Queer Curiosity and Identity Formation Growing up in the Church and School

Season 1, Episode 2

In this episode, Fareea and Tarchithaa welcome their first guest, Araly (she/they), as they discuss their experiences navigating religious expectations and unacceptance instilled by rhetoric heard in religious and academic spaces. Growing up in a predominantly Dominican church and eventually attending a Jesuit Institution, Araly takes the listeners through moments of queer clarity and education throughout her life.

Connect with Araly!

TikTok: @_araly

Instagram: @aralylangomas

Youtube: Araly Langomas

Find us on Instagram @theeqilproject.

This season of the EQIL Podcast is sponsored by the E. Rhodes and Leona B. Carpenter Foundation.

Full Episode Transcript

EQIL EP 2 Draft:  Queer Curiosity Informs Identity in the Church and School, with Araly

Tarchithaa: Hi, guys. My name is Tarchithaa, and you are ...

Fareea: Fareea...

Tarchithaa: and um, I go by she, her pronouns. I'm 22 years old. I was born in Malaysia, and I am of Tamil ancestry. I moved to New York when I was about 11 or 12. Um, and I identify as queer. That's, that's me in, in a nutshell.

Fareea: I'll introduce myself now. My name's Fareea. I go by he him pronouns I will also be graduating Fordham by the time this podcast comes out currently, I'm a psych major and my family are immigrants from Guyana.

Tarchithaa: So, without further ado, we can get started with introducing our first guest.

Araly: I'm Araly. I am a marketing major at Fordham University Gabelli School of Business. I am an economics minor, and I graduate May 2024, so I'm in the same graduation year as them. I [00:01:00] use she/ they pronouns, and for a little bit about me and my family. My parents are both from Dominican Republic. They were born there. And then around the time my mom was 18, she came to the U. S. And my dad came to the U. S. when he was around 16, like high school age. So they met in the Bronx and like they fell in love or whatever and it was like through church. At the time they were both Seventh Day Adventists.

Today, my mom is still a Seventh Day Adventist and now my dad is more of an atheist. And so growing up, I did go to like church every Saturday. It was a Seventh Day Adventist church where the primary language spoken was Spanish, so it was all in Spanish. And I grew up in the Bronx for around four years, from age zero to four.

But then we moved to New Jersey, where [00:02:00] I lived up until I was 18, and then I came back to the Bronx to work as an RA at Fordham and be a student at Fordham.

Tarchithaa: Ooh, nice, solid intro. Um, to explain what the EQIL project is, um, it is, an initiative that's one, like, we really want to highlight queer trans BIPOC experiences and immigrant narratives within those experiences.

Yeah, I guess just to jump into it, um, what was your experience with community and, like, faith and spirituality? What is your experience with finding queer community with your upbringing?

Araly: So, it was actually, I think, pretty difficult because growing up, I didn't realize I was queer. Like, I was, like, deeply in the closet. But the closet was glass. Because everyone around me, would look at me and be like, Oh, like, you're gay, right? And I'd be like, what? Um, but basically, like, growing up in the Seventh [00:03:00] day Adventist church, and being in a church where everyone is, like, um, Most people were immigrants, or most people, like, their first language was Spanish.

A lot of these other countries that they're coming from are a lot more conservative than they are here in the United States. And so, church did not feel like a place where I would be accepted. And so it was, like, really difficult growing up there. And like, kind of feeling like I had to hide a part of myself.

 For more background, I identify as bi and queer. It was really difficult for me to like, have these feelings, but not really be able to express them to like, tell my parents or like, tell my family or tell people at my church. In fact, at my church there were other queer kids as well, but like, when one of them would come out, there would be like whispers in the church, rumors and stuff like that. It was something that people did not feel comfortable bringing [00:04:00] up and people would try to keep it quiet because they knew that gossip was spread. Also, at my church it was also a thing like if you were divorced or whatever there was also gossip around that too. So, yeah. It was, it was tough.

It was tough.

Tarchithaa: Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, I get that. I was raised Hindu. Um, being Hindu in Malaysia and having that cultural experience and, then like, being in the United States one of the biggest connections to our culture that my parents had at this point was religion.

