Third Grade

Students in all grade levels will have age-appropriate lessons in the following areas:

Self- Awareness

Identifying Feelings 

Identifying Traits

Social Awareness

Recognizing others feelings

Empathy

Disagreeing with others

Respect for other people’s feelings and belongings

Self- Management

Monitoring Stress and coping skills

Growth Mindset - Developing Grit

Showing Self Control 

Goal Setting

Responsible Decision Making

Communicating 

Appropriate behavior

Following rules

Safety

October: School Success

This month, our 3rd graders took part in a high-energy, multi-sensory game designed to reinforce the habits of successful learners. Rather than just listening to a lecture, students became the "experts" on school success by participating in our "Success Skill-Building Challenge."

The Lesson: Learning Through Action

The core of this lesson was built around three different ways of communicating ideas. Students took turns drawing challenge cards that required them to Act Out, Draw, or Speak about key school success strategies:

• Acting Out (Role-Play): Students role-played scenarios such as using a "strong and brave" voice to ask a teacher for help or demonstrating "Whole Body Listening" during a classroom lesson.

• Drawing (Visualization): Students sketched out their "Perfect Study Space" or a well-organized backpack, helping them visualize what an orderly environment looks like.

• Speaking (Verbalizing): Students shared their personal "Healthy Habits," such as the importance of a consistent bedtime, choosing their clothes the night before, and the "Homework First" rule.

Key Discussion: The Power of Self-Advocacy

A major focus of our game was learning how and when to ask for help. We discussed that successful students aren't those who know every answer, but those who recognize when they are stuck and know how to advocate for themselves. We practiced using "help-seeking" prompts, such as:

• "I’ve tried the first two steps, but I’m not sure what to do next. Can you guide me?"

• "I am feeling overwhelmed. Can we break this task down together?"

Reinforcing Success Habits at Home

To help these skills transfer from the classroom to your daily routine, consider these "Home Connections":

• The "Night-Before" Audit: Encourage your child to spend five minutes before bed "prepping for success." This includes checking their folder for forms, packing their bag, and setting out their shoes.

• Narrate Your Own Strategies: When you use a calendar or make a "To-Do" list, show your child. Say, "I have a big project at work, so I’m breaking it into three small parts so I don't feel overwhelmed."

• Value the Process, Not Just the Grade: When your child completes homework right away or organizes their desk, praise the habit. "I noticed you did your homework as soon as you got home. That shows great self-discipline!"

By making these success strategies interactive and fun, we are helping our 3rd graders build the confidence they need to take ownership of their learning journey!

October is Anti- bullying month

This month, our 3rd-grade counseling lessons have centered on a vital theme: Building Courage and Kindness. Using the engaging story The Recess Queen by Alexis O'Neill, we have begun a deep dive into social dynamics, the power of inclusion, and the importance of standing up for one another.

Understanding the "Three Pillars" of Bullying

In 3rd grade, social interactions become more complex, and it is essential for students to have a precise vocabulary to describe their experiences. We worked together to define Bullying not just as "being mean," but as a specific set of behaviors characterized by three criteria:

1. Intentional: The behavior is done on purpose to hurt or intimidate.

2. Ongoing: It is not a one-time occurrence; it happens repeatedly over time.

3. Imbalance of Power: There is a real or perceived difference in social or physical "power" that makes it difficult for the person being targeted to defend themselves.

Developing Empathy: The Heart of the Lesson

Through the character of "Mean Jean" in The Recess Queen, students explored the emotional impact of intimidation. We discussed how it feels to be excluded or treated unkindly and, conversely, the incredible impact of being a "Buddy, Not a Bully." We are teaching students that being a buddy means noticing when someone is lonely and having the confidence to invite them in.

Looking Ahead: Conflict vs. Bullying

As we continue through October, we will be refining our understanding of social interactions by distinguishing between Normal Peer Conflict (disagreements where both parties have equal power) and Bullying. Students will learn specific strategies for:

• Assertive Communication: Using "I-statements" to set boundaries.

• Reporting vs. Tattling: Understanding that we "report" to a trusted adult to keep someone safe, not just to get someone in trouble.

Home Connection: How to Support Your Child

You can reinforce these lessons by encouraging open dialogue at home:

• Ask "The Recess Question": Instead of asking "How was school?", try asking: "Did you see anyone being a 'Buddy' today? Did you see anyone who looked like they needed a friend?"

