C 2002 “Yes Lord” Ministries
"Now Concerning Marriage ..."
Hi again and welcome back to our study of 1 Corinthians. As you know, we are studying a letter that Paul wrote to the young Church in Corinth, Greece. This was the church that he had founded, while on his second missionary journey, approximately 3 years prior to the writing of this first letter letter to them. He had stayed with them for about 18 months at the time of that visit to Corinth. During that visit he told the people of Corinth about Jesus Christ and the gospel. As a result many became believers (Christians). Then, that small group of believers, under the direction of Paul, began the Church which continued to grow even after he left them to continue his journey and to proclaim the gospel in other areas.
In the first 6 Chapters of this letter, which was part 1, Paul, as you recall, was writing them in response to reports which had come to him telling of divisions and problems which had developed in the Church and which needed to be addressed, reproved, and corrected. We have looked at several of those problems in some detail in the previous lessons.
In this second part of Paul's letter, Chapters 7-16, we have come to the "Now concernings ..." of the letter. In this part, Paul is going to give specific answers to several questions which the people of the church had apparently written to him for advice. You have previously discovered what the 5 main topics of these questions were, but just by way of review and to put us into perspective for this part of our study, let's refresh our memories. You will recall that in lesson 2, we listed the "Now concernings..." in chapters 7-16. Either refer back to that lesson or look anew at the text of your Bible and note the 5 topics (subjects) that Paul will answer for them in this second part of his letter to them. As you do this, as before, list the topics in the space below:
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The "Now Concernings..." in chapters 7-16
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12:1
15:1
16:1
Ok, I see you have correctly refreshed your memory about the 5 main topics we will be studying next in this Bible Study. In Chapter 7, Paul is going to answer some of their specific questions about Marriage. In Chapter 8 he will address the problem of food sacrificed to idols. In chapters 12-14 he will teach them about some of the Spiritual Gifts. In Chapter 15 he will explain more about the Gospel and in Chapter 16 he will discuss the collection (offering) for God's people.
All of these are important topics and each could be an entire Bible Study in itself. However, in this study, since we don't have time to go deeply into these topics, we will give them an overview. Then, perhaps sometime in the future we can go into some of these topics in more detail. Or, on your own or with your Bible Study classes or groups, you can dig deeper based on the foundation that Paul gives in this letter
Anyway, with that said, in this lesson, Paul answers some of their specific questions about the very important topic of MARRIAGE.
And, as always, as we begin our study, we need to begin with an assignment.
So, your assignment now is to read Chapter 7 (printed here for you) and, as you read, mark the following words: (You can use any colors, symbols, or marks that you prefer.) I would suggest that you read this passage THREE times!!!
The first time, mark the words: marry (marriage, married, marries, bound), wife, husband, and words used in place of these words. The second time, mark the words: divorce (separate), and die (dies) and words used in place of these words. The third time, mark the words: believer, (believing, belong to the Lord), and unbeliever (unbelieving, not a believer) and words used in place of these words.
Ok, that is your assignment, and here is Chapter 7
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1 Corinthians 7
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1. Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.
2. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6. I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7. I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
8. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.
9. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
10. To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord):
A wife must not separate from her husband.
11. But if she does,
she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband.
And a husband must not divorce his wife.
12. To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord):
If any brother (Christian, believer) has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
17. Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.
18. Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. 19. Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God's commands is what counts.
20. Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him.
21. Were you a slave when you were called? Don't let it trouble you--although if you can gain your freedom, do so. 22. For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord's freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ's slave. 23. You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. 24. Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to.
25. Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. 26. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are.
27. Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. 28. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. 29. What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; 30. those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31. those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.
32. I would like you to be free from concern.
An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs--how he can please the Lord.
33. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world--how he can please his wife-- 34. and his interests are divided.
An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.
But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world--how she can please her husband.
35. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
36. If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37. But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin--this man also does the right thing. 38. So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better.
39. A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives.
But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.
