Resilience Factor 9:
Cognitive & Emotional Flexibility

Andrea Monroe

Failure is learning

I have worked at my clinic for 20 years. I started there right out of high school and changed roles several times as I went back to school. This entire time, I have been familiar with many doctors and surgeons that work there. In a 2019 Nursing Grand Rounds event, my employer showed a video of some of the doctors I knew through the years in an interview format. The purpose of the video: How do you recover after you make a mistake? Several surgeons, physicians and nurses that I personally knew through the years, told their stories in the video – with tears and grief– of wrong procedures, medication mistakes and permanent irreversible harm. I remember being in shock that we were talking about these mistakes so openly, since they occurred in our four walls. The purpose was not a culture of shame, but one of how the medical system contributed to these mistakes, and that both the healthcare professional and the patient were permanently impacted. I admired how these events, which were tragic and forever altered the lives of those involved, were reexamined to shape a future culture of safety and the reframing mistakes in the outpatient setting.

Kim Huynh

The story of Bethany Hamilton, the surfer is one that is encouraging on all level. at a young age, she had a passion for surfing. However, tragedy struck when a shark bit of her arm causing her to suddenly have a disability. After a while she got back to training and went on to do the sport she loved. Currently she is ranked among the top 50 female surfer in the world. To me hers story and advocacy for children amputee is her true strength. Her work is mostly dedicated to these young persons, especially girls.

Reference:

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Magnum Kandel

For this, I would like to talk about an experience at work. I work on a level 4 NICU, and there was a patient that was there for quite some time, born at 26 weeks; mom and baby had a long road ahead. While their mom built a relationship with me, I tried to make the environment very inviting so parents can also heal and grow with each milestone the infant does. Well, one day, this mom seemed off, with no eye contact, not talking when she usually was. Well, after some time, I just offered myself and got her to open just a bit. Within the conversation, it came up that she had a suicide plan to take place that evening. Of course, ten thousand things when through my mind, mom's safety, baby's safety, etc. well, toward the end of the conversation, 2 hours in, I was able to ask her does she want help. At the same time, she allows me to establish others in the situation to provide her support. And by the end of my day, I was able to get her admitted and see her overcome the turmoil she was having. I will never forget that mom; seeing her go from completely disappear to acknowledging that she can do this and she's not alone was one of the most resilient moments I've ever seen. I am honored to get her and her baby through it all was a privilege. On discharge day, it was a moment I will never forget seeing a whole new light come within that mom's face as she went home with her baby. Through this experience, I grew as a nurse, always following your gut, and you can be more than just the specialty you in.

Daniale Delkettie

I am speechless… Amy’s story, and her story-telling, brought me to tears. Her endurance, strength, determination, and resilience is a-m-a-z-i-n-g!! There is no challenge I have had that bears any resemblance to her experience. She is inspiring!!

I think becoming a nurse brings on daily challenges. We have to be emotionally flexible through acceptance - I have cried with patients and their families, and the very next hour celebrate something joyful with another patient. I am constantly “reading the room” to be appropriate and reappraise and adjust my emotions and teaching style to meet the needs of others. Being a new nurse means being humble, failing and learning from mistakes. I think being able to laugh at myself and not take myself seriously is another huge help to get me through my everyday challenges. I am human, I do fail, but I get back up and do my very best to be the best nurse I can be.

Dee Dee Call

One of my favorite bands is Def Leppard, I am a child of the 80’s. The drummer of Def Leppard, Rick Allen, was in a car accident and lost his left arm. Being a fan of the band, I followed the story. There have also been interviews and pieces done on VH1. Rick was determined to stay in the band and continue drumming. He custom made his drum set to accommodate the parts of music that he used to play with his left arm to be played with his feet. Not only was he dealing with the loss of a limb, depression, infections and the possibility of never drumming again, he re-learned how to play the instrument he was playing since the age of 9.

His emotional flexibility in dealing with this loss allowed him to be able to channel his drumming a different way and accept that he can still play his instrument, but in a different way.

His reappraisal of the situation allowed him to come up with the idea to make his own drum set to re-learn how to play.

He dealt with failure by trying and re-trying to make that drum set work. Of course it wasn’t perfect the first time.

I have seen interviews where he is laughing a joking about the loss. Saying things like “I don’t even wear a watch anymore, as I lost the other one” and chuckling when remembering feeling bad about destroying someone’s stone wall at the time of the accident, as if the wall was the more important thing at the time.

Rick Allen has overcome the loss of a limb with emotional flexibility through acceptance, re-appraisal of the situation, dealing with failure and generating humor.

Reference:

Allen, R., (n.d.). How Resilience Rose From Tragedy. This Day in Music.com. https://www.thisdayinmusic.com/liner-notes/rick-allen/

Margarita Zaytseva

I had a patient I took care through home care company 6 years ago, and I still keep contact with him and visit him sometimes. When I started taking care of him he was a 48 year old man, paraplegic but absolutely an amazing human being. When he was 25 years old he received 2 degrees from University of Washington (constructional and engineering). At his first job he got injured a concrete block that fell on his head and put this man in 3 week coma. He could not sit straight for 2 weeks. When he went home, he equipped his car for paraplegic to be able to drive, remodeled his house and never gave up, he also has an outstanding sense of humor and he always gives me strong belly laughs. When I felt depressed I could come visit him and he could cheer me up, we became really close friends. He collects old knifes for hobby, donates funds to universities to promote engineering and leads support group fro paraplegic people. He will always be an example of failure, appraising it, accepting it and keeping such a high and vibrant spirit. I am happy I can reach out to him, because he always knows how to make you laugh and not let his situation sympathize for him!

Hirut Gebrehanna

I bounced back from a moment of grief, illness, and stressful events. I overcame those challenges alone and at times, with some help from my family and friends around me. But the essential factor to gain confidence and build resilience comes within me. As I discussed in my canvas section, failure teaches me to try and try until I get it right. The presentation by Norah Casey is very inspirational and mesmerizing how she was telling the cure for grief. I learn a lesson from her presentation and help me pass it on to others while dealing with the grief process.