 So my parents really started to like, um, they've always been religious, but like they, there was a support system for that. I think for a lot of , not all immigrants, but I think for a lot of immigrants, religion is a support system. I feel like a lot of immigrants when they move here, , depend on religion as a way to stay connected to their culture because it's so intertwined. 

 By the time high school rolled around, I was really struggling with my relationship with religion and stuff like that. A part of it had to do because I was queer, but another part of it had to do that I was part of the Indian diaspora, and so there was a gap there. [00:05:00] Like, if you're directly from India versus if you're from the diaspora, even though we were all under the same religion, like, there was this huge gap there.

And um, I personally knew people, who were queer, and, I saw that, like, what you're describing with, like, people will talk, like, you don't say anything, like, I totally saw that happening. But yeah. Um, Fareea, you have any thoughts?

Fareea: I think that it's interesting that, that topic was brought up in a religious setting, because, for me, I'm also from the South Asian diaspora. And, I grew up, going to a mosque that was very, like, it was very cultural. So almost, everyone there was Guyanese and immigrants from Guyana. And It was just like not talked about queerness did not come up at all.

It was kind of like everyone knew that it was this, bad thing, I guess. But no one talks about it. I don't remember, my parents, mentioning anything about, like, being [00:06:00] queer or anything or even, any, lectures about it. So it was just, completely separate from religious spaces.

Tarchithaa: That's really interesting.

Araly: My experience was, like, I remember, like, there was obviously a language barrier, because, you know, while I have family members that speak Spanish, and I have family members that are very fluent, I'm definitely not as fluent as, like, the people were at my church, and so, the interesting thing, though, is that our church was a shared space with other communities in the town.

So the Bibles that they had there belonged to the other church, so they were in English. So sometimes while they would be preaching in Spanish and I'd be like, I'm too tired to like try to decode what's being said right now, and I'm also like 11. So, um, I would like, uh, just pick up the Bible and I would like read it and that's kind of like how I would get like, well, what does the Bible say about queer people?

 Because it's, it's not like I was asking those questions at church in Spanish, I [00:07:00] was, like, just, like, picking up the Bible reading it, or going online, like, seeing what other people are saying, or seeing how it's interpreted.

Tarchithaa: Yeah. Oh, that's so cool. I feel like I somewhat went about it the same way, where I was, like I could, at a very young age, I could recognize that there's something that people say, and that there's something that, scriptures, actually say. And I wonder if it was, a survival thing, but I knew from a young age that I had to prove things by people's own logic, if that makes sense.

 But I feel like if you're gonna use God's word or whatever to tell people, you know, X, Y, and Z and like, be a hater, then my logic was like, I'll use your own language to, to like, to tell you you're wrong sort of thing. Um, but like that's how I came about Hinduism where I was just like, how are we going to hate on Um, and this is not even talking about trans identities, right? This is literally just talking about sexuality. Like, sexuality should never matter because it's your jivatma that matters, which is like the soul. Then I was like, your body is just a vehicle. Like, that's the whole like schtick in Hinduism. So I was kind of just like, [00:08:00] really interesting that the body is just a vessel and yet we, we prioritize it.

And that's when I was just like, oh, maybe it's not really a religious thing. But it's like a cultural thing. And then, like, you really trace it back and why is it a cultural thing? Oh, like, , you can't fight every generation if you're also fighting other things. At least the way I perceived it was, like, if you're also fighting colonialism, you can't also fight to preserve every aspect of your culture, so some aspects of your culture are gonna get, , generalized the imposition ends up becoming your own culture and like context I grew up in Malaysia for 11 years And I always knew that queerness was a thing. Um, and in Malaysia, if you were in art spaces, specifically like traditional art spaces, even though it was rooted in religion, like, queerness was a way to sort of explore there. And so, um, It's weird because it's like I want to say like people directly didn't talk about it but that hush hush culture still remained.

Two things I'm saying the first one being that I totally get what you're saying with the whole trying to read the Scripture or [00:09:00] read I guess, like, tangible pieces of the religion that people see as the arbitrator of the rules, sort of thing, to, like, almost come up with a defense to defend your identity and your being in itself.

And the second one being the fact that hush hush culture exists. When that hush hush culture exists, I feel like that's also evidence that queer people exist. Because you wouldn't be so hush hush about it if this wasn't a real thing.

