The Wyndham Championship

We arrive at the end of the 2025 fantasy golf season. There is a visible haze that hangs over the humid, southern city hosting this week's tournament that should not be mistaken for the exhaust from the local textile mills. What you are seeing is the sense of desperation enveloping the area. This is the final chance for players to lock in their spots for the FedEx Cup playoffs this season. The final chance for some to salvage their seasons. The final chance for someone to play well enough to get interviewed by the adorable Amanda Balionis (I mean, that should really be any red blooded male's goal regardless of whether they are a golfer or not, right?). If efforts fail and you go down in a blaze of glory, you will be left crying in your locally bottled Cheerwine post round. Welcome to the Wyndham Championship at Sedgefield Country Club in Greensboro, North Carolina!

My guy is on the proverbial bubble. I am not talking about the top 70 to get into the playoffs bubble. He's well inside of that. There is another bubble that carries tremendous weight which doesn't get talked about as much as it should; the top 50 bubble. That is the one that guarantees entry into all full-field PGA TOUR events, the PLAYERS, the Sentry Tournament of Champions, and most importantly, all the $ignature events which means the opportunity to win big piles of cash and prizes. Currently sitting at 54th in the points, that ought to incentivize this local North Carolina boy to play well this week at the tournament formerly known as the Greater Greensboro Open. A round of applause for the pride of Western Carolina University (go Catamounts!), a man who loves to hunt, fish, and hate on all the Duke sports programs, the "other" J.T., a.k.a., "The Postman," Mr. J.T. Poston! 

The 3M Open

Mr. Commish,

This week the traveling circus that is PGA TOUR descends upon the Land of 10,000 Lakes for the penultimate event in our fantasy golf season. Welcome to the 3M Open at TPC Twin Cities in the northern suburb of Blaine! I am pleased to report that since last year, it appears there have been no changes to Blaine's chicken permitting process. Residents can still have up to six providing you are in the correct zoning districts, limit yourself to hens only (no roosters!), and abide by a laundry list of standards. Hardly seems worth it given all the regulatory requirements and hurdles, but to each their own. It's like Krusty the Clown said in the Simpsons episode where he reconnects with his religious faith; "All these rules. I feel like I'm in a strip club!"  

Since I have, in golf league parlance, been "mathematically elongated" as it were, this pick is largely ceremonial and falls nicely into the "futile and stupid gesture" category that Otter spoke of so eloquently. My guy is a major champion and three time winner on TOUR. He's had something of a down year and is currently 51st in the FedEx Cup standings. Showing signs of a return to good form at The Open, he should get his season back on track and ready for the playoff run at this middling event with a somewhat depleted field. The emerging "Bad Boy of Golf", this season alone he has already had to issue an apology for destroying a T-Mobile sign at the PGA Championship, and managed to get himself banned from Oakmont (!) after wrecking the locker room following an early exit in the U.S. Open. The mind wanders as to what controversy might unfold during his stay in the North Star State. Why, he might just head over to Wild Bill's Sports Saloon off of Highway 65 and, much like the Clint character in the Dazed and Confused movie, declare boldly, "I only came to Minnesota to do two things; kick some ass and drink some beer...(slowly glances over to seedy townies at the bar)...looks like we're almost outta beer." Savage! From Denver, Colorado, give it up for the former Oregon Duck, the Notorious W.R.C. himself, Mr. Wyndham Robert Clark! 

The Open Championship and the Barracuda Championship

Mr. Commish,

This week we are at the granddaddy of them all, The Open Championship, which this year is being held at Royal Portrush in Northern Ireland. Irish eyes will no doubt be smiling on the likes of Shane Lowry and Rory McIlroy. Alas, I have used both, so I am probably screwed. My guy makes me nervous. He is a bit of a loose cannon; a complete psycho, some might say. He is now making big bucks on the LIV tour, but he is playing some good golf in the majors and DP World Tour events that he can still get into. Will the Golfing Gods look upon this Englishman with favor and grant him his first career major? Or will he lose his temper, throw his clubs into the North Atlantic Ocean, punch a belligerent fan, and get arrested by the local Portrush P.D.? Stay tuned and find out! From High Wycombe, England, give it up for Mr. Excitement himself, the one, the only, the volatile, Mr. Tyrell Hatton! 

Not to be forgotten, 4792 miles away as a world traveling crow flies, we have a de-escalated event in Truckee, CA, for those not qualified for The Open. Welcome to the Barracuda Championship, the PGA TOUR's only Modified Stableford Scoring System tournament where scores on the plus side are a very good thing. A birdie machine is a prerequisite, and my guy will meet this criteria nicely. He quietly has two career PGA TOUR wins, is 77th in the Official World Golf Rankings, and is showing signs of good form. We know he is a tough competitor with a high tolerance for pain, as is evidenced by him having to live with Viktor Hovland and his horrible taste in music while at Oklahoma State. A round of applause for the pride of Edmund, OK, Mr. Austin Eckroat! 

The Genesis Scottish Open & The OSCO Championship

Mr. Commish,

We fly over the pond this week for what is fast becoming a pretty prestigious event. The Genesis Scottish Open at The Renaissance Club in North Berwick had traditionally been used mainly by European players as a final tune-up for the British Open. But now, thanks to the partnership and collaboration with the DP World Tour, it attracts all the big boys and produces what is truly a star-studded field. This gentleman performed really well here last year. Currently ranked 34th in the world with six career victories internationally, I am expecting big things. His PGA TOUR bio says nothing other than he is from Wolverhampton, England, so that gives me creative license to say his hobbies include karaoke nights with friends, parasailing, plein air painting, and beer can collecting. Give it up for my guy, Mr Aaron Rai!

Not to be forgotten is a secondary event taking place in the land of bourbon, bluegrass, and legendary lawman Raylan Givens. Welcome to something called the ISCO Championship at the Hurstbourne Country Club in Louisville, Kentucky! There is only one player in the field inside the top 100 of the Official World Golf Rankings, so good luck to all of us. I'm going with this guy. A bit of a character, he loves sushi, and once dreamed of an NBA career but decided he wasn't tall enough. He is perhaps most famous for proposing to his then girlfriend on the 18th at Pebble Beach a decade ago. With zero career wins to this point, he's actually ranked 63rd in the FedEx Cup points, so he's quietly having a fine season and is inside the top 70 for playoff qualification. There is no better time to add that first win to the curriculum vitae than right here this week. Playing out of The Woodlands, Texas, three cheers for the former San Jose State Spartan great, a Colorado native who (per his Twitter profile pic) clearly hates the Chiefs, "Homeless Hubbs" himself, Mr. Mark Hubbard!

