It's important to take care of yourself, not just academically, but also mentally and emotionally. One way to do this is by practicing self-help strategies.

Self-help is the process of taking intentional actions to improve your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. It involves identifying areas of your life that need improvement and taking action to address them. Here are some self-help strategies that can benefit you:

Practice self-care: Make sure to take care of your physical and mental health by getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, and taking breaks when needed.

Use positive self-talk: Be mindful of your inner dialogue and make a conscious effort to replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations. This can help build self-confidence and reduce stress.

Manage time effectively: Plan out your study and work schedule in advance and prioritise tasks based on their importance and deadline. This can help reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed and help manage stress levels.

Build a support network: Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you, whether it's family, friends, or teachers. Reach out to them when you need help or just need to talk.

Learn relaxation techniques: Practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga to help reduce stress and improve mental clarity.

Set realistic goals: Identify achievable goals and break them down into smaller steps. Celebrate small victories along the way and keep a positive mindset.

It's important to remember that self-help is not a one-time fix but rather a continuous effort to improve your well-being. By incorporating these strategies into your daily routine, you can help manage stress, improve your mental health, and perform better academically.

Self-Talk

The way you talk to yourself can really impact your confidence. The effect can be good or bad depending on whether your self-talk is positive or negative. We’ve got a few ways you can improve your self-talk below.

What is self-talk?

Even though you might not know it, you’re already practising self-talk.

Self-talk is basically your inner voice, the voice in your mind that says the things you don’t necessarily say out loud. We often don’t even realise that this running commentary is going on in the background, but our self-talk can have a big influence on how we feel about who we are.

The difference between positive and negative self-talk

Positive self-talk makes you feel good about yourself and the things that are going on in your life. It’s like having an optimistic voice in your head that always looks on the bright side.

Examples: ‘I am doing the best I can’, ‘I can totally make it through this exam’, ‘I don’t feel great right now, but things could be worse’

Negative self-talk makes you feel pretty crappy about yourself and the things that are going on. It can put a downer on anything, even something good.

Examples: ‘I should be doing better’, ‘Everyone thinks I’m an idiot’, ‘Everything’s crap’, ‘Nothing’s ever going to get better.’

Negative self-talk tends to make people pretty miserable and can even impact on their recovery from mental health difficulties. But it’s not possible, or helpful, to be positive all the time, either. So, how can you make your self-talk work for you?

Why should I practice?

The more you work on improving your self-talk, the easier you’ll find it. It’s kind of like practising an instrument or going to sports training: it won’t be easy to start with, but you’ll get better with time.

It might not seem like much, but self-talk is a huge part of our self-esteem and confidence. By working on replacing negative self-talk with more positive self-talk, you’re more likely to feel in control of stuff that’s going on in your life and to achieve your goals.

From aureachout.com

5 Ways to Get your Parents to Really Listen

Life just feels easier when you can communicate well with your parents/carers. It can be tricky to know how to feel heard when it seems like your parents/carers aren’t listening to you. These communication tips will help you get your message across.

1. Time it right

Timing is everything. Whether you’re after some emotional support or something else, you’ve got to get the timing right. Tune into what’s going on in the family, and pick a time to talk when your parents/carers aren’t stressed or distracted by other things. It may be easier to have a conversation when you’re in the car, rather than during the morning when everyone is trying to leave the house. It also helps to start with an opener like, ‘Hey, do you have time for a chat today?’

If you’re in a crisis or need urgent help, then this doesn’t apply - just go for it.

2. Use ‘I’ statements

This one is genius. Instead of saying, ‘You don’t care about me at all’, try this: ‘I feel really upset when [insert issue here].’

When you use ‘I’ statements, you’re taking responsibility for your own emotions, instead of trying to ‘blame’ them on someone else. When you use the ‘you’ word, it can make the other person feel attacked, and so they’ll be far less likely to listen to you.

The short version: ‘I’ = constructive conversation; ‘You’ = potential argument.

3. Take the pressure off

The ‘no pressure’ approach to communication can work really well. Here’s how you do it: ‘Hey, I wanted to talk to you about [insert issue here], but I don’t need an answer right now. I just want to put it out there for you to think about and get back to me when you’re ready.’

This approach can work because it’s less demanding than a straight-up request. It gives your parents/carers time to think an issue through in their own time. Plus, it shows that you’re being patient, reasonable and mature.

