The Silent Knife Cuts Deep
By Jed Diamond (excerpt from The Warriors Journey Home)
I began to gather information for this chapter; I would regularly break into tears for no apparent reason. Gradually, the tears bean to form themselves into unspoken, long-hidden questions which bubbled to the surface. What is it like for an infant boy-a boy born perfect, whole and complete-to have part of his body removed? What is the effect of having a large person, most often man, spread the baby's little legs and cut away the end of his penis? Could the trauma of this event have anything to do with men's later feelings of shame about their bodies, their concern about the size of their penis, their anguish over sexual performance, their frozen feelings, or the male ability-which is really a liability-to ignore pain?
These questions are unavoidably personal. How had circumcision affected me? Was my own sexual confusion and anger related to this event? What had I really done to my son when I had him circumcised with so little inquiry? Would I be stirring up old wounds if I looked more deeply? Would people ridicule me if I talked and wrote about circumcision as an important men's issue?
Despite my fears, I decided to move ahead. Surely, I thought, with all the focus on men these days, there must be a lot of discussion on circumcision in the literature on men. Just because I had avoided this issue, surely others must be talking about it. As a writer, I have accumulated a fairly good-sized collection of books on men. I was sure I would find a lot of information right here.
Out of the 58 books I had on my shelf which were specifically focused on men, only 8 mentioned circumcision at all. Of those, 5 of the references were so brief that I had trouble finding them when I looked up the page number. In only 3 of the books was circumcision discussed in any depth, and from none of my books did I feel I had gotten a clear understanding of the effects of circumcision on men's psyches and men's lives.
In Search of the truth about circumcision.
What I learned in the months since I began asking questions has shocked and upset me. The foreskin, I learned, was not some useless appendage that could be discarded without harm. Actually, the foreskin provides protection for the glans, and is abundantly supplied with nerve endings. These afford unique sensual stimulation. During masturbation and intercourse, the foreskin stimulates the glans and acts as a natural gliding mechanism which provides a great deal of pleasure. Like the clitoris, the glans is naturally an internal organ and should be treated as such.
The reasons usually given for circumcising baby boys-the intact penis is difficult to keep clean; circumcision prevents future medical problems, such as urinary tract infections, venereal disease, penile and prostate cancer, and cervical cancer in partners, are based on faulty medical data.
Jews have traditionally circumcised their infant boys in fulfilment of a covenant with God. The original practice involved a symbolic removal of the tip of the foreskin. The more radical surgery practiced by modem Jews and the medical establishment, in which the entire foreskin is removed, is not in keeping with the original practice.
The surgery itself, far from being benign, causes extreme pain and trauma. It is not as risk-free as we have been told, and instances of mutilation and death have been reported. The United States is the only country in the world that still practices routine medical circumcision for infants. Three thousand three hundred boys each day-that's 1.2 million per year-undergo this so-called elective surgery that's done without the patient's permission. Though the rate of circumcision declined from a high of 85 percent in 1980, it has remained constant around 60 percent since 1988.
Some of you may feel that I'm devoting too much space to this topic. Before I learned the facts, I would have agreed with you. Consider the following:
- The facts about circumcision are still unknown to most people: it's only misinformation that allows the wide practice of this surgery to be continued.
- The effects of circumcision on the male infant are traumatic and long-lasting. Since the trauma occurs before language development, it is difficult for men to remember what happened, and hence difficult for them to heal their emotional scars.
- The act of circumcision itself is abusive, contributing to later problems with addiction and violence.
- Ending this practice is one of the most important things we can do to ensure that the next generation of boys has a chance to grow up healthy and free.
Words from those who were there.
Most of the men reading this book have been circumcised. Many of us had our sons circumcised when they were born. Learning the truth about circumcision is difficult. It's easy to feel angry, guilty, and shameful. Yet, I know that we each did the best we could, and our parents did the best they could, given the knowledge available at the time. Hearing from those who have had the courage to remember can help us get back in touch with the feelings we have so long suppressed. What we feel we can heal.