The John Deere Classic

Mr. Commish,

We venture to the Land of Lincoln for a longstanding event that dates back 1971. That year, Deane Beman (who later became the second PGA TOUR Commissioner) won what was the inaugural Quad Cities Open. His prize? A cool $5000. Five grand! Times have definitely changed, and I am guessing that kind of dough might not cover the AirBNB fee on a player's rental house this week at what is now called the John Deere Classic at TPC Deere Run in Silvis, IL! 

Many of the big names have taken the week off to prepare for the Genesis Scottish Open, but there are still quite a few top 100 FedEx Cup guys in the field. The season is winding down, only the top 70 make the playoffs, and this tournament represents the last chance to get into the British Open for those who were previously not qualified. Much is at stake! Especially for my guy. He's currently sitting at 72nd in the FedEx Cup points and needs to make a move to get into said playoffs. A bit inconsistent since his last win two years ago, but fear is a great motivator, and he needs a few more wins and probably a major under his belt to displace Bubba Watson as the most accomplished Golf Boy. Playing out of Jupiter, FL, give it up for the California kid, and the Oklahoma State Cowboy great, Mr. Rickie Fowler! 

Rocket Mortgage Classic

Mr. Commish,

The Sepp Straka Spectacle™ was nothing to write home about. A guaranteed money event with the guy who was 3rd in the FedEx Cup standings should have been much more profitable. He didn't have his "A" game, as they say, but apparently nothing was about to stop the storybook ending for New England's favorite son, Keegan Bradley. First combination Ryder Cup captain and player since 1963? We will see this fall!

We move from Connecticut to the great state of Michigan for the Rocket Mortgage Classic at the historic Detroit Country Club. There is a surprising number of top 50 golfers here considering we are coming off of busy stretch with a major and a $ignature event over the last couple of weeks. I really like this guy. He is quietly having a terrific season, currently ranked 31st in the FedEx Cup standings. Born in South Korea, his family relocated to Del Mar, California, where he eventually attended Torrey Pines High School and cut his golfing teeth playing many rounds at...you guessed it, one of the greatest muni courses out there, Torrey Pines in nearby La Jolla. With only one professional win, he seems primed for another given his good and consistent form. A great follow on social media as well, he spends his spare time offering keen insight into the nuances of the life of a PGA TOUR player. Playing out of Dallas, TX, give it up for the Cal-Berkeley product and huge Aaron Rodgers fan, Mr. Michael Kim!

The Travelers Championship

Mr. Commish,

Oakmont Country Club was tough! Frustrations boiled over as the combination of difficulty and weather took center stage. We were treated to destroyed lockers thanks to Wyndham Clark, and perhaps the greatest club toss of all time by Rory. Who can blame them? The J.J. Spaun U.S. Open victory was a most improbable one. Dude shot a 40 on the front with some unbelievably bad breaks, but he rallied on the back, capping off the win in dramatic fashion with a 64 foot birdie putt. At 150-1 odds, a bet on Spaun would have been most profitable. Of course, if I had those kinds of prognostication skills, I surely wouldn't have picked Bryson, so there you go!  

All the big boys will head to Connecticut for the last $ignature event of the season. Welcome to the Travelers Championship at the gorgeous TPC River Highlands course! This track should be an absolute cakewalk after the brutal U.S. Open test at Oakmont last week, so it will require a player that can go low. And this guy will fit the bill nicely. With four career wins, this tall drink of water is in third place in the FedEx Cup standings and is having a fantastic season overall. He grew up in Georgia but was born in Vienna, Austria, which means we unfortunately can't get him for the U.S. Ryder Cup squad. Give it up for the former Georgia Bulldog, Olympian, and a man who travels with his own Diet Coke for fear that only Pepsi will be available at some venues, Mr. Sepp Straka!  

The US Open

Mr. Commish,

Did you see the Canadian Open playoff between Ryan Fox and Sam Burns? It was so strange. The playoff went for four holes, playing the 18th hole each time. But after the second hole, the grounds crew came out and changed the hole location. Say what? I have been watching golf a long time, and I have never seen a situation where a hole got changed out mid round unless a cup got damaged or something weird happened. I guess they do playoffs differently in Canada, eh? I was glad the playoff didn't go to a fifth hole for fear that there might be a huge time delay while they move to a nearby golf course to finish.

Also, one final note on the Canadian Open; their logo change to include the silhouette of the Nick Taylor's putter toss was brilliant. I can't claim credit for this, but my mom suggested it would have been even better if they incorporated a logo of Adam Hadwin getting tackled by the security guard. How great would that be? Maybe the moment when the guard was on top with Adam pinned to the ground could somehow be fashioned as one of the "A's"? In hindsight, this seems like a missed opportunity. 

This week the USGA descends upon Pennsylvania for America's national championship, the U.S. Open at historic Oakmont Country Club. Past winners at Oakmont include such luminaries as Tommy Armour, Ben Hogan, Jack Nicklaus, Johnny Miller, Ernie Els, and Dustin Johnson. My guy fully intends to join this distinguished list by winning his third U.S. Open title. With 14 professional wins, he has established himself as one of the world's best. A close call at the Masters and him feeling weirdly put off by the lack of conversation with Rory will no doubt leave him hungry and motivated for a victory. Somehow he is still ranked 10th in the Official World Golf Rankings despite playing on that "other" tour, so nobody really knows what kind of form he is truly in. His WWE-esque heel turn from villain to man-of-the people may or may not be complete BS, but you can't deny his charisma. Also, I am running out of options, forcing me to dig deep into my LIV bag of tricks, and selecting the defending champion seems like a reasonable choice. Playing out of Grapevine, Texas, give it up for the SMU Mustangs standout, a man of many talents, the Mad Scientist himself, Mr. Bryson James Aldrich DeChambeau!

The RBC Canadian Open

Mr. Commish,

The Scottie Scheffler coronation marches on. My guy, Harris English, managed to eke out a T12; not horrible, could have been better. But the best thing to happen at the Memorial Tournament presented by Workday? Why, that would be the very sweet ceremony enshrining Barbara Nicklaus as the 2025 Memorial honoree. She's simply the classiest lady with an amazing legacy, and the world is a better place because of her. I am sure she wishes the incident where she clubbed her husband with a 9-iron following the revelation of his infidelity with a New York nightclub manager never happened, but life is full of surprises and she rebounded nicely. (Hang on...I am being told that the 9-iron incident was NOT Barbara Nicklaus and this involved a DIFFERENT pro golfer and his wife. Scratch all of that from the record. Musings by Jean regrets this error...)

