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INTERNET: The NET that will INTER you
by Gloria Merle Huffman
10/2/2012
(255 words)
Log off! Now!!!
You can be classified as mentally ill for doing online research that takes longer than the permitted amount of time. This will be decided by authorities who have the authority to tell you how many hours to sleep, eat, work, do house chores, go to meetings, be with friends, and be online. You must never be lopsided. Each day must apportion its hours in the pre-formatted Life Plan pie chart that will be prescribed for you by your personal physician, religious leader, counselor, or any other approved authority who is not you.
How can a predictable result of the invention of hyperlinking be considered *your* problem? Didn't they know this would happen when they threw pages at you that had fish hooks all over them, each leading to bigger and better ponds elsewhere? If your brain wasn't already splintered and randomized before hyperlinking, hopping from one topic to the other (like an extemporaneous sermon) and never going back to your original point, it is now.
The internet is a gotcha that traps you in its NET, after which the authorities will INTER you -- bury you -- with a diagnosis for the condition created not by you but by the internet itself and the brightly lit screen by which it assaults your pineal gland and hyperstimulates your brain.
DSM - Internet Use Disorder
"Are you an internet addict? Psychologists are working to find out how much online time is too much"
Compare to:
DSM - Pathological Gambling
Problem Gambling (Wikipedia)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Problem_gambling
© 2012 Gloria Merle Huffman
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