Intimate Partner Violence
What is Intimate Partner Violence?
Relationship abuse can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure, or wound someone.
Recognizing Signs of Abuse
Does your partner...
Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
Put down your accomplishments?
Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
Tell you that you are nothing without them?
Treat you roughly—grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?
Call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
Blame you for how they feel or act?
Pressure you sexually for things you aren’t ready for?
Make you feel like there is “no way out” of the relationship?
Prevent you from doing things you want – like spending time with friends or family?
Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to “teach you a lesson”?
Do you...
Sometimes feel scared of how your partner may behave?
Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behaviour?
Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?
Always remember...
NO ONE deserves to be abused. The abuse is not your fault. You are not alone.
DON’T worry about threats to your visa. We have information about visa options for your situation.
DON’T worry if you do not speak the local language. We can get you help in many Languages.
*Information taken from the UN
Concerned for someone else?
How you can help victims of domestic abuse?
Listen and believe the abused person to let them know they are not alone.
Encourage her/him seek support through a confidential hotline to connect with a professional in the field.
Express concern for him/her, show support, and offer referrals to available resources.
If you have not been directly approached but have reason to believe that a colleague may be in an abusive relationship, consult with your Organization’s Counselling or Ombudsman’s Office >
Note: Keep in mind that a survivor often makes several attempts to leave the abusive relationship before succeeding.
Recognize the Signal
This signal is used discreetly to represent that the person is facing violence in the home or is in distress, such as being kidnapped, sex trafficked or in any unsafe situation and need help. The signal is performed by holding your hand up with your thumb tucked into your palm, then folding your fingers down, symbolically trapping your thumb in your fingers. If you see someone use this signal, call 911 immediately
Domestic & Sexual Violence Resources
National Domestic Violence Hotline: Through this hotline an advocate can provide local direct service resources (safe house shelters, transportation, casework assistance) and crisis intervention. Interpreter services available in 170 languages. They also partner with the Abused Deaf Women's Advocacy Center to provide a videophone option. Hotline: 800.799.SAFE
National Teen Dating Abuse Online Helpline: This online helpline assists teens who are, or may be, in abusive relationships.
National Coalition against Domestic Violence: The national coalition of Domestic Violence organizations is dedicated to empowering victims and changing society to a zero tolerance policy.
National Sexual Assault Hotline: National hotline, operated by RAINN, that serves people affected by sexual violence. It automatically routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search your local center here. Hotline: 800.656.HOPE
National Sexual Violence Resource Center: This site offers a wide variety of information relating to sexual violence including a large legal resource library.
National Organization for Victim Assistance: Founded in 1975, NOVA is the oldest national victim assistance organization of its type in the United States as the recognized leader in this noble cause.
National Online Resource Center on Violence Against Women: VAWnet, a project of the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence hosts a resource library home of thousands of materials on violence against women and related issues, with particular attention to its intersections with various forms of oppression.
*Find more information and resources surrounding sexual violence in the "Sexual Assault & Harassment" section