40. In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is--and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.
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Wow ! Pretty intense information. And I am sure that your mind is buzzing with thoughts and questions. So, let's think about some of these many things that Paul has said. And, as we do that, let's remember to whom Paul was writing and the circumstances of these people. Think back now about all you have read in these verses and also about what you have learned about the city of Corinth and the culture and way of life there.
How large was this city? _______________
What kind of city was it? ___________________
Were there many temples and religions in Corinth? _____________
What did most of these "religions" teach in the way of lifestyles and actions?
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Was there a lot of sexual immorality in the city and among its citizens? ___________
How would you describe the culture and lifestyle in Corinth?
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Were there any slaves in this church? _________
If so, then how would this explain what Paul was telling them in verses 20-24 ?
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Was there a Jewish synagogue in Corinth? _________
Do you think there were Jews in Corinth who had become believers and who were members of this Church? ________
If so, would this explain what Paul was telling them in verses 18-19? __________
How?
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What was the longest time that even the "oldest" members of this Church had been Christians? _______ years.
If the "oldest" Christians in Corinth had been believers (Christians) for only 3 years or less, do you think that it is possible that there were a lot of people in this church who were married to unbelievers? _____________
Explain your answer. i.e.. How did that happen?
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Does this fact that there were many marriages in the church that were "mixed" (unequally yoked), in that one spouse was a believer and the other was not, explain what Paul was talking about in verses 12-16? __________
(How? i.e.. again, briefly explain your answer).
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Wow! Great thinking! And you are doing a wonderful job of understanding this Chapter. You have correctly remembered that Corinth was a city of commerce containing over a half million inhabitants (actually 650,000), of which approximately two thirds were slaves. Therefore the Church in Corinth surely had many members who were slaves. And this helps to explain the verses (such as 20-24) where Paul is talking to them about not being concerned about the fact that they are not "free" in the earthly sense because, in actuality, they are "free in Christ" even though they may be slaves on earth. But, even if they were "free" here on earth (as some of the members of the Church were), they still were to realize that all, whether freed man or slave man, have been bought by Christ (by His Blood) and, therefore, are all slaves to Christ.
And, similarly, verses 18-19, speaking of circumcision, assures us that there were some converted Jews in this largely gentile city and church. And, yes, there was a Jewish synagogue in the city. So it is very likely that some of the converted ("completed") Jews who were now Believers (Christians) were (as "baby Christians") insisting that the non-Jews (the gentiles, greeks) become circumcised when they became Christians. Paul is addressing this in these verses and, as with the situation re. the slaves, is explaining to them that it is not the outward appearance or situation that is important, but, rather, it is their personal individual relationship with and to God that is important.
You have also correctly remembered that this was a bustling commercial city, a crossroads of commerce and, therefore, many people of many beliefs, religions, and cultures passed through it daily. There were innumerable pagan temples and many immoral practices involving not only the "religions" but also present in the lifestyles of the vast majority of the people of this city. As a result of this culture and the recent establishment of this Church, it understandable that there were many marriages in the Church at Corinth in which only one spouse was a Believer (Christian).
So, in those days of the early church, there were many instances of believers married to unbelievers. And we can understand why, since, likely, most of these marriages were of couples who had been married for years and years and both, at the time of their marriage, were unbelievers. Indeed, they had likely never even heard about Jesus until 3 years ago or less. And then, gasp, one of them became a believer! And then the problems really began! The unbeliever just couldn't understand the actions of the believing spouse and things were not like they used to be in their relationship. The believer was "different" now and didn't want to do things they did before or go places they used to go before or didn't like certain music or plays or entertainment or whatever that used to interest them. And they wanted to "go to Church" all the time. And they wanted to "pal around" with other believers instead of the non believing friends with whom they used to spend so much time. You can picture the scene.
And, there were likely arguments, disagreements, and "incompatibility" situations now going on in the homes of these mixed marriages. So you can readily understand why they had apparently asked Paul "what they should do"? "Should they divorce their unbelieving spouses"? This was a serious concern to them. And Paul had some definite answers for them in this situation.
