Infidelity is one of the biggest marriage destroyers.
And a lot of the times, even the strongest of marriages can’t even survive an affair.
But before I dive into these signs, I have to talk about a couple important facts…
and these facts might be a little unsettling to you no matter what situation you’re in.
Fact number one is that your partner could be showing almost all of these signs and still
not be cheating on you.
You’re going to have to take this post with a grain of salt because you can never
be 100% sure until your partner admits it to you… or if you catch him or her red handed.
However, the signs I’m about to talk about are most definitely an indicator of something
wrong in your marriage, so it’s important to keep this in mind moving forward.
The second fact is… your partner could be displaying almost NONE of these results and
STILL be having an affair on you.
In fact, it’s estimated that the vast majority of affairs go undetected.
I know, if you’re in a happy marriage, this may be a hard fact to swallow… but facts
are facts.
Unfortunately, some people can be such amazing liars that their partners never find out.
We also have to keep in mind that affairs can happen in good marriages too.
Just because an affair takes place doesn’t mean the person committing the act is evil
or an ‘awful person’.
It is possible to salvage a marriage even after something as daunting as an affair.
Just remember that no matter how difficult things may be for you in your marriage, you
must maintain a strong, confident, and positive outlook if you have any chance to save your
marriage.
So without further ado, here is my list of the top 6 signs your spouse may be having
an affair.
1.) Your spouse gets aggravated easily.
If your spouse is constantly picking fights with you about seemingly mundane things, it
might be a sign that something is brewing deep down inside.
So if your spouse is making you feel like you can’t do anything right, or you just
seem like you can’t do anything to make your spouse calmer and more forgiving, it
could be a sign their mind has been wandering lately.
If this is happening to you, it’s important to NOT snap back at your spouse… for now,
keep a cool head and find the right time to calmly ask your spouse why they’re acting
this way.
2.) Your spouse is becoming emotionally distant from you.
If your spouse is acting a little quieter, more withdrawn, or even depressed and sad,
it could be a sign that there’s something going on that he or she isn’t telling you.
Again, like I said at the beginning of this post, this might be a sign of something that
has nothing to do with an affair, but rest assured that if your spouse is acting this
strange, you can bet there’s something up.
Tread carefully when you’re with an emotionally distanced spouse… if something is really
bugging him or her, you could really tip them off with the wrong words.
Instead of prying, approach your spouse from a position of support…say something like,
“I know something is wrong, and I really want to help.
If you don’t want to talk about it now, then I understand.”
Start from there and see where it goes.
3.) Your spouse is working longer hours.
If your spouse is working beyond their typical work hours, then this might be a sign that
there’s some infidelity that might be happening.
If he or she is coming home late and/or taking some strange work trips, this can be a big
indicator of infidelity.
4.) Your spouse wants more “space”.
If your spouse is uncharacteristically asking for more space or ‘room to breathe’, you
can be sure that something is up…especially if things haven’t always been this way.
If your spouse is asking for more space, then give it to him or her and continue monitoring
how they’re acting.
Sooner or later, you’ll be able to bring up this issue to your spouse and attempt to
get to the bottom of their peculiar behavior.
If you feel like your marriage is strained or if you feel like your spouse is slowly
pulling away from you… THEN HEAD OVER HERE and watch the free video
presentation on that website.
In it, I go over 3 ingredients that every successful marriage needs to have.
5.) And this next one is a little bit strange, but if your spouse is suddenly paying close
attention to their appearance, it could be a sign that he or she is trying to impress
someone else.
For example, if they’re buying new clothes, going to the gym, making sure their hair is
spot on before he or she goes out, it could be a sign that they’re seeing someone they
want to impress.
This is especially suspicious if the desire to look good comes along suddenly.
So be on the lookout!
6.) Your spouse is suddenly a stickler for privacy.
This should be a pretty obvious one, but it’s worth noting.
If your spouse is suddenly scared about you prying into their life, then this is a huge
red flag.
It’s important that both partners maintain some level of privacy in a marriage, however,
if you feel like your partner is taking it too far, then you can be sure that they’re
hiding something.
Here’s my favorite test… the next time you and your partner are together, pick up
their phone and say you need to Google something.
If they start freaking out, then you know something is up.
Same goes for their computer… any sort of suspicious behavior involving their electronic
devices might be a big clue.
Of course, this isn’t an exhaustive list of signs your ex may be cheating on you.
If you feel like your spouse might be cheating on you, then I encourage you to click here
and watch the free video presentation and sign up for a
personal coaching program here.
Together we can discover what your spouse is really up to… and we can go over some
tried, tested, and true methods to make you can revitalize your relationship and save
your marriage.
Now, when someone you love betrays your trust, it can feel like an hopeless hurdle to overcome.
But the truth is, with a little tender love and care, and dedication from both spouses,
it's completely possible for your marriage to survive infidelity.
Today I’m going to talk about how to overcome cheating in your marriage.
