True Vs False Love

Objectives

At the end of the assembly, MFC members are expected to:

1.     Understand the real and deep meaning of conjugal love.

2.     Be aware of all the deception of the devil about love.

3.     Commit to be pro-God, pro-family and pro-life MFC members.

Expanded Outline

I. Introduction

Certain things mark a year and make each month meaningful for various things. February is often known for being a month dedicated to and all about love. Also, during this month, we celebrate the advocacy for Family and Life.  

Celebration of life and love is not just during this month but as Catholics, we daily recognize the beauty of God’s gift to us.  St. John Paul II told us that the family is an intimate community of life and love (FS 17). The family as a community is founded on the conjugal union of husband and wife. We need to understand the meaning of conjugal union and the deception of the enemy for it to be destroyed.

II.  Conjugal Union

In the primary and essential act of love fulfilled between husband and wife, there are two purposes intended by God:

a.     Unifying aspect: The conjugal act is the intimate union of husband and wife to become “one flesh”.

b.     Procreative aspect: as they unite themselves, God willing and nature permitting a new life may emerge from this conjugal act: a child.

Man has no right to deliberately separate these two aspects. True love respects both dimensions of it. The devil, who always seeks to destroy marriage and family life, throws at us a false kind of love.

III. False Love

God designed the family to be a school of life and love, but the enemy seeks to ruin it. It tempts man to embrace and encounter a bogus love. What are the deceptions of the enemy about love in marriage?

a.     Contraception: wanting sexual pleasure without procreation.

The first falsification of love is what St. John Paul II called a “contraceptive mentality”. Contraception is the refusal to have children for either unfounded reasons or by illicit means. The real problem with contraception is the mentality that it nurtures. Couples tend to close themselves to procreating new life and manipulating love and each other as an object for pleasure.

b.    Artificial Reproduction: seeking procreation without sexual union.

In our time, there has been an alarming increase in couples unable to conceive. Due to this, there is also an increase in providing a solution to this crisis through artificial means of reproduction. 

In 1987 the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith issued a document known as Donum Vitae (The Gift of Life), which addressed the morality of many modern fertility procedures. Donum Vitae teaches that if a given medical intervention helps or assists the marriage act to achieve pregnancy, it may be considered moral; if the intervention replaces the marriage act to engender life, it is not moral. IVF and surrogacy are acts that are not by God’s truth and design.

c.     Abortion: destroying the fruit of procreation

It is one of the greatest and most scandalous tragedies of our time. There are more than 60 million surgical abortions performed yearly. Abortion is the murder of an innocent child. The authentic truth that everyone must adhere to is that life starts at conception. The Church categorized abortion as an abominable offense.

d.    Homosexuality: destroying a real and legitimate sexual union

In homosexuality, two things must be distinguished: the tendency some feel towards persons of the same sex and the exercise of sexuality with persons of the same sex. Same-sex attraction is not a sin. The Church recognizes that the psychological genesis of this situation remains largely unexplained. The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This objectively disordered inclination constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. (CCC 2358). Persons experiencing same-sex attractions are called to chastity. 

On the other hand, homosexual acts are not in conformity with God’s design for man. These sexual acts are contrary to the natural law. They close sexual acts to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved. 

Through these acts, the devil is luring us to follow His agenda and truly destroy what is true, good, and beautiful. There is still hope amidst the onslaught of the enemy toward marriage, family, and life. Let us look to Jesus who is the model of true love so we can get rid of false love in our families and society.

IV. True Love

From the beginning of the Bible to the end, there is one analogy God uses more than any other to express His love for us: the love between a husband and wife. The story of God’s love in the Bible begins in Genesis with the marriage of Adam and Eve and concludes with the book of Revelation in which we read about the Marriage Supper of the Lamb – the union of Christ and the Church in Heaven. 

God’s love for us is free, total, faithful, and fruitful (life-giving), and the couple’s love for each other should be all these things as well. These four aspects of love – free, total, faithful, and fruitful – are mirrored in the vows and promises that a husband and wife exchange during their wedding.

a.   Faithful: It means we must only have marital embrace with our spouse and no other. But if we want to be truly faithful to our spouse, we must be faithful in words, action, and thought until death.

b.  Fruitful: Marital relations must be fruitful, and open to children, every time. That doesn’t mean we will conceive a child with every marital embrace. It just means we need to be open.

c.   Total: The love for our spouse must be total. We can’t say, “Well, I’ll give you everything, honey, except for my fertility.” 

Total means total giving of oneself.

d.   Free: We need to be able to love our spouse freely. If we ask for conditions, that’s not love. If we force our spouse to do something, that’s not love. If we cannot say no to our sexual urges, then we are not free.

False love espoused by Satan seeks to ruin God’s plan for marriage and family life that is destined to be faithful, fruitful, total, and free.

The demands of love have already been written on our hearts and stamped into our bodies. And if we live out this call to love through a sincere gift of self, we become a visible image of Christ’s love for the Church.

V. Conclusion

Husbands and wives embrace a communion of life and love for "they are no longer two, but one flesh" (Mt 19:6, Gen 2:24). They must continually grow in self-giving. Christ confirms this human communion by the sacrament of Matrimony and deepens it by the Eucharist. 

Christ Our Lord has abundantly blessed this love, which is rich in its various features, coming as it does from the spring of Divine Love and modeled on Christ's union with the Church. (GS, #48)

Discussion Question

As a couple we are called to share love that is free, total, faithful and fruitful. What are ways on how I can truly love my spouse this year?