In the space below, summarize in your own words what Paul told them (especially in verses 10-17) and why.
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Hmmmm. Interesting. Paul was NOT advocating that they divorce their spouses. But, he did say that IF the unbelieving spouse wanted to leave, that they should not hinder them.
But, IF that spouse left, did Paul tell them that it was OK to turn around, find someone else, and remarry? ________
Explain your answer and give some verses to support your conclusion.
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Hmmmm. Now that is very interesting. And verses 10-11, among others, are unequivocally clear about the situation. Furthermore, Paul tells them that if the unbelieving spouse wants to stay, great! And, he explains, that, by staying, perhaps one day the un-believer in the marriage will become a believer. And, in the meantime, the fact that there is a believer in the marriage has made the marriage and the children of that marriage be holy, sanctified, and "legitimate" in God's eyes.
But, what about marriage? And what about divorce? Is it God's idea for people to be divorced? Does God like divorce? Is it ok with Him for people to marry and divorce and remarry and divorce and remarry and....? And what about remarriage anyway? Is that something God approves of? Indeed, what is God's perfect plan for marriage? And, what about today? In many ways our culture (especially in America) has tragically become very "Corinth-like" and there are many people today in marriages with unbelievers and many Christians have divorced and remarried a different person, some several times!. What is God's desire about this? Does He want people to be married to un-believers? Does God approve of people getting divorces and remarrying other people? Well, to answer some of these questions, let's look at several of the many Scriptures which specifically address this very important matter of marriage and divorce.
ASSIGNMENT: As you read the following Scriptures, read them through as a group at least TWO times.
The first time, mark, with the same symbols and colors as you did before, the words marry (marriage, married, marries, bound), wife, husband, divorce (separate), die (dies), believer, (believing, belong to the Lord), unbeliever (unbelieving, not a believer) and words used in place of these words.
The second time you read this this group of Scriptures, highlight or underline any words or phrases that show God's perfect will and desire concerning marriage and divorce.
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OK, that is your assignment. And here are the scriptures:
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Genesis 2:20-24
20. (in the Garden of Eden) So the man (Adam) gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22. Then the LORD God made a woman (Eve) from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man. 23. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called `woman,' for she was taken out of man." 24. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Luke 16:18
18. (Jesus said) "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Matthew 19:3-9
3. Some Pharisees came to Him (Jesus) to test Him. They asked,
"Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
4."Haven't you read," He (Jesus) replied, "that at the beginning the Creator `made them male and female,' 5. and said, `For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? 6. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
7. "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
8. Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
Mark 10:2-12
2. Some Pharisees came and tested Him (Jesus) by asking,
"Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?"
3. "What did Moses command you?" He (Jesus) replied.
4. They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away."
5. "It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law," Jesus replied. 6. "But at the beginning of creation God `made them male and female.' 7. `For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8. and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. 9. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate (put asunder in KJV)."
10. When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this.
11. He answered,
"Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.
12. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery."
Matthew 5:31-32
31. "It has been said, `Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' 32. But I (Jesus) tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.
Luke 16:18
18. (Jesus said) "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery,
and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Malachi 2:13-16 a
13. Another thing you do: You flood the LORD's altar with tears. You weep and wail because He no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14. You ask, "Why?" It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. 15. Has not [the LORD] made them one? In flesh and spirit they are His. And why one? Because He was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. 16. "I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, ...
1 Corinthians 7:10-11
10. To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord):
A wife must not separate from her husband.
11. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband.
And a husband must not divorce his wife.
1 Corinthians 7:39
39. A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives.
But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.
Romans 7:1-3
1. Do you not know, brothers--for I (Paul) am speaking to men who know the law--that the law has authority over a man only as long as he lives?
2. For example,
by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive,
but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage.
3. So then,
if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress.
But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11
10. To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
2 Corinthians 6:14-17
14. Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15. What harmony is there between Christ and Belial ? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 16. What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people." 17. "Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you."
