Have you ever been asked by someone, “if you could have any superpower, what would you choose?”
For me, the answer is simple…. the ability to read minds.
I can’t think of any power more advantageous than the ability to know exactly what someone
else is thinking.
And in this article, I’m going to help you acquire this superpower temporarily… and
use it to uncover what’s going on inside your ex’s brain.
Now, sadly I can’t guarantee 100% accuracy when it comes to what your ex is thinking,
but I have experience over 10 years now.
Working directly with people going through a breakup, and watching all
the various common situations couples have faced, and how they turned out… all of this
experience has given me the ability to learn and understand the typical emotions, actions,
and phases people go through after breaking up.
So, if you read this to the end, you may not know exactly what your ex is thinking…
but you WILL have a much better idea of what’s likely going on in their head, and what they’re
feeling towards you and about the breakup.
I will begin this article with a bit of disclaimer here, because the reality is that there can
be a number of things that have a significant impact on my answer to the question, “is
my ex thinking about me”... in particular, there’s three factors that we need to cover briefly.
When you’re 13 years old and dating someone for the first time, things might feel pretty serious…
I mean, holding hands is a big deal, right?
But yeah, in the grand scheme of things, casually dating on and off for a month barely falls
into the “real relationship” category.
Same goes for any sort of virtual relationship where you and your ex only met face to face
once or twice.
On the other hand, if you’ve lived together with your ex… spent years spending almost
every day with one another… maybe even had children together…. that’s a completely different story.
Simply put, the longer you and your ex were together as a couple, and the deeper and more
committed your relationship was, the more impact breaking up is going to have on both parties.
But you need to be able to realistically evaluate your own relationship and determine where
it fits on the “seriousness meter” because that will impact what’s going on in your
ex’s head.
If your breakup with this ex was more than 2 years ago, then you can probably safely
assume that your ex is not thinking about you right now.
If the relationship was serious and long-term, then even after 2 years it’s likely that
thoughts of you will pop into your ex’s mind every now and then.
On the other hand, if you broke up with your ex within the last month or so, that’s a
very different game.
In most cases, the first month will always be a struggle for your ex just as much as
it is for you… and I can guarantee that you’re on your ex’s mind constantly.
For those who were in a really long-term, serious relationship -- your ex will still
think of you daily for months after breaking up.
See, one of the mistakes a lot of people make is to assume that the pain and heartache they’re
feeling after the breakup are far worse than whatever their ex is going through at the
same time.
It doesn’t work like that for 99% of breakups… regardless of whether you were dumped out
of the blue, whether it was mutual, or whether you are the one initiating a breakup….
It’s always painful and difficult for both partners, and just because your ex is the
one who decided on the initial breakup doesn’t mean they’re not struggling even more than
you are right now!
In fact, and a lot of people might be skeptical about this, but I promise it’s absolutely
true -- sometimes the “dumper”, or the person who wanted to break up and end things,
actually has an even harder time than their partner who was dumped and didn’t have a
say in the matter.
One of the main reasons for this is because your ex, or the person who decided to break
up, knows you’ll likely say yes if they change their mind and decide, “actually
no, I don’t want this, let’s get back together”... simply knowing you can take
the easy road and numb the heartache at any time makes it very very difficult to stick
to your decision and get through the worst of the post-breakup emotions.
In the Ex Factor program, you’ll find that this is one of
the key techniques that we teach -- how to maximize your ex’s internal struggles and
second-thoughts to the point where they do indeed break down and beg to have you back…
and of course, this only works because both parties go through the same painful recovery
process after breaking up.
So, don’t delude yourself into thinking that you’re the only one crying about this
breakup, because your ex is definitely suffering too.
If you want to learn how you can take advantage of this situation and use it to get a second
chance with your ex, the best place to start is The Ex Factor Guide where you can watch
the full tutorial video and pick up a copy of the comprehensive Ex Factor program risk-free
A rebound relationship, if that’s actually what it is, doesn’t stop your ex from feeling
the post-breakup emotions and depression… all it does is change when those emotions
are felt.
In a traditional rebound, the new person in your ex’s life is going to be like a shiny
object that distracts them temporarily from the heartache that you’re enduring.
But because most rebounds are based on passion, physical attraction, and a desire to experience
something new and different… they don’t usually last very long.
Once the novelty of this new person wears off, and the passion and excitement fizzle
out, it’s normal for your ex to then realize that they’re not compatible anyway and that
the relationship has no long-term future.
Now, for anyone reading this right now that is in this exact situation to the one I just
described -- where you’ve been apart from your ex for a month or two now, and right
after the initial breakup your ex jumped into a rebound relationship that is now coming
to an end or starting to fizzle out -- you can safely assume that your ex is actually
going to be feeling even worse now than they would have if this rebound had never happened at all.
By jumping into a new relationship right away, they’ve essentially just deferred the pain
and heartache of a breakup for later by distracting themselves.
But when “later” finally does arrive, and the rebound ends, your ex has to face
the music and it can often actually intensify their sadness and loneliness.
Why?
Well, for starters, they’ve now essentially gone through two breakups, even though the
second was much less significant.
But more importantly, as I’ve mentioned before, humans also have a natural tendency
to let go of negative thoughts and memories and fixate or even amplify the positive ones.