I began by asking my wife what she felt about circumcision. Her three sons from a previous marriage were all circumcised routinely as infants. I was surprised by the strength of her feelings.
“I thought it was done for health reasons. I knew it was done for boys, because I had two younger brothers and assumed they were circumcised to protect them, like getting an immunization shot. With Dane, my first-born, it wasn't until we left the hospital and I changed him at home that I saw what had been done. I had been given instructions in the hospital about keeping his penis clean, but I was shocked when I saw how red and swollen it was. Every time he peed, it seemed to irritate him. The wound would begin to heal then become irritated again and break open.
It didn't seem right. A baby should cry when he is hungry or cold, not because his penis
is hurt. With each child, I had more and more doubts, though the social pressure kept me agreeing. All the many guilts I have felt about not being a good enough mother pale in comparison to the guilt I feel for not being strong enough to do my own investigating. If I had, my boys would still be whole and complete. Any discomfort they might feel in the locker room because they look different is nothing compared to what I let them go through as babies.”
By the time she finished talking, we were both crying. The tears continue to flow as my body, if not my mind, remembers what was done to me as an infant. Listen to the experiences of others.
“Unfortunately, I'm another son of another new mother who fell into the automatic circumcision trap. It makes me wonder where the hell my father was, or if he ever knew what was going on. I want it back!
“They strapped him down, which we hated. We massaged his head, stroked him, and talked to him the whole time. My husband said it was the most awful thing he'd ever seen or done. I stood outside the door while they were doing it to him and listened to him scream and cry. That's the first time I really began to wonder what the hell I had let them do to my baby! Since then I have asked myself that a million times.”
“I am a 17-year-old male who is circumcised. I got to thinking, what am I missing? Most likely, I'll never know. It makes me sad because I'm not whole, as I was intended to be. I try not to be bitter about it. I try not to blame my parents, but who can I blame? I had no say in the matter, and after all, it is my penis. It's a part of me that I'll never know.”
“I'm a victim of infant circumcision, and even though I'm 55 years old, I'm forcefully and painfully reminded of this atrocity, perpetrated upon me deliberately by my mother, who ordered it done, every time I take a shower, dress and undress, look at myself in a full-length mirror, or masturbate. And my studies indicate this atrocity even takes all the fun out of the last item above. I am still dealing with deep anger and rage over this.”
“I was deprived of my foreskin when I was 26. I had ample experience in the sexual area, and I was quite happy-delirious, in fact-with what pleasure I could experience, beginning with foreplay and continuing, as an intact male. After my circumcision, that pleasure was utterly gone.
Let me put it this way. On a scale of 10, the uncircumcised penis experiences pleasure that is at least 11 or 12; the circumcised penis is lucky to get to 3. Really-and I mean this in all seriousness-if American men who were circumcised at birth could know the deprivation of pleasure that they would experience, they would storm the hospitals and not permit their sons to undergo this unnecessary loss. But how can they know this? You have to be circumcised as an adult, as I was, to realize what a terrible loss of pleasure results from this cruel operation.”
Marilyn Milos is the mother of three circumcised boys. She was a student nurse in 1979 the day she first saw the operation performed. "It was a day that changed the course of my life," she says now.
“We students filed in the newborn nursery to find a baby strapped spread-eagle to a plastic board on a counter top across the room. He was struggling against his restraints-tugging, whimpering, and then crying helplessly. No one was tending the infant, but when I asked my instructor if I could comfort him, she said, "Wait til the doctor gets here." I wondered how a teacher of the healing arts could watch someone suffer arid not offer assistance. I wondered about the doctor's power which could intimidate others from following protective instincts. When he did arrive, I immediately asked the doctor if I could help the baby. He told me to put my finger into the baby's mouth; I did, and the baby sucked. I stroked his little head and spoke softly to him. He began to relax, and was momentarily quiet.