4. Try some active listening

If you want your parents/carers to listen to you, you kind of have to listen to them, too. Active listening is a great technique that shows others you’re listening to their point of view. Here’s how you do it:

When they say, ‘I’m sick and tired of asking you to clean your room. It’s disgusting!’, don’t jump in and interrupt them mid-sentence. Take a breath and try saying something like, ‘I hear that you really want me to clean my room. I’ll try hard to be better at that.’

When you indicate to someone that you’ve heard what they’ve said to you, it really brings down the tension in a conversation.

5. Take a break and try again

Despite all your efforts, sometimes things can just get really heated. The next time you notice a conversation with your parents/carers is heading toward an argument, stop and take a break. Collect your thoughts and think about how you’d like to be talked to. Once things have chilled out a bit, you can try again with this new strategy.

Everyone loses their cool every once in a while. If you regret something you said or did when you were angry, own up to it and say sorry. This shows that you’re willing to take responsibility for your actions, and your parents will be more likely to trust you.

If you’ve tried a few times and feel like you’re getting nowhere, think about who else you can talk to – a friend, maybe an aunty or uncle, or a teacher.

From aureachout.com

How to Deal with Pressure from Higher Up

Finding a balance between your parents/carers’ expectations of you and your own desires can feel like a constant battle. If they want you to take one path and you’re set on another, you might be feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Read on for some practical tips on how to deal with parents/carers’ expectations.

Remember: you're good enough

First up, it’s important to remember that you're all good, just as you are. What you choose to do with your life is important, but it doesn’t define your value as a person. It can help to work out what your strengths are. Take this free test to find your top five character strengths.

If you're struggling with feeling good about yourself, it also helps to practise positive self-talk. Find out how to do this here.

Try to understand where your parents/carers are coming from

It’s not a big deal that you and your parents have different ideas and expectations. What matters is how you solve with the situation. Their expectations are usually coming from the right place, they just want you to succeed or be happy. It might just be that their idea of what that looks like is very different from yours. Or, it might be related to their expectations of themselves.

If you think the bar they are setting is way too high, try talking to them about how it makes you feel. It can help to acknowledge this (even just to yourself).

Work on your communication skills

Having real talk with your parents/carers about what you want for your life can really work wonders. Kick start this by saying something like, ‘I understand why you want me to be a doctor, but I don’t think this matches my strengths or interests.’

Some other tips for having this conversation include:

Pick your moment, find a time when your parents/carers are free and chilled. Midweek can be a chaotic time, between work and school, everyone is a little fried. Tee up a quiet half hour on the weekend and tell your parents you’d like to have a talk.
Explain that you’re worried you can’t meet their expectations.
Tell them what you see for your future, even if the answer is “I don’t know.” Proving that you’re thinking about what’s next - even if you’re not sure - might make them feel more secure.
Listen to what they have to say.
If you feel you’re not getting anywhere, agree to disagree.

Check your own expectations

Make sure your own expectations of yourself aren’t too high. Having goals is great, but if you put heaps of pressure on yourself you’ll probably feel stressed. Check in with how you’re feeling and whether you’re being too hard on yourself. See how to set goals here and check in with how you’re going here.

What to do if it's really getting to you

Even if you follow all the tips above, your parents/carers might still be disappointed with the choices you make. If so, remember that there are probably other areas of your life that they’re stoked about.

Balancing your parents/carers’ expectations with your own can be tricky. If you’re really struggling, talk to another trusted adult or friend and get their take on it.

From aureachout.com

How to Handle Fear of the Future

Life as a year 12 student was probably already stressful enough, and then along came the coronavirus (COVID-19) to add even more uncertainty. You may be finding the resulting situation hard to deal with.

You might be experiencing fear of the future in the short term (next week, next term) as well as in the distant future (end of the year, next year, and beyond). As a result, you might be experiencing a range of different emotions, including stress, fear, uncertainty, depression, frustration, anger and disappointment.

While these emotions are understandable, they're also very distracting and can have negative impacts on our health and mood. Worrying about the future gets in the way of enjoying and making the most of the present. Luckily, there are some strategies for managing our worries about the future so that we're able to re-focus on and enjoy the present as much as possible.

