Quantumplation

A Quantum Description of the Universe

There are and have been many ideas concerning the nature of the Universe and some of these have become quite fashionable, though it is fair to say that some of the more traditional ideas have been losing credibility over the last few decades. Fortunately with the advent of theories such as The Universal Matrix, The Universal Mind, The Cosmic Computer, The Holographic Universe, The Fractal Universe and of course, the highly popular, Mythic Naturalism, some new and potentially exciting directions are now being investigated by some of the world's most twisted minds. It is from the ingredients contained within these humble dishes, mixed with copious amounts of imagination, intuition and a spoonful of hot chilli powder, that the following meal is now offered in small easy to swallow portions.

It has been noted by some quantum scientists that all matter is made up of extremely small particles called quanta. It has also been noted that these particles appear to be able to communicate with each other across infinite reaches of space, instantly. It has also been posited by some, that there are in fact, not many particles, but instead only one, viewed from many different perspectives. To find out why, read on. If you dare.

Note 1: Digestion of the following may be aided by intermittently sipping from a large glass of water.

Note 2: Wherever possible, the following has been written without the use of flippancy as its use would cause more illusion than the Universe originally intended.

And so it began....

Before this Universe began, there was of course, nothing - the void as it has been called. This is why even the best past-life regressors have been unable to remember any existence prior to this point. It just wasn't there. That doesn't mean that it didn't exist in some other Universe but since our focus is on this Universe, we'll assume it isn't important right now.

Now, out of this void there appeared a quantum awareness which was made of nothing but itself. This awareness, having become bored with just standing around doing nothing, decided to move an infinitely small distance to the left.

Since, of course, there was nothing else available in the void to compare this experience with, the awareness became very excited and decided to move about some more. It moved right. It moved left. It moved up. It moved down. Then finally it moved back to where it started, because it felt safer there.

Having gained some experience in its new environment not to mention a modicum of confidence, it then decided to manifest itself as two similar but opposite quanta. One was a negatively charged primary electron and the other a positively charged primary positron. This allowed itself a sense of perspective, which is always useful.

Their next action was quite interesting as they decided to collide with each other in a vain attempt at hugging. This contact caused both particles to be annihilated in a really big bang (We've heard about this one!), that resulted two things happening. Firstly, there appeared, at the point of their contact a black hole of apparent dark matter which, for the sake of argument, we will call the Zero Point Field. Secondly the annihilation caused a wave of creative photonic energy to radiate outwards in all directions.

And then it continued....

Now the original occurrence of the awareness looked on from its original spot and, having developed a real interest in all this moving around, decided it would do it some more. So it travelled down into the photonic energy field and produced some interesting creative concepts, or ICCs for short. One of these was the undeniable fact that if it has moved from where it started to where it ended up, then there must be something driving it on, and so the idea of ENERGY was hit upon.

Another ICC that then became apparent was the fact that in order to move from one place to another, there must be something in between. From this basic premise, it is easy to see how the idea of SPACE came about - the gap between what's here and what's over there.

Finally, for now anyway, the awareness noticed that it always returned to where it started and realised that it had been there before. In order for this realisation to take place, the concept of TIME was needed and so popped into existence, in no time at all.

And now for the really big jump....

Having created time, the awareness now found that it had...... well, time on its hands, quite literally and so decided do something with it. To this end, it put on its creative hat, (the purple knitted one), and set about creating 'stuff'. It did this by merely moving around, in what we now know as space, using what we now know as energy. It also did this using an amount of time which was slightly more than non at all. The upshot of this infinite speed, to the casual observer, was that the awareness seemed to be everywhere at once.

And so a new concept was created and the fourth ICC of MATTER was made real (ish). The awareness danced around creating galaxies, solar systems, planets and, of course, life itself - possibly the most annoying part of the whole thing. The time that it takes this awareness particle to traverse the whole of existence, whilst giving the illusion that there are in fact, too many particles to comfortably conceive of, can be described as the Planck time constant. The reason for this will only be made clear if it is absolutely necessary.

An analogy may be of some comfort at this point. Imagine a TV set, or better still, look at one. Switch it on and marvel at the virtual worlds that appear before you from behind the slice of glass. If you were slightly less developed, you might be forgiven for believing that what you could see was real. A whole Universe inside the box. However, as we know, the picture is actually made up by the rapid movement of a dot of light from a laser like device. This dot moves from the top left of the screen to the bottom right, then back again, but it moves so incredibly fast that it seems as if the dot exists in every position of the screen at the same time. Got it?

Good. Same thing with the Universe itself. This does of course mean that your own body is also an illusion created by this movement. Even more disconcerting is that your own consciousness is merely the temporary consciousness of this one particle as it enters the illusion of your body and mind. This is why it has been said that during our waking hours we are still never completely conscious, since consciousness is only ever present once during a single Planck time cycle. The rest of the time the mind is usually filled with the theme tune to The Simpsons or the last song we heard on the radio that day. We can't get rid of it because we're not around long enough to persuade it to leave.

Unfortunately, at this time, the Universe thus created tends to resemble a swirling mass of energy waves and is only really a potential Universe. The awareness now focuses its attention on this potential Universe of energy waves which causes the waves to collapse and form into particles with a set position within the newly created space-time continuum. And all before breakfast!

This new Universe doesn't last long as the awareness soon gets bored and retracts causing a return of this Universe to a state of swirling energy waves which eventually dissipate into it's constituent parts. Having done this, the awareness returns to its original position and state, after moving through the Zero Point Field, and everything else ceases to exist. This cycle of events then starts all over again in exactly the same way, only slightly different.

Now consider your own conscious awareness. Your consciousness is actually the consciousness of this single quanta, and so is mine. So I am you, and you are me, and we are everyone else, all at the same time. Mind boggling isn't it? The reason why we can usually only remember our own selves is so that the apparent order of the Universe can remain intact and chaos can be kept at bay. At least until you really need it. More on this, elsewhere.

And now the bit at the end....

So there you have it. A rather simple, yet elegant explanation for the existence of an inexplicable Universe.

Please feel free to spit out any or all of this delicacy if it seems unpalatable to you but I must ask you not to reproduce any of the information without my permission.

To do so would incur the wrath of the incomprehensible quantum copyright laws, resulting in people laughing at you for no apparent reason and, more importantly, in me calling you a dirty rotten thief.

Nuf said.