Pass me a Moosehead Lager and some ketchup-flavored potato chips! This week we, as Bob and Doug McKenzie would say, take off to the Great White North as the TOUR heads to the land of maple syrup, hockey, poutine, and politeness for the RBC Canadian Open hosted at TPC Toronto at Osprey Valley. Following a wave of Nick Taylor glory from a couple of years ago, why can't another Canadian win their National Open? My guy is the favorite son of Hamilton, Ontario. A two time PGA TOUR winner with a recent playoff appearance at the ONEflight Myrtle Beach Classic, this Olympian and member of the Kent State Athletic Hall of Fame is rounding into form as we enter an important stretch of the season. How can you not root for a guy who chugged a beer to kick off the 2024 President's Cup? Sign that man up for my team immediately (but let's give him something more palatable than Stella Artois, for crying out loud!). Playing out of Charlotte, let's hear it for a proud Canadian who loves the Toronto Maple Leafs, hates chocolate in all forms, and, in possibly the greatest of omens, served as a standard bearer for Mike's Weir's group in the 2004 RBC Canadian Open, Mr. Mackenzie Hughes!   

The Memorial Tournament

Mr. Commish,

Reeling from my incredibly mediocre Nico Echavarria pick (more like Nico Echavarrislimchanceofwinning, am I right?!?), I find myself punch drunk and staggering toward the great state of Ohio for our annual pilgrimage to the home of the world's greatest milkshake, Jack's Shack. Welcome to the Memorial Tournament Presented by Workday at Muirfield Village Golf Club in the tony Columbus suburb of Dublin (a city you can thank for the $3 "Son of Baconator" burger and the 10-piece "Saucy Nuggs" combo meal, as this is also the birthplace of Wendy's!). 

The number of viable winning options grows smaller the deeper we get into the season, which is never good heading into an important $ignature event. But I tell you what, this guy has been playing some really good golf and somehow seems like he is a bit under the radar. With a win at the Farmers Insurance Open this year and a recent T2 at the PGA Championship, this Georgia Bulldog is primed for a win at a prestigious event like the Memorial. From Valdosta and playing out of Sea Island in the Peach State, he is former Ryder Cupper, a huge fan of Jeopardy, a guy who marks his ball with a 1989 quarter, die hard Atlanta Falcons fan, a man who aspires to rip around a superspeedway in a NASCAR vehicle someday, and much to the chagrin of his lovely wife, Helen Marie, he lists his biggest thrill outside of golf as...shooting an 11-point buck? I know everything sounds made up, but honestly, it is straight from his PGA TOUR website bio. Give it up for the one and only Mr. Harris English!

The Charles Schwab Challenge

Mr. Commish,

I couldn't help but notice that Mr. Davis Riley finished in T2 at the PGA Championship. A week earlier, he was my pick for the junior varsity TOUR event, the ONEflight Myrtle Beach Classic, where he missed the cut badly. I am happy for him, as he was owed some good karma for his honesty with the rangefinder debacle at the Byron Nelson. But it would have been nice if his karma would align with me choosing him. Is there some sort of Karma Task Force I can speak to about this? I mean, things really should not be this complicated.  

We head to Texas this week (Weren't we just here? Who is in charge of scheduling these things?) for the Charles Schwab Challenge at the historic, old school Colonial Country Club in the glorious cowtown that is Fort Worth. The aforementioned Davis Riley was the winner here last year, but my crack team of research nerds and the Karma Police failed to notify me of this when I picked him a couple weeks ago. No worries, however! With two wins over the last two seasons, and with a playoff appearance at this year's Sony Open in Hawaii, my guy this week has the chops to become a rising star on the PGA TOUR. His favorite athlete is, of all people, Michael Phelps. According to his bio, not many people know he is a really good ping pong and tennis player (well, I guess the secret is out now!). All of this simply means he is well rounded and ready to rack up a win at the Chucky Schwab. Hailing from Medellin, Columbia, and playing out of Ponte Vedra Beach, FL, three cheers and a "Woo Pig Sooie" for the kid from the University of Arkansas, Mr. Nico Echavarria! 

The PGA Championship

Mr. Commish,

Following the Keegan Bradley Indifference™ and the Davis Riley Ruination™, we look to salvage some dignity as we head to the Tarheel State for the second major of the season; the 2025 PGA Championship at the vaunted Quail Hollow Club. In looking at my options, I have already used a shocking number of good players:

• The clear favorite is Rory McIlroy, coming in hotter than Dutch love on the heels of his Masters triumph, and he has a stellar track record in Charlotte. However, I used him at Pebble, so scratch him off the list.

• Favorite "1A" would be Scottie Scheffler, also coming into the tournament having hoisted a trophy in his home state of Texas a couple weeks ago. You might remember I squandered him at the Arnie.

• All eyes will be on the notorious prankster Jordan Spieth to see if he can complete the final leg of his own Grand Slam since it is only the PGA that has eluded him. Alas, I barely missed a top 10 with him at the Valero.

• Justin Thomas won the PGA on this very course in 2017 and has a $ignature event win under his belt. But I used JT at the Genesis.

• Morikawa? Dead (used him at the Sentry). Xander? Dead (used him at the RBC Heritage). Aberg? Dead (42nd place for me at the Farmers AND then won weeks later on the same Torrey Pines course when the Genesis got moved!). Shane Lowry? Dead (used him at the Cognizant). Niedermeyer? Dead!

• I even considered Webb Simpson, 2012 US Open champ and the 2015 Roanoke-Chowan Pork Fest Barbecue Championship winner (whole hog division), as he lives here at Quail Hollow and possesses much local knowledge. But he's not even in the field! 

In going down the list, I do have this guy available. Already a winner this season, he has 7 PGA TOUR and 2 International wins on his curriculum vitae. He's a quirky one; loves death metal music, lives in the golfing Mecca of Stillwater, Oklahoma, and is a bit of a conspiracy theorist. But when this guy gets hot, he can go low, and there is no good reason he couldn't add his first major to a growing list of accomplishments. From Oslo, Norway, give it up for the former European Ryder Cupper, Olympian, winner of the 2023 FedEx Cup title, and big fan of fårikål, pinnekjøtt, and reinsdyrstek, Mr. Viktor Hovland!

Truist Championship / ONEflight Myrtle Beach Classic

Mr. Commish,

Following the Tom Kim Debacle™ at the Byron Nelson, we hightail it to The Keystone State for a $ignature event, something called the Truist Championship. Apparently this is a one-off venue change for a tournament that would normally be played at Quail Hollow in Charlotte were it not for the fact that the PGA Championship is happening there next week. The Truist Championship is being played at the Philadelphia Cricket Club in Flourtown, Pennsylvania. Cricket? Yes, cricket! (I have to admit I know nothing about the sport, and the only cricket I have ever seen being played was in an ancient American Express commercial featuring Jerry Senfeld). Dating back to 1854, the Philadelphia Cricket Club says they are one of the oldest sporting clubs in the U.S. of A. (Membership costs are not listed, which means you can be sure that I can't afford it. Then again, I would never set foot in any club with a dress code prohibiting see-through fabric, bare midriffs, tank tops, and overly revealing shorts and skirts.) But they offer more than just cricket. They also have tennis, pickleball, squash, swimming, trapshooting, and of course, golf. This place ain't exactly Bushwood Country Club. Their golf course was designed by the legendary A.W. Tillinghast, who, as Judge Smails would say, is "no slouch," so we should be in for a treat.

