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Katelyn Volchok, Aaron Long, Jessabel Ariota
Our Goal:
During middle childhood - early adolescence aka the “pre-teen” years, kids are juggling complex emotions and learning how to cope with “mixed feelings”. The saying “practice makes perfect” can really help to ensure that your preteen practices all the coping skills needed to comprehend and respond appropriately to complex emotions. The goal of this project is to relieve the anxiety in parents by understanding their children as individuals through the context of symptoms of stressors, what you as a parent can learn to help your child, and de-stressing techniques. This site will show you how to help your pre-teen when stressors arise.
Developmental Science:
The purpose of developmental science is to explore the constant change of emotion, self, identity, gender, personality, and more. The causes of developmental change have to do with the nature and nurture of the environment, as well as understanding how and why humans change over time. It helps parents and caregivers understand what to expect during the different stages of development and provides insight into how to best support their growth. With our project, we hope to guide parents in the right direction when it comes to pre-teen stress levels and help them to understand approaches to better fit the needs of their child when it comes to forming a healthy self-identity. It is important to understand that our site promises to give guidance, but even if they take all the advice being given, it still might not ensure a perfect relationship with their child. However, we hope that parents view our site as an inviting source full of information and tips that allow them to engage appropriately for their child and situation.
Some signs to look out for when your pre-teen might be experiencing a big load of stress include:
Moodiness, irritability, trouble sleeping, change in appetite, low desire to do activities, academic struggles, social isolation, abrupt changes in behaviors.
The dangers of media!
Being a parent and managing your children when they are interacting with the digital world has a lot of complexities. You want your child to be able to express themselves in the media and feel like they have that freedom, however, you don’t want them to be exposed to the toxic world, that is, the media that we all have experienced. Looking out for your kids' online safety is important, so setting clear rules and understanding, while monitoring them gently, and even educating them on the risks that the digital world has to offer (e.g., cyberbullying, scams) can be beneficial tools in this process.
First, check in with yourself!
Being in tune with yourself is important because it allows you to have a clear understanding of your own thoughts, feelings and values, before offering advice to others. It allows you to approach stressful situations with authenticity and offer valuable advice to your child.
There are multiple ways to practice this! Some include:
Self care
Meditation
Yoga
Remember, you are doing great being a parent!
Click this video for a quick meditation practice!
Now you are ready to be present for your pre-teen!
Here is some background knowledge we know from psychological theorists and how they link to your pre-teen:
Psychological Approach:
Erik Erikson: Social forces that shape self reflect shifting cultural expectations (micro-macro socialization interaction). This can be useful to help your child build healthy coping mechanisms and validate their feelings and remind them that asking for help is not a negative experience. Helping teens feel safe and understood will reduce their stress levels in themselves.
Urie Bronfrenbrenner’s contextualist meta-theory to encourage the idea that: Behavior emerges from interactions between children (as unique biological entities) and contexts (defined at varying levels of specificity). According to Bronfrenbrenner, individuals are being influenced by different systems that are all connected. For example, their microsystem, mesosystem, exosystem, and macrosystem. This theory can be applied by parents. Helping to engage with the exosystem can be an outlet for stress, whether that is participating in community activities or trying to collaborate with other aspects of the system.
Erik Eriksons' Stages of Development
Urie Bronfrenbrenner's Ecological Systems
Emotional Regulation & Development:
Understanding the development of emotions is important because it is both simple and complex. Basic emotions are universal and include feelings like happiness, sadness, and fear. Complex emotions are culturally relative and experienced in a socio-cultural context. Shame and guilt are some examples of these emotions. Being able to regulate emotions and control your body directly relates to your social engagement opportunities. With more repitition and practice, complex emotions become more familiar and easier to regulate.
Steps to follow ✔️
Here are some tips to helping manage the stress of your pre-teen:
Have a conversation with them.
Sit back and listen, then offer advice. Let them feel like they are being fully heard.
Allow them to express their emotions.
Engage in some play with your child, like a fidget toy or do something that they love to do, creating a safe space to talk.
Invite them to participate in a self-care practice (hygeine day, yoga, meditation).
Provide a sense of secure attatchment. It predicts better stress reactions and lower anxiety in adolesence.
When pre-teens find a strong sense of self, it can allow them to be more resilient when facing their everyday stressors.
Some examples of this include; self-awareness, self-acceptance, setting boundaries, and problem solving skills.
Revolving around these topics can help your pre-teen approach stressors and set them up for better stress management when entering their teenage years.
Output and Goals: The final product
Secure attachment: ensuring that children from an early age have a solid support system to fall back on ensures that in later years, kids will look to close friends and loved ones for help
Also predicts better stress reactions, low anxiety in adolescence
Goodness of Fit: educating parents in that not all kids are born the same, and that different children with different temperament will respond differently to the same parenting styles
Parental Leadership: teaching parents that being a strong support system that can step in when their child is in distress while continuing to be a mentor and a leader makes a huge difference
Confidence: letting parents know that they are capable of weathering the storm that is the roller-coaster of good days and bad days, and sharing the tips and tricks to help build confidence
Katelyn Volchok
Pacific University
Year: Senior
Major: Psychology
Minor: Psychological Health & Well-being
Interests: soccer, sports, yoga, hiking, photography, graphic design, traveling.
Jessabel Ariota
Pacific University
Year: Senior
Major: Psychology
Minor: Psychological Health & Well-being
Interests: Chasing sunsets, hanging out with family and friends, making people laugh.
Aaron Long
Pacific University
Year: Senior
Major: Psychology
References
Dobbs, D. (2014, February 19). The Science of Success. The Atlantic. https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/12/the-science-of-success/307761/
Levine, L. E., & Munsch, J. (2021). Child development: An active learning approach. SAGE Publications, Inc.
The Partnership In Education. (2021, January 12). The 5-4-3-2-1 method: a grounding exercise to manage anxiety[Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30VMIEmA114
Veazey, K. (2022, May 3). Why emotional self-regulation is important and how to do it. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/emotional-self-regulation#how-it-develops
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