax.

A clean, decluttered space helps you think more clearly and feel more in control. Studies have shown that people with tidy homes tend to be healthier overall. They also sleep better and report lower levels of anxiety. Organization promotes better time management and smoother daily routines.

Every object in your home should have a purpose and place. When things are scattered, time is wasted looking for them. A tidy space reduces distractions and helps your brain focus on what matters. Even small organizational habits can produce big improvements in mood and energy.

Decluttering

Decluttering is not just about throwing things away, but a habit to develop. It’s about making space for what truly supports your life. Start by sorting items into categories: keep, donate, recycle, and discard. Work room by room, focusing on one area at a time. Celebrate small wins to stay motivated and consistent.

Clutter can also carry emotional weight. Items tied to guilt or nostalgia can create mental roadblocks. Letting go of unneeded things helps you emotionally detach and feel lighter. It clears mental space along with physical space. Your home becomes a sanctuary instead of a source of stress.

Living with Less

Minimalism doesn’t mean living with nothing—it means living with intention. When your space supports your values, you feel more aligned and peaceful. Organized homes also help children learn responsibility and reduce family tension. Everyone benefits from a system that’s easy to follow.

Routine maintenance is key to staying organized. Your goal should be to take 10 minutes daily to reset your space. Return items to their place and resist the urge to accumulate. Before buying something new, ask yourself if it adds real value. Mindful purchasing reduces clutter and saves money long term.

Lifestyle Shift

Decluttering isn’t a one-time project—it’s a lifestyle shift. It requires regular reflection on what you really need and use. Organized homes encourage more intentional living and healthier habits. You’re more likely to cook, exercise, or meditate in a clean, open space. It becomes easier to welcome guests without shame or stress.

A decluttered home reflects a decluttered mind. It’s easier to find joy in your environment and stay motivated. You gain time, energy, and peace from a well-ordered space. Your home should be a retreat, not a source of chaos.

Start small, stay consistent, and build momentum. Organization brings freedom, not restriction. It empowers you to live a more focused, purposeful life. Make space for the life you want to live—one room, one drawer at a time. 

Healthy Home Cooking: A Recipe for a Longer, Better Life

• Cooking at home allows control over ingredients and portion sizes.

• Homemade meals often include more vegetables and fewer processed foods.

• Eating less sugar, salt, and trans fats improves heart and brain health.

• Home-cooked meals reduce the risk of obesity, diabetes, and high blood pressure.

• Sharing meals with family strengthens emotional bonds and improves mental well-being.

• Cooking regularly builds healthy habits that last a lifetime.

• People who cook at home tend to live longer, research shows.

• Fresh ingredients provide more nutrients, boosting immunity and energy levels.

• Meal planning helps save money and reduces food waste.

• Home cooking encourages mindful eating and better digestion.

• Trying new recipes increases creativity and reduces stress.

• Kids who grow up with home meals make better food choices.

• Home kitchens create space for connection and lifelong wellness.

• Simple meals can be nutritious, delicious, and satisfying.

• Eating at home promotes balance and intentional living.

• Long life begins with small, healthy choices every day.

• Start cooking today for a healthier tomorrow.

Reading Fiction Books Is Good for Your Health

In a fast-paced world filled with stress, screens, and constant stimulation, reading fiction offers a powerful escape—and much more. Beyond entertainment, fiction has been shown to benefit mental, emotional, and even physical health in lasting ways. Picking up a novel might be one of the simplest, most enjoyable steps you can take for your well-being.

Reduces Stress and Promotes Relaxation

Reading fiction can quickly calm the mind. Studies show that reading for just six minutes can reduce stress levels by up to 60%, even more than listening to music or taking a walk. Immersing yourself in a story slows your breathing, lowers heart rate, and quiets anxious thoughts. The act of focusing on a narrative provides a break from daily worries and overthinking.

Strengthens Empathy

When you read fiction, especially character-driven stories, you step into someone else’s shoes. You experience their thoughts, struggles, and growth. This practice strengthens empathy and helps you understand others’ emotions and perspectives. Research has found that people who read literary fiction regularly score higher on tests measuring emotional intelligence and social awareness. These skills are essential for healthy relationships and emotional resilience.

Boosts Brain Function and Creativity

Fiction engages multiple parts of the brain—language processing, memory, imagination, and problem-solving. It also helps improve vocabulary, comprehension, and concentration. The mental imagery involved in following a plot or imagining a fictional world stimulates creativity. Unlike passive forms of entertainment, reading requires active mental participation, which helps keep the brain sharp and engaged over time.

Supports Mental Health

Fiction often explores universal human themes like love, loss, growth, and resilience. Reading about characters who face and overcome challenges can be comforting and inspiring, especially during tough times. Many people find that certain stories help them process their own emotions or see their experiences in a new light. Fiction can offer validation, hope, and a deeper understanding of the human condition.

Encourages Mindful Escape

Finally, reading fiction offers a healthy way to unplug. Unlike social media or television, reading requires your full attention, helping you stay present in the moment. This mindful escape can reduce burnout and provide much-needed balance in your daily routine.

Reading fiction is more than a hobby—it’s a wellness tool. From stress relief to emotional growth, a good book has the power to nourish your mind and spirit. So next time you need a break, pick up a novel—you’re doing your health a favor.

These stories provide comfort, warmth, and a gentle reminder of human kindness.

1. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer & Annie Barrows

2. Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

3. A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman

4. The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune

5. The Little Paris Bookshop by Nina George

Gardening Promotes Well-Being

Gardening plays a vital role in promoting physical and mental well-being. Engaging in gardening activities provides numerous health benefits, such as improved fitness and reduced stress. Digging, planting, and weeding are excellent forms of exercise, enhancing strength, flexibility, and endurance. 

Mental Health

Beyond physical benefits, gardening can significantly improve mental health. Spending time outdoors in nature has been shown to reduce anxiety and depression. The act of nurturing plants fosters a sense of accomplishment and purpose, enhancing overall emotional well-being.

Healthy Eating

Gardening also encourages healthy eating habits. Growing fruits and vegetables at home increases access to fresh produce, leading to improved nutrition. Homegrown food is often more flavorful, and free from harmful pesticides, making it a healthier choice.

Helps the Environment

Moreover, gardening fosters environmental awareness. It teaches individuals about ecosystems and the importance of biodiversity. By cultivating a garden, people can contribute to local wildlife habitats and promote sustainability.

Additionally, gardening can strengthen community bonds. Community gardens bring neighbors together, fostering relationships and collaboration.

Gardening is a multifaceted activity that benefits your health, nutrition, the environment, and communities. Its importance extends far beyond the beauty of plants and flowers. Gardens make a valuable contribution to the health and well-being to our society.  Go out and enjoy digging in the dirt! 

The Importance of Self-Care During Stressful Times

In our fast-paced world, stress has become an unavoidable part of life. Whether due to work, personal relationships, or unexpected life changes, stressful situations can often feel overwhelming. While it's impossible to avoid stress entirely, it is essential to manage it through relaxation and self-care. Prioritizing these practices during difficult times can significantly improve your physical health, mental clarity, and emotional well-being.

The Physical Impact of Stress

Stress has a tangible effect on the body. It can lead to various health issues such as headaches, muscle tension, digestive problems, and increased susceptibility to illness. Chronic stress can also raise the risk of more serious conditions like heart disease and high blood pressure. By incorporating regular relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing exercises, meditation, or yoga, you can help to lower your stress levels and protect your physical health.

Relaxation helps to trigger the body’s parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for the “rest and digest” response. This system helps reduce the effects of stress by slowing down your heart rate, lowering blood pressure, and promoting a feeling of calm. Taking even a few minutes each day to focus on relaxation can make a significant difference in how your body copes with stress.

Mental Clarity and Focus

Stress also clouds your mental clarity, making it difficult to think clearly or make decisions. When your mind is overwhelmed, tasks that would normally be simple can feel insurmountable. Relaxation helps clear mental clutter, allowing you to regain focus and approach challenges with a calmer, more rational mindset.

Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation or journaling, are effective tools for regaining mental clarity. These practices encourage you to stay present and focus on the moment, helping to alleviate the constant mental chatter that accompanies stress. A more relaxed mind is also more creative and better equipped to find solutions to the problems causing stress.

Emotional Well-Being

During stressful times, it’s easy to neglect self-care in favor of pushing through responsibilities. However, prioritizing your emotional health through self-care practices is essential. Self-care is not selfish; it’s a necessary part of managing stress and maintaining overall well-being.

Activities such as spending time outdoors, engaging in hobbies, or simply resting can provide emotional nourishment. It’s important to set aside time to do things that bring you joy and comfort. By doing so, you create moments of peace that can help balance the chaos around you.