Araly: Another thing about the scriptures is that these books, I'm talking specifically about the bible at least, like, It's a book that's been out for centuries, and it's had to have been translated from language to language. Like, this book has passed through the hands of so many people, and it's like, for example, there's one argument of, "well, the Bible says that man shall not lay with man," but apparently there's interpretations that like, if you go back to the OG, the original, that like, the word that's used could be translated to mean boy.

So right, like [00:10:00] when you think of something that could either mean man shall not lay with boy or man shall not lay with man, like if the original says man shall not lay with boy, clearly there's two things going on here, right? Some people could interpret that as, oh, the issue is that they're the same gender.

Other people would interpret that as Oh, um, that's a minor.

Tarchithaa: So like, touching on the fact that we go to Fordham, um, we have to take theology classes. Like, that's a requirement for us. I took a church in controversy class, um, and we talked about different ways that the Catholic church has been controversial. We talked about that specifically, like that phrasing and where that comes from and apparently the story from the Bible where that phrasing comes in is like it's like a wartime story and from what I learned in class and we compared with the different languages it was like you shouldn't be a pedophile kind of thing it was it was like a um like grown men shouldn't be sexually assaulting, like, minors in the name of war, so I think it's really weird because I've heard that, [00:11:00] um, like, at least, so I wasn't raised Christian, so, like, I didn't know the history behind it, so taking this theology class was super helpful for me to understand where these arguments come from, so I have heard what you're saying in a class taught by someone who's a theology PhD professor And I feel like that's a pretty valid source.

Araly: And then like another story is basically like there's this town where like everyone does a whole bunch of things that are considered immoral or bad. I think it is like the town of like Sodom or something like that.

Tarchithaa: Yeah, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Araly: Um, and basically like in this story, there's like an angel. Who I think has a man's name or something. And then this angel guy, like I don't know, he gets approached by some men and basically like the men are trying to do stuff to him.

 So it's like, the, like a person could interpret that story as, Oh, the problem here is these guys were trying to sleep with an angel who's a guy. But then, I don't know, if you ask me, like, the issue here is they were trying to SA (sexually assault) an angel.

 So I guess the thing here is [00:12:00] that because the Bible can be interpreted in different ways and because people throughout centuries can interpret language to mean different things, this is not me going to a religion and being like "hey I'm going completely against like what God is telling you." I'm saying, "no, I'm not questioning God here I'm questioning people." I'm questioning people's alternative agendas to push certain ideas onto other people like People can push their own narratives with their own words in the way that they preach and how they choose to interpret something, and then spread that knowledge to other people.

Tarchithaa: Right. I feel like when we talk about being so culturally connected with the religion, and then people like in general, having their own agendas, I noticed a pattern of this idea that , if you don't follow the religion that your culture is strongly associated with, , to a tee or whatever, then, like, , you're not valid, like, you're not of that, , cultural identity almost, um, which is, , frustrating, I think, if [00:13:00] you're, especially, like, a queer person of color. Um, , growing up, being raised in a religion that is not the hegemonic religion here, , in the United States specifically, um, I think I've seen that.

Like, how do you grapple with the fact that people equate culture to religion and like, so many queer people of color I know who are either immigrants or like have parents who are immigrants, they still have a relationship with God and even if it's not God in the sense like they have some sort of like, um, religious or like spiritual relationship in some way.

So I'm like That's like that the fact that that exists right the fact that like and obviously not everyone I'm not saying that everyone does that like we obviously have a lot of people who are also atheists you mentioned that you probably fall more in that in that light anyways.

Araly: Me specifically I identify more as agnostic. , or it's like I'm not really like under one specific like religion anymore. It's just kind of become more of like a [00:14:00] personal like individual thing where it's like I am going to do good and try to spread good in the world so that it like circulates and then also I believe that there is stuff out there that we don't understand cuz clearly we don't even know what's like fully what our brains are fully doing. We don't know what's fully in the oceans. We don't know what's fully in space like I am just a curious person and I like asking questions and For me, I, I like having that, like, individual kind of experience.

Tarchithaa: Yeah, thanks for explaining that. Yeah.

