Scribes 2024

41 Years on Trail

2134 - Mon 24 Jun 2024 - Drumoak (? #ers) - Hares: Numbskull & The Dutchess  - Scribe: 

2136 - Mon 17 Jun 2024 - TBA (? #ers) - Hares: TBA  - Scribe: 

2135 - Mon 10 Jun 2024 - Countesswells (? #ers) - Hares: Prickly Bush  - Scribe: 

2134 - Mon 03 Jun 2024 - TBA (? #ers) - Hares: Twizzle  - Scribe: 

2133 - Mon 27 May 2024 - Peterculter (? #ers) - Hares: Scrungebucket & Coke  - Scribe: 

2132 - Mon 20 May 2024 - TBA (? #ers) - Hares: Skippy & Premature - Scribe: 

2131 - Mon 13 May 2024 - Netherton Business Center (? #ers) - Hares: Pink Panther & Bungee Finger - Scribe: 

2130 - Mon 06 May 2024 - Westburn Park (? #ers) - Hares: Ten Brulee - Scribe: 

2129 - Mon 29 Apr 2024 - Peterculter (36 #ers) - Hares: Mario's Chuff & Harlequine - Scribe: 4Fingers

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run 2129

Mon 29 Apr 2024

OnOn: Peterculter

Hares: Mario’s Chuff & Harlequine

Scribe: 4Fingers

 

Mario’s Chuff & Harlequine’s Tour of the lesser known back streets and cut throughs of Culter!

 

A pack of 36 (I am told) gathered in the rain outside St Peter (of “Peter”culter)’s Church & Heritage centre...all secretly hoping for short & sweet hash (like Sharnie & Little Shit’s two weeks earlier!). Or maybe that was just me?!

 

Shortly after gathering; a great cry of warmth came from the circle to welcome back Binliner arriving a little late by bike to the hash.

 

Panty Pockets then received a bright pink fleece to celebrate a brilliant 200 runs (well done!) and she set the colour scheme for the hash (for me at least) as the hares gave their instructions and let us know to look for pink & white chalk as well as the usual flour.


We set off down a hill and at the first check I caught Tryme Luvme stretching - a hash sin!! – although in this case it was well deserved after her cycling 90km up and down the horrible hills of Stonehaven at the weekend (awesome work Saff!). She’d even had enough puff left to shout hello to me as she whizzed past. Tryme Luvme told me a bit about her pending 225 mile cycle adventure across Scotland, with her partner Andy, in order to raise money for a worthy charity (See “River Garden” for more detail below).

 

Back to the hash; it was up, up and more up, through the streets, alleyways and woodlands of Culter. Each time I emerged from any woodlands Drillbit whizzed past cheerily on his bike! A few FRBs ignored a check and headed up an unnecessary hill; meanwhile, I followed Premature, which I thought was very clever until we ran past a pink chalk arrow and had to double back sometime later....

 

Hare; Mario’s Chuff confessed to me as I passed, that there is much more uphill to come, but the end is all downhill!  He would know as the hash went past his folks house, which explains how the hares managed to find uncharted hash trails; leaving old time hashers like Oneliner exclaiming today’s hash was “new territory”. Well done hares!

 

There was great joy at an early sweetie stop atop a pretty little glen at a bench dedicated to Mario’s Chuff’s late grandmother. Lovely little spot. The sugar seemed to go to everyone’s heads though and the runners quickly stopped paying attention to the flour and I was overtaken by the walkers! Threesome exclaiming! “how slow the runners were” (likely due to an abundance of backchecks).

 

To add to the pink theme the beautiful gardens of Culter were packed full of brightly coloured spring flowers and the fiery pink flowers of the Forest flame bushes in bloom.

More rain, more up and then a quick play stop for hashers in the park.   Whoops and hollers from Skippy as she squeezed her way through a small slide! This is where the runners and walkers were meant to split to ensure an extra 3K loops for the runners; but they clearly protested this due to the rain, and did not navigate as they should have, cutting 2K off their intended route!

 

Underlay decided to give blood once again on trail (this time through his hand and not via his nose) and there was lots of slippery mud to navigate past an abandoned house and garden to re-emerge on the North Deeside road just downhill from the BP petrol station. It was here I overtook a pink jacketed Sharnie, shortly thereafter to miss a turn (too busy photographing the Culter in bloom arrangement) and lead us both off trail further uphill. Fortunately I remembered that flour is my friend, and, after a little while without any, I turned back to see Threesome down the hill disappearing down a side road. From here, it was short distance past the Camphill school down to a beautiful beer check on the sandy banks of the Dee.

 

Not sure what everyone else was jabbering about, but some hashers had spotted an interesting bright yellow flowered, invasive plant species across the water and I took great joy in spending my beer check telling all who would listen about “American skunk cabbage” which I just recently learnt about!

 

Post beer check we followed a pretty riverside path called Lover’s Lane back to the On In. Being one of the earlier arriver’s (somehow!); Barbarella and I went to investigate the graveyard where we saw Bruce Almighty emerge from behind a tombstone (shortcut?). Waiting for the circle I had an interesting chat about Vimto with a very perky Drillbit; who had just discovered a new love for a passion fruit fizzy rubicon drink and was very chuffed. I then took the opportunity to ask a few runners for any gossip I had missed; I was told by Smurf that they were all going too fast for gossip (racists?!), so I gave up and rested my writing hand for the down downs...