Self-care also includes setting boundaries and learning to say no when necessary. Taking on too much can exacerbate stress, while healthy boundaries allow you to manage your responsibilities more effectively. By protecting your energy, you can avoid burnout and remain more resilient in the face of stress.


Relaxation and self-care are essential for managing stress. By prioritizing these practices, you can improve your physical health, enhance mental clarity, and nurture emotional well-being. In times of stress, giving yourself permission to rest and recharge is not just helpful, but necessary for long-term health and balance.

Relationships Are Important for Your Health

As we age, the significance of relationships becomes increasingly apparent. While youth often comes with an abundance of social interactions and casual connections, getting older tends to bring a deeper appreciation for meaningful relationships. These connections, whether with family, friends, or partners, play an essential role in maintaining emotional, mental, and even physical well-being.

Emotional Support and Resilience

One of the greatest benefits of maintaining relationships as you get older is the emotional support they provide. Life presents ongoing challenges—health issues, loss, and major life transitions can become more frequent. Having a solid network of friends or loved ones to lean on during these times provides much-needed comfort and resilience. Emotional support helps alleviate feelings of loneliness and isolation, which can significantly impact mental health. A strong support system fosters a sense of belonging and helps you navigate difficult moments with greater ease.

Mental and Cognitive Health

Relationships also contribute to mental sharpness and cognitive health. As we age, staying socially active can reduce the risk of cognitive decline. Regular interactions with friends and loved ones keep the mind engaged, offering stimulating conversations, new perspectives, and challenges. Whether it’s catching up over coffee, playing a game, or discussing a book, social engagements help maintain brain health and prevent feelings of stagnation or boredom.

 Physical Health and Longevity

There is growing evidence that strong relationships are linked to better physical health. Studies have shown that individuals with close connections tend to live longer and experience better health outcomes than those who are isolated. Companionship encourages healthier behaviors, such as exercising, eating well, and attending medical checkups. Friends and family members often provide gentle reminders to take care of ourselves, whether it’s a daily walk or a visit to the doctor.

The Value of Making New Connections

While maintaining existing relationships is crucial, making new connections as you get older is equally important. Life changes—such as retirement, moving, or the loss of loved ones—can reduce your social circle. Seeking new friendships or rekindling old ones can reinvigorate your social life. Joining clubs, engaging in community activities, or pursuing hobbies can introduce you to new people with shared interests.

As you age, relationships become one of the most important pillars of a happy, healthy life. Maintaining connections with friends and loved ones provides emotional support, improves cognitive function, and enhances overall well-being. Whether nurturing existing bonds or building new ones, staying socially connected is key to thriving in later life.

Your Heart Health

As you age, maintaining a healthy heart becomes increasingly important. Cardiovascular health is crucial to overall well-being, as the heart plays a central role in sustaining life. Your heart delivers oxygen and nutrients to every part of the body. With age, your risk for heart disease and related conditions like high blood pressure and stroke increases. This makes it essential to adopt heart-healthy habits right now. Prioritizing heart care and overall health can lead to a longer, more vibrant life.

Heart Health

Heart disease is the leading cause of death globally. But it is largely preventable through lifestyle choices. As you age, your arteries may stiffen, and plaque can build up in them, increasing your risk for conditions like atherosclerosis, heart attacks, and strokes. By taking proactive steps to care for your heart, you can significantly lower your risk for these issues. You will also improve your overall quality of life.

Regular Exercise

One of the most effective ways to care for your heart as you age is to stay physically active. Regular exercise helps strengthen the heart muscle, improves circulation, and helps maintain a healthy weight. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise, such as brisk walking, five days a week. Activities like swimming, cycling, and dancing are also excellent choices. Incorporating strength training exercises at least twice a week can help build muscle mass. This is important for maintaining metabolic health as you age.

Heart-Healthy Diet

Diet plays a significant role in heart health. A diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats can help protect the heart. This also reduces the risk of disease in your entire body. Foods like salmon, flaxseeds, nuts, and avocados are high in omega-3 fatty acids, which are beneficial for heart health. Limiting processed foods, sodium, and added sugars can also help prevent high blood pressure and cholesterol levels.  These factors are common contributors to heart disease.

Managing Stress

Chronic stress is harmful to the heart, leading to high blood pressure and increased risk of heart disease. As you age, it becomes even more important to manage stress through relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditation, and yoga. Engaging in hobbies, spending time with loved ones, and practicing mindfulness can help reduce stress. All these stress-reducers promote a healthier heart.

Regular Checkups

Regular medical checkups become increasingly important through the years. Monitoring your blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and blood sugar can help detect any early signs of heart issues. If needed, your doctor can recommend lifestyle changes or medications to help manage these risk factors.

Getting Enough Sleep

Sleep is vital to heart health. As you age, getting seven to eight hours of quality sleep each night becomes essential. Poor sleep can lead to heart-related issues, including high blood pressure and increased risk of heart attack.  Quality sleep is defined as no interruptions, like animals, snoring partners, or other factors waking you up at night.

Caring for your heart and staying healthy is a combination of regular exercise, a heart-healthy diet, stress management, and checkups. By making these lifestyle choices, you can reduce your risk of heart disease, enhance your quality of life, and enjoy a longer, healthier future. Prioritizing heart care is a gift to yourself that pays off with long-term health benefits. 

Expectations for 2025

With 2025 and a new year in front of us, we tend to reflect on past achievements, setbacks, and experiences. The transition from one year to the next presents a unique opportunity to redefine priorities and set clear expectations for the year ahead. In 2025, establishing personal and professional goals with concrete expectations can have a profound impact on success, motivation, and overall well-being.

Creating Clarity and Direction

Setting expectations provides a sense of clarity. Without a clear sense of where we want to go, it’s easy to become distracted or overwhelmed by the demands of daily life. In a fast-paced world where new opportunities and challenges arise constantly, defining what you expect from yourself and the year ahead helps to maintain focus. This clarity allows you to direct your energy toward meaningful endeavors rather than being swayed by distractions.

Accountability

When you set expectations for the year, you also build in a system of accountability. Expectations function as a form of self-contract, a commitment you make to yourself about what you aim to achieve. Whether your goals are related to career advancement, personal growth, or wellness, establishing these goals helps keep you accountable. Regularly checking in with these expectations can also serve as a powerful motivator, prompting you to reassess and adjust.

Managing Stress and Burnout

In a world that often prioritizes constant productivity, it’s easy to push yourself to extremes. However, unrealistic expectations can lead to stress and burnout. Setting balanced expectations that account for both ambition and personal well-being is crucial. For 2025, it’s important to not only set high aspirations but also to be mindful of your limits. This balanced approach helps maintain both mental and physical health, allowing you to avoid burnout and approach your goals sustainably.

Enhancing Personal Growth

Setting expectations is also a pathway to personal development. By clearly defining what you want to achieve, you give yourself the chance to grow in specific areas. Whether it’s developing a new skill, improving relationships, or achieving financial goals, having expectations pushes you out of your comfort zone. Growth doesn’t happen by accident—it’s the result of intentional effort and persistence. Both of these are supported by your well-defined expectations.

2025 offers a fresh start, and setting expectations is a powerful way to ensure that the year is filled with purpose, direction, and growth. By taking the time to reflect on your goals, you can create a roadmap for success that keeps you accountable and balanced throughout the year.

Holiday Habits

Holiday recipes will not be the same as the “recipes” I shared for the Thanksgiving holiday. These recipes are how to celebrate the holidays to bring you joy this year and next. Here are a few ideas to make this holiday season shine!

Work Reflection

Reflecting on the past year during this time brings great comfort and clarification of the past 11 to 12 months.  What work goals did you achieve?  What new goals for your career will you begin?  Think about the changes in your job and home life you had this year; was it beneficial? Out of your control?  This is the time to set your path on what you’ll be focusing on for 2025 in your career.

Relationships

Relationships, like life, are always changing. What relationships would you like to nurture next year or pull away from?  As you grow, your relationships will change with you as your boundaries grow and are defined.

When I was a mom with your kids, my circle of friends were other moms from our play group. As my children grew, my friendships changed too. Work relationships and my friends from the gym become my focus, as my kids gained their own circle of friends. Getting out there making new friends feels good and is healthy.

Health

Health and wellness are always important, so a recipe for success always starts with your self-care first.  Look at your nutrition, physical exercise, and mindset to create a path to wellness. Stress can be the biggest obstacle to positive mental and physical fitness. Your mind can make or break you, so meditation and taking time for yourself is important for a healthy outlook. A 15- minute walk after dinner or before you set off for work in the morning helps clear your mind.  

