Draft 3
The Importance of Sexual Assault Awareness,
and the Perspectives behind it
Many students find college, not only as the peak of their existence, but the setting where they can engage in intimate activities. Though these intimate activities are normal and healthy, students must also be aware of the danger in college dating. Sexual assault has served as an immense challenge to colleges, which has showed in the statistics. According to Meredith Clark (2014), an education activist and reporter for MSNBC, "an estimated one in five women will deal with sexual assault while at college". In response, Jerry Brown, California's state governor, passed the SB-967 Student Safety: Sexual Assault, otherwise known as the "Yes Means Yes" law (2013-2014). California is actually the first to create such a law (Clark 2014). Although the "Yes Means Yes" actively promotes a agreement and consent, a unified awareness and understanding of sexual assault is vital in maintaining student safety.
There is a variety of causes in the case of sexual assault. To Camille Paglia, author and University Professor of Humanities and Media Studies at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia, sexual assault is solely caused by the "Carry Nation repressiveness" feminism of today. In her essay, It's a Jungle Out There, she argues "Feminism... has put young women in danger by the truth about sex from them"(Paglia 2001, 538). Often known as Hurricane Camille, she continues,"I see in the simple, swaggering masculinity of the jock and in the noisy posturing of the heavy-metal guitarist certain fundamental, unchanging truths about sex. Masculinity is aggressive, unstable, combustible" (2001, 540). Paglia not only implies that feminism is the cause of sexual assault, but that men are "aggressive" and "unstable". While Paglia notably states her case, Susan Jacoby, author and freelance writer, argues Paglia's implications. In Jacoby's essay, Common Decency, she argues Paglia's perspective stating" These apologists for date rape-and some of them are women-are really saying that the average man cannot be trusted to exercise any impulse control"(2001, 544). Additionally, Jacoby counter argues Paglia's implication on men in which she writes, "Even the most callow youth is capable of understanding the difference between resistance and genuine fear" (2001, 546). Instead of blaming the "unchanging truths about sex"(Paglia 2001, 540), Jacoby's looks at the bigger picture writing, "Real men don't rape"(2001, 546). In comparing both authors, what they both succeed in emphasizing is the importance of understanding the issue. Sex, by nature, is biological and something that student's must be aware of. Just like Paglia correctly implies, sex is not verbal, rather subliminal (Paglia 2001, 540). In general terms, more colleges in the United States should make it clear, the horrors and dangers of college rape to both genders.
While adopting a sense of understanding, colleges should seek to create a universal consent. The Yes Means Yes law states affirmative consent is a "conscious, and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity"(SB-967), yet other colleges disagree. For example, Nick Anderson, reporter for The Washington Post, writes that Stanford alone carried 26 rape cases (2016). Through the analysis of Nick Anderson, the law should find ways to reach mainly to Ivy League schools rather than colleges in general. In addition to this, the definition of rape is confusing in the United States in general. Lydia O'Connor, reporter for the Huffington Post, and Tyler Kingsdale, the senior editor at the Huffington Post, stress this issue using Brock Turner as an example. Brock Turner has become the face of sexual assault, where they write in regard of rape, "Brock Turner was found guilty this year of three felony counts of sexual assault. Under California law, Turner is not technically a rapist because he didn’t penetrate his victim with his penis"(O'Connor and Kingkade 2016). So what really determines sexual assault? Apparently, the law determines sexual assault, rather than the victim. Whether or not the law or the victim should determine sexual assault, Rape is rape. In correspondence, laws being passed need to have more depth. Affirmative consent plays an active role in California, but what about the rest of the colleges in the United States?
The issue of sexual assault is indeed a threatening one, but there are solutions. Many programs are beginning to play a role in putting an end to the crime. On the other hand, the laws on sexual assault falls ultimately on the hands of the student. Whether the student decides to drink alcohol or to study, The "Yes Means Yes" law is a revolutionary law, yet lacking in unification with other colleges. Ultimately, if the world can adopt a system like California, the numbers of rape can drop significantly. Through understanding, awareness, and attention to detail, sexual assault can come to an end.
Reference List
Anderson, Nick. 2016. "These Colleges Have the Most Reports of Rape." The Washington Post- Grade
Point, June 7. Accessed October 18, 2016.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/grade-point/wp/2016/06/07/these-colleges-have-the-most-reports-of-rape/
Clark, Meredith. 2014. "California Governor Signs ‘Yes Means Yes’ Campus Sexual Assault Bill."