The silence was soon broken by a piercing scream-the baby's reaction to having his foreskin pinched and crushed as the doctor attached the clamp to his penis. The shriek intensified when the doctor inserted an instrument between the foreskin and the glans (head of the penis), tearing the two structures apart. (They are normally attached to each other during infancy so the foreskin can protect the sensitive glans from urine and faeces.) The baby started shaking his head back and forth-the only part of his body free to move-as the doctor used another clamp to crush the foreskin length-wise, where he then cut. This made the opening of the foreskin large enough to insert a circumcision instrument, the device used to protect the glans from being severed during the surgery.
The baby began to gasp and choke, breathless from his shrill, continuous screams. How could anyone say circumcision is painless when the suffering is so obvious? My bottom lip began to quiver, tears filled my eyes and spilled over, I found my own sobs difficult to contain. How much longer could this go on?
During the next stage of the surgery, the doctor crushed the foreskin against the circumcision instrument and then, finally, amputated it. The baby was limp, exhausted, spent. I had not been prepared; nothing could have prepared me, for this experience. To see a part of this baby's penis being cut off-without an anaesthetic-was devastating. But even more shocking was the doctor's comment, barely audible several octaves below the piercing screams of the baby: "There's no medical reason for doing this." I couldn't believe my ears, my knees became weak, and I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn't believe that medical professionals, dedicated to helping and healing, could inflict such unnecessary pain and anguish on innocent babies.”
Since that day, Marilyn has dedicated herself to providing information to parents and medical professionals so they can have all the facts available before they decide whether circumcision should be' performed. She is the Director of the National Organisation of Circumcision Information Resource Centres. Among their various activities, they have put together two international conferences on circumcision.
What the health professionals say now.
The most authoritative book on the subject, Say No to Circumcision! 40 compelling reasons why you should respect his birthright and keep your son whole, was written by Thomas J. Ritter, M.D., in 1992. "I am a general surgeon," he writes. "The prime dictum in medicine is 'Thou shalt do no harm.' The intent of this book is to explode the myth that routine newborn circumcision does no harm." After years of having gathered information, he draws the following conclusion:
“The operation of routine, infant circumcision of males involves a paradox of absurdities completely at variance with sound medical-surgical-legal practice; a normal structure is operated upon; no anaesthesia is used; the patient does not give his consent; he is forcibly restrained while a normal segment of his body is removed; the parental consent is of quasi-legality since the part removed is a healthy, non-diseased appendage; there are no legitimate surgical-medical indications for the operation; the patient and the part operated upon are subject to a host of possible complications, including death; the genitalia are now irrevocably diminished in appearance, function and sensitivity.”
Dr. Ritter is not alone in his opinion. Here are the words of a few experts who are calling for an end to the cruelty we are inflicting on our baby boys,
My own preference, if I had the good fortune to have another son, would be to leave his little penis alone.” -Benjamin Spock, M.D., author, Baby and Child Care
“Circumcision is a very cruel, very painful practice with no benefit whatsoever.
-Ashley Montagu, Ph.D., anthropologist, author of The Concept of the Primitive
“In addition to the obvious discomfort involved, there is now serious concern this routine procedure may actually deprive adult men of a vital part of their sexual sensitivity.”-Dean Edell, M.D., National radio and television personality.
“All of the Western world raises its children uncircumcised and it seems logical that, with the extent of health knowledge in those countries, such a practice must be safe.”-CO Everett Koop, M.D., former U.S. Surgeon General.
“In this case, the old dictum that "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" seems to make good sense. Minor surgery is one that is performed on someone else. Using the surgical treatment of circumcision to prevent phimosis is a little like preventing headaches by decapitation. It works but it is hardly a prudent form of treatment.” -Eugene Robin, M.D., Stanford University Medical School.
“Even if you found that there were absolutely no harmful psychological effects, it would still not justify doing an unnecessary procedure. You just should not be cruel to babies.”-Paul Heiss, M.D., University of Southern California Medical School.
“No one seriously advocates removing the breasts of female infants to prevent the more common malignancy of breast cancer. Circumcision must be recognized as an equally serious mutilation of men with equally insubstantial justification for continuing the practice.”-James Snyder, M.D., past president, Virginia Urologic Society.
