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Post date: Apr 28, 2014 9:38:19 AM

‘If you have God on your side, everything becomes clear.’

Ayrton Senna

It was 20 years ago that my world was turned upside down with the death of a racing driver who was my personal hero and a role model for determination, perseverance and unwavering focus.

Just four days after my joy and exhilaration at taking part in South Africa’s first democratic elections that enshrined Nelson Mandela’s place in history, another event on the other side of the world precipitated heartbreak and grief on a global scale. I too was devastated!

Millions of television viewers were witness to the final countdown of Ayrton Senna’s life as the steering on his grand prix car failed in mid-corner at 307km/h, allowing him a scant two seconds to brake before slamming into a concrete wall at around 233 km/h. The impact was massive and a suspension rod speared the Brazilian hero’s helmet.

As the world watched in shocked disbelief he was lifted from the wreckage, his helmet removed and an airway inserted into his body by the medical team led by his friend Professor Sid Watkins, an English neurosurgeon many years his senior.

“He sighed and his body relaxed, and that was the moment - and I’m not religious - when I thought his spirit had departed.”

Afterwards the doctor, who campaigned vigorously for improved safety, spoke of the deepest personal relationship he had enjoyed with any driver, noting that Senna “had that wonderful humility that is not common with racing drivers.” Invariably his face would light up in a warm smile when he encountered his friend at the racetrack.

Senna was just 34 but had already emerged as a triple world champion and won more races than any other Formula One driver, his genius shining brightest in adversity and in dangerously wet conditions. He also restored a measure of pride to Brazil, inspiring his compatriots at a time when the country was mired in desperate poverty, social unrest and a sense of hopelessness. Suddenly they had something positive to believe in.

I’d met Senna only on brief occasions but was captivated and wrote: “I was awed not only by his devastating speed and supreme confidence, but his deep faith in God and single-minded commitment to being the best he could be.

“I believe that with that passion, uncompromising focus and sense of purpose we will always win at whatever we set our sights on.”

A highlight was watching him win at Monaco where he had had one of his most profound spiritual experiences, lapping ever faster and afterwards describing a mystical experience he likened to driving down a tunnel while being acutely aware of being one with the Divine. His speed had defied belief, and also frightened him.

Always analytical, he noted: “And suddenly I realised that I was no longer driving the car consciously. I was driving it by a kind of instinct, only I was in a different dimension.”

Rivals and especially his nemesis, Frenchman Alain Prost, expressed alarm at contesting corners with a competitor who believed that God shared the cockpit with him.

“Ayrton has a small problem because he thinks he can’t kill himself,” Prost declared scornfully.

That wasn’t true, Senna insisted. “Because I believe in God, just because I have faith in God, it doesn’t mean I am immortal, it doesn’t mean I’m immune, as has been claimed. I’m as scared as anyone of getting hurt.”

He also observed: “That same moment when you are seen as the best, the fastest, and somebody that cannot be touched, you are enormously fragile.”

Despite that vulnerability, fear excited him and he worked hard to ensure that his learning curve never flattened out, always seeking ways to push the boundaries of his understanding. “With your mind power, your determination, your instinct ... you can fly very high.

“If a person has no dreams, they no longer have any reason to live. Dreaming is necessary, although in the dream, reality should be glimpsed. For me this is a principle of life.

“Champions are made from something they have deep inside them. A desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina. They have to be faster. They have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill.”

I was intrigued by how he used driving as a means for self-discovery and racing as a metaphor for life: "The harder I push, the more I find within myself,” he said. “I am always looking for the next step, a different world to go into, areas where I have not been before. It's lonely driving a Grand Prix car, but very absorbing. I have experienced new sensations, and I want more. That is my excitement, my motivation."

He recognised that the career of a driver is short, but hoped he had many years left to learn and grow as a man. “I believe that we start to see our true personalities when we go through the most difficult moments. This is when we get stronger.”

Often he spoke of the influence of the Divine in his life, and in an heroic drive in the rain from 16th place to first to claim his first world title victory, he said: “I started being grateful as I completed the last lap and I thanked God. I could feel his presence. I visualised, I saw God. It was a special moment in my life.”

Three years later, against all odds, with his gearbox jammed in sixth gear he won his home grand prix in Brazil for the first time, passing out after crossing the finish line, and being wracked in pain as he staggered to the podium and struggled to wave the national flag.

“God gave me this race,” he said, pointing upwards.

His sister Viviane recalled: “On that final morning, he woke and opened his Bible and read a text that he would receive the greatest gift of all, which was God himself.”

After the crash it was revealed that he had carried a furled Austrian flag in the car alongside him, intending to raise it on his victory lap to honour driver Roland Ratzenberger who had died the day before.

The government of Brazil declared three days of national mourning and an estimated three million of his compatriots lined the streets of Sao Paulo, 200,000 of them filing past his coffin in an outpouring of love, grief and gratitude.

Team boss Frank Williams said that as good a driver as Senna was, ultimately "he was an even greater man outside of the car than he was in it."