Interview

When interviewing my grandmother, I learned more about her journey to the United States than ever before. I never really asked my grandmother about her experience because I never thought about it. When interviewing her, I asked about why she came to the United States and how immigration and Mexican culture influenced her decisions as an adult.

Carina: Whose decision was it to leave Mexico?

Alicia: Well my dad was already in the United States for two years and he wanted us to to come with him so that we could have a better life. My dad's nephews were able to sponsor us and that is how we got to Detroit.

C: Do you remember when and how you came?

Al I was somewhere between the age of 7 or 9 years old and my family and I came on the Greyhound bus. I can't remember if we brought the bus all the way or if we took the bus from Monterrey to Texas and then take a train from Texas to Detroit.

C: Who did you come with and who did you leave behind?

A: I came with my mom, my sister, and two brothers. We left our other family that was still there.

C: What were your parents' hopes and dreams for your new life here?

A: Well they wanted us to have a better future. My siblings and I were still young and they wanted us to have a better life.

C: Did your parents go to school?

A: No, they did not finish school.

C: What was the most difficult part about leaving Mexico?

A: Leaving. I had to experience something new.

C: How did you feel when you came to the US?

A: I was scared. [laugh] I saw snow for the first time and it was so cold. I had never been that cold. Everyone spoke English and I didn't know the language.

C: What school did you go to and how was your experience there?

A: I went to Webster. My dad's cousin found the school and enrolled us there. They had people that spoke Spanish and English and they would help tutor the kids. I learned English when I started school. I remember the lady that helped me, her name was Ester Mauricio. She taught me English.

C: Would you consider the way you learned Egnlish, similar to ESL (English as a Second Language)?

A: No, it was different. It was different from Mexico too. I was still getting used to something different and I didn't get help for that.

C: Did you ever feel like you didn't belong?

A: A little bit because most of the people didn't speak Spanish. Well, I did live in an area where people spoke Spanish and the school I went to helped me. Outside of that, I did feel out of place.

C: How did you assimilate to the United States:

A: It took me a little while. I tried to get used to the school which was mostly English speaking. Time helped. I had to get used to it.

C: What do you miss most about Mexico:

A: The house where I lived. It was a little house but it had a big yard around the house. There were lots of places to play. The neighbors were so nice. We would walk everywhere because we had no car. Our neighbor would help us because they had a big truck since they sold fruit. They would also take us camping with the truck.

C: Where in Mexico did you live?

A: We lived in Monterrey, Nuevo Leon. It was a big city.

C: What was it like becoming a citizen?

A: [laughs] it took me a long time. It's been about 15 to 20 years since I got it. I didn't do it right away because I was lazy. [laughs]

C: How many times have you visited Mexico since you moved to Detroit?

A: I haven't been in a while but I went often as a kid. I still went after I got married. Your Hito [husband] took me to Treviño to meet his family. We would go whenever he got laid off which was about every other year.

C: Would you want to go again?

A: Just to visit. I would want to go to Mexico City so I can see the Basilica that has la Virgen de Guadalupe. I would go with your tia [aunt] Anna to Guadalajara and San Ignacio for las fiestas because they celebrate the Virgen in September. And to see my cousins who are still alive in Monterrey. I haven't gone because they told me it's bad there.

C: Do you think immigration has changed you in any way?

A: No

C: Did you have a hard time figuring out your identity as an immigrant?

A: No

C: Is there anything you would like to add to this?

A: Your Hito came to the US the same year as me but we came at a different month. It was 1954. He worked in California as a field worker picking fruit. He stayed there for a while and then moved to Detroit when his cousin got him a job. At home, we had our kids speak Spanish because mama [mother] wouldn't want them to forget it and because she didn't speak English. I wish that some of the grandkids picked up on Mexican culture like Dia de Los Muertos and Independence Day. Even if they studied Mexican culture. I wished that my kids went to college but they went the wrong way. Your dad and Norma did something good because they continued studying. Your dad took classes to be a mechanic and Norma went to Michigan but dropped out. I wish they could have had a professional career, but they still studied. I am very proud of them and through time the other kids were able to get things going. I wished I pushed my grandkids more to continue with their studies then maybe they would have done something. My mom didn't push me to get an education so I dropped out in tenth grade. School was hard and I didn't have the power to keep saying I can do it. My parents were very supportive and my dad wanted the family to be close and have good things. Hito didn't complete school and he never pushed the kids. My dad was also stuck with traditional gender roles so he thought being at home was more important for me. Your Hito wasn't there a lot either so I didn't have help pushing the kids to do better. I think that is why he was so close to you and your sisters, especially Genoveva.

I have always had a very close relationship with my parents so I already had an idea of how my dad would reply. He has always been a proud man, which I would say definitely passed down to me.

Carina: What was your childhood like?

Gilberto: It was fine, normal. In elementary and middle school I was told not to speak Spanish and only speak English. It was kind of confusing because I only spoke Spanish at home.

C: Do you know when your parents moved to the US?

G: Not really. I know Hita [mother] was still a kid.

C: What part of Mexican culture did you grow up with?

G: The music, dancing, food.

C: Were any Mexican gender norms instilled on you and your siblings?

G: No, no gender norms. We all helped in the kitchen and I would help grandma in the kitchen. The girls were told to clean up but I don't know if that was because of gender. I liked being outside and doing gardening so I never had a problem helping outside.

C: What was language like at home and outside of the home?

