Listening skills:
1. The Disarming Technique: You find some truth in what the other person is saying, even if it seems totally unreasonable or unfair.
2. Empathy: You put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to see the world through his or her eyes.
Though empathy: You paraphrase the other person's words
Feeling empathy: You acknowledge how he or she is probably feeling
3. Inquiry: You ask gentle, probing questions to learn more what the other person is thinking and feeling
Self-Expression Skills:
4. "I Feel" Statements: You use "I Feel" statements, such as "I feel upset", rather than "you" statements, such as "You're wrong!" or "You're make me furious!". Be sure to actually express a feeling and not a thought.
5. Stroking: You find something genuinely positive to say to the other person, even in the heat of a battle. You convey an attitude of respect even though you may feel very angry with the other person.