Natalie Garza

Artist Statement

As a graphic designer and photographer, my work concentrates on social issues that continue to be problematic in our society. I often feel that I am unheard of and consider my artwork to be my voice. consisted of self-portraits used in a digital collaging technique. I use drawing and photography with digital collage to create portraits that are a form of personal expression.

I explore contemporary self-portraiture and the female form. I consider my images of women to also be a representation of myself. I combine my love for the female figure and use a combination of photographic processes and digital editing, layering patterns, and images of objects into digital collage.

My series Self Discovery and Money Problems is a showcase of my relationship with depression. Mental health is an issue that is still a taboo subject in our society but is a rapidly growing problem in our country. By using myself as the subject, I am able to push myself and claim my identity as an artist and as a woman. I want to expand my work by inviting others to share their perspective and experiences with social issues such as mental health and verbal abuse.

Triggered, is a new photographic series, that focuses on the emotional impact words have on women. I want the viewer to understand that verbal abuse is detrimental to a person's health and can come from anyone, not just your spouse. This series will be focusing on women’s experiences with words and statements that have been said to them, and how it has affected their self-esteem and sense of self. In Triggered, I invited participants to share their stories and specific phrases of verbal abuse. I photographed each subject holding a dry erase board on which they have written these harmful words spoken to them.

Natalie Garza, Elizabeth Avila, 2020, Photography, 11x14 inches

Elizabeth

“Callita te vez mas bonita” / “You look a lot prettier when your quiet.”

I heard it a lot as a kid and I think it's a phrase I grew up living by. My mom would say this to me when she felt I was being a little too argumentative and she would just say it to get me to be quiet, but I don't think she realized what she was doing. She was silencing my feelings, my thoughts, my opinions, and my expressions.

Growing up it made me quiet, I remember being shy and awkward and thinking don't speak unless spoken to. In middle school when I was hanging out in other people's houses I didn't feel comfortable asking for anything, not even a glass of water because of the mentality of “don't speak.” But as an adult it really just made me want to voice what I had to say. I think it made me rowdier as an adult. It took a while for me to find the balance on voicing my opinions versus the person that creates conflicts, especially in relationships.

I think their reasoning has to do with the fact that they are traditional immigrants from Mexico. Where in their generation women were expected to be quiet and men were expected to lead. Women were not in a position to question that. But our parents didn't realize that we are not growing up in their era and in their culture. They didn't count on that when they brought us over here. I don't think they realized that they were going to have to adjust to the US.

I am a parent myself and it's hard some days because you do want that quiet time because there's no mental space to deal with your kid, but I do want to hear what my son has to say and I want to at least give him an explanation on why I think he is wrong or he can explain why he thinks I am wrong. Growing up for me there was no conversation, “I don't want to hear your opinions”, “I'm right you're wrong”, “I'm the adult.”

What that does is just stifles you, or for me, it pushes you to argue and fight, and maybe sometimes I was arguing with my parents but I think I was just fighting to express myself. But they saw that as me talking back, me being disrespectful.

Natalie Garza, Courtney, 2020, Photography, 11x14 inches

Courtney

Smile More

When I was a kid I was very serious, I got told that all the time, and I was constantly getting “if you smiled more you will feel better.” But I knew it wasn't about how I was actually feeling it was that people didn't want to see me actually experiencing my own emotions and having to deal with that. I would hear it a lot from the men in my church. Like male teachers, some pastors, and also my dad, and women did it too, but thankfully I had understanding women in my family, and they normally would ask what’s wrong?

When I got older I did smile more because I heard it a lot and then it became, why are you so bubbly all the time? So it felt like I couldn't win.

The phrase smile more affected me because I don't like drawing attention to myself especially as a kid and I didn’t like feeling I was making other people uncomfortable. So whatever people would ask of me I would do it, whatever drew the least attention to myself. Unlearning this behavior is hard, it's important to say and express that you are not okay.

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