Scribes 1994

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers Mismanagement Meeting

We was there: Sharnie, Olymprick, Pigpen, Aids, Little Shit

Date: 6th December 1994

NEXT MEETING: Aids Hospice, Wed 11th January 1995.

1.0 T'Roper's & Big Jim's Leaving Do (Saturday 26th November) The committee was satisfied with the way the evening went, the food could have been better, but considering the catering facilities that were available, it wasn't bad. The T'Ropers and Big Jim said that they thoroughly enjoyed the do. The event ran at a small profit of £10, this will be put into the Lalombada wine fund. Ron has the membership for the Aberdeen Cricket Club, Manofield, so if enone wants to go there for a drink, see Ron!

2.0 Shell Panto (Friday 2nd December) Aids had 20 tickets for the the Panto, based on people wanting to go. At least 6 dropped out, leaving Aids with prepaid tickets to get rid of. (Which he did in the end). Next year people will have to get tickets on their own bat.

3.0 Joint run with Elgin (Sunday 4th December) Small (8 from AH3) but well laid trail by Michelin Man. There was no explanation for such a poor AH3 turn out!

4.0 Christmas Din Dins (Saturday 16th December) Lalombada has been booked for the above date. Cost of the meal is £13.50 per head, total cost £20 per head including 1/2 bottle of wine. Any money left over will be put behind the bar and spent on wine. 50 tickets have been produced and these are going rapidly. Joy Boy has volunteered to organise the party games.

19.0 Christmas Lunch Last year Hippo organised a Hash Business Christmas Lunch at the Lemon Tree, on the last Thursday before Christmas. It was thought that some Hashers may want to organise another lunch time event on the last week to Christmas. Little Shit will advertise in the hashsheet and ask in the next run circle.

5.0 Christmas day run (Sunday 25th December) Olymprick has offered to lay the run. OnOn will be Thain's Bakery and the OnInn will the Northern Bar.

6.0 Hogmanay Party (Saturday 31st December) A volunteer is still needed for this "let’s get pissed" do.

7.0 Burns Supper (Saturday 28th January) Easylife has offered to have the Supper at his place in preference to having a Hogmanay Party. Olymprick is already rehearsing the speeches. No costs advanced yet.

8.0 Nethybridge Weekend (Friday 3rd, Saturday 4th, Sunday 5th March) The above dates have been booked and a deposit of £250 sent to Brian Patrick, the owner of the lodges, to reserve the week end. The cost has gone up since last year and is now £11/bed/night. The full cost (35 beds x £22 + £100 deposit = £870) has to be paid by the 16th January. It is proposed to charge £30/head for the weekend, which includes £5 for the meal at the Heatherbrae on Sunday and £3 for booze and food on Saturday night. The weekend is to be opened out to the rest of world, so AH3 hashers will be encouraged to book early. Post-dated cheques for the 16th January 1995 will be accepted.

9.0 Valentine do Little Shit will be organising a quiet candle lit romantic meal for about 20/25 hashers on the Saturday nearest to Valentine’s Day.

10.0 Glen Afric Weekend (early April) The location appears to be O/K, so a small outing will be arranged for 12 to 15 bodies.

11.0 Charity Run (Sunday 16th April 95) Willie has offered to hold a charity fund raising on the last Sunday run, much the same format as in previous years. Willie will need assistance in raising money, organising a venue, T shirt design/selling etc... Aids is to contact Willie to find out what is happening.

12.0 650th (Sunday 18th June 95) It was thought as this event was a couple of weeks after Glasgow 500th (28/4) and round about the same time as EH3 750th (about mid-June), it was the better part of valour to only do a small bash and save all the effort for the 666th. A special run will be made to commemorate the 650th and some sort of function after the run held. The 650th could also be used to raise a bit of cash to help pay for the 666th. The Inn at the Park was put forward by Aids as a venue for the Saturday night.

13.0 666th (Sunday 24th September 95) One week after Eurohash, but it was thought that this would not affect the numbers that will turn up. The 1st priority is to find a venue. Olymprick will do a bit of snooping to see if Tertowie will take us, Aids will contact Foveran and Ron will be asked about the suitability of using the Templers. Blairs College could also be a possibility, who are the developers?

14.0 700th (On or around 3/6/96) Cyprus have accepted the AH3 700th as a run during Interhash, with one proviso that the hares have hashed in Cyprus before, no problem! Olymprick, Pigpen, Aids, Sharnie and Little Shit have offered to be on the 700th committee.