However, as this is a TOUR stop without provenance, I have no strong feelings about who to pick. While Pennsylvania isn't considered part of New England, it is close enough that my guy should have many fans in attendance, so I will choose him based on regional proximity. A pro since 2008, this fiery competitor and Vermont native has 7 PGA TOUR wins to his name, including the PGA Championship in 2011. A win here would almost certainly put him in the running to qualify for his own Ryder Cup team, so hopefully he will have a chance to avenge the 2012 loss and finally be able to open his suitcase. He has sort of been dabbling with a mustache that makes him look like Selleck in Magnum P.I. so we will see if he shows up sporting facial hair this week. Put your hand together for the St. John's University standout, close friend of Michael Jordan, and proud member of the Boston Common Golf TGL team, oh Captain, my Captain, Mr. Keegan Bradley!   

We also have a deescalated event for those who didn't make the Truist. Welcome to the ONEflight Myrtle Beach Classic! It seems that ONEflight is a...private charter jet service? Who is this marketing being targeted at? It is as if the big shots at ONEflight said, "We need to reach more customers. Guys who sit on their couches on Sundays watching secondary PGA TOUR events buried at odd times on the Golf Channel are a demographic we are missing out on. Let's sponsor a golf tournament. Sure, the entire purse probably wouldn't cover the cost of chartering one of our planes, but at least we are getting our brand in front of people!" If I can't afford to join the Philadelphia Cricket Club, I sure as hell can't afford a private jet! In any case, pickings are slim, but I have a good feeling about this guy. At last week's Byron Nelson, he had a bizarre, self-reported penalty involving a setting on his rangefinder ("I will take 'Things that never happened to Bobby Jones' for $400, Ken."), therefore he is owed some good karma. From Hattiesburg, Mississippi, give it up for the University of Alabama product, a man so honest you would trust him watch your phone at the bar and know he would never use it to send a raunchy, salacious text to you boss or significant other, Mr. Davis Riley! 

The CJ Cup

Mr. Commish,

It appears that Tom Hoge did not benefit from the Horschel/Chappell "old switcheroo," as it is called. On rare occasions when you see alternates getting into tournaments, miracles occur. The best example of this is John Daly and his astonishing 1991 PGA Championship victory at Crooked Stick. Team ChapHo's valiant response to this last minute lineup change was to make the cut, finish in dead last place, and barely cover their expenses for the week. Needless to say, nobody will be writing books about their 2025 Zurich Classic experience. There will be no Tin Cup-esque reboot featuring two down-on-their-luck pros overcoming the odds and gaining entry into a potentially life changing PGA TOUR event. It could have starred Owen Wilson as Hoge, the unassuming golfer from Fargo, and Ryan Gosling as Chappell facing an uncertain future in a return from injury. Hated rival golfers, the team of Rory McIlroy and Shane Lowry, would be played by Rob McElhenney and Travis Kelce (in his movie acting debut!) respectively. Actors/comedians Adam Ray and Nick Swardson would have provided comic relief as the hilarious caddies. Oh, and the cameos! We would have cameos galore with all your favorite PGA stars, announcers, and analysts. Scarlett Johansson could have taken on the Rene Russo role of psychiatrist/romantic interest (for what it's worth, at 71 years old, Russo is still a smoke show - perhaps a cameo for her as well?). Unfortunately, thanks to Kevin and Tom, now the world will be deprived of this cinematic masterpiece. We just can't have nice things.

We hop back over to the Lone Star State for the CJ Cup Byron Nelson at TPC Craig Ranch in McKinney, TX. The Byron Nelson seems to have been relegated to a middling event with a field somewhat lacking in firepower, but I suppose getting sandwiched between two majors and a $ignature event will do that to a tournament. Not to worry though, as I have this heavy hitter available to me. With seven total international victories including three career PGA TOUR wins at the ripe old age of 22, my guy is currently 38th in the Official World Golf Rankings. This week is basically a home event for him too, as he resides in nearby Dallas and can sleep in his own bed. Known for his great sense of humor, his good friends, Scottie Scheffler and Jordan Spieth, should really be placing copies of this photo on his locker at every tournament just to mess with him. From Seoul, South Korea, a round of applause for the TGL Jupiter Links GC hype man, Thomas the Tank Engine himself, Mr. Tom Kim!  

The Zurich Classic

Mr. Commish,

Poor Alejandro Tosti! He posted a score early on a windy Sunday at the Corales Puntacana and somehow sneaked into second place. Sad to say, thanks to a miniscule purse and a logjam of other golfers at T2, he only netted $243K for his heroic efforts. By comparison, my guy Xander finished T18 at the RBC Heritage and took home $226K, so nearly the same amount. But the good news for Tosti that won't make him want to drink a fifth of tequila and climb up on the roof with a crossbow is that his second place finish in the Dominican Republic also earned him a whopping 95 FedEx Cup points (Novak earned 400 points for runner up at the RBC). Ouch!    

Get ready to throw down some shrimp étouffée and Sazerac cocktails! It's back to the bayou for the Zurich Classic of New Orleans in the census-designated place of Avondale in Jefferson Parish. A rare team event, this one is. And somehow I managed to royally screw myself by already using both Rory McIlroy and Shane Lowry, the defending champions and clear favorites coming into the week. No worries though, as I have a good feeling about these two gentlemen. One of my team members is a two-time winner of the Zurich; once when it was a solo event and once as a team event, so he has the skills to pay the bills around TPC Louisiana. A fierce competitor and fiery member of the TGL champion Atlanta Drive GC team, his interests include the Jacksonville Jaguars and real estate speculation. His partner is the favorite son of Fargo, ND. A mainstay on leaderboards with a win at Pebble Beach to his name, he does have an unfortunate PGA TOUR profile picture that looks like he is the child of Woody Austin and Boo Weekley. However, according to Jordan Spieth, this notorious craps player will never back down when he gets into contention. Collectively, look for "Team Ho" to triumphantly raise the trophy in Louisiana this week. Give it up for Mr. Billy "Billy Ho" Horschel and Tom "Tommy Ho" Hoge! 

The RBC Heritage / Corales Puntacana

Mr. Commish,

The Phil Mickelson Masters Experiment™ was a failure. While Lefty didn't play well, at least he didn't embarrass himself by cutting a whiz in Rae's Creek like a certain amateur (did Ballaster think this was Bushwood Country Club or something?). Some solace can be taken in the fact that my odds of a good finish were slim anyhow. I already used the winner, Rory, as well as other top finishers such as Scottie, Sungjae, and Ludvig. Rose and Reed certainly were not on my radar. Also not up for my consideration was Max Homa who suddenly remembered how to play golf, or the ageless Zach Johnson who turned back the clock and finished well. It is what it is. How about Rory finally winning the Masters though? It does say a lot about goals and perceptions. To a young Rory, the thought of a "Grand Slam" was about winning all of golf's four majors. To me, it was about a plate of pancakes, eggs, and two kinds of greasy breakfast meat at Denny's. Dare to dream!