 

 

THE END - 4Fingers

 

“River Garden” which offers a supportive residential community, for free, for people recovering from drug and alcohol addiction. Find out more about the charity here: River Garden | Charity helping recovery from alcohol and drug addiction, and here is also a link for you to donate to support her fundraising (she is sharing Andy’s page as BP have offered to double what he raises, so let’s help them both maximise on BP’s generosity!): Andrew Haddon is fundraising for Independence from Drugs and Alcohol Scotland (justgiving.com)

 

 


2128 - Mon 22 Apr 2024 - Tarland (48 #ers) - Hares: Glasgow & Sir Deadmund Hillary - Scribe: Barbarella

Aberdeen Hash House Harrier

Run No: 2128

Mon 22 April 2024

OnOn:Tarland

Hares: Glasgow & Sir Deadmund Hillary

Scribe: Barbarella

 

Most of the Hashers turned up early for this event set in Tarland which is quite a distance from Aberdeen (31miles). It was a beautiful night if not a little cold.

 

Ballerina moving about the carpark with his money box confusing us as we direct late comers to the wrong part of the carpark to pay their £3 run fees.

 

Barbarella was giving out sweeties in some vain attempt to become popular!

 

More people were arriving spilling out onto the road verge.

 

Gimp With A Limp was crying by a tree looked on by StonAa as Gimp With A Limp had dropped his new bike on a stone and scratched the chrome on his suspension. (In time the seal will be damaged hence the tears!)

 

7pm and the circle was called with Twizzle inviting in Gingervitis to be the RA, she started by saying this RA duty had been recent news to her and after an interruption by Twizzle exclaiming he had found a pen and paper for the scribe she said “who hasn’t done it for a while?” then without much more consideration she gave them to Barbarella, how she thought he hadn’t done it for a while shows how perceptive that lady is. Barbarella then gets a folded A4 sheet of paper and a pen that doesn’t write!

 

Gingivitis then goes on to announce this run as number 2129 “no that’s next week”.

 

Twizzle enters the circle with an award tucked under his arm and precedes to ask the question “Who’s award is this?

 

Lots of suggestions come forth then he gives out some more information “200 runs” a few more wrong guesses he tells us it’s Rats award a black zip-up fleece. Good choice of colour as it matched everything else he was wearing,

 

Rats walked into the circle with a broad smile on his face saying it had only taken him since the 11th June 1984.  (That’s 5 runs a year for the mathematically challenged.) Almost 40 years. You would expect “Next to the skin!” to be shouted at this point but not a sound. Why?

 

Returners are called in, “Happy Cuddi” “Vee” (short for Chavee) and “Lazy Bastard Son”. The prior two getting the long-distance award for flying in from Ecuador specially to join in with AH3.

 

Over to the Hares and Sir Deadmund Hillary precedes to say 6 miles without back checks.Two routes for the walkers and arrows pointing everyway, meanwhile his lovely assistant Glasgow sprinkled a dusting of flour in the formation of circles, back checks and arrows. Beer and sweeties were promised and with that holding a map in the air and uttering Nevile Chamberlains words “Peace in our time!” we were off into the woods.

 

Back check and the natural stupidity of hashers made the going slow for a start, some FRB’s had obviously been listening in the circle as the front runners stood in the check waiting for “On On”! to be called.

 

Out of the woods and across a road into an estate built back in the day when taxes weren't on everything, and the rich were rich and the poor were poor. A Tardis looking building was investigated by some of the hashers with two Harriett’s overheard saying “Macro Bert! wtf” what poor Nuggets would have to say about this we don’t know. Actually, it said, MacRobert, which was carved into the granite above the door.

 

Underlay’s nose was bleeding at this point, unsure who hit him he was washing his face in the burn.

 

We then followed well marked and beautifully kept tree lined paths a little wet in places, up to the “Sun Seat” a stone monument seat and the Platinum Wood planted for the Queen’s 70-year Jubilee. This prompted some conversation about Liz Truss and her misfortune while premier.

 

Some talk about how if you ever wanted to have a high-end meal; Dounside House would fit the bill. They grow their own vegetables in their walled garden run by the R

Next was an orchard with many varieties of apple tree all with their own sign denoting the type of tree?

More confusion at a farm with a seriously nice house beside it. Straight on was not the way. FireFlaps found the flour and as she ran down the road was first to the next check, she duly stood on the check arms stretched looking like the “Angel of the North”. Anyway, she then disappeared off down the road before “On On”! is called and forgetting to mark the check!

Next FireFlaps comes across a handsome chap in a field and decides to photograph him. He barks at her sending her into laughter. The black bull wasn’t scared of FireFlaps that was for sure and he had plenty of women in his field anyway.

A little detour into a marshy bog and some trees and we were back on a road down a lane across a drainage stream then onto a cut grass path through a gate across a main road and along to the ancient Standing Stone Circle with beer and sweetie stop.

 

Bruce Almighty, Lazy Bastard Son and Sir Deadmund Hillary guarding the goodies.

 

Some nice beers, many photos of the full Rose Moon and stone circle later. Off we went over the top of the mound then a few hundred metres later we were on the road again, right turn, petrol turned out to be Sir Deadmund Hillary with a few passengers!

 

We ran back onto a grass path and into Tarland where several were hopelessly lost and seeing a hasher climbing a wall decided that was the way, only to find the hasher had gone to relieve himself.

 

Back at the carpark and numbers looking diminished, some leaving early as young children needed their bed others missing in action.

 

Some talk about Toy Boy Tom’s funeral on Thursday 25th and road closures. He is sadly missed by all.

 

Circle is called and the Down Downs are awarded for:

 

Thanks to the Hares, Glasgow and Sir Deadmund Hillary.

 

Next week’s run 2129, Hares Harlequine and Mario’s Chuff, Howie Lane Carpark, Peterculter.

 

A little of the history of the MacRobert Trust and how the trust came about.........

 

The History of the MacRobert Family

There are few in the military or amongst those who remember the Second World War who don’t know the story of the MacRobert family.  Lady Rachel Workman MacRobert (1884 – 1954) and Sir Alexander MacRobert (1854 – 1922) had three sons, Alasdair, Roderic and Iain.