There is no tried and true path for a happy life, but there are “recipes” to help you learn, grow, and thrive every year. Taking this time during the holidays to re-evaluate habits in your life that need focus will help.  Life is about change, and I hope yours is positive and productive.

Ways to Save with Streaming Entertainment

Streaming entertainment, offers a lot of content at our fingertips. However, with so many streaming platforms available, finding the most economical way to enjoy your favorite movies and music can be challenging. Fortunately, there are several strategies you can use to make the most of your streaming experience without breaking the bank.

Bundle Services

Many streaming platforms offer bundle deals that allow you to access multiple types of content for a discounted price. For example, you might find a package that includes access to movies, TV shows, and music all in one subscription. By bundling services, you can enjoy a variety of content while saving money. This a huge savings compared to paying for each service separately.

Take Advantage of Free Trials

Most digital services offer free trials for new subscribers. These trials range from a few days to a month or more. Take advantage of these test periods to explore different services and determine which ones best suit your needs. Just be sure to cancel before the trial period ends. If you decide not to continue with a subscription, you will avoid being charged for a full month’s service.

Utilize Libraries

Many libraries offer digital lending services that allow you to borrow eBooks, audiobooks, movies, and music for free. You just need to sign up for your FREE library card to access the 1000’s of titles.  Additionally, subscription services like Kindle Unlimited or Audible offer unlimited access to a vast selection of eBooks and audiobooks for a monthly fee. This provides a cost-effective way to enjoy reading and listening to current and “Top 10” content.

Explore Free Streaming Platforms

There are numerous free streaming platforms that offer a wide range of movies, TV shows, music, and even books. These platforms may include ads or have a more limited selection compared to paid services. But, they can still provide plenty of entertainment options at no cost to you and your family.

Share Subscriptions

Consider sharing streaming subscriptions with family or friends to split the cost. Many streaming services allow multiple users to create profiles under a single account, making it easy to share access while minimizing expenses.

By employing these strategies, you can enjoy a diverse selection of movies, books, and music while staying within your budget. Whether you prefer the latest blockbuster films, best-selling novels, or chart-topping tunes, there's a cost-effective streaming solution out there.

It’s Not You – Book Recommendation

After reading Dr. Ramani Durvasula’s new book, “It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People,” I had to share. This book is life affirming if you need to understand why “bad things” happen to you and motivators of narcissists. Dr. Durvasula also provides extensive strategies for healing and dealing with these highly manipulative and vengeful people.

Who Are They? 

We don’t know why people act the way they do to hurt others. It’s a diagnosed personality disorder that is finally getting the attention it needs. The definition of a narcissistic goes beyond just wanting their way all the time or being powerful.  It’s about people you have in your life, that abuse and shift blame by gaslighting, manipulating, and lying without remorse.

“Nothing is ever their responsibility or their fault because for a narcissistic person to take responsibility or accept blame means having to accept that they are accountable and imperfect.”

There are varying levels of abusive behaviors outlined, some classified as “malignant narcissists.”

They malign people publicly, or harm their reputations. They are highly manipulative, transactional, and judge everyone based on how useful they are – whether for power, profits, pleasure, or validation. In the simplest framing, the malignant narcissist is a bully, mean and menacing…”

You will recognize the examples used in your own family or workplace relationships. You will also understand how often these behaviors happen and go unchecked in society. The focus is never really on the narcissistic, but more on the actions of the victims being abused.  Almost as if the victim has something wrong with them, despite the facts not adding up from narcissist’s manipulated account. 

 How Does It Happen?

If you are in an abusive relationship, the obvious answer is to leave. But it’s not always that simple. Dr. Durvasula provides examples where it’s just not possible to leave a job, marriage or other important relationship despite abuse. The victim talks themselves out of it, thinks THEY are the reason that these “bad things” are happening.

Victims routinely believe the manufactured and false narratives about what is taking place due to other silent and compliant people.  It boils down to trust. When those closest to you break that trust and know what’s really going on but do nothing, that’s your truth.

“In other words, narcissistic people make you feel small so they can feel safe.” 

These narcissists get something from their victims while “love bombing,” charming them, and prioritizing the relationship.  When the victim realizes what is actually going on and sets boundaries and reveals the truth, all hell breaks loose.

“Hell, really hath no fury like a narcissist scorned. Their vindictive behavior may range from spreading damaging workplace gossip” to other more harmful and life threating outcomes.

Be warned, that stalking and public humiliation of their victims is quite commonplace for these individuals. Their tactics escalate when their victims pull away or start understanding the truth about past events.

How to Protect Yourself

There are many strategies discussed in the book to combat DARVO, or the common methods narcissists use.  (That’s a very useful chapter.) You should also try to distance yourself spiritually or physically from your abuser(s.) If you must stay in a relationship for work or family reasons, sound strategies are provided. These will help you heal and learn to deal with these negative people. As the author states, you will be better informed the next time you come across these individuals. And you most definitely will!

The healing that takes place when you know you’re not the crazy one is incredible. Narcissist behaviors happen daily to so many of us, but now you have a voice…an authentic voice.

Pacific Northwest Gardening

Nestled between the rugged Pacific coastline and the majestic peaks of the Cascade and Olympic mountain ranges, lies the Pacific Northwest United States. This unique landscape boasts a unique climate for gardening. From vibrant floral displays to bountiful vegetable harvests, gardening in the Northwest offers a wealth of advantages. So, if you’re a seasoned gardener or a novice plant lover read on for the best green thumb tips.

Mild Climate

One of the primary advantages of gardening in the Northwest is the region's mild, temperate climate, unlike my desert zone.  With its maritime influence and abundant rainfall, the Northwest enjoys relatively mild winters and cool, wet summers. This is a perfect combination for growing a wide variety of plants and flowers. From lush ferns and rhododendrons to towering Douglas Firs and majestic cedar trees, the Northwest's flora thrives in its mild climate. A seasonal calendar for creating a blank canvas for gardeners to explore and enjoy.

Rich Soil

In addition to its favorable climate, the Northwest's fertile soil and abundant natural resources provide an ideal foundation for gardening. The region's volcanic soils are rich in nutrients and minerals. A combination well-suited for growing a wide range of fruits, vegetables, and plants. Whether you're planting a backyard vegetable garden, or designing a flower bed, the Northwest's rich soil provides a perfect setting.

Water and Air Quality

Gardening in the Northwest offers numerous environmental benefits. This includes improved air and water quality, habitat restoration, and biodiversity conservation. By incorporating native plants into your garden design, you can create wildlife-friendly habitats that support pollinators, birds, and native species. Additionally, using organic gardening practices such as composting, mulching, and water conservation helps reduce your environmental footprint. Organic methods promote a healthy, sustainable garden ecosystem which is encouraged locally.

Health and Wellness

Beyond its environmental benefits, gardening provides a host of health and wellness advantages for gardeners of all ages. Spending time outdoors in nature has been shown to reduce stress, improve mood, and boost overall well-being. Gardening offers a therapeutic escape from the hustle and bustle of modern life. Whether you're digging in the dirt, planting seeds, or simply enjoying the sights of your garden, it’s a good feeling!

Gardening allows people to connect with their communities and share their passion for plants with others. From neighborhood garden clubs to farmers' markets and plant swaps, the Northwest's vibrant gardening culture provides many opportunities to connect. Check out the Edmonds Farmers Market on Saturdays, to get that community feeling of collaboration and learn from other gardeners.

Gardening in the Northwest United States offers a wealth of advantages for gardeners of all skill levels. Gardening in the Northwest provides a rewarding and enriching experience for those who embrace its beauty and abundance. So, whether you're a seasoned gardener or a budding enthusiast, roll up your sleeves, grab your trowel, and get ready to dig into the joys of gardening!

Caring for Your Parents

**This article was originally published on Medium and in my website's "Family" tab.  A reminder to continue to be flexible in your own life goals to assist your family's ever changing needs...which can be quite challenging.

As our parents age, the question of when to transition them into assisted living becomes a delicate, personal decision. This choice is often intertwined with emotions, practical considerations, and the desire to ensure the well-being of aging parents. Here are three important factors to consider when caring for your parents and making this decision.

Assessing Health and Safety Needs

The primary concern in determining the need for assisted living is the health and safety of aging parents. Evaluate their ability to perform daily activities independently, such as bathing, dressing, and managing medications. If there are signs of declining health, increased frailty, or a higher risk of accidents, assisted living may provide the answer.

Look for indicators such as frequent falls, forgetfulness, or difficulties managing household tasks. Engage in open communication with healthcare professionals to gain insights into your parents' current and potential future needs. Assessing their physical and mental well-being serves as a foundation for making an informed decision about the level of care.