Exasperated after an emotionally draining Masters, the PGA TOUR drags its weary bones to the low country of South Carolina for the RBC Heritage. Another $ignature Event, this one is. Big bucks are on the line, and I need a rebound, so I will break out one of my remaining heavy hitters. My guy has been showing signs of returning to his good form after spending the early part of the year on injured reserve. He had an okay Masters and didn't really break a sweat en route to a T8 finish, so he should be feeling fresh. From the legendary Class of 2011, let's hear it for the kid from La Jolla, the newest resident of Jupiter, FL, and key member of the New York Golf Club TGL team, Mr. Xander Schauffele! 

But that's not all! We also have a deescalated event in the Caribbean, the Corales Puntacana. My guy started playing golf with a charcoal stick and a ping pong ball when he was a kid. His PLAYERS Championship this year featured a memorable (and wet) hole-in-one on the famed 17th during a practice round. Sitting at 148th in the Official World Golf Rankings, he has been making occasional appearances on leaderboards in recent years. With the big guns in Harbor Town, a tournament in the Dominican Republic could be just what he needs to record his first victory on TOUR. From Rosario, Argentina, give it up for the former Florida Gator, Mr. Alejandro Tosti!

The Masters

Mr. Commish,

Georgia is on my mind as we head to the birthplace of Hulk Hogan, the city of Augusta. After a stroll down Magnolia Lane and soaking in the colorful azaleas at Amen Corner, I have just downed my third pimiento cheese sandwich (they are only $1.50!). Wandering into the clubhouse, you can feel the history and significance of this majestic property. A portrait of Bobby Jones, one of the club founders, hangs over the fireplace. Over there is the bar where Hootie Johnson used to hold court. Past champions Freddie Couples and Zach Johnson are trading old stories over some beers. The amazing Gary Player is in the corner doing pushups, already limbering up for his honorary starter tee shot on Thursday. Peyton and Eli Manning, both members, are at another table talking to Chairman Fred Ridley about the possibility of their Omaha Productions company doing a "ManningCast" for the year's first major. I located an old, crumpled up menu from Bubba Watson's unpopular champions dinner tucked behind a bookcase. From nearby Butler Cabin, I can hear the smooth baritone of Jim Nantz sounding rested and fresh as a daisy since he doesn't call the Final Four anymore. What is it that Jim is saying? 

"Hello, friends, and welcome to The Masters."   

Let's see, I have already used Scottie and Rory, as well as many of the other favorites. Therefore, it is time to think out of the box with a pick so unconventional that, if successful, it will make me look like a mad genius. My guy has worn the coveted Green Jacket not once, not twice, but three times. We forget about him because he is on that "other" tour that usually plays in faraway places and is consequently relegated to the wee hours of morning on FS1. Sure, some will dismiss this pick as crazy because he is older than me (by only three months!). However, he quietly posted a notable 6th place finish at the LIV Golf Miami event on the really tough Doral "Blue Monster" course last week. Peaking at the right time, as they say! If anyone can sleepwalk his way to a good round at Augusta National, it is this man; 54 years old and still hitting bombs. It is time to turn back the clock and add to the record he already owns, the "oldest player to win a major." Three cheers to the former Arizona State Sun Devil standout, 45-time (!) PGA TOUR winner, Captain of HyFlyers GC, and owner of multiple Five Guys burger franchises, the man simply known as "Lefty," Mr. Phil Mickelson!  

Valero Texas Open

Mr. Commish,

This week finds us in San Antonio for the Valero Texas Open, the last event before our first major of the season, The Masters. Speaking of The Masters, I see that the defending champion, Scottie Scheffler, released his champion's dinner menu. Everything looks fantastic, and I wouldn't mind tearing into that wood-fired cowboy ribeye. Given what transpired last year with his arrest at the PGA Championship, I must say I am disappointed that the First Course menu item, "Texas-Style Chili," wasn't playfully named "Jailhouse Chili," which has a storied history in the Texas prison system. Hear me out, they could have some fun with this.Tiger Woods loves a good prank as much as anyone. Assuming he could clear such clubhouse shenanigans with Chairman Fred Ridley, maybe he already has something like the following lined up at the dinner just to mess with Scottie? The wait staff at the Augusta National will serve the chili wearing orange jumpsuits. But that's not all! The "prisoner" servers are also being escorted by a sexy cop like Sgt. Debbie Callahan from the Police Academy movie franchise. A hot blonde in a patrol cap, tight uniform, and aviator sunglasses, ready to frisk Scottie before slapping the cuffs on him as he tries to eat his chili. Everyone would have a great laugh. Actually, this is starting to sound less like a champion's dinner and more like a bachelor party...  

What was I talking about again?

Oh yes, the Valero Texas Open. My guy was the 2021 champion of this event. This 13-time winner has been on the PGA TOUR for...wow, 13 years already. He also has Texas roots, so he should be right at home with good vibes all around. His golf game hasn't been quite what it was earlier in his career, and sure, he had a bit of an adventure last year at the Valero. But he currently sits at 66th in the Official World Golf Rankings, and he is still a little pissed off from being left out of the Arnold Palmer Invitational. That chip on his shoulder should provide a spark as we take a big 'ol bite into the meaty and important part of the golf season. Give it up for the kid from Dallas, husband of Annie, father of Sammy and Sophie, and good friend of JT, Mr. Jordan Spieth! 

Texas Children's Houston Open

A couple of notes from the Valspar Championship:

• One of the game's great characters, Viktor Hovland, saw his game in complete disarray coming into this event, so it was both surprising and fun to see him notch his 7th (!) PGA TOUR victory at the ripe old age of 27. Congratulations to Norway's favorite son, death metal aficionado, and short game magician who will probably be a problem for the USA come Ryder Cup weekend.

• My guy, Adam Scott, had a fairly lackluster T57 finish. The fact that he even made the cut to pick up a little spending cash was due to Neal Shipley. He made a bogey on 18 on Friday that moved the cut line and brought 12 guys into the weekend. Shipley even suggested those players could express their thanks by buying him some Waffle House gift cards, which will hopefully keep him knee deep in scattered, smothered, and covered hash browns for a while. 

With that, we leave the Florida Swing and head to the Lone Star State for the Texas Children's Houston Open. This middling event boasts a pretty deep field and is no doubt being used as a tune-up for our first major of the year, The Masters. My guy has been lingering on leaderboards over the last couple of seasons. Son of Soviet refugees, he is the embodiment of the American Dream. His father was a hedge fund manager, and his mother was a tennis player at Rutgers. As far as I can tell, the only negative is that he graduated from Duke, but nobody can be perfect. Don't let his recent disaster at The PLAYERS Championship fool you; he's a journeyman pro with 3 runner-up finishes (one of them was last year in our backyard at the 3M Open), and his current Official World Golf Ranking of 40th suggests he is due for his first win on the big stage. A round of applause for the kid from Short Hills, NJ, a guy who aspires to own a lot of dogs someday, Mr. Max Greyserman!

