SESSION NINE: AN INVITATION TO DEVELOP A “RULE OF LIFE”
PDF of Audio – Based on chapter ten of Soul Feast, pp. 149-165.
When it comes to spiritual growth humans are much like plants, we need structure and support. Otherwise, our spirituality grows only in a confused and disorderly way. We need structure in order to have enough space, air, and light to flourish. Structure gives us the freedom to grow as we are meant to.
There is a name in Christian tradition for the kind of structure that supports our spiritual growth. It is called a rule of life. Without a rule of life, very little of what we have been exploring in these sessions will prove to be of lasting value to you. This final session is an opportunity for you to begin putting together what you have learned. It is time to make choices concerning the spiritual practices you feel called to engage in.
A rule of life is a pattern of spiritual disciplines that provides structure and direction for growth in holiness. By pattern, we mean attitudes (like gratefulness), behaviors, or elements that are routine, repeated, and/or regular. A rule of life is meant to establish a rhythm of daily living in which new freedoms can grow into wholeness.
In Christian tradition, the best known example we have of a rule of life is the Rule of St. Benedict. St. Benedict developed a Rule of Life for his community. A rule was not so much a system of rules but rather a way of regulating or regularizing the lives of those in the community to stay focused on the path they had set out for themselves. The rule was descriptive, setting out intentions identifying the way to live as Christians.
It was not something fixed or rigid, but something which was adapted to the present circumstances.
As such your rule of life is a guide, it is not meant to be rigid, or restrictive, but rather is meant to help you establish a rhythm of daily living that you can commit to. It should bring balance to your life through prayer, rest, work and your relationships (refer to chart). There is not one-size-fits all when it comes to making a rule of life, since these reflect the needs and spiritual aspirations of those who devise them. Pages 152 and 153 of Soul Feast give a couple of examples and pages 153 and 154 suggest starting with a faith-illumined inventory, paying attention to your unique situation. For example, are you married, having made vows before God and the community? Do you have children? Do you care for aging parents? Do you consider your work a vocation? As you can see, your actual commitments and responsibilities are key dimensions to your rule. Your rule should have realistic expectations. In addition, you need consider your “personal traits” such as whether you are introverted or extroverted. Do you relate more to the rational or feeling side of life? Do you like clear structure and regular habits or do you prefer spontaneity and variation?
When making a rule keep it simple. Don’t feel you need to do everything, all at once! Let yourself grow into it, even as you make adjustments along the way. The first thing to do is to pay attention to what you feel most attracted to. Go back over the sessions and chapter headings in this course. Think about the invitations to explore and the different prayer practices that we described. Is there anything that “has your name on it?” Is it suited for you? Then bring these things to prayer. Go to it!
After you make your “rule of life,” don’t fret over tripping up as you are learning to walk in a particular way. Be patient with yourself, allowing yourself the grace of starting fresh each day with renewed commitment. Remember, this is something we grow into.
Once you have decided on a rule of life that challenges you realistically, write it down in the simplest possible terms. Place a copy of your rule of life where you can review it frequently, preferably near where you most often pray. Choose at least one person you love and trust to share your rule with. Ask that person to pray for you and help hold you accountable. If you have a spiritual friend or decide to seek a spiritual director, this would be the natural person with whom to share your rule.
In summary there are three basic steps in devising a rule of life:
Step 1: Take a faith-illumined inventory of your life as it stands, your lifestyle and commitments (SF pp. 153-154),
Step 2: Prayerfully discern what will help you grow toward a deeper communion with God, creation, and others.
Step 3: Make realistic choices about what you can actually commit to.
An example of a rule of life is as follows:
Sunday Eucharist.
Journaling.
See Christ in all people, especially those I meet during my day.
Adequate rest and diet.
Be more intentional about my relationships.
A second example of a rule of life may be:
Sunday Eucharist.
Daily spiritual reading.
Journaling.
Practicing hospitality.
Nurturing a spiritual friendship or getting more connected with the Christian or parish community.
Moreover, you may want to insert some practices seasonally, like the Stations of the Cross or Walking the Labyrinth during Lent.
Concluding Thoughts
As we come to the end of this e-course, it should be clear by now that the spiritual life in Christian practice is a joint intention. It joins the personal and the corporate: our individual efforts need to be practiced in the context of a community of believers. It joins the inner spiritual journey of transformation with the outer journey of sacred service. It joins God’s intent for us with our own inner intent to love and serve God more deeply.
I want to end this final session and this course with a quote from Jesuit Pedro Arrupe:
“Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you will do with your evenings, how you will spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love and it will decide everything.”