Social and Emotional Well-being

Isolation and loneliness can significantly impact the overall well-being of seniors. I know first-hand, how a lonely parent’s health can decline rapidly. If your parents are experiencing a lack of social interaction, assisted living communities can offer a supportive environment for engagement. Consider the emotional aspects of their current living situation, and evaluate whether assisted living will be a more socially connected lifestyle.

Family dynamics also play a role in this decision. Assess the availability of family members to provide support.  Recognizing that the emotional well-being of both aging parents and their caregivers is important and impacts the entire family.

Financial Impact

The financial impact of assisted living is a huge consideration. Explore the costs associated with various assisted living options. You must factor in services, amenities, and potential future healthcare needs. Consult with financial advisors to understand the long-term implications and available resources.  You don’t realize how expensive adult care facilities are especially as the level of care rises through the years.

Additionally, assess the practicality of managing the current living situation. If the maintenance of a home becomes challenging, assisted living may offer a more practical solution. Balancing financial concerns with practical daily needs is essential for making a well-rounded decision.

Difficult Nature of the Decision

Deciding when to transition aging parents into assisted living is one of the most challenging decisions a family can face. It requires careful consideration of individual needs, family dynamics, and the emotional well-being of everyone involved. Recognize that this decision is deeply personal, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Open communication, empathy, and involving your parents in the decision-making process can help navigate the difficulties.  This ensures that the chosen path supports their wishes and quality of life.

The decision to move aging parents into assisted living is complex and demands thoughtful consideration. By prioritizing health, social and emotional well-being, financial considerations, families can work together. As adult children, you must make choices that prioritize their support, recognizing that the well-being of both parents. It’s not easy, but it’s a fact of life as we all age.

Downsizing Your Home

Starting on the journey of downsizing your home involves a thoughtful process of simplification, organization, and evaluation of your possessions. Whether motivated by a desire for a simpler lifestyle, financial considerations, or a change in priorities, downsizing can be a positive experience with planning and the right mindset.

Your Priorities

The first step in downsizing is determining your needs and priorities. What aspects of your current lifestyle are essential, and what can be discarded? Consider the function of your current space and identify elements that align with your lifestyle goals for the future. This reflective phase sets the foundation for a more intentional and streamlined living space.

Decluttering with Purpose

Downsizing involves decluttering, a process that goes beyond merely discarding items. It's an intentional decision about keeping items that hold sentimental value or serve a practical purpose. Begin with one room at a time, categorizing items into keep, donate, sell, or discard. This step not only lightens the physical load but also contributes to a decluttered mental space.

Space Optimization

A smaller home translates into strategic space optimization. Invest in multi-functional furniture to maximize utility without sacrificing style. Consider creative storage solutions, such as under-bed storage, wall-mounted shelves, or furniture with hidden compartments. The goal is to create an environment where every inch serves a purpose, creating an efficient and organized living space.

Moving

When the decluttering process is underway, start planning the details of the move. Whether hiring professional movers or opting for a DIY approach, create a timeline that includes packing, transportation, and unpacking. Label boxes clearly, emphasizing essential items for immediate use. Downsizing offers an opportunity to reassess furniture needs, potentially selling or donating pieces that won't fit in the new space.

Positive Mindset

Downsizing is not merely a reduction in physical space but a conscious shift in mindset. Embrace the positives of a smaller home, focusing on the benefits of simplified living, reduced maintenance, and potentially lower expenses. Cultivate an optimistic outlook throughout the process, emphasizing the new opportunities and freedoms that downsizing can bring.

Settling into a Smaller Space

Once the move is complete, allow time for adjustment. Experiment with furniture arrangements and unpacking your essentials to find the most functional and visually pleasing setup. Embrace the sense of coziness and intimacy that often accompanies a smaller home, creating a space that feels welcoming.

Downsizing is a journey of intentional living. Each decision contributes to a more streamlined and fulfilling lifestyle. By assessing needs, decluttering with purpose, optimizing space, and maintaining a positive mindset you’re halfway there. The process becomes an opportunity for growth, simplicity, and a newfound appreciation for the essentials in life.

Vision Boards Are Made for Success

What is a vision board? How can they help you create and achieve your goals this year? Read on for 3 simple steps to make a vision board and have your dreams come true this year.

Visualize Goals

First you need to visualize your goals or what you want out of 2024. Whether it’s a new job, relationship, or home, create a picture in your mind of exactly what that looks like. Remember little details to truly create a vision in your mind’s eye of how achieving your goal would feel.

Next, have at least 3-5 big ideas for the new year. Write down the words that describe those successes and don’t hold back.  Words that come to mind can be fearless, courage, abundance, joy, self-care, so use your imagination.

Illustrate Your Big Ideas

I’m not an artist, so illustrating for me may be different for you. I like to use Pinterest as a very easy way to capture my thoughts and inspiration. Studies have proven if you can visualize your goals, you will increase your chances of achieving them. Digital photos, drawings, doodles, anything that brings your big idea to mind is an “illustration” for your board.

I tend to create simple drawings and also attach photos for inspiration on my vision board. Whatever is easiest, illustrate your ideas so you have a roadmap to your action steps.

Map Out Steps

Mapping out specific actions, no matter how small, for each goal is your next step.  For example, if you want to learn Spanish by the end of year, your actions might resemble:

1.     Check out free language resources at the library

2.     Research local teachers or community organizations for classes

3.     Block off time on my weekly calendar for lessons/practice

4.     Book my trip to Mexico for the summer or in 2025

5.     Continue conversational Spanish with my neighbor two nights a week

When goals are written down, visualized and acted on, they are more easily achieved. The vision board for this big idea might include Yucatan travel photos or common conversational phases. Having a goal that is broken down and committed on your calendar is also more likely to be completed by your timeline. This is only one big idea example, so think of more and don’t limit yourself.

The most difficult part of a vision board is deciding what you want from 2024 with so many possibilities today. Don’t limit yourself, and make this new year, a year to remember and celebrate.  Here’s to a happy and healthy year for you and your family and friends!

Heart Health is Important

Prioritizing heart health becomes increasingly important over time for a fulfilling and energetic life. Adopting lifestyle choices that support cardiovascular well-being can contribute to a healthier and more active aging process. Here are simple tips to stay heart-healthy as you navigate this new year.

Heart-Healthy Diet

Nutrition plays a pivotal role in maintaining heart health, especially as we age. Embrace a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats. Choose nutrient-dense foods that provide essential vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants. Minimize salt intake to support healthy blood pressure levels. Consider the Mediterranean diet, known for its heart-protective qualities, emphasizing olive oil, fish, nuts, and plenty of plant-based foods. Consulting with healthcare professionals or a registered dietitian can help your dietary choices based on your health needs and preferences.

Exercise

Engaging in regular physical activity is a cornerstone of heart health, regardless of age. Aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise per week, incorporating activities that elevate your heart rate. Walking, swimming, cycling, and low-impact aerobics are excellent choices.

Additionally, include strength training exercises to maintain muscle mass, supporting overall cardiovascular fitness. Consult with a healthcare provider before starting a new exercise regimen, especially if you have pre-existing health conditions.

Manage Stress

This is difficult for most of us, but stress management is integral to heart health. Chronic stress can contribute to high blood pressure and other cardiovascular issues. Incorporate stress-reducing activities into your routine, such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, yoga, or spending time in nature. Cultivate hobbies that bring you joy and relaxation, providing a healthy outlet for stress. Prioritizing mental well-being contributes not only to heart health but also to overall quality of life.

Regular Health Check-ups

Regular health check-ups and monitoring are necessary components of heart health maintenance. Schedule routine visits with your healthcare provider to assess blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and overall cardiovascular health. Early detection of potential issues allows for proactive interventions and lifestyle adjustments. Stay informed about your health metrics and collaborate with your doctor to create a personalized plan for heart wellness.

Stay Hydrated

Maintaining proper hydration is often overlooked but is crucial for heart health. Ensure an adequate water intake to support overall bodily functions. Additionally, limit alcohol consumption, as excessive alcohol can contribute to high blood pressure and other cardiovascular concerns. When alcohol is interfering with family, friends, or your job it’s time to rethink your drinking and seek help.

Staying heart-healthy involves a holistic approach encompassing dietary choices, regular exercise, stress management, and proactive health monitoring. Adopting heart-protective habits enhances the quality of life, allowing you to age gracefully while prioritizing cardiovascular well-being. Remember, consulting with healthcare professionals and making gradual changes, helps a heart-healthy lifestyle and supports a fulfilling and vibrant life.  