15.0 Subs. There appears to be a problem with putting up the funds to £2/run, a number of hounds have expressed concern over such a large increase. It is proposed to reduce this to £1.50/run and start the new rate on the 1st January, a cost analysis needs to be done before it can be implemented, Pigpen has volunteered to do this. Sharnie will look at the possibility of using standing orders to pay run money quarterly, this method of payment would be at a reduced subscription to encourage hounds to take it up. It was agreed that new runners only get ONE free run, after that they have to pay like the rest of us.

16.0 Flour and Beer Checks To make life easier it has been proposed to scrap the refunding of hares for flour and beer. If a hare requires flour they should contact Olymprick at the bakery and they can have as much flour as needed. Also, Hashbeer will supply beer check supplies on request.

17.0 Committee Perks The committee would like some hash beer at the committee meetings, within reason it sound O/K to me!

18.0 Insurance The insurance has lapsed, Sharnie has obtained quotes (Zuric Municple at £100 + vat seems O/K, just waiting for the Policy/forms to come through.)

Reporter

Little Shit

Tales from Aberdeen H3 Run 619

Date: 13th November 1994

OnOn: Asda, Dyce

OnInn: Craighar Hotel

Hare: Michelin Man

My first mistake I made at the beginning of the run was to ask Olymprick to be RA for the day, and that's what it turned into; a day.

My second mistake at the beginning of the run was asking him to be scribe!

My third mistake was to call him twice during the last two weeks to ask where the scribe was.

My fourth mistake was getting up early before this week’s run to type this up.

My fifth mistake was in believing that hashers actually read the Hashsheet.

My sixth mistake was believing that all Hashers are good sorts and if you ask nicely they will do things for you.

My seventh mistake was not being able to remember what actually happened on the run two weeks ago.

My eighth mistake was to carry on typing and try and fill a page up with writing.

My nineth mistake was saying "fuck it"!!!!!

OnOn Little shit

Those who ran:

Trevor ANCELL Little Shit

Bev BROWN Brown Owl

Phil CARPENTER Party Animal

Ian CHAPMAN Shaky

Willie DUNBAR Wee Willie

Carol FOWLER

Sharon GASCOIGNE Sharnie

Alan GILLESPIE Sir

Sheena GILLESPIE Shirley Valentine

Margaret Jane GORDON M.J.

David HAY White Trash

Peng HAY

Mick HOPKINS 4 Pack

Ian JOY Joy Boy

John McINNES Michelin Man

Louise MITCHELL

Anne MURRAY Southern Comfort

Julie RATCLIFFE Dynamite Twin

Ronnie ROBB Wild Local

Howard ROPER Hippo

Theresa ROPER Mrs T

Roger RYLEY Sperm (Visitor Darwin CH3)

Ron STRACHAN The Penguin

Chris TAYLOR Crusty Loafer

Larence TAYLOR Lightsout

Peter TAYLOR

Greame THAIN Olymprick

Pei Li WANG Chinatown

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers Mismanagement Meeting

We was there: Sharnie, Olymprick, Pigpen, Easylife, Shaky, Little Shit

Date: 1st November 1994

NEXT MEETING: Wed 7th December 7.30pm.

1.0 T'Roper's & Big Jim's Leaving Do (Saturday 26th November) The Manofild Crickert Club has been booked. The cost of the buffet is £4/head. The Dillies are not available to play, apparently there is a wedding in Edinburgh! A disco has been booked at £90. He has been ordered to make sure he has plenty of 60' & 70's music. Cost of the tickets will be £6 each, making the break even at 45.

Little Shit will produce tickets. Buffet will be laid out from 7.30 and the bar will shut at midnight. Big Jim and Annakit are shooting off to Auz at about the same time, so it would seem proper to combine their leaving do with the T Ropers. Theme for the evening "ROUND THE WORLD".

2.0 Shell Panto (Friday 2nd December) Aids has 20 tickets for the above date, Cinder's wil probably be the best person to see if you want to go. it has always been a good night in the past.

3.0 Joint run with Elgin (Sunday 4th December) Michelin Man is keen to get on and lay this run, well volunteered! Pigpen will be looking at the various alternatives for getting there. Sharnie has offered to drive a mini bus.

4.0 Christmas Din Dins (Saturday 16th December) Lalombada has been booked for the above date. Cost of the meal is circa £15 per head and the room can accommodate upto 60 bodies, it was thought it may prudent to keep the numbers down to 45/50. Easylife and Sharnie will visit Lalombada to see if a discount on the above cost can be obtained, Olymprick emphasised that the cost of the booze also had to be confirmed. Free wine would be welcome! Joy Boy has volunteered to organise the party games, Little Shit is to confirm this.

5.0 Christmas day run (Sunday 25th December) If it hasn't already been noticed, run 625 falls on Christmas day. Olymprick has offered to lay the run and organise Christmas Day dinner for the singles that are still arround with nowhere to go. Shaky was looking at having the meal at his flat!

