Fantasy Golf 2024

From the Comish:

Monday, May 20th

I didn't watch any golf this weekend. It looks like the boys move North of the border this week.


RBC Canadian Open 

Hamilton Golf & Country Club

Hamilton, ON • CAN

PURSE = $9,400,000





Musings by  Jéan:   [2024 Archive]

The Charles Schwab Challenge

Thursday, May22nd

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

 

TGABTPMO League Member Arrested

 

ONAMIA – 20-May-2024 – Jean Brislance, a long time TGABTPMO League member, was arrested over the weekend after an altercation with a golf course ranger at Izatys Resort in Onamia, MN.


Brislance and the ranger came to blows after a dispute over driving the golf cart off the path. Witnesses report that the ranger yelled at Brislance to keep the cart on the path and grabbed his arm as he tried to drive by. Brislance said, "Get lost, you old fart!" and kept driving, dragging the ranger for approximately 10 yards. Upon stopping, the ranger got up, pulled Brislance out of the cart and threw him on the ground. Using his ninja-like skills, Brislance quickly took control of the situation, executing a takedown by lunging at the knees, and then performed a textbook "leg-trap camel clutch" hold to subdue the ranger. Police were called to the scene. Brislance was taken into custody and hauled away to the Mille Lacs County jail where he was booked on charges of 3rd degree felony assault and 3rd degree felony elder abuse.


Brislance's attorney, Laurent Lefebvre, Esq., told the press this was all a big misunderstanding.


"My client did nothing wrong," Lefebvre said defiantly. "Between the 9th and 10th holes, there was a significant traffic jam on the cart path. Numerous golfers were huddled around Sindee, a rather fetching, blonde beverage cart girl who was serving up drinks. My client drove off the path along the edge of the tee box to avoid the congestion. It was then that the ranger angrily confronted him. Upon being grabbed by this man wearing a faded golf shirt, bad shorts, and tube socks that made him look like a gym teacher from the 1970's, my client thought this was a random stranger trying to assault him and fought back. He didn't realize this was a golf course employee. Had the ranger been in an official resort uniform, all of this could have been easily avoided."

Patrons on the golf course appeared to agree with Lefebvre's assessment.


"There was just so much confusion," said one witness who wished to remain anonymous because his wife thought he was at work as opposed to being at the golf course. "I mean, Sindee attracts a crowd wherever she goes. It didn't help that she was wearing a red halter top and 'Daisy Dukes,' so needless to say it was especially crowded around the bev cart today. Also, the cart path rules are being enforced inconsistently. I drove off the path to get around the crowd a few minutes before Jean did, and nobody stopped me." 


Continuing his remarks to the press, Lefebvre added, "These charges against my client are bogus, and we aren't looking for any kind of settlement. Either the County Attorney drops the charges, or we will look forward to fighting them in court. If anyone should be charged, it should be the ranger for first laying hands on my client."  


Thanks to the quick work of his attorney, Brislance was released from jail and made it back to the course for an afternoon tee time. "I did some stretching in the jail cell, so I am good to go," said Brislance. "Let's play some golf!"


Following his round, Brislance was greeted by many well wishers at the clubhouse bar. Thunderous applause and chants of "Free Jean!" could be heard. 

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My pick: 

I will keep this short since I have been blathering on long enough! For the Charles Schwab Challenge, my guy is a potential star in the making. He is a young hotshot who already has one win this year, and he is coming off of a nice finish at the PGA Championship. Playing out of Edmond, OK, give it up for the Oklahoma State standout and former roommate of Viktor Hovland, Mr. Austin Eckroat!