Ways to cope

Feel prepared, come what may

For those of us who cope by having a plan, it might be helpful to sit down and write yourself two plans: Plan A (what you would want to do if things were ‘normal’) and Plan B (your best choice of what to do if things aren’t ‘normal’). Consider your Plan B to be a productive or fun way to spend the next period of time if you aren’t able to adopt Plan A for whatever reason.

For example, your Plan A might be to travel overseas, move out of home and into a college, or move to a new city for work/study; while your Plan B might be to complete some online training/study, gain new skills and work on creative projects with the intention of switching to Plan A six to 12 months later. Try to see your Plan B as an opportunity to upskill yourself and to work on some personal projects and goals while you wait to revert to Plan A at a slightly later date. Here are some skills you can work on for the future.

The aim isn’t to give up on Plan A, but rather to put it on pause for a little while. If you are unsure of a good Plan B, talk to a teacher or careers counsellor about it.

Be balanced and compassionate in your thinking

It’s important to be kind to yourself and realistic in your thinking. When you notice that you are worrying, say to yourself: ‘It’s understandable that I’m feeling stressed, as this is a very unusual situation to be in. What’s the best thing I can do right now to take care of myself and to help me feel better?’

Try to be as kind and supportive when speaking to yourself as you would be if you were talking with your best friend. Learn how to challenge negative thoughts here.

Improve the moment

If you find yourself getting bogged down in worries and negativity, try to improve the moment by doing something nice for yourself. Watch a funny video or a favourite movie/tv show, play a game you enjoy, or spend time on an interesting hobby or craft.

Focus on your surroundings

Right now, it’s pretty overwhelming to be thinking about what might happen in the future. It can be helpful to focus your attention on what’s immediately around you and disconnect from the outside world for a bit. ‘Zoom in’ to your room or your home and think only about the task at hand (whether that’s your school work, caring for your pets or plants, or working on a creative project).

Slow down to be in the ‘now’

Spending a lot of time on screens can lead to a feeling of frenzy and stress. Slow down by practising some breathing exercises, or doing stretching, yoga or a mindfulness meditation. These activities will reduce physical tension and the bodily symptoms of stress and help to clear your mind.

Take control in your own world

Have a few things in your life that you are in control of. Examples include keeping your room or desk tidy, organising/cleaning out a space in the house, or making a plan that you stick to, such as messaging three friends each day, taking the dog for a walk, or levelling up in your favorite game.

Practise gratitude

It’s really easy right now to think that everything is pretty bad, but it’s usually possible to find things, big and small, to be grateful for. Starting a gratitude journal (it can just be a note on your phone) will help you to refocus on the good things in life. Start by listing three things each day that you are grateful for. Read more about how you can practise gratitude.

Engage in random acts of kindness

Engaging in daily or weekly random acts of kindness will enable you to bring something good or positive into the world, and give you some sense of control. You could make a gift for someone, send a kind/encouraging message, contribute to community support projects, or help out a family member or friend with something they're working on.

Stay connected

Your friends are probably experiencing similar worries and it can really help to talk about it together and support each other. If you don’t feel comfortable talking with friends about your concerns, you can get some support via the ReachOut Online Community. Check out more ways to stay socially connected, with FlexMami.

Get support

You don’t have to work everything out by yourself! Talk to someone ‘in the know’, such as a teacher, your year coordinator or wellbeing teacher, the school careers counsellor, or someone who works at the uni/TAFE admissions office, and ask for their advice and suggestions. If you are feeling really overwhelmed, it could help to speak with a mental health professional who can help support you through this tricky time.

You could also talk to a mental health professional online via sites such as eheadspace, beyondblue and Lifeline. Here are more cheap or free ways to get support and professional help.

It’s important to remember:

It’s completely understandable if you are having a hard time coping with all of the uncertainty right now.
It’s okay to be unsure about what you are going to do next year.
Schools are working hard to ensure that exams and assessments are fair and clear for all.

It may be difficult to stay calm and focused when the world around you is in chaos, and it’s challenging to accept that we can’t predict the future right now. However, it can help to remember that you are still in control of your own path, and that there are lots of different pathways to study and to work.

Although things will look a little different from how you imagined they would be, or how you had planned, we can usually find our own way to get to where we want to go, even if it takes a little longer than we had first hoped. For now, focus on the things that you can control and trust that, no matter what happens, you’ll be able to cope.

This article was written by Dr Amy Burton, Clinical Psychologist.

From aureachout.com

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