MSNBC - Education, September 29. Accessed October 18, 2016.
http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/california-governor-signs-yes-means-yes-campus-sexual-assault-bill#54395
Jacoby, Susan. 2001. "Common Decency." In Patterns for College Writing: A Rhetorical Reader and
Guide, edited by Laurie G. Kirszner and Stephen R. Mandell, 544-546. Boston: Bedford/St. Martins
O'Connor, Lydia and Tyler Kingkade. 2016. "If You Don't Get Why Campus Rape is a National Problem,
Read This." Huffington Post- College. June 24. Accessed October 18, 2016. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sexual-assault-explainer_us_5759aa2fe4b0ced23ca74f12
Paglia, Camille. 2001. "It's a Jungle Out There." In Patterns for College Writing: A Rhetorical Reader
and Guide, edited by Laurie G. Kirszner and Stephen R. Mandell, 538-541. Boston: Bedford/St.
Martin's.
SB-967 Student Safety: Sexual Assault. 2013-2014. California Legislative Information. Accessed October
26, 2016. https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/billTextClient.xhtml?bill_id=201320140SB967
Draft 2
The Importance of Sexual Assault Awareness
and the Perspectives behind it
Many students find college, not only as the peak of their existence, but the setting where they can engage in intimate activities. Though these intimate activities are normal and healthy, students must also be aware of the danger in college dating. Sexual assault has served as an immense challenge to colleges, which has showed in the statistics. ACCORDING TO (you can add transition) Meredith Clark (2014), an education activist and reporter for MSNBC, reveals a threatening result in which SHORT AND CONCISE "an estimated one in five women will deal with sexual assault while at college". In response, Jerry Brown, who continues to serve Dont need continue to serve as California's state governor, passed the SB-967 Student Safety: Sexual Assault, otherwise known as the "Yes Means Yes" law (2013-2014). According to Clark Use different transition, California is actually the first to create such a law (2014). Although the "Yes Means Yes" actively promotes a agreement and consent, a unified awareness and understanding of sexual assault is vital in maintaining student safety.
There is a variety of causes in the case of sexual assault. To Camille Paglia, author and University Professor of Humanities and Media Studies at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia, sexual assault is solely caused by the "Carry Nation repressiveness" feminism of today. In her essay, It's a Jungle Out There, she argues "Feminism... has put young women in danger by the truth about sex from them"(Paglia 2001, 538). Often known as Hurricane Camille, she continues,"I see in the simple, swaggering masculinity of the jock and in the noisy posturing of the heavy-metal guitarist certain fundamental, unchanging truths about sex. Masculinity is aggressive, unstable, combustible" (2001, 540). Paglia not only implies that feminism is the cause of sexual assault, but that men are "aggressive" and "unstable". While Paglia notably states her case, Susan Jacoby, author and freelance writer, argues Paglia's implications. In Jacoby's essay, Common Decency, she argues Paglia's perspective stating" These apologists for date rape-and some of them are women-are really saying that the average man cannot be trusted to exercise any impulse control"(2001, 544). Additionally, Jacoby counter argues Paglia's implication on men in which she writes, "Even the most callow youth is capable of understanding the difference between resistance and genuine fear" (2001, 546). Instead of blaming the "unchanging truths about sex"(Paglia 2001, 540), Jacoby's looks at the bigger picture writing, "Real men don't rape"(2001, 546). In comparing both authors, what they both succeed in emphasizing is the importance of understanding the issue. Sex, by nature, is biological and something that student's must be aware of. Just like Paglia correctly implies, sex is not verbal, rather subliminal (Paglia 2001, 540). In general terms, more colleges in the United States should make it clear, the horrors and dangers of college rape to both genders.
While adopting a sense of understanding, colleges should seek to create a universal consent. The Yes Means Yes law states affirmative consent is a "conscious, and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity"(SB-967), yet other colleges disagree. For example, Nick Anderson, reporter for The Washington Post, writes that Stanford alone carried 26 rape cases (2016). Through the analysis of Nick Anderson, the law should find ways to reach mainly to Ivy League schools rather than colleges in general. In addition to this, the definition of rape is confusing in the United States in general. Lydia O'Connor, reporter for the Huffington Post, and Tyler Kingsdale, the senior editor at the Huffington Post, stress this issue using Brock Turner as an example. Brock Turner has become the face of sexual assault, where they write in regard of rape, "Brock Turner was found guilty this year of three felony counts of sexual assault. Under California law, Turner is not technically a rapist because he didn’t penetrate his victim with his penis"(O'Connor and Kingkade 2016). So what really determines sexual assault? Apparently, the law determines sexual assault, rather than the victim. Whether or not the law or the victim should determine sexual assault, Rape is rape. In correspondence, laws being passed need to have more depth. Affirmative consent plays an active role in California, but what about the rest of the colleges in the United States?