2 Timothy 5:3-16
3. Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. 4. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. 5. The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. 6. But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. 7. Give the people these instructions, too, so that no one may be open to blame. 8. If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 9. No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband, 10. and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the saints, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds. 11. As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. 12. Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge. 13. Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to. 14. So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. 15. Some have in fact already turned away to follow Satan. 16. If any woman who is a believer has widows in her family, she should help them and not let the church be burdened with them, so that the church can help those widows who are really in need.
Hebrews 13:4
4. Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure,
for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11
10. To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord):
A wife must not separate from her husband.
11. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband.
And a husband must not divorce his wife.
.Malachi 2:16a
16. "I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, ...
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WOW! It is obvious that the Bible is very clear and definite about the marriage covenant relationship.
But, one would never know that the Bible was so precise in its teaching concerning marriage and of God's attitude toward divorce if you listen to the many conflicting "views" currently put forth by the "experts" including "marriage counselors", "Christian" counselors", family members, and friends. In fact, listening to most of these folks is often so confusing and contradictory from what the Scriptures actually teach, that the correct understanding of marriage and divorce has, in many if not most cases, long since departed from God's original and eternal intentions and plans. And, sadly, this is not only true in today's culture, but was also the situation in the first Century (when the Pharisees were questioning Jesus and when the Corinthians were asking Paul if they should divorce their un-believing spouses) and even before then. Indeed, this misunderstanding has dated back to at least the time of Moses!
So, yes, there is and has been, since the time of Moses, a lot of "pontificating" on this subject of marriage and divorce by many "experts".
But, it doesn't really matter what those "experts" think, or what I think, or what you think, or what "counselors" think about marriage and divorce. The only ONE Whose thoughts are important is GOD, the One Who originated, ordained, and established marriage.
So, to clear up these confusing and often conflicting "views" of others and of the world, of culture, and of the experts, let's go back to the Bible, the Word of God, and let It tell us what God says on these very important subjects.
And, you have already read most of the most relevant Scriptures on these subject. Now, let's put together the pieces, so to speak, and see if we can determine what it is that God is teaching about marriage and divorce. And, to do that, it is, of course, time for another assignment. And, that is to think about what you have read and marked and answer the following questions:
When and where was the first marriage? (Gen 2):
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Who were the first husband and wife? __________ and ___________
How is the first marriage relationship described? (Gen 2:24) (write that verse in the space below:)
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By the way, and as an aside, for those of you who think that Genesis and the Creation story and Adam and Eve are myths and not real events and are only symbolic and allegorical, I hate to burst your bubble, but that view is incorrect. There is much evidence that evolution is wrong and Creationism is the correct view. We do not have time to go into that now, but there are many books, videos, and web sites which can give you more details. Some, but not all, of these resources and further information confirming the validity and correctness of the Book of Genesis and its correct description of how the world was created and all things began, can be found at:
http://www.drdino.com
http://www.icr.com
http://www.answersingenesis.com
But, to continue, yes, in Genesis 2:24 God tells us that "For this reason (marriage) a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Is marriage considered by God to be a COVENANT relationship or is it just a "contract" which can be canceled or voided when "things go wrong" or when one wants "out"? (hint read Malachi 2:14) ____________
Yes, marriage was established by God to be a covenant relationship, a "till death do you part" relationship. And this was and still is God's plan concerning marriage. God does not change. In Hebrews we are told, He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. Therefore, God's plans concerning marriage also do not change. Indeed, Jesus, speaking about marriage, approximately 4000 years after the first marriage reaffirmed its covenant essentials when He clearly said in Luke 16:18 "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery."
But, something did change, at least the Pharisees thought so. You read about that in the encounters of Jesus with the Pharisees. Let's look at them again.
In Matthew 19:3, what was the specific question that the Pharisees asked Jesus? (write it here in the space provided)
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And In Mark 10:2, what was the specific question that the Pharisees asked Jesus? (write it in the space provided)
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Are these questions identical? Or is there a difference between them? _________________
What is the difference between these two questions?
