Home Letters

Letters Home to Parents

Note: The following is a collection of letters that teachers wrote to parents about behavior concerns. They are offered for your review to choose from to assist in your notes to parents.

Dear ------,

Today at school, --'s friend made physical contact with him during the soccer game, which made -- feel quite angry. He pushed his friend in the hallway during an altercation which I witnessed.

Physical contact is not allowed during recess soccer, so he was right to be upset. However, he needs to work on managing his emotions, especially not using physical force when he is angry.

Below is a list that -- created with me today. It would be helpful if you looked at the list with him and helped him talk through what happened today. Please let us know how it goes.

What to do when I am angry in recess:

  1. Walk away and go play with my friends
  2. Do my lucky dance
  3. Talk to someone: teacher, friends, counselor
  4. Read a book that calms me down
  5. Watch something funny on YouTube
  6. Do a magic trick

As a result of this, -- is going to take the week off of soccer at recess. I will encourage him to use the library, MakerSpace, spiderweb, big top, and other facilities during his free time.

____________________

Dear Parents,

I hope this email finds you healthy and well. I would like to ask for your continued support at home. You will find a letter from your child in their blue folder. Please ask your child to read this aloud, sign it so that I know you have seen it, and return it in your child's blue folder to school tomorrow.

The last three weeks have been very challenging for ------ behaviorally. He has been struggling in listening to his teachers' directions (classroom, assistants, and specialist area teachers), keeping his hands to himself, making good choices in the bathroom, and using an inside voice (volume) in the classroom. Here are some things we have been trying to help him through the last three weeks:

  • Repeating the directions in a calm, respectful manner
  • Stating the consequences ("I will give you three warnings. If I get to three, you will not be able to continue playing with your friends.")
  • Giving reminders about rules ("When you go into the bathroom today, remember to go pee, wash your hands, and come out into the hall right away.")
  • Meeting with him independently to discuss what his feelings were, why he made the choices he did, and what better choices would be in the future.

These strategies normally work very well in our school and classroom. However, I am not seeing an improvement in the last three weeks. I will be adding the following strategy:

  • Communicate with the parents if there is a significant problem during the day

By adding this new strategy, we may be able to help ---- understand how important it is to both his teachers and his parents to demonstrate our SSIS core values of Respect for All and Sense of Self. I will try this for the next two weeks, and then reflect on whether it has helped ------ to improve his behavior.

Today our Teaching Assistant spoke with ------- multiple times about not playing, touching, or shouting in the bathrooms and hallways. He continued to demonstrate these behaviors, so he has written you a letter to describe the situation. Please sign this letter (in his blue folder) and send it back to school.

Also, please communicate with me if there is anything happening at home that may be affecting ------'s behavior at school. Has he experienced any major life changes at home? Is he getting enough sleep?

----- continues to be interested in our learning activities and choice time learning. He loves to share his ideas with the class, and wants to nurture friendships with other students. I remain confident that by working together, we can help ------- to improve in his behavior.

Kind regards,

__________________

Dear ------,

What a great year we have had with ------ so far! As we have discussed in the past, ----- has made some great progress both at home and at school. He is working hard in our classroom, and is interested in pleasing his teachers and the other students. ------- continues to be curious about learning, expresses himself clearly when speaking, and enjoys reading and listening to stories.

We have also discussed ways in which ------- is challenged by learning. Some areas that are particularly difficult for him are reading, writing, and math fluency. ------- has been receiving extra instructional help in these areas from (list people).

Although we have seen ------ make some progress, we would like to meet with you in order to discuss our concerns about his learning and how to best proceed in supporting him at school and at home.

Would you be available to meet at 3:05pm this Thursday, next Tuesday, or next Thursday?

Thank you in advance for taking the time to meet with us. We look forward to helping -------- learn and grow even more this year.

Kind regards,

_________

Dear ------,

I wanted to email you and follow up from yesterday's conversation. I spoke with -------, and she observed ----- being very silly during the dancing portion of ---- class. ----- was choosing not to follow the dance steps, doing silly moves, and trying to make his friends laugh. When he was sitting on the benches, ----- also kept turning around to talk to his friends. ------- tried many times to get him to listen, and -----'s friends told him to turn around many times.

------- and I talked about some new classroom management strategies that she will try, including clearly stating to ----- that he has three chances to listen. If he chooses not to listen to directions after three reminders, he will be removed from the class activity and given a 5-minute timeout. After his 5-minute timeout, he will be allowed to join the class and try again.

I will talk to ----- privately today. Here are some things we will discuss:

  • How did he feel when he chose to be silly and not listen during ------?
  • Did his behaviors lead to "happy, fun times" or feeling sad and upset?
  • If he wants more "happy and fun" feelings, what can he do in ------?
  • I will state the new expectation in ----- (3 warnings and a timeout). I will also let him know that I will walk him to ----- next week to observe the ----- class. I will also suggest to -------- that he sit in the back row of benches. This may help prevent some of his "attention-getting" behaviors because he will be in the back of the room instead of the front.

