Now, switching gears a little bit, the rest of the articles in this website have been about how to maintain these great relationships that we’re building. As we get to the end of this virtual experience, it’s important to highlight a few final reminders. In order to even get past the initial level of being an acquaintance or a casual friend, you have to avoid these common pitfalls that could derail the relationship before it even takes off. Some studies show that a fifth stage of the social penetration theory is that when the relationship becomes more stressful than it is beneficial, it will naturally start to break down. This means that there will be less contact between the two of you and more tension. It might also mean that people will start to show signs of withdrawal from the relationship, whether that’s reaching out less, or having shorter conversations, or not inviting you out as much. Research has shown that communication and interactions are important for maintaining a friendship, so when those things stop taking place, it can be be a sign that the relationship is ending.

A researcher named Stephen Duck is credited with creating four phases of disengagement from a relationship. Ducks first stage is called the relationship breakdown stage and this is where the tension in the relationship first appears and both parties start to see problems with relationship. Personally I think this is where I am with the second friend who sparked this entire project. In the stages of friendship section, I mentioned how I now view this person as a commemorative friend. That initial conversation that we had first semester was the start of a distancing phase in our relationship and possibly the start of the relationship breakdown stage for us but that remains to be seen. The next phase in Steven Duck’s model is the intrapsychic phase where negative emotions are fostering internally in each party. The third stage is the dyadic phase where negative emotions are starting to come out in the form of arguments and expressed anger. After the anger is expressed between the two parties involved in the relationship, the next stage in the disengagement of the relationship is to share those negative feelings with your social circle and let them know that a break up is eminent.

This topic might be hard to think about because it can be extremely hard to let go of relationships that we have put our time and energy into. While some of these relationships will naturally fade away with time, it can be very hard to accept it when relationships are not ending well or amicably. While it can be hard to realize that a relationship is ending, it’s important to know this does not say anything about who you are as a person or your worthiness as a friend. It just means that the two of you have served your purpose in each other's lives and it’s now best if you move on. It is always good to try to save a friendship but only if it is not toxic and there are no red flags. Especially with toxic relationships ending, you should always keep in mind that as one door closes, another one opens and everything happens for a reason.