Relationship-Building

It is acceptable to give students a specific time later when you can speak more in-depth and follow-through. This also provides time to process the information and determine how to best respond to the student or to consult with a school counselor or school social worker.

Thank you for sharing that with me.

I don't have the answer to that right now, but I will try to get an answer for you and get back to you.

This HAS been difficult.

I am so glad you told me.

What else can I do to help?

It sounds like you have been holding a lot in.

It seems like you have been thinking about a lot.

What are your thoughts about us sharing some of this with (insert name of school counselor, social worker, school psychologist)?

Who can you talk to about these big feelings when you aren't at school?

What made you think about that?

What was that like for you?

You have been carrying around some really strong feelings.

I feel like that, too, sometimes.

I'm here.

If you need more time, let me know.

What do you think you need?

That was very brave of you, we're in this together.

I'm noticing some big feelings, I am here to support you.

I hear you saying,______________(paraphrase in different words and clear language what the child told you), did I get that right?

What you just shared sounds really important. Let’s take time to touch base about this ________(ie before lunch).

That’s a great question, I need a little time to think about it and I’ll get back to you_________(give specific time to follow-up).

Let's sit together for a few minutes.

Trauma Informed Principles for Promoting School and Community Success

HEARTS is guided by six core guiding principles for creating trauma-informed schools. These principles are modified from those of the San Francisco Department of Public Health Trauma Informed Systems Initiative (SFDPH TIS), an initiative that the HEARTS director played a significant role in developing and implementing.

These six principles are applied to students and adult members of the school community (staff, caregivers, leadership) alike, as well as to the school system as a whole. They are aimed at promoting wellness and school success for all, and are particularly important for those impacted by trauma. While many of these principles are part of standard educational practices, the negative effects of chronic stress and trauma can make it difficult to consistently abide by them. We believe that educational strategies, procedures, and policies ultimately need to forward each of these six principles in order to be completely trauma-informed, and that practices can potentially be trauma-inducing if they go against any one of these principles. We have found it helpful to organize our trainings, consultations, and supports by these principles, and to use them to guide problem-solving discussions.

Search Institute’s research is demonstrating that when young people experience developmental relationships with parents, educators, youth program staff, and other adults, their outcomes are better, their risk behaviors are lower, and they are more likely to be on the path to thrive in life. Staff in schools and youth programs do not need to and should not stop seeking to build developmental relationships with young people while they are at home during the nation’s response to the COVID-19 crisis. Every time you take one of the relationship-building steps below in the critical weeks ahead, place a check next to it and know that you have made a valuable contribution to helping young people weather this storm.

Check-in with EVERYONE daily. Thumbs-up, thumbs-down, thumbs-in-the-middle - this gives a very quick snapshot of where students are emotionally. It also allows for students who are more reserved to share in a safe way that does not have to involve speaking. Let students know you will be selecting a few students to share if they want, but they can pass if they do not want to share.

Explain thumbs-up =great /doing well. Thumbs-down =not doing great/bad day. Thumbs-in-the-middle= not great /not terrible/normal day. Select several to share out. End with a student with a thumbs-up to leave group with a sense of positivity. Take note if a student consistently passes or has a thumbs-down and follow-up individually. Also try to notice those who have thumbs-down and where they appear to be throughout day.

This can be used at end of day, as well during Closing Circle. Ask students to think about how their day progressed. Did it change? How? How are they feeling about going home? Have a few (or all) students share out. Encourage having students name a feeling word - not just good or bad- but, sad, depressed, scared, anxious, worried, wondering, excited, etc.

Video Biography:

One of the easiest, most straight forward, strategies an online teacher can use is to create a video biography of him- or herself welcoming the students to class. The instructor may elect to share as much or as little personal information as he or she feels comfortable. However, many students have expressed the desire to learn as much as possible about their teachers and the experiences they bring to the classroom. A well-developed video introduction may help establish the credibility of the instructor from the first moment the class begins (Draus et al., 2014). These videos should be conversational and casual in tone. Items such as teaching experience, colleges attended, degrees, and such are standard items to include, but the instructor should not be afraid to add more. Topics such as hobbies and extracurricular interests provide students with a tangible, potentially common, bond immediately. Shared experiences and interests can instantly engage an online student. Nonspecific information about spouses, children, and pets are also very popular with students. (Martin, Jeffery. (Date?) Building Relationships and Increasing Engagement in the Virtual Classroom: Practical Tools for Online Instructors. Grand Canyon University Journal of Educators Online https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1204379.pdf

For class check-ins you can ask students to share the following thoughts/feelings:

• Rose- something positive that happened this past week.

