For the purpose of this essay, I will focus mostly on Connection: the way in which two (things) people are connected. I will also be focusing on the spiritual aspect of our connection with one another. While it is not my intention for this to be a “non-professional” attempt at marital counseling, I do regret that I did not have some of this imparted to me before I married and even more so later after 30 years of marriage. 

Note the sub-heading: Risks and Benefit.

Drawing from Colin’s Sunday message in every relationship there will be risks of being poked, scarred, challenged, troubled, and experiencing tension. Because we are still human beings and often have different upbringing and different nurturing. As in marriages, relationships in congregations will be subject to the same risks.

The Apostle Paul admonishes us, “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus” Philippians 2:5 This is a necessary element for any healthy relationship. Especially for any Godly relationship. Because our sin nature cannot manufacture the godliness that Christ Jesus can develop in us. We develop godliness and godly relationships over time and through experiences. Not all of the bad experiences we go through should be discarded. We can learn to be godlier by evaluating the bad experiences to find what Jesus is saying to us. Sometimes bad experiences will reveal to us flaws or qualities in our character or nature that we did not realize were so dominating or so destructive. 

When Paul says let this mind be in you, what exactly is he referring to. In verse 7 Paul explains the mind of Christ Jesus. Paul writes that Jesus “made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men.” Jesus took on the reputation of a servant and the likeness of men. He did not proclaim his importance or right to be worshipped. He did not draw attention to himself but rather he drew attention to his father. Jesus lived out before us the fruits of the spirit that Paul speaks of in Galatians. “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23 When we go through bad experiences, do we still model the fruits of the spirit? If we are not, then the fruits of the spirit are not a part of our character yet. It is not difficult to model the fruits of the spirit with one another when things are well, and we are still experiencing the afterglow of good. The real maturing of the fruits of the spirit are in the midst of hard times or hard situations or even hard relationships. Jesus said, “I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman. Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit. Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.” John 15:1-4 It is only through Christ Jesus that we can consistently have the fruits of the spirit developing in us godly character. 

For the purpose of this essay, I will focus mostly on Connection: the way in which two (things) people are connected. I will also be focusing on the spiritual aspect of our connection with one another. While it is not my intention for this to be a “non-professional” attempt at marital counseling, I do regret that I did not have some of this imparted to me before I married and even more so later after 30 years of marriage. 

Note the sub-heading: Risks and Benefit.

Drawing from Colin’s Sunday message in every relationship there will be risks of being poked, scarred, challenged, troubled, and experiencing tension. Because we are still human beings and often have different upbringing and different nurturing. As in marriages, relationships in congregations will be subject to the same risks.

The Apostle Paul admonishes us, “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus” Philippians 2:5 This is a necessary element for any healthy relationship. Especially for any Godly relationship. Because our sin nature cannot manufacture the godliness that Christ Jesus can develop in us. We develop godliness and godly relationships over time and through experiences. Not all of the bad experiences we go through should be discarded. We can learn to be godlier by evaluating the bad experiences to find what Jesus is saying to us. Sometimes bad experiences will reveal to us flaws or qualities in our character or nature that we did not realize were so dominating or so destructive. 

When Paul says let this mind be in you, what exactly is he referring to. In verse 7 Paul explains the mind of Christ Jesus. Paul writes that Jesus “made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men.” Jesus took on the reputation of a servant and the likeness of men. He did not proclaim his importance or right to be worshipped. He did not draw attention to himself but rather he drew attention to his father. Jesus lived out before us the fruits of the spirit that Paul speaks of in Galatians. “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23 When we go through bad experiences, do we still model the fruits of the spirit? If we are not, then the fruits of the spirit are not a part of our character yet. It is not difficult to model the fruits of the spirit with one another when things are well, and we are still experiencing the afterglow of good. The real maturing of the fruits of the spirit are in the midst of hard times or hard situations or even hard relationships. Jesus said, “I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman. Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit. Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.” John 15:1-4 It is only through Christ Jesus that we can consistently have the fruits of the spirit developing in us godly character. 

You do realize that the “but” will come out, it will surface, it will emerge, it will boil to the top.

When does it emerge?

When we least can afford for it to come out it will be brought to light. Too often it is when we are angry. But by then the “but” is not constructive, it is decidedly destructive and harmful. I would venture to say that it is vengeful. And no one benefits.

How much more effective the “but “could have been if it were spoken sooner. “I really appreciate you sharing how much you like my cooking with the group, but you know you do not like the way I cook spaghetti. You just swirl it around your plate and eat a lot of bread” “I would like to know how to fix spaghetti the way you would like it, but you never say why you don’t like it.”

Granted this may not be a prevalent issue but you see how it could really become a big issue for this couple if the “but” is not expressed soon. It may be that she will never be able to cook spaghetti the way that she cooks other meals, but truth will out sooner or later. It is so much easier if it comes out while hearts are in unison, not in the midst of crisis.

Consider in the relationships that you are trying to build what are some of the buts that need to be expressed to avoid crisis later.

Trust. Time. Truth in two-way communication. Important building blocks for strong relationships not just in marriage but in all relationships that are intended to grow and flourish.

In May of 2023 I began a devotional series with a book written by Mark and Patti Virkler. The book is called: 4 Keys To Hearing God’s Voice.