 

The eldest, Alasdair, who inherited the baronial title on his father’s death, was killed in a civil flying accident in 1938, aged just twenty-six. On his death, the baronetcy passed to his brother, Roderic, a pilot in the Royal Air Force. Roderic was lost in action just three years later on May 22nd, 1941, also at the age of twenty-six, while leading a flight of Hurricanes in a strafing attack on a German-held airfield in Iraq. The baronetcy now passed to the youngest son, Iain, who was by then a pilot officer in the RAF having joined straight from Cambridge University.

 

Less than six weeks after the death of his brother, Iain was reported missing when his Blenheim aircraft failed to return from a search and rescue mission which set out from RAF Thornaby in North Yorkshire. His body was never found. He was twenty-four years old.

 

One can only imagine how Lady MacRobert must have felt on hearing of the loss of her sons but her immediate response gives a flavour of her character. She made a donation of £25,000 to purchase a bomber for the RAF and asked that it be named “MacRobert’s Reply”. The chosen bomber was a Stirling of XV Squadron, which was handed over in October 1941 to its first captain, Flying Officer PJS Boggis, who captained it on twelve operational missions. This was the start of a tradition that the RAF has kept alive. A succession of RAF aircraft has since carried the name.

 

In 1942, Lady MacRobert donated a further £20,000 to purchase four Hurricane fighters, which were sent to RAF operations in the Middle East. Three were named after her sons and the fourth after her.

 

These acts of fortitude and determination cemented a charitable legacy that originated with her husband’s benevolence in India and still resonates today.

 

Between 1943 and 1950, Lady MacRobert established a series of trusts to reflect the interests of her late husband, who through hard work and study rose from humble origins to make his fortune in India, and of her American parents who were famous mountaineers, explorers and authors. In particular, Lady MacRobert wanted to provide the means and organisation to foster in young people the best traditional ideals and spirit, which she believed had prompted so many young people, including her own sons, to fight in the Second World War.

 

These ideals and this spirit still inform the work we do today and underpin the ethos of The Trust.

 

 


2127 - Mon 15 Apr 2024 - Clochandighter Woods (43 #ers) - Hares: Sharnie & Little Shit - Scribe: Threesome

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run # 2127

Clochandighter Woods or somewhere near Portlethen

Date: Monday 15th April 2024

Hares: Sharnie and Little Shit

Scribe: Threesome

 

The pack of many (too many for me to count as I’m now used to count to up to 20 only and that in Portuguese on top of all!) has gathered in the blustery wind at some car park at the back of Badentoy Park. Everyone was commenting on the weather as only Brits can do, and many with visible signs of hypothermia. But then to add to the peculiarities what hashing in Scotland looks like, many hashers (not Harriette’s!) would insist on wearing shorts all year round…and I will come back to that animality later…

 

Numbskull opened the circle as GM Shaky didn’t cum today. Apparently it was Shaky’s birthday today and he decided he had better things to do than running in wind and rain with other half minds. He kept himself cosy and drunk at the comfort of his home. He will hopefully get recognized for this crime against hash on the next run!

 

So, as Numbskull opened the circle he was looking for new runners and visitors and of course returners!  I, Threesome, was mentioned and even though most of them couldn’t anymore remember my hash handle (it’s been so freaking long since my last appearance in September) I’ve been called in for being a returner and assigned a scribe. Three times!!!…as people kept forgetting I was a scribe and I was reassigned this dishonourable job again and again and again. Three times for Threesome! They should bloody remember that now or shall I repeat? (Next scribe you’ll get renamed Foursome! Ed)

 

Quite a few pre-run DD were given:

 

Chalk talk (or should I say flour talk?) by the hares Little Shit and Sharnie was a confusing message of short trail, confusing checks and do not get lost message after which, they concluded that we don’t have to worry too much as Sharnie will take it from behind anyway.

So off we went… On On …although, there is not much calling going on with this pack.

 

The trail lead us through some prickly bushes and heather up the hill to the summit with some derelict concrete structure on the top. At that point we lost all the running bastards and we started our long descent. Bruce Almighty has tried to set me in a direction of runners confused by seeing myself stuck with lazy bastards called here walkie-talkies.  He thought I was lost. Well, today Threesome was a walker and little I will know about what runners were up to while we were slowly progressing down the hill. Sharnie started to panic soon and herded us off the path down past the bushes asking us to hide so the runners won’t see us. Hide and seek? That’s new on hash! We liked it and played along and soon we were rewarded for our good behaviour. Sweets and beer at a nice lake in an old quarry were awaiting us and for a long time we didn’t need to share them with runners! Well done us!

 

Eventually the runners showed up and crowded the small view point with their chatter and a fight for whatever was left of beer and chocolates.

I noticed one particular runner who I never met before, Todger, because of his close resemblance of TickBait who has departed during my long winter absence. The pack must have missed him so much and it looks like they have found a replacement for him in Todger. Hope he will live up to their expectations!!

 

The group looked very excited standing high above that pretty quarry lake, especially Fireflaps, Tonto, Hippo and Todger, who were edging for a long time. To my relief they did not make each other go over - does it make me a bad person?

 

Many interesting chats have been had over those cold beers found as a treasure in the bushes. And here we come back to our aforementioned topic of hashers wearing shorts all year round. Oneliner tries very hard to explain it to me but all he could come up with was something about how all he needs is the good blood flow under his shorts. I’m hoping all the shorts wearers keep their blood flow in that area good and strong!?!

 

As we were wrapping up this interesting conversation and I was half convinced I sort of understand, The Penguin passed us by with some blood coming from under his shorts. I’m not making this up I promise!  I thought we were talking about another kind of a blood flow? So I keep being puzzled by this peculiar behaviour of Scottish wankers hashers and hope one day someone will come with a better explanation.