“We cannot but wonder why such a torture has been inflicted on the child. How could a being who has been aggressed in this way, while totally helpless, develop into a relaxed, loving, trusting person? Indeed, he will never to able to trust anyone in life, he will always be on the defensive, unable to open up to others and to life.”-Dr. Frederick Leboler, author Birth Without Violence.
There is a relationship between the later experiences men have with shame-I'm too short, too fat, too tall, too hairy, not hairy enough, not a real man-and the first experience that gave us the message that our penis was wrong.
Stage 5 recovery: healing men's shame.
To accomplish the task of healing our body and soul, we must work with the following issues:
. Recognize the hidden purpose in circumcision and other forms of male shaming.
. Learn to accept and love our bodies.
. Begin moving toward a healthy, shame-free diet.
. Discover how to earn a shame-free living.
Recognise the hidden purpose in circumcision and other forms of male shaming.
Male genital mutilation is the first way in which men are shamed. It is also the most damaging, and lays the foundation for later assaults on our body and soul. In order to heal, we must understand why we continue to condone such behaviour in the United States.
"Circumcision," says Dr. Nicholas Cunningham of the Departments of Paediatrics and Public Health at the Columbia College of Physicians and Surgeons, "is probably an idea whose time has gone." Yet the practice continues, and the majority of baby boys in America are still subjected to this cruel and unusual punishment. We must ask why.
"Male babies need to be circumcised" is a mythic statement, not a statement of fact. Mythic statements are not just untrue and superstitious, but connect with our deepest desires and fears. Social Psychologist Elizabeth Janeway says that it is characteristic of mythic statements generally to be prescriptions more than descriptions reflecting reality. "For it is the nature of myth," she asserts, "to be both true and false, false in fact, but true to human yearnings and human fears and thus, at all times, a powerful shaping force.”
To change behaviour based on social myth, we need to uncover the roots and understand the real reasons why a given behaviour is valued in a culture. This is explored in greater detail below.
The tame-and-shame syndrome: hidden reasons for cutting boy's genitals.
We can get clues about the hidden agenda supporting circumcision if we understand why the practice began to spread in the U.S. in the late 1800s. Circumcision gained importance only after the medical profession, playing upon prevailing sexual anxieties, urged it as a "cure" for a long list of childhood diseases and disorders, including polio, tuberculosis, bedwetting, and a new syndrome which appeared widely in the medical literature of the time, "masturbatory insanity." Circumcision was then advocated along with a host of exceedingly harsh, pain-inducing devices and practices designed to thwart any vestige of genital pleasure in children, and to ensure that they remained under parental control.
I found the religious roots and reasoning for circumcision by looking to my Jewish heritage. The thirteenth-century Rabbi Moses Maimonides was more honest than almost anyone since in his reasons for supporting circumcision:
“The bodily injury caused to that organ is exactly that which is desired, it does not interrupt any vital function, nor does it destroy the power of regeneration. Circumcision simply counteracts excessive lust; for there is no doubt that circumcision weakens the power of sexual excitement, and sometimes lessens the natural enjoyment.”
We need to recognise that decreasing sexual pleasure and increasing sexual pain has a very useful purpose in a dominator culture. It produces men who are numb, cut off from their feelings, with a great deal of repressed rage. The real purpose of circumcising baby boys is to begin a process of taking the "wild" out of them.
This has been the goal of all the dominator cultures that have arisen over the last 10,000 years. As we have tried to wipe out the indigenous wild cultures of the world, kill the wild animals, and destroy the naturally occurring plant life, so too have we tried to tame men's "wild sexuality." What better way to destroy the hunter-warrior in us all than to attack the basis of our manhood, our genitals? What better way to make us docile enough to be willing to go off to desert wars, or fight in the jungles of Wall Street to keep the over-consumptive, addictive, American dream alive?
Shame of all kinds serves the same purpose. If men can be convinced that they are inherently bad, that there is something wrong with us at our core, then we are more easily controlled.
The final step in the shaming process calls for us to forget the source of our shame. The first step in healing is to remember what was done to us, feel the feelings we have so long repressed, and allow ourselves to grieve for what we have lost.
~*~