• Identify Trusted Adults: Help your child identify three "Trusted Adults" at school and at home whom they can go to if they ever feel unsafe or see someone else being treated unkindly.

• Role-Play Assertiveness: If your child mentions a disagreement, practice a "Strong and Brave" voice together. Say: "I don't like it when you use that name. Please stop."

By providing our students with clear definitions and actionable tools, we are empowering them to create a school environment where everyone feels they belong.

November - Empathy in Action

Following Anti-bullying month, in November we focus on ways to encourage empathy and inclusion.  

The "Rude, Mean, or Bullying" Framework

To help students navigate social friction, we are using a specific framework to categorize behaviors. Understanding these distinctions helps children respond appropriately and reduces unnecessary anxiety:

• Rude (Accidental): Saying or doing something hurtful that wasn't planned. It is often a "social slip-up," like cutting in line or interrupting.

• Mean (Purposeful/Single Incident): Saying or doing something hurtful on purpose, but it only happens once or twice. Usually fueled by anger or a heat-of-the-moment reaction.

• Bullying (Intentional/Ongoing): Purposeful, repeated behavior where there is an imbalance of power, leaving the other person feeling targeted or unsafe.

Teasing: Is it "Harmless" or "Hurtful"?

We read a story about a Bully Monster and a Tease Monster to explore the gray areas of social play. We discussed that teasing is only "fun" if everyone involved is laughing.

A key focus was Perspective-Taking: teaching students that even if they intend for a joke to be funny, if the other person perceives it as hurtful, the behavior must stop. We are encouraging students to develop "social radar" to notice if a friend's body language or facial expressions show they aren't enjoying the joke.

The Bravery to Speak Up

The heart of this month’s message is Self-Advocacy. We are empowering students with two essential tools:

1. The Voice to Express: Giving students the bravery to say, "That teasing doesn't feel like fun to me. Please stop."

2. The Heart to Hear: Giving students the empathy to say, "I didn't realize that hurt your feelings. I'm sorry, and I will stop."

Home Connection: Continuing the Conversation

Parents can reinforce these "FIRE Week" goals by using these strategies at home:

• Audit Your "Teasing": Families often tease each other affectionately. Use this as a teaching moment by asking, "I was just joking, but did that feel okay to you?" This models the value of checking in on others' feelings.

• Label the Behavior: If your child comes home with a story about a peer, help them categorize it. Was the peer being rude (unthinking) or mean (on purpose)? This helps children decide if they need to ignore it, use an "I-statement," or report it to an adult.

• Practice "The Pivot": If your child accidentally says something rude, practice how to make a "sincere repair." A quick, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to come out that way," is a powerful tool for maintaining friendships.

By working together, we are helping our 3rd graders move beyond just "following rules" and toward truly understanding the weight and value of their words.

Don't Flip Your Lid!

This is one of the most transformative lessons we teach in school counseling. Based on the work of Dr. Dan Siegel, the "Upstairs/Downstairs Brain" model gives 3rd graders a concrete, visual way to understand their complex emotions. Instead of feeling "bad" for being angry, they learn to see their brain as a team that sometimes loses its connection.

This month, our 3rd graders explored the "Control Center" of their emotions. We learned that for us to be successful, our "Upstairs Brain" and "Downstairs Brain" need to work together.

Understanding the Anatomy of a "Flip"

To make brain science accessible, we used a simple hand model:

• The Downstairs Brain (The Hand/Palm): This is the home of the Amygdala, which we call our "Guard Dog." Its job is to keep us safe. When it senses danger or high stress, it barks to alert us.

• The Upstairs Brain (The Fingers/Cortex): This is our "Wise Leader." It handles logic, problem-solving, empathy, and self-control. When it is tucked down over the thumb, the brain is connected and calm.

• "Flipping the Lid": When we are frustrated, overwhelmed, or scared, the Guard Dog takes over and the Wise Leader "flips up" and loses control. In this state, we can’t think clearly—we can only react (fight, flight, or freeze).

The Lesson: Calming the Guard Dog

We practiced strategies to "tuck our lids back in" so our Wise Leader can take charge again. Students learned that you cannot reason with a Guard Dog while it’s barking! You must first soothe the Downstairs Brain using physical regulation tools:

• Deep Breathing: Snail breathing or "square breathing" to signal safety to the brain.

