Self-Regulation
Introduction: “There is one life skill that is the most important one to teach our children. To call it one skill, however, is a little misleading. It’s really a set of skills– a whole host of skills. At the center of those skills is the ability to control something– a behavior, a thought, an impulse, movement, or a feeling. Generally, this is called self-regulation.” - Ashley Soderlund (Child Psychologist)
We use the language of character strengths to organize supporting strategies for self-regulation and the self-awareness that underlies it.
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|Emotional Intelligence| Regulating Our Emotions
Lead discussions about positive, age-appropriate ways we can express our feelings (e.g., put our feelings into words, draw a picture or write about how we feel, create an art or media project). Offer emotional check in strategies to start the day. Cue students with agency language to draw on their coping strategies. E.g., “I see your emotional temperature rising. Which helping strategy do you want to use to bring your emotional temperature down?” Scaling questions. You are at 8, how do you get to say 3?
When students are flipping their lids, look to offer calming strategies (e.g., coloring/drawing, belly breathing, stretching, counting to ten, self-talk, relaxation exercises, mental rehearsal).
Work with your students to design a quiet place in the classroom with calming tools for when they need to take a break.
Model self-awareness strategies by explaining how you feel and how you handle the feeling(s). e.g. “I am feeling angry right now, so I need to take a break and take a walk right now or I am starting to feel upset, so I am going to go to our quiet place and take some deep breaths.”
Find whole class lesson ideas at our Wellness@ES Emotional Intelligence character strength page.
|Grit| Stamina to the Task
Give students choice options when possible to increase agency, to boost their attention span and engagement.
Students sometimes need to start at a concrete level of motivation where they can quickly feel successful. This means breaking tasks into small work steps leading to positive reinforcement early in the work completion process. This reinforcement process also builds the student’s work stamina as over time the steps can be extended in time. Self-motivation and confidence grow by earning “wins” no matter how small the task is broken into.
Find whole class lesson ideas at our Wellness@ES Grit character strength page.
|Proactivity| Regulating Our Use of Time by Planning
Use WOOP to set proactive growth goals. Help design some goals for the greater good of others. Speak to the character strength of being proactive. Examples: To help clean up/do a task so the class can move forward together.
Use “first/then” statements — such as “First push your chair in, then come sit for story time” helps with transitions while modeling for students proactive planning and self-awareness skills. Directing students to assist during class time with clearly stated steps to take helps them refocus their energy and also feel valuable.
Another way to support “first, then” understanding is by giving students choice while having them think through and write out a plan of action that contains choices with various outcomes. The point is to give students practice thinking proactively while further ingraining cause and effect thinking into their mental processing.
When developmentally feasible, guide students to predict how much time they will need for task completion. Any tasks from going to the office to classwork to organizing a soccer game offer opportunities for reflection and planning. A supporting strategy is to have students use a timer to monitor their progress.
Provide calendars, checklists and other graphic organizers to help students scaffold the flow of their day with the tasks broken down into smaller steps. Teach your students the concept of prioritizing as they write information into their graphic organizers.
Find whole class lesson ideas at our Wellness@ES Proactivity character strength page.
|Self-Control| As a Behavior Choice
Use WOOP to set self-control growth goals. Start small for easy wins. Help design some goals for the greater good of the class to help control impulses for immediate gratification. Keep a visual checklist of steps completed in working towards larger goals. Examples: To be a helper in the class/at home to help the class/family move quickly through tasks. To not call out of turn so that classmates/family members can have their time to share.
Point out the difficulty in having self-control in situations as they are occurring. Stop, explain the situation and point out how having self-control is beneficial at that moment. Example: “It is difficult right not standing in line waiting your turn for ice cream. By waiting your turn, everyone will be sure to get some while making sure there is enough ice cream for everyone.”
Find whole class lesson ideas at our Wellness@ES Self-Control character strength page.
|Social Intelligence| Regulating our Emotions and Behaviors Towards Others
Offer mini-lessons to help grow self-awareness with a focus on how students’ actions affect others. Do read alouds around themes of community, citizenship, cooperation, etc. The Creative Teaching Press has a series on Character Education.
Find whole class lesson ideas at our Wellness@ES Social Intelligence character strength page.
Bibliography:
Harvard Center for The Developing Child
Natalie Rouse
National Center for Learning Disabilities- Executive Function 101