G: Well Hito [dad] only spoke in Spanish so we would speak to him in Spanish. We would talk to Hita [mom] in Spanish and English but as we got older, we would speak to her in English. My grandma only spoke in Spanish and didn't like when we talked in English. I talked in English and Spanish outside. I never noticed if people looked at me if I spoke Spanish. There were a few times I would feel embarrassed to speak in Spanish but that was only around people who spoke better Spanish than me. I lived in an area where a lot of Spanish speakers lived at too so it wasn't anything uncomfortable.

C: What was school like?

G: I guess the language was the only thing. I was told that I was there to learn English. In high school, I went to Western International and it was a mixed school so a lot of Hispanics were there.

C: Did you ever feel out of place?

G: No because I didn't care. I still don't.

C: Did you ever feel out of place when you came to visit Saint Mary's?

G: No! I knew that you and your sister were there to break barriers. I was proud, I didn't care.

C: Did you have a hard time figuring out your identity as a son of two immigrants?

G: No. I knew I was Mexican-American and I still have roots my Mexican roots because of my upbringing.

C: Is there anything that makes you feel out of place? For example, too Mexican or too American?

G: No, I never felt that.

C: When you were in Mexico, did you feel out of place? G: No.

C: Have you ever felt out of place in Detroit?

G: No, because the neighborhood had a lot of Spanish speaking people and the majority of the people I met were friendly and accepting.

C: What do you consider home to be?

G: The house that we live in. Our neighborhood. We established roots here and your mom and I have been here our entire life. We never really left the street that we live on now. We've been living in our house since before you were born.

C: Have you ever felt displaced as a firs-generation Mexican-American?

G: Not really other than being in dangerous places where I didn't feel safe.

C: What part of Mexican culture do you think you have instilled in your daughters?

G: I would say keeping our faith and the culture. I hope they keep the food and the strong connection to family.

C: Is there anything else you would like to add?

G: Just that we can feel the gentrification coming into the neighborhood now that Detroit is rebounding. White people are moving back in and it sometimes feels a bit uncomfortable.

I have always had issues figuring out my identity especially in my neighborhood and at Saint Mary's College. I knew I was Mexican-American but I never felt like I fit in. I only grew up with my paternal grandparents because they were the only ones who were alive. My grandpa talked in Spanish but would always try to keep a conversation going with my sisters and me. My grandma always talked in English except when she talked to my grandpa. I spoke English at home and all of my cousins didn't speak Spanish. Now here is the plot twist, I grew up only speaking Spanish. I didn't learn English until my parents realized that I couldn't communicate with my cousins because I had no idea what they were saying and they never understood a word that came out of my mouth. That was my first moment of feeling displaced without me knowing it. I was just there, not knowing what was going on. I eventually learned English and then only spoke that. I forgot my Spanish. That wasn't an issue because almost everyone in my family spoke English. Problem solved! Well, not really.

I got to elementary school and middle school and felt so out of place. Everyone around me were either immigrants or their parents were immigrants. Everyone looked at me weirdly because my parents were born in the United States and I didn't speak Spanish at home. I was bullied because of this. Talk about displacement, am I right? I feel like my entire life has been me feeling displaced. I was never around other second-generation Mexican-Americans which made me feel left out. Since I lost my Spanish, I couldn't understand what other kids were saying. I was made fun of because I lost my Spanish. I failed my Spanish classes in middle school and was not offered any tutoring because the only tutoring they had was for ESL students. Clearly, I was not an ESL student.

In high school, I had a similar problem. I was not being bullied or made fun of, but I still did not feel like I was fitting in. I was the only Mexican at my school that didn't speak Spanish at home and didn't have immigrant parents. The friends I made never made me feel bad about it, but the awkwardness was palpable whenever I met my friends' parents. I did not feel as displaced as I did when I was younger, but I still felt like I did not belong. I never really acknowledged my Mexican heritage because I was always seen as the "white girl". I did not see a point in even trying to acknowledge that side of me. I did not have my first real taco from a taco truck until I was a sophomore in high school because I wanted to impress the guy I liked. That's when I embraced my Mexican heritage, but I tried too hard. It was like my main characteristic was being Mexican. Even though I tried everything possible to fit in, I still felt like an outsider.

Once I came to Saint Mary's, I was then too Mexican to fit in. I didn't have a hard time finding my community and that was due to the Belles Connect Program. Those a part of the program were first-generation college students, homeschooled, or international students. There was something different about all of us that and that is what connected me to these students. Although I found my community, I was constantly stared at by white students whenever I would speak in Spanish, talk about my family heritage, or even just be present.

The hardest part about that experience was that I still did not know who I was. I didn't find my identity until I took my first heritage Spanish class. My professor helped me realize that even though I am a second-generation Mexican-American, I still belong and that is what makes me unique. I do not have to prove my Mexicanness or Americanness to anyone. I do not have to speak perfect Spanish. I am me.

I realized that everything that made me different at Saint Mary's is because of my parents and grandparents. They sacrificed so much for me to get to this part of my life and to receive an education that they were not privileged enough to have. I finally realized that I did not have to prove anything to anyone. I built a stronger relationship with my dad and grandmother so that I could learn more about my Mexican heritage which you could say has consumed my identity, but I am still as much American as anyone else. I no longer feel displaced. I feel like I belong. I have done so much to prove to people that I belong, but this past year I have more than enough to prove to myself that I belong. I am a proud granddaughter of immigrants and I am a proud first-generation college graduate daughter of first-generation Mexican-Americans. Everything I do now is not to prove to people anything, but to show my grandmother and parents that everything they have done has been worth it.