6.0 Hogmanay Party (Saturday 31st December) See item 7.0, easylife has decided to do a Burns Supper instead of the new year party. A volunteer is needed for this "lets get pissed" do.

7.0 Burns Supper (Saturday 28th January) Easylife has offered to have the Supper at his place in preference to having a Hogmanay Party, it was thought that this would be a better bet. Olymprick and Pigpen are to assist in organising pipers and speeches etc.

8.0 Nethybridge Weekend (Friday 3rd, Saturday 4th, Sunday 5th March) The above dates have been booked and a deposit of £250 sent to Brian Patrick, the owner of the lodges, to reserve the week end. The cost has gone up since last year and is now £11/bed/night. The full cost (35 beds x £22 + £100 deposit = £870) has to be paid by the 16th January. It is proposed to charge £30/head for the weekend, which includes £5 for the meal at the Heatherbrae on Sunday and £3 for booze and food on saturday night. The weekend is to be opened out to the rest of world, so AH3 hashers will be encouraged to book early.

9.0 Valentine do Little Shit will be organising a quiet candle lit romantic meal for about 20/25 hashers on the Saturday nearest to Valentine’s day.

10.0 Glen Afric Weekend (early April) Little Shit offered to look at organising a spring visit to Glen Afric, care has to be taken not to coincide with Edinburgh Kintail weekend. Probable date, sometime in April, possibly bank holiday weekend! Pigpen thinks Hippo and DadDad know about the proposed accommodation, so he will ask their advice.

11.0 Charity Run (Sunday 16th April 95) Willie has offered to hold a charity fund raising on the last Sunday run, much the same format as in previous years. Willie will need assistance in raising

12.0 650th (Sunday 18th June 95) It was thought as this event was a couple of weeks after Glasgow 500th (28/4) and round about the same time as 50160 EH3 750th (about mid-June), it was the better part of valour to only do a small bash and save all the effort for the 666th. A special run will be made to commemorate the 650th and some sort of function after the run held. 12 The 650th could also be used to raise a bit of cash to help pay for the 666th.

13.0 666th (Sunday 24th September 95) One week after Eurohash, but it was thought that this would not affect the numbers that will turn up. The 1st priority is to find a venue. Olymprick will do a bit of snooping to see if Tertowie will take us, if not a bit of digging will be needed by everyone to find somewhere suitable. (Foveran could be a possibility)

14.0 200th (On or around 3/6/96) It has been proposed to use the 700th as a pre-amble to Interhash in Cyprus, The Envoy has been to Cyprus and it appears the Interhash Committee would welcome AH3's 700th. It was proposed that a separate 700th Mismanagement should be set up to organise things and maintain continuity over the next two years.

15.0 Subs There appears to be a problem with putting up the funds to £2/run, a number of hounds have expressed concern over such a large increase. It is proposed to reduce this to £1.50/run and start the new rate on the 1st January, a cost analysis needs to be done before it can be implemented, Pigpen has volunteered to do this. Sharnie will look at the possibility of using standing orders to pay run money quarterly, this method of payment would be at a reduced subscription to encourage hounds to take it up. It was agreed that new runners only get ONE free run, after that they have to pay like the rest of us.

16.0 Flour and Beer Checks To make life easier it has been proposed to scrap the refunding of hares for flour and beer. If a hare requires flour they should contact Olymprick at the bakery and they can have as much flour as needed. Also, Hashbeer will supply beer check supplies on request.

17.0 committee Perks The committee would like some hash beer at the committee meetings, within reason it sound O/K to me!

18.0 Insurance Fallguy does not remember paying the insurance premium for the last two years. Little Shit will chase Struth to see if she has any idea what has happened.

Reporter Little Shit

AH3 Mismanagement Meeting

We was there: Sharnie, Olymprick, Willie, Pigpen, Easylife, Shaky, Aids, Little Shit

Date: 20th September 1994

NEXT MEETING: Tues 1st Nov. 7.30pm.

1.0 650th (Sunday 18th June 95) It was thought as this event was a couple of weeks after Glasgow 500th (28/4) and round about the same time as EH3 750th (about mid June), it was the better part of valour to only do a small bash and save all the effort for the 666th. A special run will be made to commemorate the 650th and some sort of function after the run held. The 650th could also be used to raise a bit of cash to help pay for the 666th.