So unlike right after the breakup, when your ex had all the negative aspects of your relationship
on their mind and being apart seemed like the right choice, at this point your ex will
have a harder time remembering all the things that led to them deciding to end your relationship,
and be more likely to have begun focusing on the positive aspects that make them miss
you and want to get back together.
And finally, because this new rebound person isn’t likely as compatible with your ex
was you were, it also gives them someone to compare to you -- and most of the time, that’s
only going to further crank up the feelings of doubt and regret in the back of your ex’s
mind, because now they’ve just had a fresh reminder of how “special” and rare the
connection you shared really was.
Honestly, they’re likely distracted by this new person, and they’ll be thinking about
you sometimes, but not as often as you think of them.
But on the other hand, if this rebound has already ended, then your ex is going to often
be in an even worse state of emotional health than you were in the immediate aftermath of
the breakup... and I can guarantee you’ll be on their mind constantly if this is the case.
Now for the bad news regarding rebound relationships… not all relationships that begin soon after
breaking up are a rebound.
Most are, but some are more serious.
And perhaps more importantly, sometimes they begin before the actual breakup even happens.
It doesn’t have to be an official ‘relationship’ or involve anything physical initially, it
could simply mean that your ex was working closely with someone of the opposite gender
on a big project at work in the weeks before you broke up… and, as they became closer
to this new person and started to imagine themselves as a couple… that’s typically
when the seeds of the breakup are planted.
Having someone new to run off to and quash the post-breakup heartache is also something
that can often give confidence to anyone who has been wondering for some time whether the
relationship they’re in has a real future.
Add an intriguing new person of the opposite sex to this existing doubt about things, and
that’s often enough for someone to get the courage to break up and run off with this
new person they’ve already slowly been falling for.
This is probably the most painful and difficult breakup situation you can face, quite frankly,
if you’re on the receiving end of this sort of scenario where your ex has essentially
dumped you for someone else..
Especially if you’ve seen signs of this happening long before the breakup, and you
were aware of the new person in your ex’s life long before breaking up.
So if you are in this boat, I really am sorry and I empathize with what you’re going through.
Sadly, this is one of the only factors -- aside from the two I mentioned earlier, the seriousness
and length of your relationship and the amount of time since you broke up -- that will likely
mean your ex is NOT thinking about you as much as you’re thinking about them.
Having a new relationship to talk into immediately after breaking up, especially if it’s pre - planned
and your ex has been slowly drifting into the new person’s arms even while you were
still together, is an effective way to avoid the worst of the heartache that typically
affects everyone after breaking up.
Now, that’s not to say they’re never thinking of you at all anymore, so don’t assume you
magically disappeared from your ex’s thoughts all of a sudden one day.
It just means that you likely had, or have, a longer and more difficult recovery to get
over them.
Also, in this type of situation, they’ll usually not think about you that much in the
immediate days or weeks after breaking up… the peak of their feelings of missing you
and thinking about you will likely come after they’ve settled into the new relationship,
once it becomes less exciting and more routine.
Even then, you can expect to pop up in their mind from time to time, but unfortunately
not as often as you might hope.
Finally, there’s a couple of times when you can be absolutely certain that your
ex is thinking about you and missing you like crazy.
Depending on how serious your relationship was, this is usually 2-4 weeks after you broke
up… at this point your ex, or the person who initiated the breakup, no longer has any
feelings of excitement about the prospects of being single.
They’re also likely less convinced that they made the right decision in breaking up.
The reality has sunken in by this point, they’ve felt enough heartache already to be second-guessing
their choice to end things, and their friends and family are no longer around 24/7 to keep
their mind off the breakup….
It’s a toxic mix that results in the Rock Bottom phase.
If your ex is in this phase right now, you can be damn sure they’re wishing you were
around and they’re thinking about you frequently.
Usually it’s very specific -- catching a whiff of someone wearing the same cologne
you used to wear, for example.
Or seeing a TV ad for the resort you visited together on your first anniversary as a couple.
Or, for the most cliché example… when ‘your song’ comes on the radio.
I imagine most of you reading this right now, know exactly the type of situation I’m
talking about, where you think things are fine and you’re feeling better… and then,
BAM, out of the blue you suddenly see or hear something that you can’t help but associate
with your ex.
There’s absolutely no question that your ex will experience this type of thing too…
and in fact, if you’re both separately listening to the same radio station at the same time
and “your song” starts playing.
I don’t need a crystal ball to know for sure that your ex is going to be thinking
of you in that moment, same as you would be.
This kind of nostalgic memory is actually an extremely powerful tool that can help you
win back your ex, if that’s something you’re hoping for.
In fact, The Ex Factor Guide is based around the 3R System -- a three step process for getting
a second chance with your ex -- and the 2nd R, which stands for “rekindling”, is all
about maximizing the impact of your ex’s emotions and nostalgia and then taking advantage
of those feelings to make your ex come crawling back to you.
Please click here and watch the full free tutorial video on there right now,
because you’ll learn a lot more about using the 3R system, and a number of other proven
psychological techniques you can be using to change how your ex feels about you and
get a chance to start over with them again.
I hope you’ve enjoy this ‘psychic mind-reading’ session and found it helpful to learn what
is going on inside your ex’s mind.