The issue of sexual assault is indeed a threatening one, but there are solutions. Many programs are beginning to play a role in putting an end to the crime. On the other hand, the laws on sexual assault falls ultimately on the hands of the student. Whether the student decides to drink alcohol or to study, The "Yes Means Yes" law is a revolutionary law, yet lacking in unification with other colleges. Ultimately, if the world can adopt a system like California, the numbers of rape can drop significantly. Through understanding, awareness, and attention to detail, sexual assault can come to an end.
Reference List
Anderson, Nick. 2016. "These Colleges Have the Most Reports of Rape." The Washington Post- Grade
Point, June 7. Accessed October 18, 2016.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/grade-point/wp/2016/06/07/these-colleges-have-the-most-reports-of-rape/
Clark, Meredith. 2014. "California Governor Signs ‘Yes Means Yes’ Campus Sexual Assault Bill."
MSNBC - Education, September 29. Accessed October 18, 2016.
http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/california-governor-signs-yes-means-yes-campus-sexual-assault-bill#54395
Jacoby, Susan. 2001. "Common Decency." In Patterns for College Writing: A Rhetorical Reader and
Guide, edited by Laurie G. Kirszner and Stephen R. Mandell, 544-546. Boston: Bedford/St. Martins
O'Connor, Lydia and Tyler Kingkade. 2016. "If You Don't Get Why Campus Rape is a National Problem,
Read This." Huffington Post- College. June 24. Accessed October 18, 2016. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sexual-assault-explainer_us_5759aa2fe4b0ced23ca74f12
Paglia, Camille. 2001. "It's a Jungle Out There." In Patterns for College Writing: A Rhetorical Reader
and Guide, edited by Laurie G. Kirszner and Stephen R. Mandell, 538-541. Boston: Bedford/St.
Martin's.
SB-967 Student Safety: Sexual Assault. 2013-2014. California Legislative Information. Accessed October
26, 2016. https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/billTextClient.xhtml?bill_id=201320140SB967
Peer Partner: Bridget Allison
Does the essay have at least 10 in-text citations used in the paper? example: (Paglia 2001, 555) Yes
Were there a variety of in-text citations used in the paper? example: According to Parker ..... (2001, 556) etc. Yes.
Were authors introduced properly? Yes
Were there at least 5 CREDIBLE sources cited? Were they listed correctly? Yes
Was the introduction interesting? Was it effective? Was the thesis stated well? Yes it was interesting and effective.
Did the essay make sense? Was it logical? The essay did make sense.
Was the essay written well? Was it interesting to read or was it boring? The essay was at a borderline, but it flowed.
What suggestions do you have to "kick it up a notch"?What are the strengths of your partner's arguments? Weaknesses? The essay can have a lot more analysis. The weaknesses is really putting the rough draft into a well balanced essay.
Were you convinced by your partner's arguments? Did it make sense? The essay did make sense. The arguments could be made stronger.
Was the essay written with a "voice" of a college? The essay was somewhat written with a voice of a college.
Was the Chicago 2 (author/date) formatting done well? Yes, it was done well but can improve.
Spelling errors? No
Grammatical errors? Yes.
Draft 1
Many students find college, not only as the peak of their existence, but the setting where they can engage in intimate activities. Though these intimate activities are normal and healthy to humans, students must also be aware of the danger in college dating. Sexual assault has served as an immense challenge to colleges, which has showed in the statistics. Meredith Clark, an education activist and reporter for MSNBC, reveals a threatening result in which "an estimated one in five women will deal with sexual assault while at college"(2014). In response, Jerry Brown, who continues to serve as California's state governor, passed the SB-967 Student Safety: Sexual Assault, otherwise known as the "Yes Means Yes" law (2013-2014). According to Clark, California is actually the first to create such a law What does the law do (2014).While this law defines consent as an agreement to participate in sexual conduct, the"Yes Means Yes" law does not engage students the way they should. Although the "Yes Means Yes" defends the rights for typically female students, the detail within a case of sexual assault is crucial in creating student safety.
