What happens when you don't know where home is? A third-culture kid's experience with cultural identity and coming of age.

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Developments in global travel and technology have disassembled geographical barriers between countries and produced an interconnected world. Increase in the mobility of foods, services and labour has led to an increase in the globalization of the world economy as well as the intertwine of many cultures and ideas over the past few decades. According to the International Telecommunication Union, about 4.1 billion people or 53.6% of the global population are connected to the Internet. That number is outrageously large compared to 8% of the global population in 2001 who were connected to the Internet. For those of us who have grown up with the Internet, it’s hard to imagine a life without it. With the increase in internet connectivity over the past decades, it has made it very easy for people to communicate across the world. With an increase in globalization of the economy, many companies set up businesses abroad. Many corporate employees, missionaries, diplomats, military and government workers have joined the growing expatriate community. Many children have followed their parents and moved from one country to the next. These children are often called third culture kids or global nomads.

Before World War II, many places in the world were monocultural communities. Children were able to develop their identity in one place and often felt a sense of belonging to their own community. In a span of a few decades, a lot more people have grown up with multiple cultures. According to the U.S. Bureau of Consular Affairs, an estimated 9 million US citizens live overseas in 2020. And it is predicted to be even higher by others! Many of them could be third-culture kids. That's a lot of TCK Americans living abroad. The term “third-culture” and “third-culture kids” or TCKs was first established in the 1950s by prominent sociologists and anthropologists John and Ruth Hill-Useem when they observed American families in India. They described it as American citizens who are living abroad. They are also considered the founder of TCK research and made observations on expatriate communities, overseas schools and third culture kids in 76 countries.

Sociologist David C. Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken (2010) more recently described a Third Culture Kid as

A person who has spent significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents’ culture. The TCK builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture are assimilated into the TCK’s life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background. (1)

Instead of creating the traditional identity with your parent’s culture or the countries you are from, third-culture kids create a “third-culture” that is unique to TCKs all around the world.

Since third-culture kids grow up in so many different socioeconomic, racial, ethnic and academic backgrounds, is there a set of characteristics that is common to all TCKs? Many researchers notice that third culture kids do share many characteristics no matter where they grew up in. TCKs interact deeply with the host culture and the culture their parents share with them. Many TCKs learn the language of the host country in everyday life or school. They often travel back and forth between their home and host culture. Thus, the TCK lifestyle is extremely mobile. Most parents expect their children or family to move back to their home country eventually. Many parents choose to send their kids to international schools based on these choices.

Many TCKs are able to develop a larger understanding of different cultures and worldviews. They may develop social skills that help them interact with different types of people. US adolescents who live overseas rate themselves more culturally accepting, more interested in foreign languages and travel and want to have an international lifestyle in the future (Gerner al., 1992) . This is because these adolescents are often children of expats. Expats are often expected to develop relationships with locals for work. Children of these expats see the intimate relationship between their parents and the local culture and may do the same with their peers. They are more open to learning the host country’s language and are more accepting of different cultures.

My parents have always made sure I learnt how to speak their native languages. However, is a multilingual upbringing helpful or confusing to a child? There has been a lot more research on the effects of multilingualism on bilingual children in the past decade. A huge population of third culture-kids are multilingual. According to psycholinguists Jean-Marc Dewaele and Jan Pieter Van Oudenhoven (2009), multilingual TCKs scored higher on "openmindedness" and "cultural empathy", but they scored lower on "emotional stability” compared to TCKs who only know their first language, non-TCKs and incipient learners (those who learn a foreign language in a classroom settings). Those who learn the language first-hand have the opportunity to develop meaningful experiences and relationships with host cultures. However, there might be some difficulties in language learning for TCKs during childhood. Third culture kids may learn and converse in one language at school, but use a different one at home. This might be challenging for children’s schooling as parents might not be able to help with homework. Moreover, even though the children may communicate in their mother tongue at home, they do not have the vocabulary skills for higher education in their home country if they return.

Identity development could especially be more difficult for TCKs and biracial children. One of the most well-known developmental psychologists, Erik Erikson developed a theory of psychosocial development. One of the stages is “identity vs. role confusion” during the adolescence age (12-19 years). According to Erikson (1965),

One of the main psychological functions of a sense of identity is to provide a sense of inner self-sameness and continuity, to bind together the past, the present, and the future into a coherent whole; and the first task of adolescence and early adulthood is the achievement of identity. ... he must make his own unique synthesis of the often incompatible models, identifications, and ideals offered by society. the more incompatible the components from which the sense of identity must be built and the more uncertain the future for which one attempts to achieve identity, the more difficult the task becomes. (211)

It is often assumed that everyone goes through this series of eight stages. Everyone from different generations, gender, socio-economic and racial backgrounds. But identity is a broad term that is influenced by many external factors.