 

Another interesting conversation at that edging state of us was with my long lost hashing friend, a harriette I used to hash with back in Brunei. You will know her by her nerd name Just Anna as she introduced herself to the group. But she is known in hash world as?  (all may revealed in the circle. Ed). She told me doesn’t like her hash handle and was hoping to get a new one. Sneaky!  She should’ve known better as if you don’t like your hash handle it means it’s a good one and you will be stuck with it unless you get even a worse one. That’s a good old hash tradition, isn’t it?

 

A short and pleasing walk along the road on the forest path and we are back to cars. Drinks and snacks were promptly served and the pack shivered in that wintertime wind. The mulled wine has been immediately spotted as a great source of warmth and many reached for the plastic cups and promptly filled them with the hot beverage. Someone from afar called it a mold wine and I found it entertaining until I actually tasted it. It was literally a mold wine.

 

The circle was called and the traditional proceedings started.

DD went to:


 

On on! Yours not so sincerely Threesome


2126 - Sun 07 Apr 2024 - Deeside Activity Park ( 42#ers) - Hares: JC & FiFi - Scribe: Rats

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run 2126

Sun  07 April 2024

OnOn: Deeside Activity Park

Hares: FiFI + JC

Scribe: Rats

Arrived after a lovely few days at modest holiday cottage courtesy still in shock after receiving council tax bill DOUBLED courtesy of Holyrood Rulers for multiple property owners……  (It WOULD be considered very kindly and appreciated if AH3 could crowd fund and help people like myself and other hashers in similar circumstances).

(After being nominated as scribe consulted with the Pack Legal Eagle to obtain guidance for scribing post implementation of recent Legislation.) He advised “DON’T DO IT”

A Person commits an offence if they communicate material or behave in a manner that a reasonable person would consider to be threatening or abusive with the intention of stirring up hatred based on protected characteristics”    Hopefully ???  the following meets criteria to avoid a spell in Barlinnie with some criminal calling themselves Isla.

A collection of 2 legged mammals assembled in a circular fashion (identifying as HASHERS – a group of claimed protected characteristics. They were accompanied by some 4 legged mammals identifying as CANINES (not dogs or bitches)).  

A kindly gentle person of indeterminate vintage identifying as a multi faith spiritual advisor congratulated some of the persons present on completing a recent pilgrimage across Scotland.  They were rewarded with refreshments accompanied by multi faith songs. Interestingly many had similar hats of assorted colours with heraldic symbols – some would have been appropriate for wearing at a football game to be played that day – Orange & Blue??  Reputedly (though not heard by myself the sound of piccolos and drums were heard in the far distance?)

The collective group of mammals with protected characteristics went around the woods, fields, forests and rivers following some environmentally friendly substance called flour. This was the multi faith offering to the wildlife to be eaten after completion of this new MINI PILGRIMAGE.   Apparently this ability to effectively trespass across private property is a gift from political Aristocrats who live courtesy of grateful taxpayers and rule their serfs from a far off place called Holyrood?? 

A fabulous pilgrimage included an exciting abseil down a steep slope to the Falls of Birse, searching for Dorothy, Toto, Pot of Gold, Red Slippers and the Wicked Witch of The North was inspired by a fabulous rainbow.  Nothing was found other than Water Nymphs, pixies and Elves. Apparently after being legally pardoned The Wicked Witch is now a SPAD in Edinburgh with special responsibilities for protection of bats and newts.

Some kindly persons had left refreshments (food and liquid) enroute for the pilgrims the final one at a magical pool of water where 2 gentle people of indeterminate vintage were guarding the refreshments albeit in a non-threatening or aggressive manner.

At this stage the collective people of protected characteristics returned to the car park and more kindly non-threatening people of indeterminate age spoke to a selection of the pilgrims who had contributed to the day, more refreshments were drunk to the sound of appreciative chorally talented persons. 

A late addition was an announcement of a planned environmentally friendly ski pilgrimage to the French Alps with pilgrims wanted.

 

After a SPLENDID day (10/10) some serfs adjourned to the restaurant, the remainder departing after another successful multi faith pilgrimage in Planet Destroying Vehicles – apart from the Wicked Witch!!


2125 - Sun 31 Mar 2024 - Burnet Park, Banchory (42 #ers) - Hares: Shaky - Scribe: Little Shit

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run No. 2125

OnOn: Burnett Park, Banchory

Hare: Shaky

Scribe: Little Shit

 

Well, well! What a fine morning we had! The sun was shining and we an unexpected turnout of 42 hashers, which came as a surprise to the hare. Most were attired for a heavy duty hill walking expedition, suitable for all weather conditions. A good moto, when it comes to hashing! “Be prepared”

 

So the scene is set, and Shaky called the pack to order, and “circled up!”   Those of you who are eagle eyed will have noticed that the GM was also the Hare for the day! “Yes, he was the one sporting a very sexy pair of bunny ears.”  He also gets to nominate his own scribe!  You may have also noticed that Aids was also unexpectedly present.  So, as a nominated RA for the day, your stand-in RA got instantly sacked and promoted to scribe…..

 

Aids promptly stepped into the circle with a handful of goodies.

 

Well done to them both!

 

Over to the hare; And Shaky laid out a road plan of various signs for false trails and back checks and circular checks, some with ‘X’ in and arrows of various colours.  He omitted to mention three dots on a tree!  Then a list of excuses were issued, such as heavy rain and flour eating snails and dogs…….

 

The running pack set off for a circuitous run round the cricket ground; led by Cinders and CannaBeArsed, closely followed by Fire Flaps and Tonto.  They were followed up by Stalker and Bag’O’Bones at a more sedate pace.  Some of the back runners considered this as a possible false trail and it may go left into the woods as it usually does.  “No it didn’t!  Try and keep up.”

