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Ava Yau
November 25, 2024
Essay 2, Draft 1
Five Core Values for Having a Good Life
Life Value Number One: Be Kind to Everyone
To have a good life, it is important to understand that everyone has their own story. Every individual has gone through hardships and challenges that typically go unnoticed by others. Being kind is a simple act that can brighten someone's day or make whatever they are going through even a little easier. Ever since I was little, my Mom instilled this value in me, reminding me that a little bit of kindness goes a long way. Growing up she was a single mother raising two kids while attending nursing school. She worked two jobs and we got by with help from family. She told me a story that I will never forget. One day her car broke down and needed to be repaired, but we certainly didn't have that kind of money. Someone must have overheard her at the counter expressing how she couldn't pay, next thing you know someone anonymously paid for the work needed. Whoever paid that day didn't know who we were, what we had been through, or how important that car was to our day-to-day life. But they saw a struggling mother and decided to lend a helping hand out of the kindness of their heart. Fast forward 10 years and we were doing a lot better than before. My mom's friend called her expressing that she didn't know how she could pay for her car that was in the shop. Oddly enough she was also a single mother raising kids of her own. So my mom called the dealership and anonymously paid for the cost. This showed me that kind acts have a ripple effect, what comes around goes around.
Ways We Can Spread Kindness:
Take a minute to walk in someone else's shoes. There have been countless times that I judge the way someone acts. I then remind myself that they may be fighting their own battles and just need a helping hand.
Express gratitude to the people you love. It's easy to overlook how important people like family and friends are in your life. I find that it is always when I'm lonely or need the people I care about most when I realize how special they are to me. Simply thanking them for all that they do goes a long way.
Give without expecting. I think the key factor to spreading kindness is doing it because you truly want to. Being selfless and being kind go hand in hand.
Life Value Number Two: Learn to Live in the Moment
There is no point in dwelling on the past or worrying about what the future will bring. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and work to better ourselves in the present. It’s important to appreciate the little things in life because they can disappear at any moment. My Mommom is one of the strongest people I know, she taught me that stressing won't change outcomes in life and to just take it one day at a time. To gain a deeper understanding, I spoke with my Mommom, I asked her what the biggest difficulty in her life was and how she overcame it. She told me that she was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of forty-eight and it was the scariest time of her life. After surviving breast cancer she learned “to let go of things that are not important and to just be happy for each day.” She overcame a life-threatening illness and is now one of the most caring and free people I know. She showed me that true happiness lies in the present and to appreciate each day for what it is.
Ways to Live in the Moment:
Put your phone away. We spend so much time on our phones that it distracts us from life. By simply putting our phones down, we become more aware of our surroundings, opening up opportunities for more experiences. I get stuck scrolling through my phone for hours when I could be doing something more productive.
Embrace imperfection. Life isn't supposed to be perfect, challenges and obstacles are normal. Sometimes I find myself waiting for things to be perfect or pan out the way I want them to when I should just be accepting how life is in the moment.
Life Value Number Three: Don’t Compare Your Life to Others
It’s easy to look at someone's life and start comparing it to yours. Especially in today’s world where people can share their lives on social media. People post the great parts of their lives for everyone to see but leave out all the bad parts. This leads to comparison and thinking that what you have or how you live is not good enough. The truth is that no one's life is as perfect as it may seem. To be happy and live a good life it’s essential to focus on your personal growth and success. In Elizabeth Berg's essay, “The Day I Ate Everything I Wanted,” she reflects on her experiences with comparing herself with others. Berg, who struggles with her weight, compares herself with the Dunkin Donuts worker, she writes, “Anyway, her fat looked good, truly, every now and then you see a person who wears fat well, it is that tight fat that looks kind of delicious and also their attitude is just in your face.” In other words, Berg is comparing her body to the woman's observing that she seems confident and looks good. However, Berg is unaware of how the woman truly feels about herself on the inside. This shows how easy it is to make assumptions about another person's life and compare it to yours.
Ways to Stop Comparing:
After talking with my Poppop he gave me good advice on how to not compare my life with others. He told me that it is important for everyone to figure out what happiness looks like for them and then work towards achieving goals. Happiness is something that varies from person to person, what fulfills someone might not do the same for another. Taking time to figure out what it is that you want in life allows people to stop focusing on others and prioritize themselves. Deciding what it is I want in my life allowed me to stop comparing myself to others and accept that everyone is different.
Life Value Number Four: Do What Makes YOU Happy
In life, there are always going to be people who judge or disagree with what you do. No matter what it is people will have their opinions, being able to look past that and do what feels right for yourself is key to living a good life. When I chose to go to nursing school some people were very proud of me and others told me it wasn't a smart choice. I was told nurses don't get paid enough, the work is too hard, I'll get sick of it one day, and so much more. But I knew that it was something I was passionate about and it was a choice that I was proud of. Everyone has a different version of what happiness is and it is important not to let others influence that. In the story “The Princess and The Zucchini, by Audrey Thomas, the main character, Princess Zona, demonstrates this topic perfectly. As a princess Zona is expected to live a certain way, however, instead of conforming to society's expectations she decides to make her own decisions and do what makes her happy. The only person whose happiness matters is your own.
Ways To Prioritize Happiness:
Set boundaries. When I find that other people’s opinions are getting in the way of doing something that makes me happy boundaries always help. I’ve learned over time that it is okay to say no to people who don't support me or my happiness.
Embrace Authenticity. When I am being myself I am always the most comfortable and happy. It's not always easy to ignore other's judgment or criticism but by accepting who I am it became a lot easier.
Life Value Number Five: Keep Family Close
My family are the people that I know I can rely on no matter what. They have seen me at my best and worst and loved me the same through both. Family provides unconditional love which is something that I think is important for everyone to have in life. My family has shaped the values, morals, and rules that I live by. Without them, I don't know where I would be today.
Ways to Build Connections Like Family:
When forming relationships with people in my life I find that it takes time more than anything. With time there will be opportunities to be a good friend, partner, family member, etc. It’s important not to stay around people who bring you down or do not have your best interest at heart. This will also show over time.
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