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Did Jesus answer these slightly different questions in the exact same way? _________
Wow!. Good thinking! And you are correct, Jesus' answer was in one way the same and in another way was different for these two questions because the Pharisees had asked two different questions.
The way the answer was the same for both questions had to do with their hearts. What did Jesus say about that? (Hint, before you answer this, read again Matthew 19: 8 and Mark 10: 5). It was because their hearts were ____________.
Explain in your own words what it means to have a "hard heart"?
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Now, let's look at Jesus' slightly different response to these 2 questions. First, what did Jesus say in response to the more specific question in Matthew 19:3 where the Pharisees asked "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?" What was Jesus' reply to this question? (Write it word for word in the space below):
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And how did Jesus respond to the different question asked in Mark 10:2 which was less complicated and was simply:: "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" What was Jesus' reply to this question? (Write it word for word in the space below):
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What is the difference in these two answers?
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When Jesus said it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife for the REASON of marital unfaithfulness, did He also say it was OK to then turn around and marry again? Or was he just saying that this is the ONLY reason that one can divorce? (write your answer in the space below and give the reason for your answer. Hint, read the answer to the question in Mark 10:2 before you answer this plus the "commentary" on His answer that Jesus gave to His disciples, in Mark 10:11-12, a short time later when they were asking Him further about this)
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Hmmm. So, based on what you have read and discovered concerning Jesus' responses to the Pharisees, what is God's view concerning marriage and divorce?
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Indeed, God summarizes His thoughts on divorce in Malachi 2:16a. Write that verse here:
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But, in Matthew 5:31-32 we read: "It has been said, `Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.' But I (Jesus) tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. To some of the "experts" today, they consider this verse to be their "escape clause", their "license to remarry" after they have been divorced. But is that what is being taught in this verse? Let's think about it.
First let's look at what Jesus said about the wife (or spouse's unfaithfulness in marriage): But I (Jesus) tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.
If a person's wife had been "maritally unfaithful" while in the marriage, is she automatically an adulteress? __________
Why?
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Do these verses (5:31-32), say that "unfaithfulness" is "allowable grounds" for divorce? ____________
Do these verses (Matthew 5:31-32) say you can remarry? __________
Do these verses imply you can remarry? ___________
Do these verses just simply state the fact that marital unfaithfulness is the only grounds for divorce? _____
So, in summary, do these verses (Matt. 5:31-32) say that if a person has grounds for divorce that this is also "grounds to remarry"? Or is that just reading something into the verse that is not there but that people wish were there? (Think about this and then write your answer and your reasons, supported with scripture, in the space provided below.)
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If a person's wife had not been "maritally unfaithful" while in the marriage, is she an adulteress? ________
Why?
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Would the husband have grounds for divorce if the wife had not been "maritally unfaithful"? _________
If the wife had not been unfaithful and the husband divorced her anyway, what does Jesus say that causes her to become?
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Why does that cause her to become an adulteress? (i.e. explain why the divorcing of a faithful wife causes her to become an adulteress. This is a very important "thought question so take some time and think about this. take your time and think. Don't just parrot something you have "heard" by an "expert" but think about this)
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Now let's look at the second part of that verse, in which Jesus is answering the more complicated question by the Pharisees. The second part reads ...and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.
In the space below, explain how the marrying of the divorced woman causes the one who marries her to also commit adultery. (This is another thought question, so, again, take your time and think. And, as before, don't just parrot something back that you have "heard" by an "expert" but think about what Jesus is teaching here.)
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Now let's think again of the "simpler" question about divorce which was asked by the Pharisees. They asked: "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" Now this is a considerably different question than: "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?" which is the question that brought up the subject of marital unfaithfulness.
Indeed, in that "marital unfaithfulness" question, Jesus told them the ONLY reason that there could be a divorce (though He would prefer, of course, that there be reconciliation even to that and for the marriage to continue, but, yes, that would be a grounds for divorce.) But Jesus did NOT go on to add that this was "grounds for remarriage". He just simply answered their question and said there was a single grounds for divorce. Period. End of thought.
