Cats once ruled the world, but wearying of the job, came to humans, saying take care of us and the world is yours.
Chinese proverb
I have two cats
One black one brown
They wait until I go to town
They’re in my files I know they are
Nothing missing, not so far
They’re careful not to leave a trace
I know when things are out of place
It’s not just them. There’s one next-door
He sits outside and yowls and more
This is not only idle chatter
Sly messaging,
As we grow fatter.
Cats gather nightly in the alley
Like some parliamentary rally
Singing songs of victory.
O’er the likes of you and me
And by the way, that dog that died
Just down the road,
That was no accident I’m told.
Last week when catnip stores ran low
I tried to slip them weed but no
The food they say they do not want
Would please the chef at Tour d’Argent
Hunter gatherers no more
Now cats send us to the store
We farm their food, put it in cans
We even dish it out by hand.
But take heart. Cast away your chains
They’re getting soft; we’re too humane.
All those toys have dulled their edge
They aren’t as great as they allege.
They have four legs we but a pair
But are we playing poker here.
It would be great if we could purr
Stubble isn’t nice like fur.
But we have, cable, Internet
We don’t have to see the vet.
No one dresses us in clothes
Or kisses us upon the nose.
So why do cats henpeck us so
Manipulate us to and fro.
They warm us when they’re feeling tender
But what is really their agenda?
I for one have need to know
And study time to make it so
But oh they’re sitting in my chair
I’ll find another place, somewhere
BERNARD HOLLAND