Fareea: I think that it's, very interesting that, like, I feel like a lot of queer people kind of, naturally grow up with, this curiosity.

Because, everything that you believe is being, like, you're being taught that it's, not real or not true or, there's, this whole bunch of discourse. So, naturally, we grow up and we ask questions and it's just, so interesting that usually it's met with like anger or like you can't say that.

Araly: And I think another thing too is [00:15:00] that religions well specifically like the religion I grew up with that's more of like a sect of Christianity. Like the biggest thing is like, "love thy neighbor," you know what I mean? Like, love the people around you because like, God sees us as all of his children and like, he sees us as all equal. So, love everyone the same way that God loves you. So it's like, to me, to like, try to use a religion to push a hateful agenda against a group of people or like, to try to stop them from like, living their lives or like, having rights. This is not like y'all are putting words in God's mouth that he did not say.

Stop doing that. Stop speaking for him. Let him talk for himself.

Fareea: Religion is just so deeply personal too that it's just like wild for people to be like, well, you're not practicing correctly or you're not believing in this thing correctly and it's it's going to vary on a very personal level on an individual level like yeah, I don't think [00:16:00] religion is meant to be, like, a catch all thing, honestly.

Tarchithaa: Yeah, yeah, I think, like, it's dangerous for, , children of immigrants or, immigrants to be taught that, , their connection to their, , ethnic heritage. Um, that they only have access to that if they are so pious and religious. Do you know what I mean?

I feel like I'm kind of...

Fareea: No, I get that. And I can kind of relate to that, like, as part of the diaspora, South Asian diaspora. We're very removed from, India, There's even, like, in Guyana, there's, this whole, push towards, more, like, Middle Eastern practices because for Muslim Guyanese people and it's, like, there's so much erasure of, the original, Indian culture and,

Tarchithaa: That's crazy.

Fareea: A lot of this is colonization.

Tarchithaa: Ooh! Ooh!

Yeah, that's really interesting.  

Fareea: , the religious aspect of it kind of overwrote the cultural aspect in a lot of [00:17:00] ways.

Tarchithaa: Yeah. I totally get what you're saying. Yeah.

Araly: Oh, did you guys ever have, like, an experience of, like, like, I feel like as a kid, I was always, like, the one to, like, Like, you, you've mentioned this earlier, Tarchithaa, with, like, your experience of questioning stuff like that. And being, like, wait, why is this like this?

 It's interesting, because sometimes, like, like, as a kid, it's, like, you know, you're curious. You want to know more about the world, right? You see toddlers all the time. Like, why do you do this? Why is the sky blue? Why is the grass green? Why, why, why, why, why? But it's because people have this innate, like, just feeling of wanting to understand the world and the people and things around them.

And so it's discouraging when in a religious setting, you're met with, oh, because this is just the way things are. Because this is the way, it's always been. And then when you do your own research, and you find out that's not how it's always been, then you're like, well.

Tarchithaa: Like, what are we doing now?

Araly: What are we doing?

Tarchithaa: Yeah, no, that's [00:18:00] Fareea, you made this point earlier about how, like, when people are queer, even when they're young, they are curious and I do think, , that ties so deeply into because even if you don't fully understand what you're experiencing or feeling in the moment, like, you innately know that, like, It's, it does connect to you in like a certain way, and especially when you're a kid, you might not know how to, like, express yourself directly, but you can sense when you're not going to be accepted. 

 I do think that a lot of the kids that ask questions in these religious spaces, like, from a young age, they can understand, even though they don't know how to express it, that you won't accept them. That, , you are going to not think they deserve the same care and love in the world that, , you think everyone else in your community and culture does, and that's frustrating when you have been shaped by immigrant narratives growing up. Community becomes really important because you're, like, you don't have the community that a lot of other people do when they've spent generations here.

 And so from a very young age knowing that, like, , you go to this group of people that's [00:19:00] supposed to understand microaggressions and that's supposed to like have the shared experience and it's like they step in to open that door and then they shut the door behind you because you're queer. I think understanding that feeling is not something that you get when you get older.

 Sometimes kids do things, and I'm just like, you're so much smarter than I am, because the world hasn't taught you that you don't deserve things yet, you know what I mean? So it's like, I think like the younger you are, you actually, the more likely, like you pick up on the subconscious stuff, and you start, that's why you're asking so many questions.