We will try these strategies, and see if they help.

Thank you for your continued communication and open mind and heart. It is truly a pleasure to work with you, and I appreciate your efforts and receptiveness to new ideas and strategies.

All my best,

_________

Dear Parents,

Three separate incidents occurred with ---- today, and we would appreciate it if you would discuss this issue with him. During each incident, he either kissed the shirt, hand, or cheek of one girl in our classroom. Each time, the girl said, "Stop, don't do that" and he repeated the action even though she had told him to stop.

One topic to cover is who it is appropriate to kiss.

  • It is ok to kiss moms and dads
  • It is NOT ok to kiss students at school

Another (more important issue) is one of consent and respect.

  • If a student says "STOP" you must stop your behavior
  • It is not okay to kiss someone without their permission or consent

If we like someone, there are better and more appropriate ways we can show them we like them. This might include things like:

  • Making them a card
  • Writing them a letter
  • Smiling and saying "Good morning!"
  • Asking if they would like to play at recess

It is very important that ----- learn and understand that no means no when others tell him to stop. This has been a recurring issue throughout the year, but is particularly serious when it comes to gestures like kissing.

Thank you in advance for your help with this,

_____________________________

Dear -----,

I wanted to give you a brief update of what Ms. --- and I have been observing in ----'s behavior lately. When I worked with --- one-on-one in my classroom this week, I noticed that --- seems more settled, focused on his reading and doing a better job of impulse control (stopping to think before interrupting). I am pleased to observe some of this behavior. He was more distractible when he had to work with another student in my room later in the week, but he did get his work done and he is improving in the volume of writing he is producing. In addition, ---- is reporting and we are observing that he is socializing more with peers/friends at recess. This is a very positive development in ----'s social skills.

In Ms. ----- class, he continues to work on controlling his body - "--- needs less body breaks for general whole-class lessons. For example, in a Math lesson this week, I did about a 25 - minute lesson on the rug with white boards and he was following the directions like all the other students. ---- does get excited when we are doing science or something active/hands on/creative, and at these times he likes to stand up and touch the demonstration materials when I'm teaching. During our Design Challenge this week, he and another student did a great job working together and he was in control and focused, and they completed the task well."

In terms of raising his hand (not shouting out) - This is still a goal for ----, but it's getting better.

Please let us know how ---- is doing at home. Look forward to hearing from you soon.

Best regards,

______________________

Dear -----,

Ms. ---- and I would like to thank you again for bringing to attention the incident involving ----- yesterday. We have made several plans to make sure incidents like this do not happen in the future. Here is an update from today:

1. We had a whole class discussion about our hands are only for ourselves and you are not allowed to be touching other students; especially hitting.

2. Another whole class discussion about proper behavior in the cafeteria and students are not allowed to be touching other students hats and water bottles when they are getting their lunch. (Ms. ----- passed this on also to the teachers who are on duty at our table.)

3. I talked 1:1 with the boy involved about what happened (hitting a girl in her back) and made a plan not to touch other students again.

4. I talked 1:1 with Connie about feeling safe at school and comfortable to let us (Ms. ---- and/or I) know when she feels sad or anything uncomfortable happens.

5. I have emailed all the other teachers that work with our students and have asked to keep an extra eye out just to be safe.

6. I have let our assistant principal and our school counsellor know about the situation in case it arises again.

7. Another whole class discussion around students helping other students when they need help. How it helps build their Sense of Self, it shows Respect For All and when one learns, we all learn. We also talked about the negative aspect of not sharing ideas and things and how it makes people feel.

We will continue to monitor this very closely and if anything new does arise we will contact you as soon as possible.

Thank you again for your time yesterday.

If you have any questions or concerns please let us know.

Take care,

__________________________

Dear ---------,

I hope this email finds you well. I would like to keep you updated on -----'s progress toward her goals, particularly with being responsible for her things.

First of all - she continues to be such an insightful and curious member of our class. She is really engaged in her learning and asks excellent questions. She has strong friendships, too!

Recently, ------ has experienced a slight "slide backward" in her ability to be responsible for her things. For instance, she left her backpack on the boat during the Can Gio trip (we retrieved it), and she needs 2-3 reminders daily to clean up her work space before she transitions to a new place or activity. We will of course keep supporting her here at school.

My suggestion for helping ------ at home is to involve her and ask her 3-4 ways she could be more responsible for her stuff at home. I know she will have some good ideas. :)

Also, it will be important to give her opportunities to do things by herself whenever she is capable. When an adult does something for ------ that she could do by herself, she misses out on an opportunity to try and improve her responsibility and also her motor skills.

Please let us know how it's going at home and how we can be of help. We're always here to talk if you'd like to meet in person as well.

Wishing you the very best this new year!

Warmest regards,