The Valspar Championship

Mr. Commish,

Uh-oh! A rather modest result by Tommy Fleetwood, coupled with Rory McIlroy being on an absolute heater in 2025, has suddenly created an unfortunate situation for anyone named Jean Brislance. Just when I thought I was hitting my stride, I suddenly find myself on a bit of a downward slide into second place despite not making horrible picks. Alas, things such as this happen in sportsball. You can perform well and execute your game plan, but sometimes you just get beat. But as the old sportsball clichés go, I must keep my head down, focus on the process, and the result will take care of itself. Onward! 

This week we head to the Florida Gulf Coast for the Valspar Championship at the Innisbrook Resort Copperhead Course in Palm Harbor, and many of the big dogs are taking the week off after consecutive $ignature events. With tournament sponsor, Valspar, being a manufacturer of a wide range of interior and exterior paints, wood stains, and advanced water beading, allow me to begin cutting in with an angled brush to paint a picture of this legend and his career. A14-time winner on the PGA TOUR and winner of the 2013 Masters, he possesses a gorgeous swing that has the beautiful sheen of Valspar Ultra High-Gloss Paint & Primer in "Autumn Glimmer." A veteran of 11 (!) Presidents Cups, he owns the all-time points record for the International squad, a record that will probably last longer than a thick application of Valspar One-Coat Exterior Sealer. At 44 years of age he is still ranked 29th in the world, which speaks to his durability much like that of a good synthetic polyurethane coating. Give it up for Australia's favorite son, resident of (for tax purposes) Crans sur Sierre, Switzerland, and proud member of the last place Boston Common TGL team, Mr. Adam Scott!

The PLAYERS Championship

Mr. Commish,

Rasmus Neergaard-Petersen, you were right there! Your third round 73 left me wondering what might have been, but a valiant charge on Sunday vaulted you into second place at the Puerto Rico Open in your first ever PGA TOUR event. Man, that could have been an all-time great random winning fantasy golf pick if there ever was one. Of course, Scottie Scheffler won more money with his 11th place finish at The Arnie than Rasmus earned for finishing runner up. But, like all the professional athletes say, we don't do this stuff for the money; it's for the thrill of competition, ultimate victory, and the championships. (Oh, who am I kidding? It's all about the money. Damn you, Puerto Rico and your weak, Korn Ferry-esque tournament purse!)

We head to Ponte Vedra Beach for the granddaddy of them all, the strongest field of the year, the biggest money $ignature event on the circuit, The PLAYERS Championship. After a week of squandering Scottie (You know, Squandering Scottie would be a great title for a fantasy golf reality show. I will have my people contact Netflix as soon as I am done typing this!), I don't have the option of picking the defending champion. Even worse, I have already used most of the top betting favorites, so even Las Vegas is conspiring against me. But I do have this guy. A Ryder Cup hero for the Europeans, he has 8 career wins internationally. For some reason, he hasn't gotten it done on the PGA TOUR just yet. I mean, the dude has had 5 runner up finishes, and finished third place another 5 times. He is due! There would be no better place to notch that first win stateside than a shotmaker's paradise like TPC Sawgrass. Three cheers for the pride of Southport, Merseyside, England, husband of Clare, father of Oscar, Mo, and Frankie, actor and influencer, Golfing Jesus himself, Mr. Tommy Fleetwood!

Arnold Palmer Invitational / Puerto Rico Open

Mr. Commish,

A few notes from the Cognizant Classic:

• Very cool first win for bucket hat aficionado, Joe Highsmith. And his caddie is none other than Joe LaCava's son!

• Fun seeing the amateur wunderkind, Luke Clanton, secure his TOUR Card. He celebrated with Chipotle, as everyone in golf seems to do. 

• Brutal four putt by Keith Mitchell, but at least he has a sense of humor about it. 

• Hero of the week? Billy Horschel: Gator Wrangler. 

This week The Florida Swing continues as we trek north to the Bay Hill Club & Lodge in Orlando for the Arnold Palmer Invitational presented by MasterCard! All the big guns are here for this $ignature event, and there is no reason for me to overthink this pick. Finally recovered from a freak kitchen accident at Christmas, and coming off a year that saw his unfortunate incarceration, he enters this season wiser, more motivated, and ready to lay waste to anything that stands in his way. In fact, the only thing that could prevent him from repeating as the winner of The Arnie would be another On Patrol Live-esque brush with Johnny Law (which would also send the PGA TOUR's recidivism rate skyward!). But that seems unlikely, as his sweet wife, Meredith, will no doubt keep him in line and out of handcuffs. A round of applause for the World #1, the former Texas Longhorn standout, hardened criminal, and taker of Tony Romo's money, Mr. Scottie Scheffler!

Not to be forgotten, we also have a B-squad tournament; a deescalated event, as it were, for those who did not qualify for the big money shindig in Orlando. Welcome to the Puerto Rico Suave Open at the Grand Reserve Golf Club in Rio Grande, Puerto Rico Suave! With an extremely depleted field, pickings are slimmer than my chances of landing a date with Uma Thurman. It alarms me that we have an ever increasing number of golfers I have never heard of, and my guy is one of those golfers. His profile page on the TOUR website is mostly blank and doesn't even have a photo. However, this relative unknown is somehow ranked 88th in the world and was a three time winner on the European Challenge Tour just last year. Why the heck can't he be a Cinderella story and break through for his first win in his very first PGA TOUR event? Put your hands together for the former Oklahoma State Cowboy, the pride of Nivå, Denmark, and a big fan of some good, homemade stegt flæsk, Mr. Rasmus Neergaard-Petersen!

Cognizant Classic in the Palm Beaches

Mr Commish,

After the massive failure that was The Matt Wallace Experience™, I found myself hoping the big hitting South African, Aldrich Potgieter, would take home the trophy at the Mexico Open. My mom started calling him "Potsticker," which I thought was pretty good. She might have coined one there! Anyhow, Potsticker was bested in a playoff thanks to an unbelievably lucky break. The Golfing Gods bestowed a gift upon the eventual winner when his errant tee shot miraculously bounced out of the woods and back into play (I mean, ask your countryman, Tapio "The Hat" Pulkkanen, how shots that poor usually turn out!). Now, I like to think I follow the sport of golf closely and tend to know quite a few players that might be deep in the weeds for many. I honestly and legitimately have never heard of the winner, Brian "Glen" Campbell. This grinder and journeyman was apparently a roommate of Jake Knapp, who was...last year's winner of the Mexico Open? Uncanny. (Note to self for 2026; find out if Knapp and Campbell had another roommate and pick him for the Mexico Open next year). 

