Rebecca Parish

I have never been able to answer questions about my future.

My peers have been able to answer without hesitation since kindergarten.

I want to be a doctor! I want to be an astronaut!

I didn’t have an answer then, and I definitely don’t have one now.

More recently, I have felt the pressure to make weighted decisions that will affect the rest of my life. I am barely decisive enough to choose what I want for dinner, let alone the college I want to go to or the career path I want to follow. And, I don’t feel this way because of stress about failure or happiness: I know wherever I end up is where I’m supposed to be and I will be happy just breathing because that is the kind of person I am. However, the unknown is scary.

Especially now, especially when we live such an unpredictable life with changing variables all the time and we don’t know what the next day will entail.

So, we are forced to live in the moment. I’m a planner and go-getter, but I do not allow myself to get caught up in an undiscovered future. I am satisfied with the momentary, persistent happiness that is present every day. Even if I have to search for it, there is always something to smile about.

I am sorry that I am unable to answer the question of what I will do with my one wild and precious life, but I wouldn’t want to answer anyway.

Call me in 10 years and ask me again. I still will probably say “I don’t know.”