2.0 666th (Sunday 24th September 95) One week after Eurohash, but it was thought that this would not effect the numbers that will turn up. The 1st priority is to find a venue. Olymprick will do a bit of snooping to see if Tertowie will take us, if not a bit of digging will be needed by everyone to find somewhere suitable. (Foveran could be a possibility)

3.0 700th (On or around 3/6/96) It has been proposed to use the 700th as a pre-amble to Interhash in Cyprus, The Envoy has been asked to suss out the Interhash Committee to see if our activities will upset anything that they may be doing (Envoy should be able to report back by the next meeting). It was proposed that a separate 700th Mismanagement should be set up to organise things and maintain continuity over the next two years.

4.0 T'Roper's Leaving Do (Last weekend in November) The Inn at the Park is not available for this do, other alternatives are being investigated. All suggestions on a venue should be passed to Sharnie ASAP! The Dillies are available to play, costs to be advised. Once venue has been decided Little Shit will produce tickets.

5.0 Christmas Din Dins (16/17 December) Normal turkey with all the trimmings, formal dress and party games. Sharnie will contact La Lombada and the 3 Poceros to see if available. It was though that the former would be preferred.

6.0 Panto (2/3 December) Aids to sell tickets for the above dates, all proceeds to charity.

7.0 Hogamony Party Easylife has offered to lay on a party, good man!

8.0 Nethybridge Weekend No dates available yet, Brian Patrick the owner of the lodges has been contacted by Little Shit and confirmation of availability awaited. It was proposed that if January 95 was available, a Burns Supper at the Heatherbrae may be an option. Little Shit to report back at the next meeting.

9.0 Glen Afric Weekend Little Shit offered to look at organising a spring visit to Glen Afric, care has to be taken not to coincide with Edinburgh Kintail weekend. Probable date, sometime in April, possibly bank holiday weekend!

10.0 Guy Faulks Night 5th November is on a Saturday night this year, it is suggested that the Hash meets at the Ferryhill Hotel, moseys down to Duthie Park to watch the fire works and then retires back to the Ferrhill. Possibility of laying on a meal to be looked at by Aids.

11.0 Burns Supper (Wed 25th January) Olymprick is looking at returning to the Palm Court, but '94s supper may preclude this venue from the list of options. If Nethybridge is available on the weekend of Sat 28th Jan, the use of the Heatherbrae may be an option. Inn at the Park is another option!

12.0 Charity Run (Sun 16/4/95) Willie has offered to hold a charity fund raising on the last Sunday run, much the same format as in previous years. Willie will need assistance in raising money, organising a venue, T shirt design/selling etc...

13.0 Subs Although membership fees have been due since last April, a number of hounds are still unwilling to stump up. Collecting of this yearly fee is becoming tiresome and a unwelcome burden for Hashcash. In an effort to make life easier the yearly membership fee will be dropped from April '95. Too make up the shortfall in funds the run moneys will be increased to 2 pounds per run, starting April '95. It was felt that those who run more than others may end up subsidising those who only turn up for the social events, but this should not be a problem if all functions are made to break even! Other options considered were - to remain as is and charge non paid ups £2/run, this was considered hard to police and rejected.- charge non-members extra for social functions (this is still an option, but would have to be based on number of runs!)

14.0 Beer Checks The principle of refunding hares for beer checks was supported, but would be limited to £5 on production of receipts. (Hares to supply their own flour) Currently most hares do not ask for reimbursement, under the understanding that if everyone lays a trail we all break even. Pigpen promised to make every effort to see that all runners laid their fair share of trails.

15.0 Hash Beer It was felt that the quality of beer supplied after the run was variable and that it should be standardised to one type of lager and one type of export/bitter (60p/can). Softies to remain as is, although it was accepted that large bottles were cheaper than cans there was probably more wastage. Large bottles of beer will be supplied for use by the RA. It was noted that some hounds have more than one can of beer after the run, this was not seen as too much of a problem and a gentle word in the ear of the offenders should suffice. Extra cans can be bought after the run for £1/can beer, 50p/can softie. Issue of tokens for beer was proposed, but was rejected as too much trouble for Hashcash and Hashbeer.

16.0 Insurance Fallguy could not make it to meeting and full details of the hash Accounts were not known, other than the sheet issued at the AGM. Fallguy to advise if the insurance premium for 94/95 has been paid.

Reporter Little Shit

Aberdeen #609

Monday 5^th September 1994

Duthie Park

Hares: Cinders & Aids

My Early Memories by Rock-it

(Rock-it's 50th run)

My Run #1. It all seemed a bit confusing at the start but someone gave me a beer and everyone clapped and sang so I drank it. Then they all started running around in circles shouting all the time. It rained. I got wet feet and a lot of mud was thrown about. After the rain, it snowed and got really cold, but an hour and a half later it was agreed it had been a really good run.... bizarre??