Originally published on my Elephant Journal.com site.

New Self-Care Focus for 2024

As we start a new year, it's  a perfect time for reflection and renewal. While resolutions abound, certain overarching themes can guide us towards a more fulfilling and purposeful journey in the coming months. Here are three vital themes to remember for the new year.

Mindful Well-Being in 2024

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it's easy to neglect our well-being. As we step into the new year, it's crucial to prioritize self-care and cultivate a mindful approach to health. This includes not only physical wellness but also mental and emotional balance.

Consider incorporating practices such as meditation, regular exercise, and adequate sleep into your routine. These small yet impactful habits can significantly contribute to overall well-being. In a world that often glorifies busyness, valuing moments of rest and self-reflection becomes a cornerstone for a healthier, more resilient you.

Embracing Learning and Resilience

The new year offers a blank slate for personal and professional growth. Embracing a growth mindset involves seeing challenges as opportunities for learning and viewing failures as stepping stones toward success. This approach not only fosters resilience but also fuels a continuous desire for improvement.

Set achievable goals that push your boundaries, both personally and professionally. Whether it's acquiring a new skill, pursuing further education, or taking on challenging projects, the growth mindset propels you forward. This also fosters a sense of accomplishment and adaptability during unforeseen challenges.

In a rapidly evolving world, the ability to embrace change and learn from experiences is a powerful asset. Cultivating a growth mindset ensures that every encounter contributes to your journey of becoming the best version of yourself. Whether that personal experience is positive or negative, you grow from it.

Nurturing Relationships

In the digital age, genuine connections and meaningful relationships hold incomparable value. As we navigate the new year, prioritize the nurturing of both existing and new connections. Whether it's strengthening family bonds, fostering friendships, or building professional networks, investing time and energy in relationships enriches our lives.

Take a proactive approach to communication, be present in your interactions, and seek out opportunities for collaboration and shared experiences. These connections not only provide emotional support but also contribute to a sense of belonging and purpose. In a world that can sometimes feel isolated, the power of genuine human connections is a beacon of light. A light guiding us through the challenges and joys of life to be happier.

As we embark on 2024, let mindfulness, growth, and connection be our guiding lights. Prioritizing well-being, adopting a growth mindset, and nurturing relationships pave the way for a year of purpose, resilience, and fulfillment. Here's to embracing the opportunities that 2024 brings and creating a meaningful tapestry of experiences and growth.

Happy New Year! 

Originally published on Elephant Journal 

Why We Love Taylor and Travis    December 2023

In the vast landscape of popular culture, certain figures captivate our attention and hold our fascination. Two who seem to effortlessly command the spotlight are Taylor Swift, the iconic singer-songwriter, and Travis Kelce, the NFL player. What is it about these two seemingly contrasting personalities that ignites our collective obsession?

Taylor Swift: The Evolution of Empowerment

Taylor Swift's journey from country sweetheart to pop sensation has been nothing short of a cultural phenomenon. Swift's ability to authentically narrate her personal experiences through music has created an intimate connection with her audience. From teenage love anthems to mature reflections on heartbreak and self-discovery, Swift's discography resonates across generations.

Her openness about relationships, friendships, and the challenges of fame endears her to fans. She makes them feel like they're on a journey of self-discovery alongside her.

Additionally, Swift's skilled use of social media invites fans into her world, fostering a sense of community. Her engagement with fans, candid posts, and witty interactions contribute to the perception that she is not just a megastar.  She is also a relatable individual navigating life's ups and downs.

Travis Kelce: Beyond the Gridiron

Travis Kelce, known for his exceptional skills on the football field, has transcended the confines of his profession. Beyond his athletic expertise, Kelce's magnetic personality has made him a favorite in and out of the sports arena. The tight end's charisma, evident in his touchdown celebrations and post-game interviews, sets him apart. Kelce's authenticity shines through, showcasing a genuine and approachable side of professional athletes often overlooked by the public.

Kelce's involvement in philanthropy and community outreach further cements his status as a well-rounded and socially conscious figure. Fans are drawn to his genuine passion for making a positive impact off the field. He creates a deeper connection beyond his achievements in football.

Art Meets Athletics

The convergence of Taylor Swift's musical prowess and Travis Kelce's athletic excellence may seem unexpected. However, it underscores a broader truth: our fascination often lies at the crossroads of diverse talents. Swift and Kelce represent more than their respective crafts; they embody resilience, authenticity, and the pursuit of excellence in their chosen fields.

In essence, our obsession with Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce is not merely about their talent; it's a celebration of their humanity. Through vulnerability, relatability, and a commitment to authenticity, these icons become mirrors reflecting our own desires, struggles, and triumphs. In a social media age of curated personas, the genuine nature of Swift and Kelce becomes our beacon. They are guiding our fascination and deepening our connection to their stories with our own. 

Setting Healthy Boundaries  November 2023

In our fast-paced and demanding world, self-care and setting healthy boundaries is essential. This practice sets you up for maintaining a happy and joyful life. Establishing boundaries allows us to prioritize our well-being, protect our energy, and create space for self-nurturing activities. By cultivating healthy boundaries, we can enhance our overall quality of life and cultivate a sense of inner peace.

Personal Limits

One fundamental aspect of self-care is recognizing and honoring our personal limits. This involves acknowledging our physical, emotional, and mental capacities and understanding when to say no. It is crucial to listen to our bodies and minds and respond with kindness and compassion. By setting boundaries around our time and energy, we create the opportunity to engage in activities that replenish us.

Whether it's taking a restorative break, engaging in a hobby, or spending time with loved ones, you need it.  Prioritizing our needs and well-being is not selfish but rather a prerequisite for living a fulfilling and joyful life.

Communication

Communication plays a vital role in establishing healthy boundaries. Clearly and assertively expressing our needs and limitations allows others to understand and respect our boundaries. It is essential to practice effective communication by expressing ourselves honestly.  You also need to be open to listening to the needs of others as well.

By setting clear expectations and boundaries in our relationships, we foster healthier dynamics and promote mutual understanding and respect. Effective communication also helps us navigate any unforeseeable conflicts. This ensures that our boundaries are upheld and our well-being is also prioritized.

Recognizing Energy Drains

Maintaining healthy boundaries also involves recognizing and managing emotional and energetic drains. It is crucial to identify relationships or situations that consistently deplete our energy and create emotional distress. Setting boundaries allows us to protect our emotional well-being and invest energy in relationships and activities that bring us joy.

This may involve creating distance from toxic relationships, limiting exposure to negative influences, seeking support from trusted friends or professionals. For example, I had a job that was truly unhealthy and leaving was the best thing that happened to me.

Foster Positive Relationships

Self-care and healthy boundaries are not about isolation but rather about fostering relationships that align with our values and needs. It is about surrounding ourselves with people who uplift and support us, and engaging in activities that nourish our souls. By nurturing ourselves and setting healthy boundaries, we create the energy to show up fully in relationships, work, and personal pursuits.

It enables us to be more present, engaged, and authentic in all aspects of our lives. Setting boundaries fosters a deeper sense of fulfillment and joy.

Embracing healthy boundaries and practicing self-care are essential components of a happy, joyful life. Be sure to prioritize your well-being, communicate needs, and manage emotional drains you experience.  We all create a foundation for personal growth, contentment, and vibrant relationships when boundaries are respected.

Remember, setting boundaries is an act of self-love and respect. It is empowering all of us to live authentically, cultivate joy, and thrive in all areas of our lives. Live well and enjoy!

Self-Care and Meditation   October 2023

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it's easy to get caught up in demands and responsibilities surrounding us. As I've journeyed through my own life experiences, I've come to realize the importance of self-care and the power of meditation. Taking the time to prioritize my well-being and cultivating a regular meditation practice has been nothing short of life-changing. Here are some insights I'd like to share with you about embracing self-care and the art of meditation.

Self-Care

First, self-care is about acknowledging and honoring your own needs. It's not selfish; it's an act of self-love and preservation. Begin by carving out dedicated time for self-care activities that resonate with you. It could be as simple as taking a warm bath, reading a good book, or taking a walk in nature. Whatever it may be, the key is to make it a regular practice. This ensures it becomes a non-negotiable part of your daily routine.

Meditation

Meditation is an incredible tool for finding stillness amidst the chaos and noise of the outside world. It doesn't have to be complicated or time-consuming. Start by setting aside just a few minutes each day to sit quietly, focusing on your breath. Allow yourself to observe your thoughts without judgment, letting them come and go like passing clouds. Gradually increase the duration of your practice as you feel comfortable. Through regular meditation, you'll experience a profound sense of calm, clarity, and inner peace.

