CV of Failures

CV of Failures Neil Shirtcliffe

As proposed in “Nature” by @MelanieIStefan a list of personal failures is a suggested way to help others to deal with setbacks.

Usually CVs are in reverse time order, as this is a reverse CV it is in chronological order. Taking a cue from Haushofer, J. I am starting at University although I failed a lot before that. In fact apparently I fail a lot when I look at this.

Universities I did not get into

Cambridge (S levels not high enough)

Durham (used to turn down Cambridge applicants offhand)

Internship I was turned down for

A company I applied for and arrived too late for the interview because I went to the wrong place first

ICI (I was too relaxed at interview after having a successful one just before)

PhDs I did not get offered

Physics at Imperial College (hard to change from chemistry to physics when there are more students than places)

Chemistry (not many quota places there either at the time)

Surface Chemistry at Imperial College I was never going to get this one.

Permanent Jobs I was not offered

Max Planck (contract ran out)

Nottingham Trent (not shortlisted several times)

Loughborough (interviewed, might have just missed this one, but there is no prize for second place at a job interview)

Many others I got turned down immediately for or never heard from.

Papers that were not accepted

Nature x3

Nature Materials x2

PNAS X2

My first paper was never accepted anywhere as it received terrible reviews and I gave up

Nearly every paper I have written came with medium changes.

Funding I did not get

Alexander von Humboldt (personal fellowship)

Marie Curie

Funding for starting equipment (clean room) application never left the university

Funding for internal Ph.Ds, have applied 5 times and not won once

Boeringer Studentship (for a student)

Beilstein Studentship (a different student)

Alexander von Humboldt (hosting a student this time)

Funding for personnel to get started research, won two awards at the same time, due to legal difficulties was not able to spend any of the money.

Ph.D. student from India (was told that this was all set up, but nothing ever happened)

German Measurement institute funding