Fantasy Golf 2024

We completed our 26th "These Guys Are Beginning To Piss Me Off" fantasy golf season. First, the big awards:

1st Place - Taylor Higdon = $142.50

2nd Place - Jean Brislance = $71.25

3rd Place - Bryan Miller = $42/75

4th Place - Brett Turnquist = $28.50

Most 1st Place Pics - Taylor, Jean, Bryan, Scott (4) = $5 each

Most Top 10 Picks - Jean, Bryan (13) = $5 each

Most CUTs - Todd (16) = $5

Almost Last Place - Todd  = $5

League Member of the Year - Taylor Higdon - Taylor grabbed the lead with and held it for 16 straight weeks at the end of the season.

Biggest fall from Grace - Your beloved Comish - Held the league lead after week 4, then plummeted down to 11th place by the end.

Surprise Pick of the Year - Bryan and Scott with Robert Mcintyre. Nobody thought this would happen at the Scottish Open

Stupid Futile Geasture of the Year - Todd with Tiger Woods at the US Open

The I'm Picking the Drunkest Team - Jean and Jenny picked team of McIlroy and Lowry for the Zurich Classic. 

There is NO WAY these two didn't play at least one round drunk.

I Ain't No Lemming Award - Rob Scottie Scheffler. Everyone else in the league picked Scottie..except for Rob. Everyone else.

Best Player Name of the Year - Gary with Nico Echavaria. Awesome.

Worst Attempt at Creating a Player Nick Name - Brett with Max “Okla” Homa!

"I love Cameron Young" Award - David, who attempted to pick Cameron Young THREE TIMES

"I love Joel Dahmen" Award  - Scott picked Joel Dahmen. He was the only person who picked Joel this year. 

League Fees Due!

Its time to collect the $25 league fees. Here are your options:

• • Venmo = @Eric-A-Paine

  • Zelle = eric.paine@gmail.com -- 612.581.3890

  • Check = Eric Paine, 10353 101st Place North, Maple Grove, MN 55369

Paid:

All paid!

The Wyndham Championship

Mr. Commish,

Here is some actual footage of our champion, Taylor, demolishing everyone in the league this year. Not only did he make some amazing picks, but he is a diabolical mind reader and a soothsayer as we duplicated several picks at crucial times down the stretch. It got to the point where I was wrapping my head in tin foil to prevent him from seeing my thoughts! Alas, that did not work and my title defense was simply not meant to be. Congratulations to Taylor; a formidable opponent and a worthy champion! 

Time to clean out the bookmarks! I save amusing golf-related things over the course of the season for possible inclusion in my musings. There were a few random ones that never found a home but were too good not to share:

• If Sergio Garcia ever withdraws from a tournament with a back injury, this is why. Good Lord, these two would be ringers in the World Wife Carrying Championship!

• Phil Mickelson: Line Dancer!

• Smylie Kaufman with an all-time great story about Scottie Scheffler outside the gates of The Memorial (the week after Scottie was arrested).

• Pro tip for the gentlemen: if you are golfing and you aren't supposed to be, bring your work attire in case your wife Facetimes you. (Actually, this might not work if your employment typically keeps you indoors, but it's worth a shot!)

• We live in a world where Geno Bonnalie (Joel Dahmen's caddie) moonlights as an underwear ambassador.

As we wrap up the 2024 season, we are left with many unanswered questions. Will the PGA TOUR and LIV Golf kiss and make up? Will Rory's and Tiger's "TGL" league finally get off the ground? Will Cameron Young ever win a tournament? Who will be the next golfer to get arrested (my money is on Hatton)? Will Viktor Hovland ever find true love? We will look for these answers and more when our merry little league tees it up at the Sentry Open in 2025!

Thanks for another fun season!