Araly: And also a lot of the time too it's like sometimes they're just assumptions that are like accepted by people but they've never met like a queer person or they have met queer people in their life, but the queer people in their life have not come out to them. And so you can say this, this, and this about this group of people. And you're like, "well, I don't know any queer people. Like, uh, they're not in my life. So, I mean, I guess I must be right."

Tarchithaa: They're not telling you, bestie.

Araly: But it's like, they're not, they're not coming out to you for a reason because you're not making it a [00:20:00] comfortable space.

Fareea: You absolutely do. And it's so crazy because it's not even, People who you might talk to every day or people who you have a personal connection to but like the cashier who checks you out at the grocery store might be queer.

Tarchithaa: Yeah do you feel like there are spaces in which your queerness and, , your spirituality, , intersect?

Araly: Honestly, I'm not sure.

Tarchithaa: Yeah. Like that's fine.

Araly: I don't know like I know that at Fordham there are specific places for that intersection like I would say um the Prism Retreat, although i've never gone to that uh, there's like a Queer -

Tarchithaa: -Spiritual Community.

Fareea: Yeah I mean i'm not very religious, so like I was shocked to find that like the queerest space at Fordham are the religious spaces. [00:21:00] And I know that a lot of people are scared of that for obvious reasons. And

Araly: From their previous experiences and trauma.

Fareea: From previous experiences. And I really was terrified of interacting with religious spaces at Fordham as well, because I thought they'd be very pushy because that's kind of my experience growing up with religion was very like that's just how it is It's just like that and there's no like further explanation. Everything's just how it is because it's like that. There's no explanation or logic to it.

Tarchithaa: Yeah. No, I mean, like, I get, I get what you're saying, though. Like, it's, I think it is also interesting with the context that, like, speaking about Fordham specifically, like, Fordham is a Jesuit institution, and so, , they do prioritize, , spirituality and, , religion, like, in general, and the only places on campus, at least, where I interact with any spiritual spaces are queer spiritual spaces.

Like it is [00:22:00] interesting, but like you're saying that like you don't feel like your queerness and like I guess your idea of religion or spirituality like co exists.

Araly: Well, I will say honestly now like talking about more about Fordham, I would say that like the campus in and of itself is a queer religious space. Before coming to Fordham, I was a little like nervous. I was like, oh, it's a Jesuit institution like I don't know what that means. I don't know what that will mean for me But then getting here it's actually a very accepting community and accepting campus and I feel like religion is just something that tends to come up with being at a Jesuit institution and even as an RA, RAs were required to do ten programs a semester and one of the programming requirements is that you have to have a program centering around faith and spirituality and I will say with that being a thing I have seen RAs including myself where we will have like a program where maybe, like, it's a religious, spiritual type of program, but [00:23:00] it's not to one specific religion.

But it's people talking about their experiences. And with that, you will have queer people who will talk about their religious trauma or what they grew up with. Or how they see themselves in religion now and, going forward. Um, and then I did have a program where we did like a queer rock climbing thing, so.

Tarchithaa: What...

Araly: Yeah.

Tarchithaa: That's lit. I love that.

Araly: It was like for us to talk about our like experiences as like queer people and like religion and like it was like a, like a rock climbing thing as well, so that was nice.

Tarchithaa: Wow, that's fire. I love that. Um, we, in general, spoke a lot about, cultural and religion connection and, like, with being queer, do you feel , like, heteronormativity or cisnormativity, like, , how much of a role it played in teaching of religious, you know, practices and stuff like that.

Araly: Well, in church, something that was, like, important was, like, [00:24:00] like, like, if you're a woman, you're gonna wear a skirt or a dress to church. And, like, growing up, I didn't have any problem with that. Um, I was, like, fine. I like being femme sometimes, like, it's not a problem to me.

But if you were, like, someone, who was maybe, like, not comfortable with wearing that type of stuff like that would kind of be a difficult situation for like those kids. Now do I know anyone that voiced those things like at my specific church? No, but I could definitely see that as a problem for some trans kids like would face like oh, I'm supposed to wear this because I was like born this way and the doctor said this is my gender and now I have to wear this these clothes to church But like they like you're like not able to express like you as yourself at this place that's supposed to be a place of a love and acceptance.