• Grounding: Finding five things they can see or three things they can touch.

• Positive Self-Talk: Reminding the Guard Dog, "I am frustrated, but I am safe."

Tips for Parents: Regulation at Home

Third grade is a peak time for "flipped lids" as academic and social pressures increase. You can support this brain-focused strategy with these steps:

1. Use the Common Language When your child is starting to escalate, use the visual. You might say, "It looks like your Guard Dog is starting to bark. Do you feel your lid starting to flip?" This externalizes the problem—it’s not that the child is being "bad," it's that their brain is reacting to stress.

2. Wait for the "Reset" Never try to teach a lesson or discipline a child while their lid is flipped. Their "Logic Center" is literally offline. Wait until they are regulated (lid tucked back in) before discussing what happened.

3. Model Your Own Brain State Be transparent about your own emotions! "I’m feeling very overwhelmed right now and I’m about to flip my lid. I’m going to take three deep breaths so my Wise Leader can stay in charge."

4. Create a "Calm-Down Kit" Help your child gather items that soothe their Downstairs Brain—fidgets, a soft blanket, or a favorite book. Call this their "Lid-Closer Kit."

Why This Matters

By teaching children the "why" behind their big feelings, we move from shame to empowerment. When a student knows how to calm their own "Guard Dog," they are building a foundation for lifelong emotional intelligence and resilience.

December: The Gift of Gratitude & Growth

This December, our 3rd graders are exploring the virtue of Gratitude. While we often think of gratitude as saying "thank you" for a gift, we are teaching students that true gratitude is a mindset—a way of looking at the world that helps us stay resilient, even when things are difficult.

Gumball Gratitude: Choosing the "Bright Side"

To make this concept concrete, students played an interactive game called "Gumball Gratitude." Each "gumball" represented a different life scenario—some positive and some challenging. Students practiced "popping" the negative thoughts and choosing a response that focused on the "bright side" of the situation.

For example:

• The Challenge: "I practiced hard but I didn't make the starting team."

• The Gratitude Shift: "I am grateful I have the chance to play and get better at my skills this season."

Gratitude Meets Growth Mindset

A unique part of our lesson was discussing how to be grateful for challenges. We linked gratitude to our Growth Mindset work, teaching students that we can be thankful for mistakes because they are the "brain food" that helps us learn. We are encouraging students to move from "I can't do this" to "I am grateful for the chance to try something hard."

Home Connection: Cultivating a Grateful Home

Gratitude is like a muscle—the more we exercise it, the stronger it gets. Here are a few ways you can reinforce "Gumball Gratitude" at home during the winter break:

1. The "Silver Lining" Game During dinner or a car ride, present a minor "bummer" (like a rainy day or a cancelled plan) and challenge everyone to find one "silver lining." This helps children practice Cognitive Reframing—the ability to shift their perspective.

2. Model "Grateful Venting" When you have a tough day, let your child hear you process it. "I’m frustrated that my car broke down, but I’m so grateful that we have a kind neighbor who gave me a ride." This shows them that gratitude can coexist with hard feelings.

3. Gratitude "Rose, Bud, and Thorn" Try this twist on a classic reflection:

• Rose: Something that went well today.

• Thorn: Something that was a challenge.

• Bud: Something you are grateful to try or learn tomorrow (the Growth Mindset).

4. The Gratitude Jar Keep a jar and small slips of paper in a central location. Encourage family members to jot down one "small win" or "everyday joy" each day. Reading these together at the end of the week provides a powerful visual of how much good exists in our daily lives.

Why This Matters

Research shows that practicing gratitude increases happiness, improves sleep, and helps children manage stress. By teaching our 3rd graders to look for the "bright side" now, we are giving them a tool that will support their mental health for a lifetime.

Gifts, Goals, and the Power of One Big Team

As we prepare for the winter break, our 3rd-grade lessons focused on three pillars of emotional intelligence: Collaboration, Reflection, and Mindfulness.

1. The "Whole-Class" Challenge: Unity in Action

To celebrate the end of the year, students participated in a holiday-themed building game that required the entire class to work together as one large team. Rather than competing in small groups, the students had to coordinate their efforts, communicate across the room, and rely on every single classmate to reach a common goal.

• The Focus: We practiced "Community Language." Instead of saying "I'm done," students learned to ask, "Who needs my help?" or "How can we make this stronger together?"