Then, in answering the simpler question of: "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?", Jesus' response clearly teaches what God's desire is concerning divorce and whether there should be remarriage after divorce. In the space below write what Jesus said in answering this question: (hint: see Mark 10:11-12)
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Do these words of the Lord God Jesus Christ, which you have just written, seem to be a "permission", a "license to remarry" after divorce? ________________
Explain your answer..
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We are clearly shown by these two questions and the different answers that that, yes, there is grounds for divorce and that grounds is __________________. But, marital unfaithfulness is not a "license to remarry", it is simply a grounds for divorce.
Then after the divorce, what is the one who was "allowed" to divorce because of the unfaithfulness of the other spouse" to do? (write your answer in the space below. Hint. see 1 Corinthians 7:10-11)
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Hmmmm. That is verrrrry interesting. And, remember, that passage was written to marriages which had all kinds of problems including the fact that one spouse was a believer and the other was not. So, it is clear that when a man and woman are married, God considers this to be a lifetime covenant relationship, whether they are "believers" or not. Of course God's command and desire is that no one be married unless they are BOTH believers. We know that based on 2 Corinthians 6:14. Re read that verse and write it here:
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So, we have seen that God's desire is that no one be married unless they are both believers (Christians). And, all marriages are Covenant relationships in God's eyes and should NOT be "separated" as was clearly stated in verse "Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate (put asunder in KJV)."
We have also seen that there is only ONE "grounds for remarriage" and that is (hint: read 1 Cor 7:39 and write it here)
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And, when she does remarry after her husband has died (or visa versa if it is the wife who died and the husband is now a widower), what is the restriction that God places on that remarriage? (hint see 1 Cor 7:39 again).
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Yes, you are absolutely correct. The husband (or the wife) must be a believer!
Well, we need to bring this lesson to a close as it has probably gone a lot longer than you wanted it to and it has probably caused you to have some deep thoughts and likely has shattered some long held "opinions".
And many of you are likely thinking, "Oh no, what now?" -- especially those of you who have divorced in the past and who have remarried . You are now aware that what you did was not God's perfect will! So what are you to do?
Well, just as you can not put toothpaste back into a tube and just as you can not unscramble an egg, your do have a problem. But, God is a God of love and forgiveness. So, the "thing to do" now is to confess your sin of divorce and remarriage. Tell God that you now understand His will in this matter and that you are sorry. Give Him your present marriage and let Him take it from this point on. True, some avenues of ministry are now closed to you but others are open. And, God can and will take this and make this into something that will be able to bring glory and honor to Him.
So, as we bring this lesson to a close, we all need to spend time with the Lord, discussing these things which we have read and studied in this lesson with Him.
Those of you who need to talk to Him about your divorce(s) and remarriage(s), do that. This is not the end of the world, God can bring beauty out of the ashes IF we humble ourselves before Him, confess our sin, seek His forgiveness, and acknowledge His Lordship from this point on in your life and current marriage..
Those of you who are widows or widowers, talk to Him about this and ask Him what He desires to do with your life from this point on. There is much that He can and will do with you in this situation.
Those of you who are "never marrieds", or who have been divorced and have not remarried, talk to Him about what He wants you to do. There are many avenues of ministry open to you and you have more freedom than most (especially the "never marrieds") since you are not encumbered with the cares of marriage and family (although, of course, some of you who have been divorced and not remarried may be still be taking care of children). Just as Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 (you can) be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs--how he can please the Lord. ... ... and An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.
Ok, while you are talking to the Lord about your situation, we will bring this lesson to a close and will continue in the next lesson. Take all the time you need. God is in no hurry and wants to spend time with you. He wants the best for you. Let Him guide you in this and in all matters.
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Scriptures marked NIV are taken from the NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION.
Copyright C 1973,1978,1984 International Bible Society.
Used by permission of Zondervan Publishers.
This material is Copyrighted,
but you may copy and freely distribute it,
as long as NO fee for profit is charged and it is NOT changed in any way.
This is for the Glory of God and NOT for the financial profit of man.
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