Christmas 2022

Forgive me... this year's snippets are focused on some very sad goodbyes - to Jo, a Wren, dog lover, partner to Hazel and then Roz; also to Brian, gifted musician and wise encourager, also to Gerry, known and loved by family and friends, church and business, and most sadly, dear Gwen.

Much loved wife to Richard, mother to Mark & Ade, grandmother to Max & Tom and dearly loved by Herberts, Bakers and Sims; Gwen died in September, fading after many years assuaging with memory loss.

Gwen lived out such love, kindness, passion, compassion, welcome, forgiveness.  She and Harry had a beautiful determination to resolve problems together in their all-too-brief seven years from 1971; they showed the release of being sorry and the power of forgiving, before a word is said.  The inscription inside the wedding band showed how much she was loved.  We were moved each day by the depth of love, kindness and generosity poured out unseen - kindness for kindness sake.  Mark offered many similarities to Her Majesty - both there for others rather than self.

Harry's was a life surrounded by books, always welcoming every viewpoint and perspective to much acclaim. He was most highly regarded in the business and is missed more each day.  A boat builder, bridge builder, fire engine & bookshelf creator, rose & fruit gardener, dog & cat lover, piano player, sidesman.  There was a pause on the journey home: 'That's where my belovèd lives' - such love, such passion... 

Gwen was so much more than a secretary, teacher, typist, actress, bank official, catching the train with cousin Peggy - until Rex appeared; Gwen started to take the later train.  A chef par excellence, deacon at Victoria Avenue Congregational, a cat lover (Fluff, Theo & Smudge), dog lover (Nana & Sam - Isambard O'Reilly); far, far more than everything done in love and kindness.

Gwen offered a dramatic rendition of Smudge out on night patrol in Church Square, Harrogate; the bathroom and airing cupboard on the first floor had a small window which Gwen used to leave ajar - t’was perfect for Smudge to return from a late evening prowl, jump through the window and leap onto Gwen’s bed, complete with the latest offering - usually a mouse, by now rather limp.  Gwen, understandably, eventually decided that enough was enough; she closed the window after being presented with several ’treats’, whereupon there was an almighty thump as Smudge tried to jump in through the (now closed) window.

Harry had died, Don had been and gone, and Rex, very sadly losing Peggy, offered solace.  They married in Beaconsfield at the end of May, 1986 and moved to Sidmouth where they played croquet, tennis, cricket umpiring (all over); we delighted in Gwen and Rex playing exhibition games of croquet at Castle Drogo.

And Rex’s generosity with the sherry; Allison wasn’t used to a schooner of the best until she was treated in Sidmouth.  We called at Sunrise shortly after they had moved in, arriving just in time for sherry in the conservatory.  I raised my concerns to Rex at the size of the glasses - to which he replied, “We have further supplies in our quarters.” (One of Andrew’s favourite memories.)  Gwen and Rex overflowed with humour, kindness, generosity and love, never at anyone else's expense.

Theatrics were another specialism.  I have many fond memories of the Avenue Players who put on highly polished performances in the church hall at Victoria Avenue.  Gwen continued to tread the boards in Sidmouth, including The Importance of being Ernest.  If the part needed her to be a sweet, unattached young lass, she would wear a plaster over her wedding ring; she refused ever to take it off, in devotion to her husband.  Sweet memories of helping Gwen learn her lines.

There are early memories included seeing Gwen's parents' car outside Clifton House School in Harrogate; some memories are faint, but always precious.  Her meringues were new to me; we were treated royally at Westminster Drive, served with real fruit, trifles.  At Rossett County Primary, Gwen was much loved.

We're unceasingly grateful for all those loving, kind souls who have gone before  - who created space to allow minds to change, admit mistakes, say sorry.  Generosity is oft taught, sometimes learnt and occasionally lived out - bearing rich fruit; perhaps some never understood how generous they were.

At her farewell, the leader said that this was the shortest reading he'd been given for a funeral, and yet so apt.  1 Corinthians 14.33 'For God is not a God of chaos but of peace as in all the congregations of the Lord’s people.”  (From the NIV UK).  Gwen's devotion and service in the Congregational church, now West Park United Reformed Church, knew love in the happiest as well as the toughest of times.  She believed in a God who could bring order out chaos; indeed, our sure hope is that she is now truly at rest, bathed in the peace that passes understanding. Mark and Ade organised the flowers & https://gwensims.muchloved.com - and so many have been so very generous. 

Gwen generously ferried Allison and me to Exeter airport as we holidayed in the Channel Islands.  She was so sweet describing how our car rattled and shook quite a bit.  She seemed to have loved her Saab called ‘NWU’ (after the letters in the registration plate); t'was selected as the easiest car for her mother to get in and out of with its low sill.  We still picture her ‘patting the dog’ - checking the upright handbrake was off.  Gwen expressed a little confusion at the fly-off handbrake Mark had fitted to the MGA.

There’s no handbrake on her now, blissfully free of the ravages of the last years.  Rest in Peace, kind and gracious one; you’re loved all the more as each day passes.

So many tears in our precious extended family for so many, including our own; so deeply loved, always remembered, never forgotten.

In the meantime... Sophie, Matthew and Andrew have continued to contribute to their pension pots and to society in various ways.   Allison retired at the start of the year, giving us much precious time together.  T'was a treat to drop in to Corris after Dinas; several delightful days enjoying the beauty of the land of my fathers.  It's been a generous year in the garden, too.  Ad Hoc keeps offering the opportunity to exercise the vocal chords and local Ecumenical Matters continue to develop, collating and promoting what's going on across the region.  Last year's Christmas listing included services and events across the south of the county below the A17 and A52... 

Our love and best wishes for Christmas and the New Year