The PGA TOUR moves to the Sunshine State for the start of The Florida Swing! Welcome to the Cognizant Classic in The Palm Beaches, a.k.a., the tournament formerly known as the Honda Classic. We are blessed with a few more heavy hitters playing this week because so many of them make their homes in the area. My guy, currently 18th in the OWGR, is a fantastic shotmaker who will make short work of "The Bear Trap" at Jack's PGA National. Back in the old country, he was proficient in Gaelic football, rugby and hurling (I am assuming the "hurling" being referred to is some kind of sport and not something that happens after a pint of Guinness too many?) I had good luck with an Irishman a few weeks ago, so why not pick another? Playing out of nearby Jupiter, give it up for the drinking buddy of Rory, former Open Champion, and Ryder Cup veteran, Mr. Shane Lowry!    

Mexico Open at VidantaWorld

Mr. Commish,

I am not normally one to delve into sports that involve pucks, sticks, and really smelly sweaters. But did you by chance see that "4 Nations" hockey game last weekend between the USA and Canada? Three fights in the first 9 seconds! Holy crap, it was like Slap Shot in real life. Incredible. You know, to spice things up a little bit, I think I agree with golf writer Claire Rogers; we need this at the Ryder Cup! Just imagine some European golfer, preferably one with LIV Golf affiliation (I'm looking at you, Tyrrell Hatton), starts mouthing off to the American PGA TOUR stars and fists start flying at the opening ceremony. Then they must ensure that Cantlay and Rory are paired together at some point so their simmering feud eventually turns into physical violence. It would be a ratings bonanza. Pass the popcorn, I am here for it! 

The TOUR heads south of the border for the Mexico Open at VidantaWorld. I think last year this was just called the Mexico Open at Vidanta, so I am not sure how or why "World" got tacked onto the title. Do you think VidantaWorld is anything like Wally World? Fingers crossed that it is! Anyhow, the Mexico Open is a middling event, and a lot of the big dogs are doing the TGL this week, so pickings are slim. Only 4 of the top 50 in the world are teeing it up. However, events like this spell opportunity for those who are not household names. Currently ranked 72nd in the Official World Golf Rankings, my guy has a ton of experience but really seems to be flying below the radar. He has won 5 times on the DP World Tour, 11 times internationally, and notched his first PGA TOUR win at the 2023 Corales Puntacana Championship. Quite athletic, he was apparently really good at cricket, football (well, "soccer" as we know it), and rugby. The European team could use a tough guy like that on their squad if the Ryder Cup turns into fisticuffs, and a win this week would get him one step closer to making the team. From Hillingdon, England, give it up for the former Jacksonville State University standout, huge Manchester United fan, and a man who survived the most elaborate prank ever at the hands of Eddie Pepperell and managed not to kill him afterwards, Mr. Matt Wallace! 

Waste Management Phoenix Open

Mr. Commish,

Soothsayer (noun) - /so͞oTHˌsāər/ definition:

1. a person who is supposedly able to foresee the future. 

2. see Jean Brislance.

Roooorrrryyyyyy McIIIIllllrrroooooyyyyyyyyy! Clearly, Irish eyes were smiling upon me (even though I am mostly of Swiss, French, and Norwegian descent) as Northern Ireland's favorite son joined a prestigious list of winners at the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am. Sure, Rory is one of the best golfers in the world. But he has rarely played his finest golf in California, and his track record at Pebble wasn't the greatest, either. At the risk of gloating, I must say what a terrific pick by yours truly! As Carl Spackler said in Caddyshack; "I have to laugh, because I have outfinessed myself." In any case, I am off to a fantastic start this season. May the Golfing Gods continue to look upon me with favor and be gracious to me. 

We head to the Arizona desert for the biggest rager on the PGA TOUR, the wild and crazy WM Phoenix Open at TPC Scottsdale. Let's see what chaos will ensue at the 16th hole this time around. And there is no word as to whether or not our good friend, Rob Zielinski, will be allowed to return after his shenanigans a couple years ago. One thing we know for sure; it is going to be fun. And few people love having fun more than this fellow. Currently ranked 19th in the world, my guy has an unusual bag that contains two 8-irons (?), a 9-wood, and a 2-hybrid he calls "Frank." There was a time when he used to intentionally shank golf balls at the range to psyche out his opponents. Now he is giving back by teaching the younger generation how to do it. With good showings at this event in the past, there is no better place for him to notch the second win of his young career. Three cheers for the former Pepperdine Waves standout and stud chess player, Mr. Sahith Theegala! 

The Genesis Invitational

Mr. Commish,

An uncharacteristically bad pick for me last week! My man Sahith (who takes credit for the rise of Scottie Scheffler, by the way) never got it going and ended up in T57. The best thing I saw at the WM Phoenix Open? Shooter McGavin reenacting the gold jacket chase scene from Happy Gilmore.

This is pretty deep in the weeds with everything that went on in the sports world last weekend. But did you see what Sébastien Gros did on the HotelPlanner Tour (this is a real golf league, sort of akin to a Korn Ferry Tour across the pond) at the Cape Town Open? If I told you he finished the tournament in T59 at +2 after going 75-75 on the weekend, what do you think happened in his first two rounds? Following an opening round 80, this guy pulled off the greatest non-fiction Tin Cup second round of all time, posting a course record 60! What must his caddie have been thinking at the start of the second round? Your man blew up with an 80 yesterday, you're pissed off, figuring today is going to end up with yet another trunk slamming missed cut. Then he goes out and has a 20 shot swing? Amazing. Unlike Tin Cup, Gros didn't end up with Rene Russo in the end. Still, that is pretty wild. Golf is a goofy game. 

We return to the state of California for the playing of the Genesis Invitational. For one time only, it is being hosted at a venue we visited a few weeks ago; Torrey Pines in La Jolla. A "$ignature Event," this one is, with mucho dinero on the line. My guy has the pedigree to tackle this impressive track. At only 31 years old, he has already notched an impressive 15 career wins and several Ryder and Presidents Cup appearances for the U.S. side. Coming off a bit of a down year, he appears to be rounding into form in 2025. His recent letter to the PGA TOUR players imploring everyone to give more media access probably garnered a few eye rolls. But hey, he is a new dad to Molly with more bills to pay, so you can't fault him for trying. Three cheers for the kid from Louisville, good friend of Jordan, and the face of the Atlanta Drive TGL team, Mr. Justin Thomas!

AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am

Mr. Commish,

Oh, poor Ludvig showed such promise! After teasing me with an opening round 63, the windy day on Thursday, coupled with a mysterious illness over the weekend, relegated him to a rather mediocre 42nd place finish. Not sure what happened, if he got a hold of some bad barbacoa at his beloved Chipotle or whatnot, but it was a disappointing use of the Swedish Terminator. On to the next...

