Empathy is one of those things that we all feel like we know what it is but it can be really challenging to describe and to teach kids. Here is a video for parents/guardians that can help!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw
In order to have empathy for others, we first need to understand ourselves:
We need to understand our own feelings. (See attached feelings wheel on the next page.)
We need to understand that what we are thinking affects how we are feeling and how we are feeling affects our behavior and the cycle continues.
When we can understand these processes in ourselves, we can then translate that understanding to others. When we can imagine how someone else is feeling and connect our own sense of that feeling with theirs, we experience empathy.
We can use this model to help kids work through friendship issues:
For example, if a student is thinking, “I don’t like that kid at all!”, he may be feeling angry and his behavior may be to act in a mean way towards that other student and it may drive disconnection.
If we help a student change his thinking, “I don’t like that kid’s behavior but I understand he was having a hard day, he may feel empathy and he may choose to say to the student, “I didn’t like it when you talked bad about me. I understand you were having a hard day. Next time, can you please just talk to me about why you were mad?”
If you would like to further your student’s understanding around these topics, and for ideas on ways to practice empathy in general, here are additional resources for teachers and families:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tP4gLX8FBDA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwAYpLVyeFU
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/childrens-books-empathy-kindness_l_5d52e7b1e4b0c63bcbee2699
https://seattle.bibliocommons.com/list/share/1031240387/1040068687
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQuM5e0QGLg&t=139s
Book recommendations to promote discussion about empathy and differences:
Wonder by R. J. Palacio
Just Ask! by Sonia Sotomayor and Rafael Lopez
We are all Wonders by R. J. Palacio