In the book Virkler notes, “hearing God’s voice is as simple as quieting yourself down, fixing your eyes on Jesus, tuning to spontaneity, and writing.” Virkler notes that this is a process. It is a process that helps to reduce and replace rationalism in our attempts to pursue intimacy with God. Because of our intimacy with things of this world we have learned to rationalize why things happen the way they do. We even rationalize a lot of what God has done in our lives. We see the bad things that happen in life, and we rationalize that they are due to bad actors or bad behavior on the part of others. We do not consider that God himself has a purpose in allowing these bad occurrences. In the same manner when we see or hear of good, we attribute it to the good living of someone or even our own good living. But there is more that we are often missing when our focus is on ourselves or our surroundings.

Being more aware that God is intimately, and wants to be more, involved in our lives will also help us to be in a position to grow in our own intimacy with him.

In my early walk with the Lord, I would often become dissatisfied and frustrated with the mundane nature of my walk with God. I had envisioned being some great evangelist. Taking the gospel to the lost. But that was not happening. I envisioned being in the pulpit as a guest speaker sharing the Word of God with his congregations. That was not transpiring nowhere near as often as I had anticipated. Then one night in an evening service while my wife and I were visiting the church of some close friends, something life changing happened. The worship service was beautiful. We could feel the presence of the Lord in the sanctuary. The songs of praise and worship brought us into an environment that seemed to be filled with the presence of the Lord. At one point while I was sitting quietly next to my wife someone (whom I did not Know) came up behind me and laid his hands on my shoulders and I heard him say, “son” …. “Your time is not yet”. That was a turning point for me. Rather than being filled with anxiousness over what was not happening in my life I focused more on what was. I attempted to serve the Lord with all of my heart wherever I was. Rather than being discouraged by the lack of opportunities, I rejoice each time that I have an opportunity to be used by God in big or small ways. 

The more intimate we become with the God of the universe the broader our understanding of his heart for fallen mankind. We then become willing to follow him whole-heartedly not half-heartedly.

Virkler has a chapter in his book on Spiritual Intimacy. In this chapter introduces the idea of knowing God. Having an intimate knowledge of him that is deeper than a head knowledge or acquaintance. He presents the Greek term ginosko and the Hebrew term yada to refer to a deep intimacy of lovers (not a sensual knowledge). Ginosko implies that knowledge is gained through experience, rather than just reading about something. Similarly, the Hebrew word yada means "to know" in a deep, intimate, and compassionate way. This is the intimacy that God had with Adam. God desires that same connection with us that he had with Adam and Eve before their fall from grace. If you are familiar with the hymn I Come To The Garden Alone, this is the same intimacy that God desires to have with us. In the hymn the writer proclaims with great feeling, “And He walks with me, and He talks with me,
and He tells me I am His own, and the joy we share as we tarry there,
none other has ever known.”

Consider, beloved, the God of the universe, creator of all things and judge of all men wants to walk with us through our day. He wants to let us know that we are his. God wants us to ginosko him, to yada him, not just having an acquaintance or a head knowledge. But an intimate awareness and love relationship. In Ephesians 1:17 Paul lets the church know that he is praying for them and part of his prayer is, “that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him”.

Spirit-led Reasoning, Rhema, Biblical Meditation

Rhema: “The Greek word rhḗma simply means "any spoken word."

In the New Testament, there are two different Greek words used to identify words from God: lógos and rhḗma.

Logos is used in John 1:1 (NKJV). "In the beginning was the [logos] Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God" (John 1:1 NKJV).

Rhema is a spoken word. "And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the [spoken] word of God" (Eph. 6:17 NKJV).” (Kenneth Hagin Ministries)

Spirit-led reasoning-rather than being wholly focused on reasoning with our minds, Virkler suggests that we should intentionally focus on hearing the word of God with our heart. Reasoning with our heart, tuning into what God is saying with our hearts rather than our minds. There is a spiritual dimension to our abilities to hear and see with our heart. It is not emotionalism it is inward spiritual introspection. Our spirit taking in what God is saying. We can allow the Holy Spirit to speak to our spirit to inform us rather than running it through our ‘onboard computer’ (our mind).

We invite the Spirit of God to reveal to us (our spirit) the Rhema of God, as we meditate on the logos of God. We are not trying to understand it with our minds but rather we are trying to perceive the deeper message that will transform how we think and act. This is the work of the Holy Spirit that Paul talks about when he writes to the Christians in the book of Romans. He writes, “and be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

Consider, how often you have read a particular passage of the bible, and it vaguely made sense. But whether God sends someone to help you to understand it (as in Philip and Eunuch from Ethiopia) or the Spirit of God reveals to you the deeper meaning of the passage, all of a sudden it makes sense and you can act on it with greater assurance because you understand better. It is no longer a head knowledge it is a heart changing intimate awareness that only God through his Spirit reveals to us.   

Have you ever heard a testimony in which a strong believer confesses that he or she had been in the church most of their lives and never really heard the message of the gospel. How is that possible?

It is possible because except the Spirit of God illumines our heart and our mind we cannot understand the message of salvation. Consider the Pharisees and Sadducees of Jesus’ day. They had read, studied, meditated on, taught and even attempted to follow the Word of God. But they continually fell short because that intimate relationship with the God of creation did not exist. They were so deaf and blind to the spiritual message of God. They were following the teachings but not being transformed by the Spirit of the Word of God. So, When Jesus, the fulfillment of all prophetic scriptures arrived they did not accept him. They rejected him because he simply did not fit their expectations of the Messiah.