My Run #2. Something was mentioned about flour spots and a cheque...no idea what that was about but ran for at least 1/2 a mile, then met some ramblers and their children who seemed to know the way back to the car park. The ramblers stayed to watch the beer drinking competition and came to the pub too so that was nice.

My Run #3. Spent most of the morning going round in circles with a runner whose name I forget, but who's initials are S.C.B. and who seemed certain where everyone was going......we got lost……..

My Run #4. There I was all on my own, minding my own business when someone ran up and shouted ARE YOU!! Into my face.......am I what???

My Run #5. Attended my first Hash party last night and was violently ill this morning. Someone gave me my kit back but I don't remember taking them off....!?

My Run #6 Saw my first blob of flour today!! Why can't I stop farting when I run??

My Run #11 Managed to run for more than twenty minutes without falling over....how do they run and talk at the same time?

My Run #15 I was called a shit and told to strip off despite the wind and rain.. Everyone shouted, “Fat bastard” and laughed at my underwear - why do I put up with this humiliation? I don't even like beer!! Don't think I'll come back.

My Run #16 (1week later) Got seriously smashed last night with the Hash, threw up and got laid by midnight - what a night!!! The RA gave me a don down for being caught running naked through the garden by a neighbour…..I suppose I deserved it.

My Run #23 Bought decent set of running shoes time. It rained, I got wet feet and a lot of mud and a cheap fleece to pour beer over. Caught was thrown about. After the rain, it snowed and laryngitis after drinking beer out of my new left got really cold but an hour and a half later it was shoe. Nobody told me not to run in new shoes….

My Run #29 Christened with my Hash name... I hate it so I'm not telling!!

My Run #32 Set my first trail with a seasoned hasher – now I know what all these blobs of flour mean! This run was really nasty with back checks and false trails everywhere... had the pack all over the place – brilliant.

My Run #37 Led the pack for a few minutes after all the FRB's got lost on a falsie.

My Run #38 I can now sing the down down song and shout “On On” knowing what it means.

My Run #43 Away day joint run. Mercilessly slagged a virgin hasher for turning up in a shell suit. Short cutted to the beer, given hash shit for groping during the run and got pissed on the bus home...a grand day out.

My Run #45 Covered in shiggy, got lost checking a falsie, knackered an ankle checking a long back check and cut my knee on barbed wire. The farmer was only a bit annoyed for scaring his cows but the On Inn made up for a bad mornings run.

My Run #47 Heckled the RA into giving me a down down by constantly talking in the circle.

My Run #48 “PHOAAAR!!! LOOK AT THE ARSE ON THAT..ON ON!!”

My Run #49 No idea what the fuck's going on... what's the quickest way to the beer...don't call me Short Cutting Bastard!!

My Run #50 Fifty Runs....is that all???

Those who ran:

Trevor ANCELL Little Shit

Adrian ATKINSON Aids

Rhona ATKINSON Cinders

Bruce BRICKNELL Pigpen

Julie BUCHAN The Orienteer

Jim CARR Big Jim

Ian CHAPMAN Shaky

Helen CLARKE Move On Down

Mark CRAWFORD Bouncer

Chris DOANE

Dick DREWNICKIE Sticky Willie

Willie DUNBAR Wee Willie

Martin ELDON Easylife

Maggie ELDON Royal Flush

Ian FEGEN Numbskull

Carol FOWLER

Sharon GASCOIGNE Sharnie

Margaret Jane GORDON M.J.

Les INNESS

Ginny LANE Doghair

Peter LANE

Shui LEE Shubidoo

Robin LEITH One Liner

Alistair McARTHUR Big Mac

John McINNES Michelin Man

Harry MILLER Scumbag

Anne MURRAY Southern Comfort

Gerry POTTER The Envoy

Alan RAMSDALE Sheep's Arse

Martin RICHMOND Sonic

Ron STRACHAN The Penguin

Greame THAIN Olymprick

Dianne BOWLER Batty

Brenda WALKER

Pei Li WANG Chinatown

Hank WILLEMSE Harley

David WILSON Rock-it

Joyce WYNESS Smiler

#594 Pitcaple and an excellent run by Little Shit, based on the theory of f*ck up the FRBs and the SCBs will get the beer!

#593 Mulloch Hill, China Town, Sheeps Arse & three irate farmers. What a total f*ck up! Run through farmers field, apologise to farmer & leave field. Run through same farmers back garden & then through his barn. One mighty pissed off farmer. Farmer phones mates and police, other farmers leave homes in force to protect crops and cattle. Hash scatters!

#592 Kirkhill, Hash Drunk, Sheep Shagger, half a bag of flour and 4 cans of Redruth. The perfect setting for pissing off a complete pack.