Physical Well-Being

One aspect of self-care that often gets overlooked is nurturing your physical body. Engaging in activities that promote physical well-being is an integral part of self-care. Whether it's practicing yoga, going for a run, or dancing to your favorite music. You need to find an exercise routine that brings you joy and makes you feel alive.

Additionally, pay attention to your nutritional needs. Fuel your body with nourishing foods that provide energy and support overall health. Remember to stay hydrated, get enough sleep, and listen to what your body is telling you it needs.

Connections

Another powerful self-care practice is cultivating meaningful connections and setting healthy boundaries. Surround yourself with individuals who uplift and inspire you, and who truly care about your well-being. Learn to say no when necessary and honor your own limits. Setting boundaries allows you to preserve your energy and protect your mental and emotional health. Prioritize activities and relationships that bring you joy and fulfillment. Also, remember to gracefully let go of those people that no longer serve your growth and happiness.

I've discovered that self-care and meditation are not merely acts of indulgence but components of a fulfilling and balanced life. They provide the foundation for personal growth, inner peace, and resilience in the face of life's challenges. Embracing self-care and making space for meditation allows us to tap into our true selves. It nurtures our mind, body, and soul, to live authentically happy lives.

So, I invite you to embark on this beautiful journey of self-care and meditation. Start small, be gentle with yourself, and be open to the transformation that awaits. Prioritize your well-being, and watch as your inner light shines brighter, radiating love, peace, and harmony into the world. Remember, you deserve every moment of self-care and the deep nourishment it brings

Solo Health Retreats  August 2023 

Going on a health retreat by yourself can be a great way to take some time for yourself. You can focus on your physical and mental well-being. However, it's important to do your research and choose a retreat that meets your specific needs and goals. Here are some things to look for when going on a health retreat solo.

The program

Make sure that the retreat offers a program that aligns with your goals. If you're looking to lose weight, a retreat that focuses on yoga and meditation may not be the best fit. Also, if you're looking to detox and cleanse your body, a retreat that focuses on clean eating is a better fit.

Location

The location of the retreat can have a big impact on your overall experience. If you're looking for a peaceful and secluded retreat, consider a remote location. A location that is far from the hustle and bustle of daily life is a good match.  If you're looking for a more active retreat, consider a location offering outdoor activities such as hiking, biking, or swimming.

The staff

The staff at the retreat can make or break your experience. Look for a program that has experienced and qualified staff who are dedicated to helping you achieve your goals. Read reviews and testimonials from past guests. These will give you an idea of the level of care and attention you can expect from the staff.

Accommodations

The accommodations at the retreat can affect your overall experience. Look for a retreat that offers comfortable and clean rooms that will help you feel relaxed and rejuvenated. Consider the type of space that best suits your needs, such as a private suite or a shared room.

Your Budget

Look for a program that fits your budget. Retreats can vary widely in price, so it's important to find one that meets your financial needs. Keep in mind that a higher cost doesn't always guarantee a better experience. Do your research…always!

Length of Your Stay

Look for a schedule that offers the length of stay that best fits your individual needs. Some retreats offer a day, a weekend or a week-long program.  Consider the success (and joy) you’ve had on similar trips. You are the best judge to know your limits, so don’t push it.

Finally, look for a retreat that offers follow-up care, such as coaching or support groups. This is to help you maintain the progress you make during the retreat. Sustainable habits will last a lifetime and so will your memories.

Remember, taking care of yourself is a lifelong commitment. Your first health retreat can be an excellent step towards that goal.

Beach Reads    July 2023

As summer ramps up and vacation calls, it's the perfect time to read a good book while lounging beachside. As a librarian, here a few “beach read” recommendations sure to please any reader.  Each title promises to transport you to different worlds and capture the heart of this summer season.

Strong Women

Dive into a story of love, self-discovery, and sandy shores with "The Summer of Lost and Found" by Mary Alice Monroe. The story is set in the enchanting coastal town of fictional Sullivan's Island. This novel brings together the lives of three generations of women as they navigate their personal journeys. With vivid descriptions of the beach and an exploration of family dynamics, this book is a perfect beach read. For those seeking an emotional and touching summer read about family, chose this story.

Thriller

If you're craving a suspenseful thriller, "The Woman in the Window" by A.J. Finn is sure to keep you riveted. Set in the bustling city of New York during a hot summer, this psychological thriller follows an agoraphobic woman. (She’s deathly afraid of going outside of her home.)  She believes she witnesses a disturbing event in her neighbor's house. As secrets unravel and tensions rise, the story will keep you on the edge of your seat, turning the pages. 

Hollywood Glitz

If you want a blend of romance, history, and exotic settings, "The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo" is for you.  By Taylor Jenkins Reid (author of Daisy Jones & the Six) this book is a must-read! A captivating novel taking readers on a journey through the glamorous and wild life of Evelyn Hugo a fictional moviestar. With its rich character development and fascinating narrative, this book brings you into the world of Hollywood and forbidden love.

Self-Discovery

If you're in the mood for a light-hearted and delightful summer read, "Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine" by Gail Honeyman is an excellent choice. Meet Eleanor, a socially awkward woman with a strictly structured life. Join her on a heartwarming journey of self-discovery and unexpected connections. This uplifting novel explores themes of loneliness, friendship, and the transformative power of compassion. This book makes a perfect companion for lazy days by the seaside.

No matter which book you choose for your summer adventures, find one that speaks to you. A book’s well-crafted story has the power to transport you to far-off places, stir your emotions, and leave lasting impressions.

So, grab your beach towel, slather on some sunscreen, and lose yourself in the pages of an enthralling summer read. Whether it's a tale of romance, mystery, or self-discovery, these book recommendations are sure to boost your beachside bliss. Make your summer even more memorable and check out a book today from your local library! 

Desert Gardening   June 2023

I garden to relax and unwind, but I also live in Arizona. Planting a vegetable garden in a desert zone 9B can be intimidating. The hot, dry climate can present unique challenges for growing vegetables. With some planning and preparation, a bountiful harvest is possible in a few months. 

Garden Location

The first step in planting a desert vegetable garden is to choose the right location. Look for a spot that receives at least six hours of direct sunlight each day. The soil must be well-draining and not too clay-like. If your soil is heavy or clay-like, consider adding compost or other organic matter to improve drainage and fertility.

Best Vegetable Type

Next, choose vegetables that are well-suited to the dry climate. Some good plating options include tomatoes, peppers, eggplant, squash, beans, and okra. These vegetables thrive in hot, dry weather and are relatively low-maintenance.

When planting your vegetables, be sure to space them out properly to allow for adequate air flow and sunlight. This can help prevent disease and promote healthy growth. Additionally, consider using mulch to help retain moisture in the soil and prevent weed growth.

Watering

Watering is one of the biggest challenges when it comes to gardening in a desert climate. To conserve water and promote healthy growth, consider using a drip irrigation system. This will allow you to water your plants directly at the root zone, minimizing evaporation and runoff. You can also try using a soaker hose or watering by hand. However, be sure to water deeply and infrequently to encourage deep root growth.

Fertilize

In addition to watering, it's important to fertilize your plants regularly. In a dry climate, nutrients can be quickly depleted from the soil. Consider using organic fertilizers or compost to provide a slow-release source of nutrients. I use Arizona’s Best which is a solid multi-purpose fertilizer available at garden centers.

Pests

Finally, be prepared to deal with pests and diseases. Common pests in a desert garden include aphids, whiteflies, and spider mites. Consider using natural pest control methods. These include ways to naturally deter common pests, like companion planting or insecticidal soap, to keep these pests at bay. If you do notice signs of disease or infestation, be sure to act quickly to prevent the problem from spreading.

Planting a vegetable garden in zone 9B can be challenging. Be sure to check climate charts, against your seeds so they root during your season. Or you might need to use a green house or inside germination for your sprouts. 

With the right planning and preparation, it can be a very rewarding experience. Choose the right location, select well-suited vegetables, space them out properly, conserve water, fertilize regularly, and deal with pests regularly. With a little patience and persistence, you'll be enjoying a bountiful harvest of fresh, delicious vegetables all season long.

Travel Makes Brings Me Joy!  May 2023 

What brings you joy? What gets you up in the morning every day even when times are tough? Travel brings me joy, and here’s why it fills me with happiness every time, every trip.

New Experiences

As we get older you experience the highs and lows of life. As a wise soul once said, you can’t see the light without experiencing the darkness. You also find that one (or two) joys in life will fill you up, bring you light.  New experiences that bring me happiness, contentment, and joy involve traveling. I don’t have to travel far.  Learning about historic waterfalls in my neighborhood was a fun and enjoyable bike ride. I just love learning and planning out my new experiences, which a good part of that involves seeing new places.

