Nicholas Teall

What do I want to do with my life? That may not be a question I can answer in 200 words. Can a person’s entire desired existence be condensed into a couple sentences? When I was asked to do this, about 4 hours before the deadline by the way, I had no idea what this was, and when I read the prompt I thought to myself, “how in hell could I possibly even begin to answer that question?” But as I thought about it a little more, I realized that most of my past life has been thinking about my future life, and what it will look like, but I still have no answer at all. Of all the questions in the world you could ask me, I am at the same time the most and the least qualified to answer. As I think about what I've wanted to do when I was younger I think about how drastically my desires have shifted, even in the past year. I constantly find myself struggling to be content in my aspirations. I’ve realized that when I have something planned for myself, I end up wanting something else instead. When I decided I wanted to learn coding, I decided that I wanted to do music instead. Now that I’m doing music, I have resigned myself into believing that I could never be good enough to successfully achieve that goal, and now I find myself wondering what in the world I could do that would keep me happy for the rest of my life and I don’t think that there is. I think that I will always doubt myself, and I will always believe that I’m not as happy as I could be.

So when I’m asked, “what do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life,” I have to say that there is no answer to that question, because tomorrow my plan will change, and then again the next day.