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For Parents & Guardians: Information You Can Use
For Parents & Guardians: Information You Can Use
How to get off the
How to get off the
Adolescent Emotional Rollercoaster
Adolescent Emotional Rollercoaster
Adolescents are notoriously EMOTIONAL. Energized and excited one minute and then moody and withdrawn the next. Even though they may push you away (a lot!) at this time, they actually need even more attention from you than just a few years ago when they were grade schoolers.
Here are some tips for helping your tween or teen deal with their emotions and develop better self-control. With your help, your child and your family can get off the adolescent emotional rollercoaster!
Talk about what’s happening
Talk about what’s happening
Talk with your adolescent about what’s happening to them. Adolescents are going through tremendous changes physically, cognitively, and emotionally. They are flooded with growth hormone and sex hormones that will transform them from children to adults. They are also developing significant regions of the brain that control thinking and self-regulation (the prefrontal cortex) and memory (the hippocampus). All of these changes make for a very bumpy ride, but it’s not their fault. It’s just biology!
Be warm, supportive, and firm
Be warm, supportive, and firm
Take the time to listen to your child and let them lead the discussion. Praise them for good behavior and for appropriately controlling their own emotions. Develop age-appropriate rules of behavior with your child’s input. Be consistent, firm, and fair with consequences.
PRO TIP: Telling your child that you are “disappointed” is usually the best response to bad behavior at this time. You are letting your child know that you disapprove of their behavior and that you have high expectations for them!
The SIPS Method
The SIPS Method
of Emotional Control
of Emotional Control
STOP
STOP
When your adolescent feels overcome by difficult emotions, help them to stop for a moment before reacting, so that they can process their emotions healthfully.
IDENTIFY
IDENTIFY
Have them identify what emotion(s) they are feeling (sad, anxious, angry, guilty, etc.). Then, ask them to identify what caused the emotion and why they think they reacted the way they did. For emotions that are persistent and troubling, you can encourage your child to express their feelings through art (writing or journaling, drawing or painting, sculpture, dance, music, etc.)
PERSPECTIVE
PERSPECTIVE
Ask them to think about the situation from the outside or from another person’s perspective. This is particularly important in fights or conflicts. If this is difficult for your child, you can use the “empty chair” exercise.
STATE A GOAL
STATE A GOAL
Help your child brainstorm solutions to any remaining issues, and encourage them to state a goal for improvement to help reduce conflict and stress in the future. Help your child take steps to achieve their goal and give them hope that, with your help, they can change their coping skills for the better!
Teens on break at school. Retrieved from https://www.thenationalcouncil.org/ceos-corner-office/2018/09/helping-adolescents-thrive-at-home-at-school-and-in-the-community/
May 5, painting by Eleni Kalorkoti. Retrieved from https://featherofme.com/eleni-karolkoti-geometrical-clean-and-minimalistic/
Online Resources for Parents and Students
Online Resources for Parents and Students
Online source for positive youth development.
Rights, Respect, Responsibility.
Since 1980, Advocates for Youth has worked with youth leaders to ensure that all young people's rights are respected.
Resources for adolescents and parents seeking medical or psychiatric support.
Trailblazing teen peer support one school at a time.
More Links
More Links
The Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) hosts many paged devoted to adolescent development, supporting pregnant and parenting teens, resources for families, fatherhood, happy adolescents, and so much more!
Hand-in-Hand parenting website: Supporting our teenage children
ParentTeen Connect nonprofit organization that seeks to normalize the challenges that come with raising teens through interviews with real families—they’re here to show you that you’re not the only ones struggling.
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) resources for parents
Happy adolescents: A ten-point (mostly) collaborative approach - article by Andrea F. Polard, Psy.D., author of A unified theory of happiness. In Psychology Today, May 7, 2015
National Institute of Health: Take charge of your health: A guide for teenagers, posted December 2016
RaisingChildren, the Australian parenting website: Happiness and wellbeing for teenagers
Teens for Teens Resources
Teens for Teens Resources
Teen Ink is a national teen magazine, book series, and website devoted entirely to teenage writing, art, photos, and forums. For over 25 years, Teen Ink has offered teens the opportunity to publish their creative work and opinions on issues that affect their lives – everything from love and family to school, current events, and self-esteem. Hundreds of thousands of students, aged 13 -19, have submitted their work to us and we have published more than 55,000 teens since 1989.
Check out the YouTube TeenInk Channel!
Teen Line is a confidential hotline for teenagers which operates every evening from 6:00pm to 10:00pm PST.
If you have a problem or just want to talk with another teen who understands, then this is the right place for you! You can
call us at 800-TLC-TEEN (852-8336)
text us by texting “TEEN” to 839863
email us here
The Teen Line volunteers who answer the calls, emails and texts are Southern California teenagers who have received specialized training. They won’t judge you or give advice – their job is to listen to your feelings and help you to clarify your concerns, define the options available to you, and help you make positive decisions.
No problem is too small, too large, or too shocking for the Teen Line volunteers. Issues that teenagers are dealing with include abuse, depression, divorce, bullying, anxiety, gangs, gender identity, homelessness, pregnancy, relationships, sexuality, violence, substance abuse, self harm, and suicide.
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