Raise Them Free

Grab

Who is the most independent among all your children?

Grace

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6

As babies, we know how dependent our children are: from feeding to nappy change, to bathing, and playing. As they grow and they gradually discover what they can do, they begin exploring and maneuvering their environment…including our emotions. They do things on their own and see what happens. How do we support children’s need for independence as we aim at character formation?

1. Be there as mindful parents.

Being mindful parents gives us opportunities to take advantage of, and catch these “teaching moments”, especially when it comes to raising children who know how to use the Lord’s gift of freedom well.

2. Realize that children value the gift of freedom.

Fully understanding and appreciating the gift of freedom will lead our precious ones not to abuse such gift but render it to serve God and others. They will discover how freedom helps one determine oneself through independence.

3. Understand that freedom and independence develop life skills.

It provides them with the belief that they are competent and capable of taking care of themselves which makes them resilient to external challenges. It allows them to become good decision-makers as they have the freedom to consider various options before choosing the one they feel is best.

4. Try to develop our children’s social and intellectual independence.

If we want to raise children who shall become financially independent later on, it is equally important to develop their social and intellectual independence:

a. Social independence: the currency of relationships, friendships, loyalty and service to other people; not being dependent on others’ opinions; one whose decisions are not based on biases; being an AUTHENTIC child of God, one whose well-being is not based on being “liked”; capable of “breaking free” from people/relationships who compromise their well-being.

b. Intellectual Independence: the ability to make decisions for oneself by filtering ideas based on reason and logic; having an open mind to further understand situations and where people are coming from; being able to contribute for the greater good.

As Christian parents, our guidepost is the essence of raising children who can discern how to use this freedom well, so they grow up reflecting the image of Christ whose very nature was independent on the things of this world, and who are dependent only on the truth of God’s love for all of us.

Gather

For discussion, answer the following question:

• What are the challenges you face in teaching independence to your children?

Go Forth

As husband and wife, do you agree on the level of independence your children should have? If yes, list down concrete activities you can do as a family to foster independence in your children. If no, discuss the level of independence you are willing to give each child and the concrete activities you can do to develop it.