#591 one of the NoNo runs for yours truly, Little Shit, and this time accompanied by Hippo. A nice run round Hazel Head Park and the golf course, expertly laid on by Shui & Helen. The weather was fine, which must be the reason the RA came out of retirement, Captain "get your tits out for the boys" Beaky. Catweazle also paid a flying visit.

#590 the usual Blackhall Forest run, down to the River Dee, a nice stroll and a couple of beers, all laid on by Captain Bligh. A huge loop for some, Hippo and Pigpen, and would you guess it, no beer, again!

#589 saw 'old farts' appearing out of the woodwork for the 1st Monday run, Hippo's birthday, spring shiggy and the tropical weather. Sonic managed to lay a trail in Strathgyle Wood, Duris that had all those far east veterans wandering quoting the familiar "are You", while the beer was being quaffed by Stainless and Little Shit. Nareyev got Hashit, witnessed by 41 in the circle, Pigpen is a whiz with statistics!

#588 back to Duthie Park with The Envoy, who is rumoured have been caught snogging at 10 in the morning up some lay by (hello Ray from Birmingham). Joy Boy came out of retirement, just in time for the good weather to start! A may have spoken too soon.

#587, in Ellon with the Flyboys, Stainless and Farmer as usual outriding, Hippo storming ahead, beautiful weather (it must be just Aberdeen). Up the road round a hay feld, back to the river and down the old railway.

#586 A f*cking freezing, windswept carpark in Newtonhill and a short but interesting run by a short notice volunteer, E.T. Easter eggs were secreted round the run, if you could be bothered to find them. Oh, and the pub was closed, one small item that was ignored by the hare!

#583 out at Drumtochty Forest, Auchenblae nearly caused the demise of AH3, GM-Sonic, Hash Beer Hippo and other odds and sods of Hashing lowlife (Aids, One Liner, Cinders) were late for the start of the run and arrived to find the Hash well under way. Much recriminations about rules and not being sporting! The beer was found and Sheep Shagger, Royal Flush, Easylife, ET, The Twins & Little Shit enjoyed a drink on the Hares, Alan & Sheens

THE HASH HORN

Recovery Run No. 582

Nethybridge

Sunday March 6, 1994

Hare - FallGuy

How dismal can Aberdeen female hashers get? Sunday morning at 10am saw poor Eric, Ahab, Allister etc. sitting in the Smithy amongst the wreckage of the night before groaning as Julie made too much noise washing up the mountain of dishes. Really, these harriets should be more considerate. It was quite amazing that these brave boys managed to turn out in the sunshine and fresh Nethybridge air for the recovery run. Rose turned out looking ready for a Harrods shopping spree 'Oh I can't run I have a headache'. Er.....What is this throbbing on my shoulders?

So, no messing about, straight into the nominations for the pre run down down.

· Mr. Bluey for wearing the most stupid hat ever seen in the known Universe,

· Allister for bowel venting in the circle and

· Shag Nasty for the worlds most boring card trick ever seen presented the evening before. Boy, I used to think Paul Daniels was a real prick until I saw that performance. Hushed silence, envelope opened by the beautiful Ms. Aids and, no surprise, it goes to Mr. Slight of Hand. He should have sawn his assistant in half, or better still himself.

On-on this way and, as one, the pack leapt off in quest of the beer check which was a bit silly really as it was at the Smithy. Never mind its the journey which counts and not the destination. Now, what with the fine weather, splendid scenery, fabulous terrain and beautiful harriets (trying to recover from paragraph 1 here) it would be hard for the hares to fuck up. You will be relieved to hear that they didn't. Well almost. After floundering through ice cold bog the entire pack was lost in the forest looking for a hint of flour. Hare to the rescue with the aid of his compass and all survived I am delighted to relate.

Back at the Smithy, beer and gluhwine flowing, it becomes apparent that a whole bunch of wimps never left base camp. Boy, standards really are slipping in this hash. The circle formed eager to receive its religious advice and correction. The do-fuck-all of the night before went to two of the said wimps. The first, yn, whinged, spat out half and threw the rest away. The young conservatives are recommended for her future socialising. The second, Yolanda, who had to stand in for the aforementioned Rose. Poor Yolanda, she had only just stated that she was glad she had sung (well squeaked) the night before and didn't have to have a down down. Then we had the prat with the hat, J cloth head or Mr. Bluey for the most absurd apparel ever seen on a hash. Immersion in a lavatory cistem for six months prescribed. Ahab for completing the run with a back pack filled with we know not what. He should have had it for his beautifully unrhyming 'Go hump a camel” verse in the previous evenings Bestialities Best Boys. Caused the entire song to collapse. Shit fer Brains received a surprise award for not g g tackle out for the entire weekend. This of course explains why so many harriets were in tears the evening before. Finally Royal Flush and Easy Life got one simply because there was no one else to accuse of illicit fornication etc. etc. Boy, this hash really scrapes the barrel.