Solo travel

Recently, I’ve started enjoying my travels solo. Discovering new destinations on my own, has given me the freedom to see more and do more. I won’t let the lack of a travel partner hold me back. I plan the trip on my own, and have the flexibility to enjoy the location I want to see. I’ve become a better navigator and risk taker, with solo travel too. Traveling gives me confidence to do even more in life. And now, I’m planning much longer trips in the future for summer and fall.  

Photography

Traveling bring me joy afterwards with the photos and memories I bring home. I’ve become a better photographer through practice and a lot of trial and error. Enjoying the images from my trips, allows me to relive those joyful experiences. Traveling feeds my photography hobby as well as and providing me great pleasure in discovering my next shot. Capturing landscapes during different seasons and my own flower garden photos to share, gives me another creative outlet.

Self-Reliance

Finally, planning and taking a trip on my own builds my self-reliance to do more and take more risks.  If you’re not growing, you’re not living. And I want to continue to grow, experience new countries and cultures and build new memories.

What will you be planning today?

The Good Life - Finding Happiness  March 2023

I just finished a new library book focused on happiness; The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness. Two doctors relate through short stories the simple ways to increase your happiness, based on an 80-year scientific Harvard study. Here are the simple, proven ways to find happiness in your life every day, which don't include traveling.

Increase Positive Relationships

It goes without saying, that when you feel good physically, you feel good mentally. You need to increase the frequency and quality of the positive relationships in your life to be happy.  It doesn’t have to be friends or family either that make you happy. The authors relate the positive interaction with a bus driver who makes your commute easier daily. Or how about the teacher who helps your child overcome learning obstacles, which helps you and your family. When you interact and connect with others that “lift you up,” your happiness increases.

Get Rid of Distractions

In addition, a distracted mind is unhealthy for your mental well-being and physical health. For example, have you ever worried so much about something that has never happened? You wasted time and energy for nothing. The authors suggest keep your focus by clearing your mind of past mistakes and future worries with meditation.

Meditation calms your heart rate, breathing, and allows your mind to focus on the present and to be in the moment. Being in nature helps with focus as does removing yourself from negative people. (An overlap from the first point made about increasing your quality relationships.) The authors remind us that the more you practice, the easier it becomes.

Social Media Engagement

Finally, the authors don’t dismiss social media, but rather supply the research to back up the positive engagement of online platforms. The 2020 pandemic is a perfect example of the damaging social isolation we all experienced. When we lack the social (in person) interaction with others it is damaging to our well-being. Studies have proven (in Norway) that when children engaged on social media they were happier. This versus just scrolling through and “liking” a post. Social engagement even online benefits your health and happiness for all ages.

Simple but proven ways to keep your mind and relationships healthy and active throughout your life. Finally, staying curious and continuing to learn is a simple way to be happy, no matter your age. Money does not make you happy, but being grateful does. The insights in Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz’s book showed me how happy I really am too!

When Does Healing End?   February 2023

If you’ve been hurt from a relationship breakup or sudden traumatic event, ever wonder when the healing ends?  When do you feel good about yourself and normal again?

Healing Process

Healing seems to be a fluid process of stops and starts. Whether it’s emotional healing from a break up or the physical setbacks we all have in life. The old adage, “Two steps forward, one step back” seems to apply in most cases when you’re healing.

What I mean by that, is everyone is different emotionally and physically. The degree of pain is felt differently when two people experience a similar loss or crisis. For example, a broken heart or the death of a loved one affect me differently than a close friend depending on the circumstances. That’s what makes healing so complex and difficult to understand. Recovery takes on so many facets of our lives. It’s hard to wrap your head around a true timeline to “feel normal again.”

Personal Journey

Some people never feel normal, and that’s okay. You need to understand that a traumatic event changed you, and you’ll learn to live with it moving forward. Some people’s outlook on life and relationships change forever. Some fall into the “victim pattern” of feeling helpless and out of control.

While others take on challenges no matter how tough and are determined to succeed no matter what. Healing is such a personal journey that only you can understand it, many times alone. The circumstances of your pain, while temporary or permanent, stay with you in some form.

Positive Influences

Positive influences do help the healing process for many who experience a crisis or unexpected trauma. Stories of “miraculous healing” or opportunities coming out of nowhere, seem to dominate positive thinkers. Does it help, seeing the “silver lining” in events in your life?  Could it hurt?  Some say positive thinkers live longer, happier lives no matter what life throws them.

I believe things do happen for a reason, even if we don’t realize them at the time. Healing is a part of life. Learning to cope with the positive and negative events in your life teaches you resilience and helps you heal. Stay strong and positive.

2023 New Years Resolutions  January 2023

With a new year right around the corner, will you consider your 2023 resolutions? Have you struggled in years past to make positive changes? You might need a new perspective to succeed with your New Year’s resolutions for 2023 and here’s how.

Habits take time

If you want to change a habit, don’t identify it as “good” or “bad.” Humans are creatures of habit and to change a habit you need to create another habit or routine instead. The Research supports motivating a habit change, such as losing weight, as fairly straight forward. Changing your routine to provide your body a different rewarding habit sounds simple but takes patience and time.

Another strategy is to visualize your successful habit change, so your new resolution becomes a matter of “practiced self-control.” The theory states that self-control, like muscle memory, becomes easier with practice. This works for me, but not everyone has a habit that can be changed with self-control and visualization.

Provide Physical Reminders

The first step in changing a bad habit according to The American Heart Association is recognizing what cues lead you to that pattern. Once you know what the trigger for overeating is for example, then replace that habit with a new positive habit.  You might consider taking a walk after lunch. Chewing gum after dinner or walking the dog, is a different cue to signal your need to stop eating.

You will need to continue this change in your routine to succeed in your resolution for at least 8-9 weeks. Two months is the approximate time it takes for the new habit to take hold in your mind.

You might see positive results, which further encourages your new habit.  This is also the reason why many resolutions falter in early February. People don’t give themselves enough time for the habit to take hold and create change in their behaviors.

Think About Lasting Results

Finally, you need to consider the long-term effects of your new habits and changes.  It took you more than a month to develop the habit you are resolving to change. Give yourself the grace and time to achieve and make that change.

A recent survey discovered 80% of people abandon their New Year’s resolution goals in February. You might want to gain the support of family or a colleague, so you are also accountable for lasting results.

Change is growth and very doable if you make the right decisions and change the habits holding you back.

Feeling Sad (Rather Than Glad) This Holiday Season?  December 2022

As I get older and wiser, I wonder why I sometimes feel a little sad during the holidays? I’ve come to understand why the holidays bring many different emotions and how to help myself feel better. Read on for tips if you are feeling a bit melancholy this holiday season.

Change is Hard

Change is hard for some, especially if your mind is processing a change as “negative” rather than more growth oriented.  For some, their parents are aging, and daily life is more difficult. Science has proven seniors tend to get depressed, especially during the holidays.   Being alone, memories of “what was,” and realizing past choices have affected their wellbeing play a part in mental health.

You need to continue to be active mentally as well as physically. Remaining fit with puzzles or games to keep your mental agility in tip top shape. Even a daily walk for 30 minutes has proven to keep your flexibility and mobility in best form. I am learning these two important lessons from my parents. Understanding what needs to be done now, for the future is a healthy start.

Traditions Equal Memories

The holidays are a time for family traditions, and some are not the same as time marches on. As your children grow up and have families of their own, new traditions also bring up memories of times past.

Making new traditions now with your family is the best way to feel happier and accept the new memories. Again, this might take a few years to work out your feelings of acceptance. Give yourself time and grace to make new memories and try out new holiday traditions that work for your family.

Patience

Lastly, we need to be patient and accept things will never be the same. The pandemic has changed many holiday activities we enjoyed in years past. My parents and kids are older, so priorities have also changed. Having patience to accept that we have our health and our love to keep us strong into 2023 keeps me grounded in a positive mindset. Remembering these should help make you happier and more accepting of changes.  

If I need a reminder, I’ll re-read this article and reflect on my blessings. Happy Holidays, and hope you enjoy new traditions and memories this year!

3 Meaningful Holiday Gifts  November 2022

Do you feel like gift giving and the holidays have taken on a whole new life of their own recently?  During October, I saw many Christmas displays full of gifts and decorations, but Halloween hadn’t even been celebrated! Here are three ways to make your holiday gifts more meaningful this year without buying stuff.