For the apparently Bill Murray-less AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am, we have another high dollar signature event with many heavy hitters to select from. The Chosen One, Scottie Scheffler, is making his first start of the season coming off a bizarre hand injury over Christmas. Will I be taking the World #1? Well, I am suspicious of the injury, any potential rust, and the off chance he ends up doing a perp walk at the Monterey County jail (a precedent was set last year after all). The answer is, no I will not! Of course, I am also the guy who famously told my roommates way back in 1997, "There's no WAY Tiger Woods is going to win The Masters!", so take that for what it is worth. I will probably end up eating my words. However, none of this matters because I think World #3 will get it done.

With 26 PGA TOUR wins to his name, this guy has been in terrific form for a long time now. Long forgotten is the disappointment of last year's close call at the US Open, and his November win at the DP World Tour Championship in Dubai should make for a nice launching pad into 2025. He's always in contention, and a win at Pebble Beach would look pretty good on an already impressive curriculum vitae. Give it up for the greatest golfer to come out of Northern Ireland and the face of the TGL Boston Common Golf team, Mr. Rory McIlroy!

The American Express 

Mr. Commish,

With two weeks complete, one second place finish and another top ten has me in the lead! I am a pretty happy guy. How happy? Happy as Boo Weekley driving a hydraulic excavator, my friend! The 2025 season is off to a ripping good start.

We move to the mainland this week for the start of the West Coast Swing with what once was known as the Bob Hope Desert Classic, but now simply goes by the name, The American Express. Do we know why the PGA TOUR seems to have gotten away from the celebrity pro-ams at events such as this one and Pebble Beach? I mean, they still have a pro-am, but they don't really publicize it. And long gone are the days where the links were graced with the likes of Burt Lancaster, Clint Eastwood, and George Lopez (and George still seems none too pleased about it). In this day of digital content creation, one would think it would be a social media gold mine. Is there some sort of pro-am task force we can talk to about this?

Anyhow, my guy this week is a true road warrior. He played in a whopping 26 events last year. At 26 years old, my man has already been a pro for...10 years? Wow! Currently 18th in the Official World Golf Rankings, he has been playing some awesome golf. How is it that he only has 2 career wins? Mark my words, that will change this week in La Quinta. Give it up the pride of Cheongju, South Korea, a stalwart on the Presidents Cup International squad, dancer extraordinaire, and a man his caddie refers to as "The Prince," Mr. Sungjae Im!

The Sony Open 

Mr. Commish,

I see the TGL is finally starting up this week. Several of the players that were just at The Sentry are taking part, so they have to hustle to get from Hawai'i to Palm Beach. By the time this is published, the first match will have taken place, but the concept sounds interesting; very video-gamish, team-oriented, plus a few nontraditional elements such as the introduction of a shot clock, and even time-outs. But I say, why stop there? To spice things up, I propose the following additional rules:

• First tee honors are determined by a spelling contest (unless the player attended Georgia, in which case they automatically tee off last).

• A player is permitted to blast an air horn during an opponent's backswing no more than twice per round. 

• The player with the shortest drive on any Par 5 must finish the remainder of the hole in his underwear.

• Teams may not fire unless first fired upon.

• The "snake prank" is allowed on Par 3 holes only.

• For player safety, a diving clothesline from the top rope is only allowed when your opponent is putting. 

• All team celebrations must be performed in the style of Riverdance and must end with a Pete Weber crotch chop.

• Any tiebreakers are determined by the team with the best pick-up line as judged by Amanda Ballionis. 

Those at Kapalua who aren't in the TGL will hop from Maui to Oahu for the first full-field event of 2025; the Sony Open in Hawai'i. My guy is currently ranked 30th in the Official World Golf Rankings. This four-time winner, including one at the Sony, experienced a career renaissance of sorts last year and qualified for his first team event. Look for his confidence to continue at the Waialae Country Club this week. Give it up for a man who plays a mean guitar, and whose professional artist wife, Teil, mopped the floor with the other wives and girlfriends at the Presidents Cup paint pub last fall, Mr. Russell Henley! 

Welcome to 2025! 

To kick off a new season, I present to you the most anticipated golfing reality show in years that will make Full Swing on Netflix look something like a second rate Real Housewives of Iowa City program. This is the story...of seven golfers...picked to live in a house...and have their lives taped....to see what happens...when people stop being polite...and start getting real. Welcome to MTV's The Real World: Butler Cabin. Introducing this year's cast:

• MARIO MCILROY and SHANE KELCE: One is an Irish-Italian video game enthusiast and golfer extraordinaire. The other is a meathead jock and frequent pro-am participant. The two are inseparable mates. However, will Kelce's relationship with Taylor Swift create a rift between Mario and the housemates?

• URSULA ST. TROON: The cold and calculating femme fatale. This sassy blonde from the Ladies European Tour smashes drives on the course and turns heads at the Augusta National clubhouse bar. But watch your back! She would be willing to stab you in it for a pack of Newport 100's. 

• BILLY JOE FLENER: Looper, crooner, and devout Kentucky Wildcats superfan. He is as comfortable reading a green as he is belting out a Garth Brooks tune on karaoke night. The only convict in the house, recently released from jail after serving time for mopery. 

• NELLY NIBLICK: The all-American girl next door and reigning player of the year. Dominant and confident on the links, but shy and sweet off the course, she will have all of us hoping she can eventually find true love. Frequently at odds with bad girl, Ursula. 

• CLEEK BUFFINGTON: Caddie and underwear model. Notoriously cheap and known for staying in questionable hotels while on the road, Butler Cabin will be a step up from his usual accommodations. Will his penny pinching proclivities be a turnoff for his new roommates?

• ROWDY AIKEN: Golfer, part-time TV analyst, raconteur, and native South Carolinian. Often drunk, shirtless, and in violation of the Augusta National dress code, what he lacks in couth and tact, he more than makes up for in his ability to bring the fun. 

Check local listings for broadcast times and streaming options...

The Sentry 

During my elementary school days, I distinctly remember "Hawaii" being spelled without an apostrophe. I am not sure when "Hawai'i" gained the apostrophe, but nevertheless that is where we find ourselves this week for the traditional tournament of champions; The Sentry at the hilly, breezy Kapalua Plantation Course. This event is always a bit of a crapshoot, as we never really know who is in form coming out of the offseason. Might as well just go with the #1 player in the world! Wait a minute...he cut his hand at Christmas dinner and is out 3-4 weeks? Scratch that. Instead, I think I will take Viktor Hovland. Hold on...you are telling me he broke his toe on a bed frame? Wow! Alrighty then, I am just going to pick this guy and hope nothing bad happens to him. Currently ranked 4th in the world, he has a good track record here, has some family ties to the islands, and is long overdue for a win. Give it up for the favorite son of La Cañada, California, Mr. Collin Morikawa!