 

Out of the park onto the road and heading towards East Mains, then a turn to the right and a short climb onto the old railway line. At this point the runners met up with the FWBs.  Bruce Almighty, in fine fettle, closely followed by Olymprick, still sporting his 1000th award jacket.

 

The runners then waved goodbye to the walkers and headed deep into Corsee Wood, at this point Ionna, Patsy and Mario’s Chuff had taken over the FRB role.

 

Some excellent falsies brought the pack back together at Upper Locton, apart from a number of walkers who thought they could out guess the hare, even with a map in hand!  OnOn, was called, and Tonto, Short’n’Thick, Fire Flaps, Premature and Stalker all set off in a line.

 

Leaving Upper Locton behind we headed into Brooklyn; at this point I lost the pack. Erroneous spots of flour on trees!  The last of the runners I saw, was Ding Dong.  She was checking out on my left, then as I returned to the check point, NO PACK.  Bugger!

 

All was not lost; I bumped into Bungee Finger and The Bitchhh and we used our hashing ability to actually loose trail again and end up back in Upper Locton.  “Never give in”, and finally we made the Beers Stop, NO BEER!

 

On In to the circle.

 

Ah, they’re back!” Aids then sauntered into the circle and then started singing "It's A Lovely Day Today".  I’m glad I can turn my hearing aids off, what’s left of it anyway! Obviously he was regressing to his childhood Panto days.  For those who want to sing along:

 "It's A Lovely Day Today"

It's a lovely day today

So whatever you've got to do

You've got a lovely day to do it in, that's true

And I hope whatever you've got to do

Is something that can be done by two

For I'd really like to stay

It's a lovely day today

And whatever you've got to do

I'd be so happy to be doing it with you

But if you've got something that must be done

And it can only be done by one

There is nothing more to say

Except it's a lovely day for saying

It's a lovely day

After accepting his self-inflicted down down Aids finally got on with, handing out further punishments:

 

Charges by Aids:

The sun'll come out, tomorrow

Bet your bottom dollar, that tomorrow

There'll be sun!

Just thinking about, tomorrow

Clears away the cobwebs, and the sorrow

'Til there's none!

When I'm stuck in a day

That's gray and lonely

I just stick out my chin

And grin and say

Charge by Fire flaps:

Charge by FiFi:

Charges by Shaky:

Charge by Fetus Envey


 

Your ‘umble scribe

Little Shit


2124 - Sun 24 Mar 2024 - Hill of 3 Stanes, Slug Rd (43 #ers) - Hares: Hazukashii & Fire Flaps - Scribe: FiFi

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run No 2124

Sun 24th March 2024

OnOn: Slug Road (Mid Hill Wind Farm entrance)

Hares: Hazukashii & FireFlaps

Scribe: Fifi

 

JC and I arrived at the OnOn to join a subdued gathering of AH3, still processing the incredibly sad news that Toy Boy Tom, having been hit by a car on Seafield Road on 6th March and having lain unconscious in intensive care ever since, was to have his life support machine switched off the following day, 25th March (coinciding with his 69th birthday). Many happy memories of TBT have been, and continue to be, shared on the WhatsApp Group chat along with photographs of the wonderful little man invariably smiling and cheerful, with his signature flop of blond hair and his attire of sometimes dubious style.

 

Pre-run down-downs were awarded to:

 

The hares, having already warned of the likelihood of wet feet ahead, decorated the car park with flour before indicating the way up the forest track, at which point it began to rain. Luckily ‘twas but a shower, but it was followed by a few more before the trail was done, as it was a loooong trail, in time if not in distance. I didn’t see much of it since I was on my bike, this being a handy excuse for not tackling the jungle summit expeditions undertaken by the pack.

 

Surprisingly, Hippo was leading the way as they descended the Hill of Three Stones, this being the first fallen pine jungle summit. As Hippo was diverted up a falsie, JC took the lead to the next check and on down to the Cowie Water. The pack then turned right before crossing the foot bridge over the water and heading up to the jungle summit of Hill of Tresta.

 

Golden Shower was the last runner to set off up this hill. Ballerina was the last man to the bridge but avoided the jungly summit by taking a handy short cut along the river instead, following the example set by Little Shit, seen heading that way earlier on. (Nah! Seen short cutting by climbing both deer fences and also at the top of the 2nd hill. Ed)

 

Meanwhile the walkie talkies settled for just one summit and were shortcutting to the beer and sweetie check that sported a wooden bench from which to take in the view southwards. It would have had a fine view if not for an intrusive line of noisy, humming overhead lines and a wind farm on the eastern horizon. But, it was at least sunny when I arrived there, having pushed my bike up the grassy track which had been thoughtfully laid out for AH3’s convenience by a friendly landowner. Perhaps it was the same friendly landowner who had been busy wiping out flour spots and checks just to make it a more challenging trail.

 

In due course, the clouds came over once more, by which time most of the walkie talkies had drifted back towards the cars, and eventually the intrepid two-peaks runners arrived, having run out of bridges and being obliged to ford back across the aforesaid Cowie Water. After quaffing beers and scoffing sweeties, the pack headed along a short but very boggy section thoroughly churned up by SSEN tending their pylons. Hence Tia finished the run wearing fetching black stockings, and being promised the full shampoo and set treatment once Muff Diver and High Maintenance got her home.

 

Shaky called the rabble to order and gave us a brief resume of Toy Boy Tom’s AH3 career before the down-downs.

 

Most of Toy Boy Tom’s early hashing took place elsewhere but he first made an appearance with AH3 in 1990, before becoming a regular from 2007 onwards. Run 1295 “Toy Boy Tom's Titillatingly Tremendous Trot around the Gramps” (his title!) was the first of many AH3 trails set by Toy Boy Tom.

