WAVERLY PLACE MYSTERY! -Excerpt - written by Gordon Blitz with Michael Main
Tagline: Three dead bodies in the Waverly Place Mansion and Riley, a retired fraud investigator is going to solve the mystery. A five episode limited series.
EPISODE #1 - PILOT
INT. EVENING-2018-DINING ROOM IN WAVERLY PLACE MANSION.
Crotchety, defiant NED (old man with reddish skin due to Roseola) sits at the head of the table with his two adult damaged children; MILLIE (50 years old, stern, with a birthmark port stain on her neck) and CONNOR (early 40’s, introverted, self-conscious about his cleft palate, very muscular and wears a tank-top to show off).
They are finishing dinner. Millie is reading Michelle Obama’s autobiography.
NED
Put that damn book down.
MILLIE
It’s fascinating stuff.
NED
For god sakes, why?
MILLIE
Because some people get to matter.
Ned smirks.
NED
You had a future once, being on the Ashton City Council, but you god damn flushed it down the toilet!
Millie stiffens.
MILLIE
I did no such thing! You poisoned it. I hate it in this hellhole of a house!
NED
Leave the country then. Maybe the
Peace Corps will let you back in.
MILLIE
What's so important that you summoned us to this prison, anyway?
CONNOR
Yeah, Dad. What's up?
NED
I don't know how much longer I have with this diabetes and heart condition. I thought it would be nice for you to move back in with me during this pandemic. And we could get closer to each other.
MILLIE
That's never going to happen!
NED
Well, then you won't inherit anything.
MILLIE
What?
NED
I said: If you don't move back in here with me, my trust gets changed. You get nothing!
CONNOR
You can’t mean that, Dad.
MILLIE
Shit! Are you threatening us?
NED
Yes, you’re damn right I’m threatening you! You little shits haven't been here for me at all. The only one I can trust is Garrett.
MILLIE
Oh, he's so weird!
CONNOR
He gets paid to take care of you.
MILLIE
You don't need us.
NED
Then get the fuck out if you don't want anything from me.
MILLIE
Let me get this straight. All we have to do is stay here until you die.
NED
Right; and try to get along.
Ned turns to Connor.
NED (CONT'D)
And you, are you eating?
Connor nods.
NED (CONT'D)
You look hollow, like someone sucked the life out of you; like a god damn corpse!
Connor shrinks. He self-consciously touches his harelip.
NED (CONT'D)
Stop touching your lip! You only draw attention to it.
Connor lowers his hand.
CONNOR
I’m trying a new diet. It’s for building more muscle.
Ned laughs.
NED
All the muscle in the world won’t fix your face.
Millie slams her fork down.
MILLIE
Jesus Christ! Will you stop already?
NED
Smile, Connor. You don’t smile enough. People don’t trust men who don’t smile.
Connor forces a smile. Millie winces.
Ned’s eyes flash.
NED
And both you kids never had any relationships.
Millie touches her birthmark.
NED (CONT'D)
(points at Millie)
Maybe your reputation as a “biter” scared men off.
Millie stands.
MILLIE
Say it again!
Ned leans back.
NED
Sit down!
Millie remains standing, her hands curled up into fists.
MILLIE
I’m out of here.
She storms out.
CONNOR
I’m off too, Dad. I’ll think about what you said.
Much time later-
Riley drives to Ashton Place, a pristine set of condominiums. One anomaly seen in the nearby neighborhood: Waverly Place; old, grand, neglected.
EXT. WAVERLY PLACE
Packages; newspapers; overflowing mailbox.
Riley rings the bell. No answer.
He unlocks the door.
RILEY
Ned? Ned? Anyone home?
INT: CONTINUOUS-Mansion has a museum look with olive, dark green and russet colors; no sign of life. Riley walks toward the spiral staircase and shouts.
RILEY (CONT'D)
Hey! Ned! Millie! Connor!
CONTINUOUS-At the top of the stairs, Riley stands in the upstairs hallway contemplating which of the four doors to enter. He becomes aware of a strong odor.
He walk toward the door furthest away from the stairs. Knocks again. No response.
INT-BEDROOM
Riley enters and holds his nose as he is overpowered by the intense odor. He sees Millie in bed lying on her side. The way light streams into the room, the port stain is pro-nounced.
On the nightstand is a stainless-steel canister, paper cups filled with tomato juice and curdled milk.
Riley slowly moves toward Millie. He notices deep brown stains on the linen. Millie’s face is bloated and almost unrecognizable. Her eyes are protruding and dried-up saliva is seen at her mouth. There are crawling insects everywhere.
Riley backs away. Sweats. Dry heaves. Searches for his iPhone. Calls 911. No service.
RILEY (CONT'D)
Shit!
Riley holds his crotch needing to urinate.
RILEY (CONT'D)
Damn! Where's their bathroom?
He looks at the other doors, tentatively opens the one closest to the stairs.