Fareea: I mean one of the things that confused me the most in religious spaces was the separation of male and female.

[00:25:00] Because like, in Islam, you pray in different rooms and everything. It would be like, the women's section upstairs and then the men's section downstairs. And I feel like A lot of society is just separated by gender. Growing up in school, you have to line up in different lines and all of that.

Tarchithaa: Sorry, I like totally forgot about that! Right? In elementary school, like at least when I was in elementary school, it would be like two lines and they would separate us by gender.

Fareea: And I was just like, why ? It was just always the most confusing thing.

Tarchithaa: That's crazy. Was that a thing here, too? Because context for people listening, I guess. Context for people listening. So I went to elementary school in Singapore. I did not go to elementary school in the United States, but we did that in Singapore. Do they do that here, too?

Araly: Um, I did not have like aligning by gender type of thing, but I remember in like fourth grade ish, when they teach you about puberty, they like separated us, which doesn't make any sense because like, Wouldn't you, shouldn't you know about puberty that, like, [00:26:00] everyone goes through?

Because then, like, how are you supposed to empathize with people who experience periods if you never learn what that is?

Tarchithaa: Exactly. I'm sorry, like, if you're talking about sex and you're pushing heteronormativity, which is that sex can only happen between a cis man and a cis woman, should you not be learning about each other's bodies? Like, I'm confused. Like...

Araly: It was a strange time.

Fareea: Like New York City public school, sex education, is like abstinence. I feel like a lot of education, or maybe it's because, I don't know, there was a lot of like, religious overtones. Not very outright, but like, you could tell that there were, there was like, a religious narrative, or like, the larger Christian narrative. Right. Like, kind of. Influencing, um, what we learned in public school and, like, how everything was, so gendered, and, especially sex education.

It was, like, yeah.

Tarchithaa: They didn't teach us anything about queer sex ed when I was in high school. So, I went to high school in upstate New York, and [00:27:00] it was, um, like, you're totally right. Like, yeah, it was very much abstinence, and I went to a public high school, and we spent like barely anything on the sex ed unit.

Araly: My school was a little bit different, I would say, cause everyone was aware that this was happening. So it's like, okay, you're gonna tell these people to be abstinent, and like, you know damn well, like you like, you know, because like I mean I will say like there were teen pregnancies like in my school district so it's like Clearly, the adults, the teachers, they knew what was happening, so they knew that abstinence wasn't the thing to push.

Um, did we have a textbook that did have a thing on abstinence? Yes, but it was also a lot, like, you know, use a condom, use protection, um, and then in high school In our senior year, we're all required to do the baby project, which is not . It's not the thing where you take care of.

Tarchithaa: I did not -Wait what?

Araly: It's not the thing where you take care of a baby doll. For us it was a financial planning project. How would you raise, and you [00:28:00] only make 20k a year, how would you survive? So you had to find where you're gonna live on Zillow like you had to like budget out how you're gonna pay for diapers, how you're gonna pay for electricity.

But I would say that's one of the coolest projects I had to do in school because it was so realistic because the thing is for some people at my school, this could very much be their reality. I really love that the school district was willing to teach us those things at that high school age, like as like a 17, 18 year old, because they understood that people need to be prepared, because like, you really don't know what could happen.

Tarchithaa: Yeah, no, that makes sense. Like, I, Yeah, I actually really, I really like that. Um, I'm very pro harm reduction way of going about things, like when it comes to like drugs, alcohol, and stuff like that. I think it's interesting what Fareea pointed out that I did not realize before, that like, yeah, public high school's [00:29:00] relationship with sex- ed, almost goes hand in hand into also, um, keeping quiet, like being hush about queer identities because queer identities are so sexualized often and anything to do with queerness is sexualized and so like, um,

Then they're already being hush hush about sex ed in general. It only makes it easier for them to be, like, suppressive about queer identities in, like, high schools and stuff like that, which is, which I guess does come from, like, there is an influence of religion in that sense, because my high school has a Bible club. And I'm like, yeah, that does go hand in hand because it's like people in Bible Club and people in GSA in my high school, like, it is two separate circles, like, that's far away. I think a public school having religious affiliation strongly might come at the cost of, like, queer identity.