He ran 440 AH3 trails and set 44 of them, always being willing to help less experienced hares or to step up at the last minute when we would otherwise have had no trail set at all. Toy BoyTom was kind-hearted, friendly, warm, joyful and “simply the best”.

 

Shaky then led us in a rendition of the Brother Hasher song before we all drank a toast to our Toy Boy Tom.

 

We will most certainly miss him sorely.

 

Post-run down-downs were awarded to:

 

On Inn was at the Stonehaven Station Hotel (but I wasn’t there on account of having to rush home to nurse Boston).


2123 - Sun 17 Mar 2024 - Brathens (35 #ers) - Hares: Redstripe - Scribe: Tonto

2122 - Sun 10 Mar 2024 - International School (43 #ers) - Hares: Gingervitis & Patsy - Scribe: Muff Diver

Run 2122 

from Intenational School, Aberdeen.

Hares Gingervitus and Patsy.

Scribe: Muff Diver ( Tia refused to write up this one as retaliation for not winning scribe of the year last year). Her and The Donald both think the elections were rigged.

 

We circled up on a dreich drizzly day. I observed some dodgy parking attempts but won’t name and shame.

 

Struth sent some love to Toy Boy Tom, we all wished him a speedy recovery.

Ballerina was given a 400th run award and in true form showed some skin which got the girls hollering FOOWARRRRRH!

 

A good run followed with a lap of Hazlehead Park ( I think ). I took the short walk route and found runners Tonto and Twizzle very lost after the sweetie check restart.

 

The beer was easily found (thank you hares) and there was therefore no delay in practising for later down downs. Some practised a bit too much but more of that later.

 

Back to the circle and plenty down downs were dished out:

 

Barbarella and Pink Panther were rewarded for difficulty in finding the school. I blame Shaky for putting the hash sign out on Deeside Road very late. If truth be told I missed the turn off too on  first attempt.

 

Hippo and Tonto were spotted playing air guitar to Sweet Home Alabama at the Sensational Ball on Friday night. Nothing wrong with that I say. Anyway they were punished with some concoction of cheap lager.

 

From the same Ball, Sir Deadmund Hillary and Twizzle were charged with a “different dance style from what is normally expected”. A bit like how one would imagine Boris Yeltsin or Theresa May would dance somebody said.

 

Todger told a sad story of meeting a girl, taking her home, and dumping her in the morning because she wouldn’t come to the hash with him, good man. Women need to learn.

 

“Torry Rat Boy” Fetus was in full song at one point but was shooshed by Gingervitus for swearing at the little children passing by.

An Edinburgh EH3 visitor, Big Mac, was welcomed to the run. He met an old drilling buddy from Cameroon who’s name I don’t know yet.

 

Todger and Fetus were charged with drinking 2 beers each at the beer check.

 

Biggles arrived back in Aberdeen at 11:15am and still made it to the run. Pretty impressive since he had run all the way from Mount Kilimanjaro.

 

Aids gave away some home grown seed potatoes while being heckled by High Maintenance that tatties come from the supermarket.

 

Tom and Smurf were charged with “joining another running club”. The Metro and The Green Running Club apparently. The Metro was a high class nightclub in Market Street when I was a boy. I should remind everybody that AH3 is NOT a running club! It’s a drinking club with a running problem! How many times…..

 

The hares were dealt with in the usual way then we disbanded.

 

On On.


2121 - Sun 03 Mar 2024 - Torry (32 #ers) - Hares: Barbarella & Fetus Envy - Scribe: Mario's Chuff

2120 - Sun 25 Feb 2024 - Brimond Hill (34 #ers) - Hares: Cinders & Aids - Scribe: Fetus Envy 

2119 - Sun 18 Feb 2024 - Cults (51 #ers) - Hares: Mum Mum, & Todger - Scribe: Golden Shower

2118 - Sun 11 Feb 2024 - Riverside Drive (34 #ers) - Hares: Golden Shower- Scribe: Ballerina

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run 2118

Sun 11 Feb 2024

OnOn: Riverside Drive, Bridge of Dee

Hare: Golden Shower

Stand-in GM: Ballerina

Scribe: Ballerina

 

I haven’t scribed for a while as normally I either forget (due to work etc) or can’t read notes. This time I was overcome by beer duties and forgot to take notes! So here goes!!!

I have to thank Numskull for his efforts last week as his write up for run 2117 suggests he had many tasks. I do have evidence that Numskull has mastered the art of delegation!!

As you can see the GM was ill, over indulged on Skispedition but blamed Fifi for spreading the lurgy. I have to admit standing in as GM I was a little rusty as its 10 years since I was GM. I thought I’d let the hare hand out scribe (which is what has happened recently) only for it to backfire and be handed straight back to me.

Aids gave the pre run down down to Glasgow for French speaking as France beat Scotland in the 6 nations with some controversy – no idea what the issue was as England beat Wales!!

Over to Golden Shower, he explained it was a short-ish run! So off we went. Seems not so many runners as walkers held back to get maps – what happened to follow the flour (and most can’t read maps anyway). I intended to walk (honest not feeling well – the GM germs had spread) but the hare led me and Sharnie on a short cut only for it to be a long cut!! Before I knew it I was FRB but the pack were heading in all directions as the flour disappeared and finally gave up and turned 180 degree as trail had gone completely in a different direction and up into Torry.  I about turned and headed back only to find Scrungebucket and Barberella also searching for trail. Back on trail following the lovely streets of Torry. I guessed we were heading to the gramps (which I later found out was correct). I decided to short cut only not to find flour at all.  I did find T-Rex Cock and Sherlock heading up the A92 saying beer will be near the Shell garage. I didn’t believe him and headed into the newish houses only to find Numbskull not on trail at all but saying beer was near! Then a second about turn and I found the beer stop. I was the first there and Smiler just arrived with beer in Car. How clever am I? The pack soon arrived but Numbskull never did!

