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Jeff “Gordon” Meisenzahl came from humble beginnings, born a mere 30 minutes outside Monaco. Monaco, California. From a young age he was always obsessed with speed. It started with rollerblading down the sick ramp he built when he was 6. But soon he was taping bottle rockets on the side of his skateboard, or tying his bike to the back of a car. His thirst for speed just couldn’t be satisfied. His greatest accolade is not having yet died in a violent confrontation with pure velocity. And this propelled him quickly to the top of the amateur driver’s championship at Monaco…..the Monaco, California Family Fun Center go kart track.
After 2 decades at the top, tragedy struck. In the winter of 2010 he caught his lip as he was barreling down a mountain in the North Cascades on his shred-stick. The shock sent him end over end in what the locals would term as a “garage sale”. (This term actually originated in the German Alps in the 1200’s, by an ancient order of Gregorian monks, and has a literal translation of “your shit be everywhere, bruh”.) This accident left Jeff with permanent left thumb impairment and a scarred psyche. On the eve of his 30th birthday, years after his first brush with death, he decided to face his demons, and attempted the dreaded Red Door Slide. The events are too graphic to describe, but that night the gods were cruel enough to strip from Jeff the thumb functionality of his right hand. When asked how he was feeling after basically being reduced to a mere animal with no opposable thumbs, his response was “I don’t know what to do with my hands.”
After that interview Jeff disappeared from the public view, swearing never again to tempt cruel mistress speed ever again. But in 2018, the unthinkable happened. After being out of the spotlight for almost 2 years, he announced he would be entering the 2018 Potato Grand Prix. When asked about his motivation he said:
I learned something important in my time away from the sport. I was at a real low point in my life. Drunk and stoned on a remote beach in Cambodia and thinking about all the things I’d never do again without functioning thumbs. One night I found myself at a drug fueled bacchanalia, and in a mind altering trip my childhood-self appeared before me. He asked why I gave up. I simply held up my thumbs. And he said “But if you can’t bend your thumbs, you can never lose in a thumb war”. Those words stick with me today. And if I can never lose at a thumb war, imagine everything else I could accomplish. When I saw the PGP announced, it was a no brainer. So let’s do this, LEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOY JENNNKIIIIIIIIIINS!!!!!
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