Final score:

Eric's fireball +10

Eric abandoning Andy and Ahab +10

Plenty of flour +5

Same colour as snow -25

Hares use of compass -10

Great bonking +20

Total 10/10

Great weekend. Well done to all concerned.

Those who went:

Adrian ATKINSON Aids

Rhona ATKINSON Cinders

Fiona BICK Fifi

Dick BIRD Sergio

Rose BIRD

Julie BUCHAN The Orienteer

John CARTER JC

Alastair DICKSON Hash Drunk

Martin ELDON Easylife

Maggie ELDON Royal Flush

Dave FOREMAN 4 Skin

Alan GILLESPIE Sir

Sheena GILLESPIE Shirley Valentine

Andy JORDAN S.F.B. (Shit f' Brains)

Ruth LEITH Struth

Robin LEITH One Liner

Andrew MOWAT Fallguy

Karen MOWAT

Martin RICHMOND Sonic

Anne RICHMOND Thruppenny Bits

Kevin ROBSON Shag Nasty

Howard ROPER Hippo

Theresa ROPER Mrs T

Yolande SHAW

Ehab TADROUS The Pharaoh

Erik TORENVLIED Chip 'n Dale

David WILSON Rock-it

Jan WILSON

#581 "can we have our beer back". Stolen from under the Hare's nose by parties unknown. Drill Bit was really pissed off, so was the pack. As usual it was raining and snowing, not necessarily in that order and the waves were crashing over the Stonehaven harbour wall.

#579 Crathes Castle, laid by Victim & Klingon, the day after Little Shit's 40th birthday & Caribbean party. Visitors Sarah Lee & Doggie Style (christened by AH3) down downed for being over sexed, over paid and over hear!

Aberdeen H3

Run No 578

6 Feb 94

Duthies Park

Approximately 15 diehard (stupid) hashers assembled in Duthies Park car park anxiously waiting to start what promised to be a picturesque run around the park and surrounding area. However, the rain was wet, the roads were wet and we were wet even before we started! Still the run would not be that long after the run at the Jock Hash the week before would it? Even though I was not there I had heard certain horror stories whilst waiting for the run to start. The course had been set by Aids, Cinders, and Pink Panther (Mental Note for future excuse preparation) who informed us that the course had been set in two halves and would take 2 1/2 hours to run! Dave "Beaker" Graham (2nd run) was given the pre-run down down for looking the coldest, even though he is a sweaty sock by birth, Swwing lowwww saweet chaaariot etc etc (15 England - 14 Sweaties).

The trail consisted of one switch back and loop after another that made life for the walky talkies simple. The leading group or Magnificent Seven, which consisted of Myself, Beaker, Little Shit, Ron, Graham, Dave Foreskin and Shag Nasty, ended up running for a solid 1 1/2 hours whilst the rest made the occasional guest appearance at sheltered spots.

Dave Foreskin was looking particularly rough and Shag Nasty stank of garlic from the night before. I was privy to a fine display of tactical yakking by Dave Foreskin - simply stop, pretend to do your shoelace up and empty your stomach over the wall...well I think that was what he was doing the three times he stopped to do his laces up. Sheeps Ass was Checkin Chicken who did a sterling job appearing at the beer check from completely the wrong direction.

The run covered most of the roads and lanes listed in the Aberdeen A-Z. They all seemed to be drab and wet, even the flour looked grey. The beer check was only a mile or so from the end.

We stood in the rain drinking the tinnies not bothering to use the shelter afforded by a large bridge just yards from us. As Graham pointed out, it was a good job that there were no virgins on the run as it may have been their last!

The run-in was short and direct, which made a nice change from the rest of the run. There were no down downs or hashit awarded due to the risk of sunburn in the scorching midday/mid-afternoon sun... that is the last thing I remember before I passed out with sun stroke or was it hypothermia? But seriously folks the run was a long and devious one that showed me areas of Aberdeen that I may never have seen and the Ferry bridge pub was nice and warm, it was just a shame about the weather...still I am a softy Southerner.

SWING LOW SWEET CHARIOT, COMING FOR TO CARRY ME HOME.