I wondered back to the cars with Aids as I wanted to get beer ready for the pack (I take my duties very serious).  I didn’t mention earlier, I was preparing Gluhwein but forgot and left it boiling in the cooker for at least half hour so it boiled over (may explain the bitter taste). It went all over the cooker and down it – Annie Bollox was very happy (or those that don’t know her, she’s a very sociable hasher only seen at parties!!). Of course no time to clean before I left !!

So the down downs started (here where memory takes over) so in no particular order :-

Lastly, The Penguin stepped with some hash history which many of us know but it should be honoured every year so we pass on the knowledge.

This is an extract from: Alberto Gisbert | How It All Started | Hash House Harriers Singapore (hhhs.org.sg)

AH3 raised a glass in honour of Gisspert who was killed on February 11th 1942.

Alberto Esteban Ignacio Gispert, known to his friends as “G”, was born in London of Spanish parents on 31 July 1903. Alberto Gispert, generally regarded as the principal amongst the founders of the original Hash - KL 1938 - was an accountant by profession with Evatth & Co. with whom he worked in Singapore, Malacca, and Kuala Lumpur. While in Malacca in the early party of 1938 he took part in weekly runs with a local group called Springgit Harriers, mostly Malayan Civil Service personnel. After sometime, with the aid of Cecil Lee and 'Horse' Thompson, he managed to organise a new group. Nearly all runners were members of the Selangor Club, sometimes referred to as the Hash House Harriers.

Gispert, as far can be ascertained, organised the first run and appointed Cecil Lee and 'Horse' Thompson as Joint Masters. The group flourished and were able to celebrate their 100th run on 15 August 1941. The hares for this first Hash century were E.A. Ross and M.C. Hay.

During the battle for Singapore, he was killed at Dairy Farm Road early on the morning of 11 February 1942, age 39. His body was never identified.  His name is inscribed at the Kranji War Memorial here in Singapore on the Memorial Wall.  The intervention of the Imperial Japanese Army brought hashing to a stop on 12 December 1941. But in August 1946 the Hash was back in business with the help of Torch Bennet, Philip Wickens, and Cecil Lee, all prewar hashmen.

 

On 19 February 1962, Ian Cumming, an ex-KL hashman, founded a second Hash in Singapore. The rest, as they say, is history.
  

We are all here because of what “G” started some 80 years ago.

 

On On

Ballerina

 


2117 - Sun 04 Feb 2024 - Brathens (29 #ers) - Hares: Panty Pockets & Bag'O'Bones - Scribe: Numbskull

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run 2117

Sunday 04/02/24

Brathens Eco Business Park

Hares – Bag O’ Bones & Panty Pockets

Weather – chilly compared to Auckland

Scribe: Numbskull

 

 

The following is not a significant epistle, so waste of time to read on really.

 

Seems most of the hash (and the committee) were away for the Ski-pedition or some Burns night junket in Glasgow, so I was specially flown back from New Zealand to stand in as RA, hash beer and other things.

 

Hash called to order (bang on time). No new runners, no visitors and only me and The Dutchess as returners (specially flown back from New Zealand to stand in as RA, hash beer and other things). Note to other scribes – repeating stuff helps to fill the page and get the job done quicker (as does drawing attention to it - like this). It’s all boring anyway.

 

Pre-run DDs to:

Smurf and Short‘n’Thick for stretching (how original! – the award of DDs, not the stretching).

 

Aids pointed out I had forgotten to appoint a scribe, so I ended up doing it. Usual stuff from the hares about the run (I wasn’t listening).

 

I then wandered up the hill and turned left past Red Stripe’s house (Hi!). Down the hill and round some blown-over fencing surrounding what looks like another new Banchory housing enclave. Up past Shaky’s house (Hi!) and eventually got to the beer stop (not bad – Eh!). All downhill (nearly) from there back to the car park and circle.

 

DDs and stuff (in no particular order):

 

 

The run was voted as ‘pretty good’ – although no formal vote was taken. Shouts of ‘Run of the Year ’and ‘Run of the Month’ were ignored.

 

Special mention to The Dutchess and others for helping with hash beer and largely saving me the job. It was noted that the old table and the white cool box lid had been broken (Ballerina - see me later).

 

Then off to Scott Skinner’s (yes, really) for the On-Inn.

Nummers


2116 - Sun 28 Jan 2024 - Tollohill Wood (58 #ers) - Hares: NotDot & Biggles - Scribe: Thrup'ney Bits

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run #: 2116

Date:  Sunday 28th January 2024 @11am

OnOn: Tollohill Woods

Hares: NotDot & Biggles

Scribe: Thrupenny Bits

 

Sunday morning started well with a leisurely breakfast and a much appreciated short drive to the run site. Despite the hares’ warnings about the small carpark, my Shite Boyfriend managed to squeeze his latest, newish car onto the verge without mishap. Our illustrious GM called the circle to order and just about remembered his many duties, although not necessarily in the right order. When he said that the scribe hailed from the West Country I was a little puzzled; I looked around at the assembled bunch of nearly 60 hashers and wondered who else might be from such a luvverly part of the UK. As far as I was aware only I can admit to being a paaasty-loving, clotted-cream-before-jam-on-scone true Devon maid. Oooh aaaar, that be right.

So proceedings continued with Wee Willie being awarded one of the best ever and most useful item of clothing for achieving 450 runs – an ear protecting all-weather hat.

Drillbit also received a down down for throwing away a tray full of drinks on Friday night – he tripped over a haggis or something apparently.

Over to the hares and some “instructions” that of course nobody was paying any attention to, apart from possibly the new runner. The runners set off and after some unnecessary faffing the walkers were offered maps and suggestions for possible short cuts.

