Students at SMS are taught to use some of the following strategies to mediate their own peer conflicts. If the student's attempts at mediation are unsuccessful, a school staff member can step in and help support.
Students are taught that we all have different values, and so make decisions differently. Using the Stop, Think, Go decision making model, students can take a pause to weigh consequences and consider how they want to proceed forward in dealing with a difficult situation with a peer.
Students are taught to use I- Messages to advocate for what they need in tricky situations. A basic I- Message format is:
I feel ____________ when ______________________ happens, and I need __________________________.
An I- Message is more powerful when it is not used to blame a peer, but when it is truly based on the feelings and needs of the speaker.
When a peer conflict between students cannot be resolved by the students themselves, staff members may step in. Staff members at the school strive to use a restorative model in mediating peer conflicts. A restorative model would allow both students to be heard, with a focus on repairing the relationship.
SMS No Drama Rules
SMS 5th graders have been learning about ways to keep social drama from impacting their experience at school. See the tips in the graphic on the side.
Healthy and Unhealthy Friendships
Helping children understand healthy and unhealthy patterns in a friendship can be helpful when talking to children about friendship challenges.
Size of the Problem Charts
Talking to children about how big their problem is allows them to understand how to scale their reaction. It is okay to have a big feeling about a small problem, as long as their outward reaction matches the size of the problem.
Second Step Problem Solving Steps