Adam "Haymarket" Stevens

Those who ran:

Trevor ANCELL Little Shit

Adrian ATKINSON Aids

Rhona ATKINSON Cinders

Bev BROWN Brown Owl

Dave FOREMAN 4 Skin

Sharon GASCOIGNE Sharnie

Sheena GILLESPIE Shirley Valentine

Dave GRAHAM Beaker

Sarah INNES Pink Panther

Andy JORDAN S.F.B. (Shit f' Brains)

John McINNES Michelin Man

Andrew MOWAT Fallguy

Karen THOMSON

Alan RAMSDALE Sheep's Arse

Anne RICHMOND Thruppenny Bits

Kevin ROBSON Shag Nasty

Adam STEVENS Haymarket

Becky STEVENS Hot n Delicious

Ron STRACHAN The Penguin

Greame THAIN Olymprick

Erik TORENVLIED Chip 'n Dale

THE HASH HORN

Aberdeen H3

Run No: 577

30th January, 1994.

"Jock Hash",

Harviestoun Brewery, Dollar.

Hashes represented: Aberdeen, Ass, Cairneyhill, Edinburgh, Elgin, Hamilton, TNT, Trossachs.

AH3 present: Maggie, Chris, Neil, Shag Nasty, Olympric, Little Shit, Julie, Sharnie, Drill Bit, ET, Foreskin, Hank, Hash Drunk, Gordon, Wee Willie, Sheila, Alan, Shit for Brains, and Hot & Delicious.

About 100 hashers assembled at the brewery for midday. Shit for brains gave the pre-run amble, immediately annoying a few hashers (Cairneyhill) and big dogs by refusing to let them (the dogs that is) on the run, worried about sheep shagging during the lambing season (should have told all the Jocks to stay at home!). Pack set off, minus shit for brains, to shouts from the farmer about all the vehicles that were blocking his track, only to be ignored.

First bit of the run involved crossing a waist deep river - Shit for brains should have known better! Hashers may be stupid, but not that stupid. The only non-wimps were all Aberdeen hashers - Little Shit, Sharnie, Shag Nasty, Foreskin, Hank etc. The wimps lead by Drill Bit, managed to cut out a massive loop including the crossing, only to then start to do the trail backwards, lead by Hamilton. The very nice hare (the one left to take the flack that is decided to point out the correct trail (only 'cause there was plenty more of it ahead), and some stability resumed. Only by now, there were a few casualties of the "let's follow Olympric because he doesn't have a f*** of a clue where he's going" type. Hence, Olympric, Adonis, Ross Hall, and co., spent the entire run up the wrong hill, missing beer, crabbies and all (does this remind anyone of last week's run?).

Run meandered on through lots and lots of trees, and shiggy, marsh, water, stream, river, drainage ditch, shiggy, marsh, water, stream, river, drainage ditch, shiggy, marsh...eventually reaching more marsh and an old railway track. The hare arrived at the crabbies check under a bridge to find a lot of baffled hashers (Hamilton did not realise that "crabbies" began with a "C"). The pack regrouped thanks to the crabbies, and then went on its way. At this point some of the pack decided to ignore a check, and go straight back to the brewery. The rest followed a stream under the road, and then up through several back gardens, much to the disgust of one local wifey and her daughter: "you can't come through here, this is a private drainage ditch!". When she confronted the hare as to who had organised this event, the hare suddenly turned into a mute, shrugging shoulders and all responsibility, and ran on leaving threats of convictions behind. The daughter asked Extra Testical why 100's of people were running though their drainage ditch, to which he tactfully replied "for the hell of it!".

From drainage ditch, across a rugby pitch, and around the outside of a golf course (fortunately there were no golfers to annoy). Then came the Munroe, and many exhausted bodies were only too relieved when out of the mist arouse Castle Campbell, and the beer check at last (in the toilets). Having already gone round the trail 3 times, and feeling absolutely knackered, the hare was immediately informed on arriving that they were setting the in trail. Off again, and running all the way through Dollar Glen (which for those who don't know is extremely bonny), and along the river back to the brewery, with the pack hard in pursuit, and just reaching home before the first caught up. The rest were still coming back after 2 1/2 hrs!!!

Down Downs:

RA 1 - Alan Miller (EH3) awarded these to

- a wee lad for doing something

- a Cairneyhill hasher for doing something else

- a Hamilton hasher for the ongoing sager in his love life (for those of you who missed a brilliant weekend in Oban, this fool was found in the telephone box at 2am (pished, of course) declaring his undying love for his sweetheart, and then proposed.) Sequel: they have split up as they had a disagreement. She said "let's save up and buy a house darling"; and he said "let's go and spend our money getting pished"

- The Brewer, for, as usual, showing us all how to do a down down - the hares, for setting such an excellent run

RA 2 - our very own Olympric, who awarded the Hashit awards to

- Alan Miller for wearing a cravat whilst he RA'ed

- Wee Willie for holding up the Aberdeen coach

And then it was on inn to as much beer as could be drank before 4.40pm when we finally got chucked out. The end to a perfect day - those of you who couldn't be arsed to get out of bed definitely missed out.