Before we get started it’s important to note that before any progress can be made
in repairing the marriage, the unfaithful spouse must first end their affair.
Once that’s done, both spouses must commit to repairing the damage, rebuilding trust,
and working through the following steps to save their marriage and emerge stronger on
the other side.
Here they are:
1. Openly talk about the affair.
In order to move past the infidelity, it’s important that both partners are given the
opportunity to share their feelings and get the insight they need to move on.
The betrayed spouse should ask questions about the things they need to know.
For example, how long did the affair last?
Was it sexual or emotional?
What was the extent of the lies that were told to conceal it?
And is there any risk of an STD or pregnancy?
Although they may have the urge to learn the X-rated details of the sexual encounters,
they shouldn’t ask.
Instead of causing more unnecessary pain, keep the focus on the relationship, not the
affair.
It’s also important that the unfaithful spouse shares the thoughts and feelings they
had that caused them to cheat.
Doing so will help you both understand the underlying problems you face.
2. Practice honesty and work on rebuilding trust.
It’s crucial that spouses provide all details honestly and completely, and take the steps
necessary to prove their trustworthiness.
Even though telling the truth can be tough, it’s been proven that couples heal better
after an affair if the adulterous spouse supplies all of the information requested by his or
her betrayed partner.
If you never discuss it, you cannot recover.
A willingness to talk about the affair will rebuild trust, but if you leave out details
and they come out in the future, then your spouse will feel betrayed all over again.
Another great way to work on rebuilding trust is by making sure that your actions match
up with your words.
For example, if you say, "I love you," back it up with loving actions.
If you say, "I want our marriage to work," then commit to being monogamous.
There is nothing worse for your partner than to find out they’re being lied to.
3. Patiently face your feelings.
Infidelity has a devastating impact on a marriage, but if you can stop and fully feel the heartache,
you will be surprised at what is possible.
Once you face your feelings and give yourself time to process them, they will begin to shift.
It’s true you’ll never forget the affair, but with time, the painful memories will begin
to fade.
The single best indicator of whether a relationship can survive infidelity is how much empathy
the unfaithful partner shows when the betrayed spouse gets emotional about the affair.
It can be frustrating to hear the same things over and over again, but it’s important to be
understanding of their feelings.
After an affair is over, a couple has a window of opportunity to fix what was wrong and make
their marriage better than ever.
However, the emotional reactions that are left over from the affair may stand in the way.
It’s important that spouses takes healing seriously and don’t try to rush their recovery.
Grieving together can help you let go of what’s lost to make room for your future together.
4. Learn to deal with resentment.
Once a husband and wife agree to work towards rebuilding their love for each other, you
may think that all would be forgiven.
While that may be the case, it’s not likely that all will be forgotten.
Since a spouse's unfaithfulness is one of the most painful experiences anyone can have
in life, it’s not uncommon for couples to find that the memory of their spouse’s affair
haunts them even decades after it happened.
Although the resentment caused by an affair can push couples to consider ending their
marriage, most affairs do not lead to divorce.
In fact, most spouses try to reconcile, and usually succeed.
That said, even after a successful reconciliation, resentment is a feeling that will linger on
and on.
At times you may feel you’ve overcome it, but unfortunately it is something that will
return time and time again
5. Do things together
Couples that spend time together and have shared interests recover from infidelity much
more quickly and effectively.
Make a point to discover or rediscover things that you can do together that you both enjoy,
it’s a great way to spend quality time together, create new memories and become more emotionally
intimate.
By keeping busy, you and your spouse will have less free time to sit around and dwell
on the affair.
Trying new activities and exploring new interests together will also give you both the chance
you need to reconnect.
6. Recommit yourself to the relationship.
The emotional fallout from infidelity can take years to heal, but if you want to stay
together, then act like you do.
To help you recommit to the marriage, think back to when they first met or got married.
How did you fall in love?
Why did you get married?
What did the relationship look like back then?
Now, think about the future you wanted to spend together, your plans to enjoy retirement
together, travel and enjoying family activities.
What does that look like?
7. Seek professional help.
Often times, couples dealing with infidelity will choose to attend counselling together.
Talking to an outside third party can give you both the help you need to understand the
unmet needs in your marriage, and it can also speed up with healing process.
That said, it does take time.
If you’re still on the fence about counselling but would like to start repairing your marriage
today, then CLICK HERE to watch the full length video presentation.
8. Start fresh.
Once you are ready to move on, it’s important that you let go of any old thoughts or behaviors
that triggers memories of the affair, and replace them with things that encourages you
to be committed, content and faithful in your marriage.
In order to truly get over infidelity it’s important that you do not hold the affair
over your partner’s head.
If every time your bicker it leads back to what happened, then neither of you are going
to be able to grow and move on together.
Well that wraps things up, I hope you enjoyed the article and you are feeling confident about
overcoming the issues in your marriage.