• The Lesson: Success in 3rd grade is a collective effort. By working as a whole-class unit, students realized that our classroom is a community where everyone’s contribution is essential for the "big picture" to succeed.

2. Gifts & Goals: Looking Toward the New Year

We asked students to reflect on their "Gifts"—the unique strengths they brought to our class team this fall—and their "Goals" for the second half of the year.

• Gifts: These are strengths like being a "master organizer," a "peace-maker," or a "creative problem-solver."

• Goals: These are personal growth areas for January, such as improving focus during transitions or mastering a new academic skill.

• The Framework: We used a Growth Mindset lens. We discussed that we aren't born with all our skills; we "grow" them through effort and the bravery to try new things.

3. Mindfulness: Finding the Calm

With the high energy of the holiday season, we spent time practicing Mindfulness. We discussed being "present in the moment"—slowing down to notice the small joys of the season. We practiced "Calm and Comfort" breathing, a technique students can use whenever they feel the "holiday rush" becoming overwhelming.

Home Connection: Bringing the Lessons to Life

The winter break is a perfect time to reinforce these concepts in a relaxed setting. Here are a few ways you can encourage these habits at home:

1. The "Family Team" Mentality Reinforce our whole-class lesson by identifying a "Family Goal" (like cleaning up after a meal or decorating). Remind your child: "Just like in your classroom, our family is one big team. How can we work together to get this done faster?"

2. Practice "The Power of Yet" If your child expresses frustration over a holiday craft or a new game, gently add the word "yet" to their sentence. "I can't get this to stay... yet!" This simple shift keeps the Positive Mindset alive.

3. Model "The Present Moment" Try to take a "Mindful Minute" together once a day. Sit quietly and see how many sounds you can hear, or focus entirely on the warmth of a holiday treat. This teaches them that it’s okay to slow down and enjoy the Calm and Comfort.

By focusing on our collective strengths and setting intentional goals, we are helping our 3rd graders return in January feeling refreshed, connected, and ready for a successful second half of the year.

February: Navigating the Digital Playground

In 3rd and 4th grade, many students are beginning to explore online gaming (like Roblox, Minecraft, or Fortnite) and educational platforms. Our lessons focus on giving them a "Digital Compass" to help them make safe choices when an adult isn't looking over their shoulder.

Key Lesson Highlights:

• The "Private Information" Rule: Students learned that personal details like their full name, home address, school name, and even their "real-life" location are Private Information and should never be shared with someone they only know online.

• Navigating Game Chat: Many games have open chat features. We discussed that "friends" in a game are different from "friends" in real life. We taught students how to identify Red Flags, such as people asking personal questions or using inappropriate language.

• The "Uncomfortable" Feeling: We empowered students to trust their gut. If they see something "scary" or "weird" online, they aren't in trouble—they just need to "Minimize, Tell, and Talk."

• Cyberbullying: We discussed how to be an "Upstander" online. This includes not responding to mean comments, blocking individuals who are unkind, and showing evidence to a trusted adult.

Home Connection: Building a Digital Safety Net

Parents, you are the most important "Moderator" in your child’s digital life. Here is how you can reinforce these NetSmartz lessons at home:

1. Create a "Digital Front Door" Policy Treat the internet like your front door. You wouldn't let a stranger walk into your living room and talk to your child; the internet is no different. Keep devices in shared family spaces (like the kitchen or living room) rather than bedrooms to allow for casual "shoulder-surfing" check-ins.

2. Practice the "Billboard Test" Ask your child: "If this message or photo was put on a giant billboard in front of our school for everyone to see, would you be okay with it?" This helps them understand the permanence of what they share online.

3. Set Up "Report and Block" Training Sit down with your child and have them show you how to block and report someone on their favorite game. Make it a scavenger hunt! Saying, "Show me how you'd block a mean player," gives them the muscle memory to do it when you aren't there.

4. Establish a "No-Trouble" Rule Oftentimes, children don't tell parents about scary online encounters because they fear their device will be taken away. Tell them: "If you see something that makes you feel weird or scared, you can always tell me. I won't be mad, and we will figure out how to handle it together."

Developing Digital Resilience

By teaching these skills now, we are helping our students build the habits they will need as they move toward middle school and more independent internet use. Our goal is for them to be "NetSmart"—knowing that they have the power to stay safe and the support of the adults around them.