Raising Confident Kids

Why is it important to have a Growth Mindset?

A growth mindset is the belief that our abilities are always changing, not fixed, and that we are able to improve with hard work and practice. Research by Carol Dweck has shown that children with this type of mindset are more successful in school because they bounce back from failure and do not get stuck in a negative thinking pattern of self defeat. Daily reminders of growth mindset and positive self-affirmations can have life changing results.

"Mistakes are proof you're trying!"

What does a Growth Mindset Look Like?

A person with a growth mindset may do these things:

  • embrace challenges

  • give their best effort

  • learn from feedback

  • become inspired by other people's successes

  • believe their intelligence can change if they work hard

Ways to Help Your Child Develop a Growth Mindset

Talk About It:

Talk with your child about their day, but guide the conversation by asking questions like:

  • Did you make any mistakes today? What did you learn?

  • What did you do that was difficult today?

Praise the Process:

Instead of saying, "You're so smart!" praise effort, goal setting, persisting through challenges or being creative. You can say something like: "Wow, you must have worked really hard on this!"

Encourage Failure:

Your child needs to know that failure can and often does happen and it is okay. Remind them that each time they fail and try again, their brain is growing stronger! Don't step in to prevent your child's failure. This is how they learn to persevere in the face of challenges.

The Brain Can Grow:

Remind your child that their intelligence is not fixed. Remind them that when things are difficult, their brain grows if they persist through the challenge. Each time they learn something new, their brain is making new connections. Your child needs to know this is possible!

Help Them Change Their Dialogue:

Your child's self-talk, or inner dialogue, makes a huge impact on their mindset. If they say, "This is too hard!" or "I can't do this." help them change that to "I can't do this yet, but I will keep trying." Give them the words to say when they are feeling frustrated or defeated by modeling it yourself!

Remember: " The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make a mistake." ~ Elbert Hubbard

Parent Resources:

Growth Mindset South Brunswick Parent Academy Presentation (SBSD)

A few suggestions from The Child Mind Institute:

An except from Ready or Not: Preparing Our Kids to Thrive in an Uncertain World, by Madeline Levine, PhD.

Click here for: Ned's Mindset Mission Show Parent Resources

Growth Mindset Videos for Parents

The Power of Belief - Mindset & Success (TED Talk: Eduardo Briceno, YouTube) A Study on Praise & Mindsets (Trevor Ragan, YouTube)

How to Help Every Child Fulfill Their Potential (Carol Dweck/RSA Animate, YouTube) Growth Mindset Animation (Cameron Lisney, YouTube)

Growth vs. Fixed Mindset (Matthew Metoyer, YouTube)

Children's Videos

This video teaches kids how anxiety is a normal biological response – called “Fight, Flight, Freeze” – that can get triggered inappropriately in the modern world.

2.12 minutes

Sesame Street and Janelle Monae: The Power of Yet

Video explaining “fixed” vs. “growth” mindsets and how they impact learning processes and overall contentment with life.


5 minutes

Bruno Mars sings about the concept of perseverance; the importance in "Never Giving Up."

Growth mindset explained for kids. Episode 1: A Secret about the Brain

Visit https://www.classdojo.com/BigIdeas/ to find the full series and many wonderful resources, including discussion guides for each video! In this five episode video series on Growth Mindset, two monsters named Mojo and Katie explore the different aspects of growth mindset so that teachers and students everywhere can learn about it together in their classrooms! This series has been developed by ClassDojo in collaboration with Stanford University's PERTS lab.

UCLA Center for Child Anxiety Resilience Education and Support (CARES) Director, Dr. Joh...

How Parents Can Help with Child Anxiety

Check out this heart-warming award-winning 3D animated short called "Soar" about a young girl who must help a tiny boy pilot fly home before it"s too late, created by Alyce Tzue

Confidence Building Books for Children

Here are a few books you can read with your child to help them cope with feelings of anxiety, stress and worry, and feeling the need to be perfect:

  • Wilma Jean the Worry Machine, by Julia Cook

  • Penelope’s Amazing Imperfect-People-Eating Machine, by Fourth Grade Students at Village Elementary School in Coronado, CA

  • Priscilla & the Perfect Storm, by Stephie McCumbee

  • Me and My Fear, by Francesca Sanna


Here's a fun book related specifically to working on having a “growth mindset” (i.e. “I can do this!”/”I will keep trying until I succeed”) vs. a “fixed mindset” (i.e. “I’m not smart enough”/”I’ll never learn this”):

  • Bubble Gum Brain, by Julia Cook

For suggestions of other books you can read at home with your child on Relationship Skills, Assertion, Perseverance and Academic Mindset, check out a few of my favorite ones here.