Coming-of-age can be seen as an adolescent taking his or her experiences and molding it into something continuous. Searching for a sense of self and identity is common to all adolescents. If this stage is not achieved, there may be unresolved difficulties in future stages. But with TCKs, it might be more difficult for them to find this “inner self-sameness and continuity” because of their multiple cultural identities. Moreover, Erik Erikson’s well-known theory of identity development often focuses heavily on sexual identity and occupational identity in adolescence, and stresses the idea that adolescence would want to explore many different options. But aren't there more aspect of identity that are important to teens? For TCKs and biracial kids, sexual identity and occupational identity may just be another factor of coming-of-age that they may be challenged with. Coming-of-age for TCKs might factor in many more aspects, such as cultural and place identity. Growing up in a multicultural environment might be a challenge in identity development as there might not be one set place they can call home or one culture they identify with. Through their experiences living in multiple backgrounds, TCKs and biracial children navigate their identity with different factors, including globalization, nationality and culture.

Is it time for us to develop a new identity development model focused on cultural identity? As more and more people grow up with a multicultural upbringing, we should seriously consider and explore cultural identity as an important stage. Because most research is conducted within a small group of TCKs with similar experiences, it is difficult to assess all TCK as a whole. It may be beneficial to have sub-categories to identify TCKs. The discussion of how their upbringing affects their cultural identity is debated by many sociologists and psychologists. Many of the current research done on third-culture kids have been conducted and explored by academics who were third-culture kids themselves or have grown up in a multicultural background. Thus, many explore very specific aspects of the third-culture kid lifestyle, so there are contradicting research on both sides of the spectrum. Dr. Kathleen Gilbert, who has extensive research on loss and grief, believes that there is unresolved grief and losses from a lack of constancy in TCKs’ lives. TCKs who had negative transitions in the past also had a harder time transitioning into another environment in the future (Hervey, 2009). But others view the third-culture kids lifestyle as having a more perfect multicultural identity. In a 2012 study titled “Confused or multicultural: Third culture individuals’ cultural identity,” sociologists Moore and Baker found that third culture individuals are more likely to adapt a multicultural identity than a confused cultural identity. From their research, they noticed that most of the third-culture individuals they observed either had a blended cultural identity (like a hybrid) or multiple cultural identities that they shifted between. They conclude that it is possible for someone to keep their own home culture, adopt a new one and alternate between the two easily.

However, this perfect experience and growth might not be the case for many TCKs. Because TCKs could have lived in a more diverse and multicultural environment in the past, when they move to a more monocultural environment, they have a higher chance of facing prejudice. Minority TCKs may encounter prejudice they aren't used to when they return to their origin culture. (Melles & Schwartz, 2013). From an interview and questionnaire I conducted, I found out that all my respondents had struggled with their cultural identity at some point in their lives. Most of them have left their home or passport country before they can form a sense of cultural identity. Some stated that others might try to put a label on their identity but none of the labels accurately describe their identity. One college freshman at Azusa Pacific University who had grown up in the U.S. and Asia answered that she “didn’t want to claim other people’s cultures even when that culture has been a huge part of (her) identity.” The local community might also judge them based on a small part of the TCKs’ identity - their passport country. My non-Asian friends are definitely seen differently from others in Hong Kong. Some of them have lived in Hong Kong for most of their lives, but their upbringing is very different from the upbringing of another kid from Hong Kong. Even though there are no geographical barriers, there are many cultural obstacles. Their parents may be from one culture, their surroundings may be from another culture and their school may be of a third culture.

Others claimed their lesser knowledge of cultural references or norms caused difficulty in connecting with others and brought challenges to repatriation to their home country. The lack of knowledge of cultural norms can hinder a student in academic or social settings. Since some of them move every few years, leaving friends behind is also not uncommon. Many of my classmates moved to other countries and I promised to keep in touch with them as they moved on to Singapore or to Korea or back to the States. But those promises were never really kept except for Facebook friend requests. Some may not even feel the need to make new friends when they move to a new place. Having failed many long term relationships, a TCK might feel isolated.

As cultures become more interconnected, there may also be conflicts. In a broader sense, when people combine cultures together in society, it is likely that some cultures could be erased. This is seen in Cambodia. The Khmer culture of Cambodia is slowly disappearing because of the adoption of Theravada Buddhism. In a smaller sense, some TCKs may feel forced to choose between two cultures. They may have to abandon some of their personal identities to assimilate into another culture. This could be worsened for TCKs who belong to conflicting cultures. There may be years of deep rooted hatred between cultures that a TCK may belong to. Ethnic minorities may suffer racial or ethnic discrimination. TCK immigrants who are marginalized or discriminated are more likely to experience the disadvantage to this high-mobile life. These feelings of grief and loss from transitions and loss of control can lead to higher levels of depression, hostility and suicide (Jensen, Arnett & Mckenzie).