As a walker, a pleasant Sunday morning stroll around Tollohill Woods followed, with a fair amount of chatting, shiggy and plenty of flour to follow. No idea what the runners got up to except it included some tricky terrain and various obstacles. Walkers and runners met up at the sweetie check and the beer check, so well done to the hares for that clever (or maybe lucky?) bit of planning.

Down downs to:

Circle ended with a huge creamy Birthday Cake to celebrate AH3’s 41st birthday last Tuesday. Was Ballerina cutting it up with a credit card or a bus pass…..

OnOn to next week’s hash at Brathens, Banchory.

 

 

 


2115 - Sun 21 Jan 2024 - Potarch Green (55 #ers) - Hares: Short'n'Thick & Underlay - Scribe: Bungee Finger

2114 - Sun 14 Jan 2024 - Hill of Three Stones, Slug Road (39 #ers) - Hares: Skippy & Nutcracker - Scribe: Hippo

2113 - Sun 07 Jan 2024 - Haddo House   (49 #ers) - Hares: Eggfoo & Tonto - Scribe:  Express Chicken

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run 2113

Sun 07 Jan 2024

OnOn: Haddo House

Hares: Eggfoo & Tonto

Scribe: Express Chicken

 

It was a sunny, but cold, day when we assembled at Haddo House on 7th January for the first hash of 2024. The vast majority of hashers arrived by the perilously icy route, from the south gate by Raxton Cottage. Little Shit wondered how many people had taken an alternative route; by this he probably meant one of the two routes that connect with the Ellon-Methlick road. There weren’t many - only one I think - and however you arrived at the car park, one thing was certain - it was like an ice rink.

 

It’s All Because was awarded a hat with flaps (Biggles style) for amassing 450 runs.

 

There were a few new runners and returners:

 

·         Porn Again (who insisted she was Born Again) had been Scribe and Haberdasher at the Bahrain Hash. She’d also lived in the same house as The Penguin, although at a different time.

·         Camel Humper (Jameel) - a keen hasher all the way from sunny Bahrain.

·         Mike - fiancee of Porn Again - did he have a hash handle?

 

Tonto & Egg Foo were the hares. They explained that, due to ongoing forestry operations, we’d encounter our fair share of bars and it was our duty to respect them. This news was well received, although the message it conveyed may have been open to misinterpretation.

 

We were also instructed to heed the pheasant pluckers - a sound piece of advice at any time, both in Haddo and beyond.

 

There would be a Sweetie Stop and a Beer Stop. The location of the Beer Stop would be within the sum of rod, pole and perch from the main trail. Hmm  …….. how far is that then?

 

Apparently rods, poles or perches – different names for the same unit - hark back to medieval times when ploughing was done with oxen. The ploughman handled the plough, and the lad controlled the beasts with a rod, pole or perch. In the 16th century, a rod was decreed to be the combined length of the left feet of 16 men as they left church on a Sunday morning.

 

Just to confuse things further, Scotland has a different rod measurement from England. An English rod measures 16.5 feet (5.03 metres), which is a quarter of a chain. Whereas a Scots rod measures 18.5 feet (5.65 metres). You get more for your money up here.

 

If we summed those three units together (despite being the same unit) then we could, at best, be looking at a distance of 15.09 metres between the trail and the beer. Obviously this information factored in an element of ambiguity, which no doubt we all pondered whilst running off, and it may partially explain why so many people ran straight past the Beer Stop.

 

Shaky had other things on his mind. He’d lost his wallet. A full scale alert was averted when he discovered it within the chaos of his car.

 

Off we all set - through some woodland and out to skirt the Walled Garden. Plenty of checks to keep the pack together - and ice to slow us all down. When we left the beaten track and scampered across a field we arrived at a precarious wrought iron sphere perched on (and cememted to) a rock. It was covered in quotes, proverbs and sayings; the agile among us could even climb inside it. Haven’t a clue who created it, or why it was put there, but it was quite interesting.

 

One person who certainly didn’t attempt entering the wrought iron structure was Drillbit, whose ear crystals might object to any such contortionist activity. Indeed balance challenged a lot us, mostly due to the muddy and icy nature of the terrain. Everyone moaned about the rain however Camel Humper pointed out that in Bahrain they have a prayer for rain, and they’re always glad to see it.

 

The Deer Park was closed, which must be very frustrating for the deer. Where are they now meant to park themselves?

 

We enjoyed the formal grandeur of Haddo Estate in the final part of the hash; looking up the Scots Mile to the enormous stone urn at the top of the hill, and crossing the green outside the Pheasantry - no pheasants though - maybe they’ve all been plucked.

 

Finally we passed the Obelisk - a prick of a memorial to one of the Gordon boys, who died at the Battle of Waterloo. Then we were back in the car park, having missed the Beer Stop. How did that happen?

 

We had to retrace our steps to find it, located beneath a large beech tree. Unfortunately there was no bottle opener but, with resourceful ingenuity, Underlay managed to open his on a stump of wood.

 

Whilst listening to snippets of conversation, I learned that AH3 has no haberdashery. To acquire your first T-shirt you’ve got to attend 25 runs. This is at variance with most other hash chapters I’ve encountered, where they’ll flog you any number of rude and embarrassing, synthetic T-shirts, at exorbitant prices, even if you didn’t do the hash.

 

We meandered back to the ice rink where the circle formed again in the adjacent field. Despite being cold underfoot, at least we were spared the horrors of vehicles gathering momentum as they slithered uncontrollably towards us.

 

 

Apparently JC propositioned someone about joining him for brekkie - but I’m not sure what that was all about so I won’t mention it.

Tickbait intimated that next week’s run would likely be in Durris. Keep your eyes on social media for more details.