In order to use key details in using the law, colleges must see the different perspectives revolving around sexual assault. To Camille Paglia, author and University Professor of Humanities and Media Studies at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia, puts the blame of rape, actually on the victim. In her essay, It's a Jungle Out There, she argues, specifically to women, that feminism is what is actually causing this. Try being more short and conscise She states, "Feminism... has put young women in danger by the truth about sex from them"(Paglia 2001, 538). She additionally states that sex, is not verbal, rather subliminal (Paglia 2001, 540). While many have agreed with Paglia's perspective, Susan Jacoby, author and free-lance writer, argues Paglia's implications. In Jacoby's essay, Common Decency, she illustrates her mentality on Paglia" These apologists for date rape-and some of them are women-are really saying that the average man cannot be trusted to exercise any impulse control"(2001, 544). Furthermore, she concludes in writing, "Real men don't rape"(Jacoby 2001, 546). In comparing both authors, what they both succeed in emphasizing is the importance of understanding the issue. Sex, by nature, is biological and something that student's must be aware of. Counter argue more In general terms, more colleges in the United States should make it clear, the horrors and dangers of college rape to both genders. Although Paglia's implications on men are overgeneralizing, girls need to understand their limits of consent as well!
While adopting a sense of understanding, colleges must consider their definition of consent. Despite the law stating affirmative consent is a "conscious, and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity"(SB-967), there is more that this law must focus on. On the focus of Ivy League schools, Nick Anderson, reporter for The Washington Post, writes that Stanford alone carried 26 rape cases (2016). Through the analysis of Nick Anderson, the law should find ways to reach mainly to Ivy League schools rather than colleges in general. In addition to this, the definition of rape is confusing in the United States in general. Lydia O' Connor, reporter for the Huffington Post, and Tyler Kingsdale, the senior editor at the Huffington Post, stress this issue using Brock Turner as an example. Brock Turner has become the face of sexual assault, where they write in regard of rape, "Brock Turner was found guilty this year of three felony counts of sexual assault. Under California law, Turner is not technically a rapist because he didn’t penetrate his victim with his penis"(2016). Talk more about the issue
As the human race continues to evolve, relationships will continue to serve humans as a healthy part of life. On the other hand, the laws on sexual assault falls ultimately on the hands of the student. Whether the student decides to drink alcohol or to study, The "Yes Means Yes" law is indeed a revolutionary law, however it lacks proper enforcement. Nevertheless, Many schools fail to discipline students who violate this law because of reputation and the lack of credibility of a victim. Ultimately, if the world can adopt a system like California, the numbers of rape can drop significantly. Through understanding, awareness, and attention to detail, college rape needs to be discussed with earlier on with students.
Reference List
Anderson, Nick. 2016. "These Colleges Have the Most Reports of Rape" . The Washington Post- Grade Point, June 7. Acessed October 18,
2016. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/grade-point/wp/2016/06/07/these-colleges-have-the-most-reports-of-rape/
Clark, Meredith. 2014. "California Governor Signs ‘Yes Means Yes’ Campus Sexual Assault Bill." MSNBC - Education, September 29. Accessed October 18, 2016. http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/california-governor-signs-yes-means-yes-campus-sexual-assault-bill#54395
Jacoby, Susan. 2001. "Common Decency." In Patterns for College Writing: A Rhetorical Reader and Guide, edited by Laurie G. Kirszner and Stephen R.
Mandell, 544-546. Boston: Bedford/St. Martins
O'Conner, Lydia and Tyler Kingkade. 2016. "If You Don't Get Why Campus Rape is a National Problem, Read This". Huffington Post- College. June 24.
Accessed October 18, 2016. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sexual-assault-explainer_us_5759aa2fe4b0ced23ca74f12
Paglia, Camille. 2001. "It's a Jungle Out There." In Patterns for College Writing: A Rhetorical Reader and Guide, edited by Laurie G. Kirszner and Stephen
R. Mandell, 538-541. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin's.
SB-967 Student Safety: Sexual Assault. 2013-2014. California Legislative Information. Accessed October 26, 2016
https://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/billTextClient.xhtml?bill_id=201320140SB967