• Bud-something you are looking forward to next week.

• Thorn-something you need help with within the next week.

(Panorama Education. Building Connectedness and Belonging While Schools Are Closed April 2020).

Morning/Afternoon Group Check-In (10-15 minutes)

Group Norms:

• Raise your hand to be called on

• 1 friend speaks at a time

• Use kind and respectful words

• When explaining the structure of the group it is helpful for the facilitator to explain that everyone who wants to talk will have the opportunity to share and offer feedback to another student. I usually write the group norms on the board or have a sign with them on it. The purpose is for us to create a safe space to share and offer support.

• The facilitator asks the students to raise their hand if they would like to share. Remind them that they do not have to share and that listening is a form of participating. Write the list of students who would like to talk on the board. If a student is unsure as to whether or not they would like to share you can always write their name on the board with a question mark and ask them again when it is their turn.

• Once the norms have been established the first student is called on to share. Typically I ask them “would you like feedback?” If they state “yes” they share and when they are finished the other students can raise their hands to offer words of encouragement (this may need to be explained). As the facilitator I usually offer at least a few words of support especially if other students are unwilling to offer feedback. If several students raise their hand you can call on 1-2 students and ask the others to share kind words with the student after the group. If a student is struggling to think of what to say it can be helpful to prompt them to discuss “what is one thing that is going well and one thing that is not going well?” Once a student is finished sharing and feedback is complete we offer them a round of applause and move onto the next student.

• When the students on the list have all shared I usually ask them to rate their week with a thumbs up/down/middle. It can be helpful to illustrate the emotional ups and downs we are going through by drawing a roller coaster and normalizing high and low feeling shifts.

• I usually end the group by asking “who would like extra support moving forward?” Students can then raise their hands and briefly say why.

Note: It can be helpful to highlight themes, commonalities, and kind feedback. This structure typically works best if it is used at least once a week to build some predictability and familiarity with the norms. For younger students it can be helpful to create a word bank of statements (i.e. “I like what you said”, “I’ve been sad before too”, etc. to familiarize them with active listening and summarizing)

Inside Out: Guessing the Feelings

• Pause the video to allow students to raise their hands and name the emotion. (Grades K-5)

Brene Brown: Lesson on Empathy

• Author Brene Brown uses animation to explain the difference between empathy and sympathy. After playing the video ask students to think of and share examples where they have experienced this with others. (Grades 4-5)

Snack Attack: Empathy and Stereotypes

• A silent animated video that demonstrates how we sometimes falsely judge others. It may be best to have them watch the video and offer their thoughts on what the elderly woman may be thinking. A bit more complex, so it will be important to explain the thinking behind the character roles to wrap up. (Grades 4-5)

Alfred and the Shadow: A Short Story on Emotions

• An informative video that dissects the core emotions and focuses on the root of "pain-based behaviors". The discussion covers how emotional experiences impact our actions and how we develop relationships. (Grades K-5)

By Random Acts of Kindness Foundation

Lots of fun and doable ideas for kids and staff!

By CASEL. Simple questions and statements geared to help your student start to better understand their own developing strengths and challenges. Use these during Morning Meetings or anytime throughout the day.

By Centervention: lessons, activities, and printables – in the following skill areas: Communication, Cooperation, Emotion Regulation, Empathy, Impulse Control, and Social Initiation.

Emotional ABCs Classroom is a teacher-led, research-based Social Emotional Learning (SEL) curriculum that provides teachers (K–3) with 20 sequential Workshops, support materials, and a flexible structure for classroom instruction.

Sesame Street friends offer games, videos, printables and other resources. Fun!

Directions: Create a physical circle with chairs or standing. All children and adults who are involved with the conflict are included in the circle. Each person answers the questions asked without interruption. The facilitator may choose to use a "talking stick" to indicate who has the turn. All will listen to the responses of others in the circle with respect and without comment or response.

Restorative Questions:

To Respond to Challenging Behavior:

• What happened?

• What were you thinking at the time?

• What have you thought about since?

• Who has been affected by what you have done?

• In what way?

• What do you think you need to do to make things right?

To help those harmed by other's actions:

• What did you think when you realized what had happened?

• What impact has this incident had on you or others?

• What has been the hardest thing for you?

• What do you think needs to happen to make things right again?