Deschooling

Take some time to De-School.  Deschooling means taking time off to hit the reset button, get over the stress and expectations of school, for the child AND the parents.  Then - when you've recovered a bit - take your time researching.  

Some homeschoolers say you should deschool for one month for every year your child was in school - that's a long time!  

No matter how long you take, here are some tips for what to do during that time, how to change your focus and come to terms with the new mindset.

Tips for Deschooling

1. Don't worry about getting "behind"

It's so easy to feel pressure to keep up with what the public school kids are doing, to keep the momentum going.  We worry that if the kids are not structured now they will fall behind and not catch up!  It's not true but it takes a bit of practice to let that feeling fade and trust in your new direction.  

2. Resist the urge to plan

We start homeschooling with expectations of what it will be like, eager to do all the things, to get started with our new life.  But if we jump straight from school to home lessons, or even the new unschool routine, we miss an important opportunity.  Take time to observe. What brings my child joy?  What is important right now?  Perhaps make some notes reflecting on these questions.  It will make your future planning so much more effective in practice.

3. Get used to the freedom

It's an odd concept - we can now do whatever we want!  Deschooling is a wonderful time to get a feel for all the things you can't do when you're tied to a school schedule.  Go on vacation in October!  Visit places around town with no crowds.  Beach trip?  Camping?

4.  Continue to read about how neurodiverse people learn best

Find blogs and videos about and by autistic people.  What are their learning success stories?  How might our child's particular challenges and strengths be best served?  No need to re-invent the wheel if there are good ideas out there.  Join some Facebook groups for homeschooling neurodiverse kids and get some good suggestions.

5. Talk with the kids about their feelings on homeschooling

What are their expectations, their fears?  How can we address those?  They may be missing a friend from school - now is the time to get together for playdates.  Maybe your older student has a negative view of learning and they need time to process and read some positive stories themselves.  Also be sure they know it's a two-way street - if you try something and it's not working, they can say so and have input on what works better.

6.  Do things that connect

For autistic kids, connection might mean slowing down to be together in whatever way they enjoy, just "being around", or hearing more about their favorite video game, or going down YouTube rabbit holes together.  This is a golden time to re-establish a trusting relationship, if it has been strained by school needs.  Your child may be so grateful to be home.  Or they may be wary of changing routines and need your reassurance.