Society may categorize and label TCKs as outsiders. In Japan, third culture kids are known as kikokushijo. In 1966, the Japanese Ministry of Education noticed that overseas Japanese who have returned back to the country had a hard time assimilating to Japanese schools and they were called "educational orphans" (Podolsky, 2004). In the media, they were seen as "poor children in need of rescuing" and had a negative reputation. They were seen as too Westernized and had to be readjusted to Japanese society. As society started to value globalization, the negative reputations of kikokushijo have greatly improved since the 1980s and are now seen by some as more “elite.” But, these children who have returned from overseas might be considered a hidden immigrant as they look the same as everyone else, but their upbringing, cultural identity and education might be very different. Children who return to their home countries may feel a reverse cultural shock and question their sense of belonging.

Interacting with others who share similar experiences is often comforting for TCKs. A military kid who has lived in Italy, Japan and Venezuela and the missionary kid who has lived in South Africa and Mongolia might have some common similarities even though they lived in different places. They both share the common theme of a high-mobile and cross-cultural life. Looking at this connection that many third-culture kids share is important, international schools and colleges should focus on making that connection possible. At first, I was curious to see if there were more benefits or disadvantages to being a third-culture kid. But there will always be advantages and disadvantages depending on the circumstances, and the more important aspect is to find out the best programs, parenting style and education for third culture kids.

When students first move to a new country, it is important that parents and students understand the school’s resources (Limberg & Lambie, 2011). For example, school counselors can host student-family meetings, check-ins with the student and provide teachers with student’s needs. Faculty training on multicultural issues can also be really helpful. Educational policy professional Lesley Bartlett, Mary Mendenhall and Ameena Ghaffar-Kucher (2017) did a study on refugee students in a New York City international school. The study found that different cultures and languages should be celebrated at school. Schools can use diversity as a way to promote a sense of acceptance and safety. Even though it was important for students to assimilate to American culture in the NYC school, it was also important to embrace student’s own cultures so that they wouldn’t feel conflicted about choosing one over another. It is important for a student to be able to express their cultural identity and celebrate past experiences.

Having assemblies where students can participate in cultural performances, cook different foods and explore different cultural artworks sounds like an ideal day in school. Just imagine having a class where you can learn about the different cultures of your peers and celebrate your own at the same time. Diversity week would also be a fun way to celebrate different cultures on campus. There can also be social events and field trips to help TCKs learn about the local culture. Moreover, finding someone from the same country or someone who spoke the same language greatly helped students transition to the school (Bartlettet al., 2017). If possible, schools can create mentors or older students who can help students transition into the school. Levels of anxiety, stress and depression significantly decreased when a group of missionary third-culture kids participated in a 13 day transition program (Davis etc). As the cultural demographics within schools change, there needs to be better knowledge on how to develop transitional programs and equip school counselors, so that they can help student’s personal, social and academic development. You might be surprised to find that some students who look like everyone else might have the hardest time transitioning to a new school.

It is inevitable that the world will become more and more interconnected in the future. Given the rapid cultural changes around the world and the growing number of third-culture kids and others who have grown up with multiple cultures, focusing on cultural identity research is important. Third-culture adults also bring a positive value to society. It is important for academics and developmental psychologists to study the implications of a multicultural upbringing. Useem’s initial findings are based on a very specific group of people in the 1950s. However, the expatriate community has changed ever since then. There are also many different kinds of upbringing even within the third-culture community. While some are deeply integrated into local society, others are not. A lot of the research about third-culture kids are based on American children who have grown up in other parts of the world. We should unite research based on other third-culture kids who might have a very different experience from American third-culture kids. For example, the kikokushijo research done in Japan could be applied to American third-culture kids as well. Providing the best transitional programs for international schools and universities with a larger population of third-culture kids and developing identity development models that have a focus on cultural identity must be a priority.

I know that I’m going to get so many more “where are you from” questions. And I myself love to ask that to others when I meet new people too. I’ve found that I love hearing about the vast array of different experiences that people around me share. For third-culture kids, it might be harder for them to give a concrete answer to this question. But as our world becomes more and more interconnected and many more people have the opportunities to experience and get to know different cultures, I hope that TCKs won’t get the strange looks or assumptions when they tell others about themselves.

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