Araly: Um, I think in terms of [00:30:00] like, uh, like public schools and like having like more religious spaces I think something that's just important though is like whoever's like supervising that space is like accepting of all kids, right? Like if you have like a, like if you have like a Bible club, like make sure that like, even if this kid identifies as queer or this kid identifies as straight, whatever, like anybody can be there because like, Like, and they can have those discussions.

Tarchithaa: Yeah, no, that makes sense.

Araly: Um, and then with like, the hush hush stuff that you mentioned earlier, Tarchithaa, like, in my high school, we had queer teachers, but no one ever, none of them ever said that they were queer.

But like, we just knew. Like, it was very clear. Yeah. It was, it was clear and queer. Um, but yeah, um, like, It was like very like obvious, but like the teachers would not say anything and it was maybe because they just did not feel [00:31:00] comfortable sharing their identities but some teachers what they did have was a sticker on their door that was like this is a queer safe space. So.

Tarchithaa: Yeah, that was a oh my god Oh, do you know what I'm talking about? It was a, it was like an initiative that happened.

Araly: It was like a triangle.

Tarchithaa: Yes, like it was a thing, it was a, there was like a specific organization that pushed for this campaign to have educators have that sticker on their doors. And it was really successful, like they have different chapters in different places, but um.

Fareea: And those, like, small indicators are just like so important to queer people. Especially like queer kids. Because it's so hard to talk about it out loud or just like outright.

Tarchithaa: Yeah.

Fareea: And, they [00:32:00] kind of look for those little indications of like, okay, this is a space that I'm accepted in and I'm welcome in.

Araly: Yeah. Another cool thing for us was like, So we had like "Pathways", so like "Pathways" had like different clubs and like, "SAAD" (Students Against Destructive Decisions) and like, basically all these different groups to talk about mental health, like they had counselors for students, they had alternative seating if you felt uncomfortable in like the cafeteria, cause it's like, too loud or like you feel alone or whatever. Um, through there they also had the GSA At the time when I was in the GSA, I was like, "I'm like the token ally." No, I wasn't. I was not just an ally. I was more than that, but I didn't realize it at the time!

Tarchithaa: You made it! You made it.

Araly: But I think what was really cool though was that through the GSA and through Pathways, um, there was this teen conference for queer people and, um, there was multiple.

I think one of them was run by Planned Parenthood or sponsored by Planned Parenthood. And that's actually how we learned about protection, like, as a queer person and stuff like that. [00:33:00] Like, that's how we learned about harm reduction practices and safe sex practices. So, I think stuff like that is really important, and I'm so grateful that my school had those things because they were resources to these people who, in their regular, shmegular health classes, like, it's not really in the curriculum. It's not really brought up. In vitro fertilization is not brought up when we talk about pregnancy, or at least, it wasn't really talked about back then. Not that much.

Tarchithaa: I, I do think, I feel like so much has changed, even from when we were in high school. Because I have friends whose siblings are still in high school, and when they talk about, who their friends are and, like, what their experience is, and I'm like, oh, things have been, have been changing.

Like, and, like, that's a, obviously that's a good thing. So, like, I. I guess, like, we are outdated when we're speaking about our high school because, maybe it's not realistic, like, what we are saying. Okay, um, but yeah, well, Araly, thanks for joining us today. We are so...

Araly: Thank you for having me!

Tarchithaa: [00:34:00] We're happy you're here. Like, this was, I enjoyed this, I enjoyed this conversation. I'm sure Fareea did too yeah, do you want to plug yourself? Like, you have anything you want people to follow you on and stuff like that?

Araly: Oh, whoa! So, I mean, if you guys want to follow me on TikTok, my TikTok is @_araly, A R A L Y. My Instagram is @aralylangomas and my youtube channel is Araly Langomas.

Tarchithaa: Yay, we love to see it! Um, Araly is a really creative person , so you guys should totally check that out and we will put it in the description in the bio when we have a bio that we haven't typed out yet, but we will. Um, but yeah, thank you for joining us and thank you for listening if you're listening. Cool.