Give Experiences

Enjoying an experience with a dear friend, colleague, or your family is my first choice when thinking of gift giving. Something as simple as driving to a friend’s home and enjoying lunch together. Having a heartfelt conversation with your parents or a trusted colleague, seems so simple, but how often does it happen? Science has proven that personal connections with those we love and care about provides us health benefits. Friendships and positive relationships enrich our lives on many levels, so take advantage of the holidays to show you care.

Give Your Time

I’ve written about volunteering before and can’t stress enough what you receive when you volunteer. Donating time to your community is a service that keeps giving throughout the year.  I’ve donated my time to local art organizations and events. Having a common goal with these groups connects you to your community. I’ve donated to animal rescues in my father’s name, since we both love helping animals find their forever homes. Dad still talks about it being the best gift ever! Give your time to assist with a shelter’s website, an adoption event, or fundraise for larger projects and supplies.  The sky’s the limit, and you feel so good after volunteering!

No Gifts Rule

The final option is something I use with my husband and very close friends, and that is “no gifts please.” We just don’t exchange gifts, period. The “no gift rule” is something I’ve used during many anniversaries, birthdays, and Christmases. No gifts, just re-enforces the other two options highlighted earlier.  I love to give my time to these very special people and nonprofit agencies. These are “my tribe,” who have given me so much over the years. My gifts are the memories of a special meal together or reminiscing during a walk around the park. Time together to make new memories is our gift to one another.

You should try something new this year. You might be surprised how the pressure to the find the “perfect gift” has been lifted for both of you. If you bring up one of these gift ideas, you might spark a new tradition this holiday season. 

Fall Farm Stands Make a Fun Weekend   October 2022

Part of autumn is enjoying the cooler weather, changing leaves, and the new season for fresh produce.  Nothing says autumn like a weekend getaway to a local orchard to pick your own fruit or select that pumpkin for Halloween. Here are a few suggestions for city dwellers to enjoy the natural wonders of fall while learning about local farming.

Local Orchards

Check out local farm to table gardens and fruit orchards. Learn about free tours or fall festivals hosted by local farms over the weekends in November. Many local growers depend on city folks to increase exposure to not only how food is grown and delivered to the grocery store but also the work involved with running a successful farming operation. The land and resources might be scarce but urban farms thrive in many areas. Here’s one example in Wilcox, Arizona of an apple orchard and sustainable farm that has onsite apple picking for families. Be sure to plan your day on a weekend to take advantage of lunch on the farm and the pumpkin patch nearby.

Pumpkin Patches

If you still need to pick out your pumpkin for Halloween, check out local farms for pick-your-pumpkin weekends or special harvesting events. An Arizona farm in Dewey, Arizona which is an hour drive from Phoenix is open year-round and hosts special autumn activities. Kids would love the Corn Maze, hayrides, and pumpkin picking which lasts through October. Enjoy a leisurely Saturday enjoying the cool weather and homemade food in the County Store. Pick out that perfect pumpkin for your next Jack-O-Lantern and capture the memories. Check out the hours of operation to plan your perfect day.

Don’t limit yourself to the autumn season to visit local farms. Many parts of the country enjoy a mild winter and growing seasonal fruits and vegetables happen year-round. This gives you and your family a few ideas to check out on your next free Saturday or Sunday while providing a real-life farm experience on how our food supply operates. You also learn what it takes to bring your family fresh produce to your dinner table every night.  Enjoy your local farmers and be sure to check back every few weeks for other travel ideas for your family. Safe travels!

The post first appeared on Kathy Husser | Travel from Kathy Husser | Travel

Where to See the Fall Leaves  September 2022

If you’re like me, I love the cooler weather that autumn brings. A quick weekend trip to refocus and rejuvenate is a healthy stress reliever too.  Finding the changing leaves and other fall foliage is always a beautiful travel getaway, and you should plan now. Here are the best locations to see fall colors and the changing leaves near you. Be sure to enjoy those crisp, cool nights too!

Northeast United States

The most colorful spots to view the changing fall colors are listed on this map.  New England with its higher altitudes and much lower temperatures, compared to the rest of the United States, will bring out the reds, yellows, and oranges in the hillside landscapes. Why do the leaves change? The chlorophyll breaks down in trees  due to the cooler weather. The green color in a leaf fades to make way for the bright autumn colors like orange, red, and yellow.

Be sure to plan your getaway between September 20th and October 11th for the very best viewing of changing colors near you.   Remember, the leaves are at peak during early October and will vary by elevation and tree type. As you progress South, colors will be vibrant through mid-October.

State by State

A more comprehensive map by the Farmers’ Almanac encompasses all the states, for you to narrow down your travel plans. Even in my home state of Arizona, the trees change in the Northern part of the state near Sedona and Flagstaff. These higher elevations are prime locations to view fall colors not seen on the desert floor near Phoenix.

National Parks

Our National Parks are also a terrific way to sneak in a fall break vacation with the kids and enjoy the changing seasons. 15 of the top locations for fall foliage are in National Parks.  Roads and amenities are still easily accessible for the most part, during the September and October timeframe. Take advantage of less crowded accommodations and campsites this autumn and make your trip to see Mother Nature in action.  Happy Travels!

Follow my Medium site for more inspiration: KathyHusserTempe.com

Fostering a Growth Mindset    August 2022

The term “growth mindset” is a term leaders and entrepreneurs use to discuss learning, success, and a way toward achieving goals or fulfilling a lifelong dream like more travel. What is growth mindset and how can you improve it?

Flexible Thinking

The opposite of growth mindset is a fixed mindset. According to Gemma Leigh Roberts, life coach and psychologist, building mental agility and resilience is necessary to learn from life’s challenges. In other words, turning obstacles into learning opportunities, no matter how small, is growth mindset.  This flexible way of thinking and looking at life is a growth mindset.  Like any skill, growth mindset can be learned with practice.

This new perspective allows you to explore and test new ideas creating innovation and internal confidence to achieve just about anything. Whether it’s long-term goals in your career or life, the first step is being able to stretch your thinking. Knowing you can continue to develop skills, learn new ideas, and change your perspective. This will enable you to reach your potential and create cohesive teams as a leader or more well-rounded person. The first step is to develop a plan.

Develop a Plan and Practice

To cultivate your new mindset of growth and learning, you need to practice. Practice switching your perspective to take in new experiences and draw from those lessons. Being optimistic and taking risks to discover new concepts is crucial to adapting life-long learning behaviors.

To develop a personal mindset plan you will need to:

·      be flexible in your thinking

·      stretch your current abilities for achievable goals

·      establish objectives which are measurable toward those goals

·      ask for feedback along the way

Asking for feedback is so important to realize if real growth has happened, since as human beings, we have unconscious bias.

Clear and Measurable  

Being very clear in your objectives, making them quantifiable and detailed. This will provide a roadmap for your growth plan. If things don’t work out, then you must take those lessons and apply them to the next project or plan. The key to success for true evolution as a leader is taking those “disappointments” and learning from them.

Being truly resilient will lead you down a happier life path. Pivoting with the information learned is what makes us happier, healthier, and more successful the next time around. Our mindset really does matter every single day!

For more living well tips follow me on Elephant Journal: KathyHusserTempe.com

How to Be Happier  July 2022

Entering the third year of a pandemic has changed our lifestyles and habits. From remote work, online school and financially our lives have changed. Finding happiness and being happier in general have been more difficult for many people. Here are simple habits to increase your happiness no matter your situation.

Finding the Good

Harvard-trained phycologist Shawn Achor, has a viral TED Talk that simplifies this notion of finding the good. For 21 days, write to someone different in your life a positive email or text. It only takes two minutes and reinforces that happiness is around you. To reaffirm your happiness, write down three different things that made you happy that day and WHY. You need to perform the exercise for 21 days, and the experiences need to be different.

Both habits have proven to increase happiness levels across the board for people.

The Happiness Advantage

In addition, Achor’s bestselling book, The Happiness Advantage, goes into greater detail about why people were happier after these two easy habits. First, he explains that happiness is contagious and produces more happy people. Second, your happiness is your choice. Finally, you are more productive when you are a happier person, family member, or employee.

Positive Psychology

Finally, the positive psychology, involved with increasing happiness has had a great deal of research across many socioeconomic communities.  Showing gratitude, being mindful, and random acts of kindness have proven to increase happiness across demographics.  In addition, practicing self-care and seeking a healthy balance in your life all benefit your overall well-being.

Being kind to yourself and others truly is the easiest way to increase your happiness and those around you.

Furthermore, you might need to stretch your emotional intelligence muscles to succeed. A happier life is out there and the research proves it. Put the time in and try a new habit for 21 days and see what happens!  Being happier is easier than you think even in a "post-pandemic-ish" world. 

For more feel good articles check out my journal at: KathyHusserTempe.com