Below is a transcript of the speech that Craig Ferguson, newly minted American citizen, gave at Faneuil Hall in Boston on Independence Day, July 4, 2008. This speech is available as one of the extras on Craig's stand-up DVD, released in 2009, called "A Wee Bit o' Revolution." You can purchase this DVD -- and I highly recommend it! -- at fine video stores everywhere, or at online dealers, such as Amazon.com. This transcript is as complete and correct as I could get it. If you have suggestions for changes/corrections, you can tweet me at the tweety name down at the bottom of the page.

Transcript

Thank you, Mister Mayor, for those very fine words. Thank you to the people of Boston for allowing this staggering honor to be here today. I'm really surprised to do it.

People have said to me “Why do you feel so at home in the city of Boston?” I said, “I look like every cop in this city!” Everybody... you know, last night, we were doing the rehearsal for the fireworks and there was an enormous downpour of rain, and they said “The audience is out there – they're staying. And we're gonna go ahead.” And I went, “All right!” I said, “It's a bunch of, you know, drunk Scottish American people who are kind of grumpy and damp – this is like a family reunion for me. I'm fine!”

But I am deeply honored to be up here tonight. Or this afternoon. Or this morning, even. I don't know what time it is – I stay up late. But I tivo myself. Enough about that...

It is a great honor to speak here. I think it speaks to the generous nature of the people of Boston, and the generous nature of Americans, that after being a citizen for six months -- or less -- that I would be asked to speak on this day, in such a prestigious and memorable place.

And today, of course, we celebrate freedom, which is a word which is overused a little bit sometimes, misused a lot, often even misunderstood. But to me, the word "America," and the word "freedom" mean the same thing.

I arrived here in 1995, a broken-down vaudevillian from the old country. A failure! I had failed in my own country. And when I arrived in America, here's what America asked of me: Nothin'. Not a damn thing. Beyond obeying the laws of the land -- you know, don't rob the banks, don't drive drunk, don't do all those things -- I was free. That meant I was free not only to think what I want, or believe in any God I saw fit to believe in. These were freedoms that were already familiar to me.

But there was a new and bigger freedom in America. There IS a new and bigger freedom in America. In America, we don't have kings, we don't have dukes, we don't have earls. In America, we believe all people are born equal. So the past, whatever that may be, does not have a stranglehold on the future. We observe and celebrate our traditions in this country -- we're doing it today! But our traditions are freedom of expression, freedom of belief. We remember our history. We celebrate it. But we are not slaves to it.

So when I came here to America, the country asked me for nothin'. I was free. Free of my own past. Free to succeed; free to fail. Free to be generous; free to be mean-spirited. Free to be happy; or free to be miserable. These were all my choices, and my right to choose them as an individual in America. America did not even ask me to be a citizen! As long as I paid my taxes, I could stay here, under any conditions they wanted. That was fine -- I could have my green card and stay. I CHOSE to be a citizen. I chose to apply for that one.

And America asks me now, what America asks of ALL our citizens. It asks of all of us this -- it asks us it today and every day in America: What are you made of? What are you? What are you, as an American? America only asks of us what we ask of ourselves. That is why -- and I really believe this -- that is why America is not only the greatest country on earth, but also the finest expression of hope for the human race. There is -- it is nothing less than that.

Sooner or later -- sooner or later, America always does the right thing. Whatever mistakes we make along the way, we, The People, always correct them. We, The People, the citizens of the United States of America, are its voice. We are its soul. We are its expression. Our leaders are but servants to our voice. They're put in positions of power by our democratic vote. Not by an accident of birth. If our leaders, these servants, don't behave as we would have them, we fire them. Plain and simple. THAT is our glorious revolution. And it continues to this day.

The freedom we celebrate today -- the realization of this dream -- it's been going on for thousands of years. This dream that people had of an America -- and we are blessed to live in this time -- and this society has been hard won. Millions of people have died for this. Thousands of Americans put their lives on the line, whenever they are asked, in our military, to protect our freedom.

So America asked nothin' of me, and gave me everything that I have. So here's what I give America today as a citizen: My gratitude. My heart-felt thanks. I think that's an appropriate reaction to a country that asks you only to be your best self. And may I suggest to you, my fellow Americans, that being your best self is an appropriate expression of gratitude for this wonderful country; and whatever your best self is, is your choice to decide, in this free country.

Like I said, the dream of America has been around for a long time. I'd like to read to you now from another Declaration of Independence, one that was written in 1320 for the OTHER greatest country in the world: The country of Scotland.

Scotland in 1320 was much like America in 1776: We'd had it up to *here* with the English. (In Scotland, it continues to this day.) This is from the Scottish Declaration of Independence. It was considered extremely controversial at that time, because it set the wishes of the people above the wishes of the king. This is from the Declaration of Arbroath, delivered in Arbroath Abbey, Scotland, on the 6th of April, 1320. I believe it also speaks to us today as Americans. I'll read from it.

[cell phone rings]

It also comes with its own music. I don't know how they managed in those days without their cell phones. I'm amazed they ever got anything done.

This, from the Declaration of Independence in Scotland:

For as long as but a hundred of us remain alive, never will we -- under any conditions -- be brought under English rule. It is not for glory, nor riches, nor honours that we are fighting, but for freedom. For that alone, which no honest man gives up but with life itself.

Happy 4th of July! God bless you! God bless America, everybody!

-- Craig Ferguson, Faneuil Hall, Boston, MA, July 4th, 2008